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Ray and Rose are late.
Willie checks their phone again, just in case they missed something, a message or a call or a notification saying sorry, your clock got fucked up somehow and actually your brand new boyfriend and girlfriend aren’t standing you up, all better now!
Willie’s been pacing the length of her bedroom for the last thirty minutes, tugging at her hair that’s just starting to get long enough to piss off her dad again and staring at her phone, and there’s been nothing. Their dad’s out of town on a business trip that Willie thinks might not be entirely legal, and Bobby’s away for the weekend at a track meet, and Ray and Rose were supposed to come over to keep Willie company, because this is all very new, and they haven’t had much time alone together, but they’re not here yet and Willie hasn’t heard anything.
He didn’t used to be the kind who panicked—that was always Bobby’s job, grabbing Willie’s wrist for comfort whenever Mr. Wilson raised his voice or police lights painted red and blue against Rose’s latest project—but he’s panicking now. Maybe because a month ago, Willie Covington was the perfect son of the most powerful man in California, with short hair and good grades and a girlfriend on the cheerleading squad. And now she’s gay, probably, and not a boy, she doesn’t think, and maybe Ray and Rose have come to realize that’s too much for them, so they’re standing her up, and it’s only a matter of time before Bobby comes to the same realization and Willie loses three romantic partners and the only friend they’ve ever had all in one go.
Maybe that’s excessive. But after the sexuality crisis and the gender crisis (or… lack of gender crisis, to be more accurate), an abandonment crisis seems like the logical next step.
The clock on their screen changes to 4:35—officially thirty-five minutes after Ray and Rose were supposed to come over to (in Ray’s words) “get to know each other better” and (in Rose’s) “mess with shit.” Willie considers calling them—maybe they just forgot, or lost track of time, or something—but he’s hesitant to make first moves like that. It was Rose, after all, who spray painted Capitalism is Cruel and Unusual Punishment onto Bobby’s garage door and threw them all together, Ray who slyly told them, “We have a lot of love to give, Rose and me,” Bobby who reminded Willie she could grow her hair out, try different pronouns, kiss him when no one was watching.
Willie’s just been along for the ride. She doesn’t know what to do when none of the others is there to take charge.
The phone starts to ring, making Willie jump. It takes them a second to register Ray’s name and number flashing across the screen, but as soon as he does, they hurry to answer the call, heart racing. “Hey—Hey! What, um, how—” She clears her throat, face flushing. “You guys on your way?”
“Sorry, babe,” says Ray in that silky, intoxicating voice of his that makes Willie shiver. “We didn’t mean to worry you, do you mind if we raincheck? Rose isn’t up for it today.”
Willie swallows back the instinctive pit in his stomach that tells them they were right, that Ray and Rose don’t want anything to do with them, not without Bobby there as a buffer, at least. “Is Rose—are they okay?” she makes herself ask.
“Oh, lindo, she’s fine.” Ray’s voice sounds closer, all of a sudden, firmer like he can tell over the phone that Willie’s halfway through a self-deprecating spiral over here. “And we wanted to come, we really did, we just… Rose has had a lot on her plate lately, and they just can’t today. It’s nothing you did, I promise, they just can’t make the trip.”
“Oh.” Willie knows what he means, they think—she’s had plenty of days like that, after cramming for exams or pretending to be madly in love with Amelia Kennedy—days where they can’t get out of bed, can’t complete the simplest of tasks, days where she feels like a candle that’s burned through all its wax and just… can’t anymore.
How can he blame Rose for not wanting to go all the way across town when she’s feeling like that?
“Well, is there anything I can do?” they ask, fiddling with the leather bracelet around her wrist. “Does Rose—or do you need anything? Maybe I could stop by or something.”
As soon as the words are out of her mouth, she kicks herself for asking. Ray and Rose have only mentioned their living situation in passing—Willie knows they live in a trailer over in Bedford Park, no parents to speak of and only the money they’ve made from retail jobs and pickpocketing, but Willie and Bobby have never been invited over, and they’ve never had the courage to ask. It’s always seemed cruel, to Willie, to ask to see a home like that after he and Bobby both have been showing off their dads’ mansions since the day they all met.
She wouldn’t blame Ray if he cursed her out for even suggesting the idea, but Ray’s voice is soft when he says, “Are you sure? We’d both love to see you, Will, really, but—it’s not much. Our place, I mean, it’s not… We don’t have what you have.”
“I know.” Willie chews their lip. “I’d love to see you, too. We don’t even have to do anything, we can just… I can just be with you. If you want. If Rose wants.”
Ray’s quiet just long enough for Willie to start to panic again, but then he says, “Let me talk to Rose. Thank you for offering, Will.”
Ray never calls her Willie. Maybe because everybody else does. It makes them feel glowy and warm inside, like Ray decided from the moment he saw her that she needed a name that was special just to him. Will should make him feel even more like a boy, but it doesn’t, somehow. It just makes her feel like Ray’s.
Ray hangs up, and Willie puts their phone in their pocket so he won’t start to panic again. She takes the time to brush her hair out, pack a little bag with their phone charger and a book Rose said they might like to borrow, in case she’d like Willie to read to her, plus a little bottle of his dad’s vodka, because that’s always been known to make Rose feel better.
They’re just deciding whether or not to bother getting their keys yet when his phone buzzes: a text from Ray listing directions from Willie’s house to Ray and Rose’s trailer.
We can’t wait to see you, the message concludes. And Rose says thanks for being there for her.
Willie’s chest fills with warmth, and she feels confidence like she’s never felt as she pockets her phone and grabs her keys. Halfway to the car, they pull their phone out again to send a response:
I love you guys, okay? I’ll do anything for you.
And before they can chicken out, they hit send.