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Remus was alone in his flat again on a Friday. He could have gone to Sirius’ concert, but he had papers to grade and he wanted to return them on Monday and he would probably go to tomorrow’s show when he wasn’t tired from a full day of teaching. He was also slightly miffed that Sirius still hadn’t told him when his new single was going to drop. Considering his tour would be over tomorrow and it still hadn’t come out, Remus was starting to believe he lied about the timing to throw Remus - and the rest of his fanbase - off the scent of something bigger.
It wasn’t the first time Sirius did this to his fans and it likely wouldn’t be the last.
Sirius has been a drama queen since the moment they met at age 11 at boarding school. They, along with their other friends James and Peter, forged a bond that withstood the test of time and distance that naturally came after graduation with Remus and James going to uni, Peter getting a job, and Sirius becoming an internationally-famous musician. You know, the typical career paths.
Remus shook his head and checked his phone for the fifteenth time this hour, hoping for a call or text from Sirius now that he was back in the same city. He’d been on tour for months and while it was nice to have peace and quiet for grading papers at first, he quickly became lonely without his boyfriend to keep him company.
The only thing worse, in Remus’ opinion, than having a long-distance relationship was having a secret long-distance relationship.
Both he and Sirius agreed that Remus would have a much easier time navigating daily life if they kept their relationship secret, and Remus was grateful they were on the same page. If his students knew he was dating the famous Sirius Black he’d never get them to settle down and he’d be hounded by reporters while trying to shop at Tesco. Remus was used to the quiet life he grew up with and dating an international icon wasn’t conducive to that lifestyle.
However, when Sirius went on tour and Remus was left alone for months at a time, it was hard to stay positive and not let his mind run wild with “what if’s” and other scenarios where Sirius left him for a glamorous life on the road with any of the fun and exciting people he met along the way. If his Instagram was anything to go by, he was surrounded by beautiful people and adoring fans no matter where he went and his sporadic calls and texts left much to be desired. Some tours were better than others, but this one was really taking its toll on Remus - and he wasn’t the one performing nearly every night.
They had many different variations of this conversation throughout their relationship and they always agreed on keeping things under wraps, but Remus couldn’t help thinking it wasn’t working out as well as they hoped it would. It wasn’t like he was completely alone - he had Pete just a short tube ride away, and James and Lily had a small house just outside the city that he and Pete could drive to together, which they often did. So no, Remus wasn’t alone, but he also didn’t have Sirius and he felt that absence the most. He felt it in Sirius’ cold half of the bed in the mornings. He heard it in the quiet flat, devoid of loud singing and infectious laughter. He saw it in the sparsely-stocked cabinets that emptied out without Sirius’ impulse buys. But mostly he felt it in his heart when he would turn to tell Sirius something and he wasn’t sitting next to him at dinner or curled up on the other end of the couch.
So Remus was alone and grading papers. He turned on the radio for some background noise and secretly hoped Sirius’ new song would play. Sirius refused to give him - or any of his friends - any information about the song. Not the title, topic, style, or release date. They were all in the dark, although he suspected Lily knew more than she let on. She was a fortress when it came to secrets, however, so he knew there was no use trying to get it out of her.
He was on his second paper when the radio host announced the new single from Sirius Black called “Nobody”. He fumbled for the remote to turn the volume up before he missed it. A simple drum beat started the song, followed by melodic vocals. It was sweeter than songs Sirius normally made, but he was always experimenting with new sounds at home.
You know when it's twelve o'clock in Soho, baby
It's gin o'clock where I wake up, I don't know
And I think about you though, everywhere I go
And I've done everything and I've been everywhere, you know
Remus smiled at the lyrics, remembering Sirius saying something to that effect when trying to get him to try new foods or fashions. “Trust me, I’ve been everywhere, people really do dress like this!”
I've been fed gold by sweet fools in Abu Dhabi
And I've danced real slow with Rockettes on dodgy molly
His smile faltered as he was reminded of the glamorous life Sirius led without him. He hoped the whole song wasn’t going to rub this stark contrast of lifestyles in his face, otherwise he’d have to figure out a good fake reaction for Sirius when he saw him and asked about the song.
But I've had no love like your love, ooh, from nobody
Oh. Well that was unexpected.
I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint
I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave
But I want you to know that I've had no love like your love
Sirius didn’t sing obvious love songs. He sang songs about love, sure, but not songs that sounded like they were for somebody, and this was undeniably for him. He constantly teased Remus throughout school about his “goody-two-shoes” reputation with the teachers while secretly being a pranking mastermind among his friends. There was no way he and Sirius would be together if they didn’t first bond over their combined pranking skills. Once Remus became a Prefect he remembered Sirius saying something about hoping he would still misbehave and not turn into a complete swot. It’s like Sirius was taking a walk through all their conversations, their whole life, and writing Remus a song.
Honey, when you warm the bed on Wednesday
It's suicide Tuesday back in LA
Remus snorted, remembering a particularly dramatic video call from Sirius after a show in Los Angeles where reporters and fans figured out where his hotel was and he couldn’t get out and ended up missing his flight, nearly making him late for the next night’s show. Remus laughed at him from his cozy bed where it was already Wednesday for him due to time differences.
If I had the choice between hearing either noise
The excitement of a thousand, or the soothing of your voice
At first chance, I'd take the bed warmed by the body (woo)
I once warmed my hands over a burning Maserati (woo)
Still I've had no love like your love from nobody
Remus’ smile grew even wider at Sirius’ admission. It was like he heard every insecurity both voiced and unvoiced and made a song telling him “it’s alright, I love you the most out of everything I’ve seen, everywhere I’ve been, and everyone I’ve met”.
I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint
I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave
But I want you to know that I've had no love like your love
And on the other side, why should we deny the truth?
We could have less to worry about, honey, I won't lie to you
But everything I do, I've had no love like your love
If Remus was a little choked up after the song, that was his business. At least Sirius wasn’t there to see it and relentlessly poke fun at him for being so sentimental. He turned the music back down to a respectable level and settled back onto the couch.
“So, what did you think?”
Remus froze at the soft, familiar voice. He turned toward the kitchen and there he was. Sirius was perched on the counter like it was the most natural place for him to be not hours before a show. It took Remus a minute to process that he was indeed here and not a hallucination before he found his voice.
“I think it’s lovely, Sirius.” At Remus’ review, Sirius broke out into a wide grin, lighting up the room and warming Remus’ heart. He’d give anything to have that smile in his life every day.
“Not that I’m not glad to see you here,” Remus made his way to Sirius, burying his face in neck and breathing in his fancy cologne, “but don’t you have somewhere to be? Like, I dunno, the venue?”
“Pish posh, you’re much more important. Plus I had to know what you thought of the song while it was still fresh.” He pressed a kiss on Remus’ forehead as the taller man, now shorter due to Sirius’ perch on the counter, looked up at him.
“It’s a wonderful song, thank you. I understood the references in most of the song - you’re going to have fans up in arms about that Maserati I hope you know that - but I couldn’t figure out the end. Care to explain, Mr. Musical Genius?”
“Well, that’s because it’s not a reference to something that already happened. It’s a lead-in to a question.” Remus drew a sharp breath, hoping this was going where he thought it was.
“I know we decided on keeping things between us quiet because of the press and your privacy, and I respect that. But it’s so lonely on tours and I can’t talk about you how I want to, or take you out how I want to. I can’t be with you in the way I crave to be, and it’s driving me insane. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that our current arrangement is shite?” The last sentence came out more like a question, and Remus could see hesitance underneath the passionate speech. What is he leading up to?
“You’d be absolutely right, love. I know it’s a big move, but I miss you. I want to be able to go out with you too, and be with you like James and Lily can be.”
Sirius lit up with excitement at Remus’ admission, practically vibrating with excitement.
“Well, what do you think about going public then? Are you ready?”
Remus looked into Sirius’ earnest, hopeful eyes and knew there was only one answer.
“Yes. Yes, I’m ready. I’m more than ready.” He leaned in for a deep kiss and melted into Sirius’ embrace where they remained until Remus remembered the concert.
“Sirius, you still have a show tonight! What are you still doing here?”
“I thought it was obvious: I’m kissing my fiance.”
Remus frowned. “Sirius, we’re not engaged.”
A mischievous smile spread across Sirius’ face. “Hmm, true. Do you want to be?”
He slid off the counter and presented Remus with a small box that he pulled from his jacket pocket and cleared his throat.
“Remus Lupin. You are the most important person in my life and I want the world to know that you’re mine and that I’m yours. I’ve been all over the world and experienced so many different things, but I’ve had no love like your love. Will you marry me?”
There was a beat of hesitation as Remus processed what was happening, but once his brain was functioning again he wrapped Sirius in a tight hug and spun him around the kitchen.
“Yes, absolutely I will marry you!” They smiled as they kissed, leaning their foreheads together and savoring the moment.
“Fantastic. So, how about I take you to a concert? I can get you great tickets.” He winked as Remus threw his head back in laughter.
“Backstage or nothing, final offer.” Remus had a pass that allowed him backstage at any concert Sirius headlined for and the road crew knew Remus by name.
“I can’t believe it, not even five minutes after I proposed he’s demanding backstage passes! What’s next? Exclusive merch? Private concerts? Cooking dinner?”
“I know, I’m so demanding. Now let’s go or Marlene will have my head for making you late.”
“Fine fine, but I’m holding your hand.”
“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”
Remus laced their fingers together and grabbed his keys as they closed the door behind them and stepped into their new life together.