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Kurena really, truly doesn’t think that Shin is right for Lena.
She’s jealous. It’s true. That’s not why. She’s moved as far past that feeling as anyone could expect to. Given up on the idea that she’ll ever be with him, because even if Lena wasn’t around, it wouldn’t change anything anyway. It’s become painfully obvious that she’ll never be anything more than a “little sister” to Shin.
So jealousy has nothing to do with it. In spite of everything, Kurena actually likes Lena. Admires her, even. However much she hadn’t wanted to at the beginning, she can’t help it now.
That’s the reason.
She loves Shin. He’s almost the strongest person she knows. But she knows that he’s only human. He can break.
When the world tried to bury him, he’d let it. Would have stayed suffocating under the earth if Lena hadn’t reached down and given him her hand – hadn’t helped him pull himself out.
Even if she hadn’t heard all of Shiden’s Bloody Reina stories, Kurena would still know for herself that the world had tried its best to bury Lena too. She can still remember the naïve and inexperienced Handler that she’d first met, and disliked. Can compare that girl to the tough and battle-hardened Commander that she's come to respect. And it’s clear.
When the world had tried to bury her, Lena hadn’t let herself sink. Had fought her way out of the ground like a sprouting seed instead. When the Legion had set her city on fire, she hadn’t crumbled away into ash – she’d tempered to steel. And more than that –
She’d held onto hope. Even knowing how unspeakably cruel and horrifically ugly the world could be, she still believed that it could be kind and beautiful too. That people weren’t defined by their worst impulses. That everyone had the capacity to be better.
“You’re proof,” she’d told Kurena once.
It had just so happened that they’d both gone to get drinks at the same time late one night. It was one of the rare times they were alone together, and Kurena had been thinking about Shin. How he was striving for a future now that she found it impossible to believe in. How it seemed like he was leaving her behind.
She’d known that it was because of Lena, and so she couldn’t stop herself from asking: “How can you really think there’s anything beautiful about humanity?”
And Lena’s answer had confused her so badly that she’d only managed a “Huh?” in response.
“You have every reason to hate the Republic – the Alba. You could have let that hatred get big enough to let the Legion through – to die just to take the Republic down with you. It would have been the easiest thing to do.”
“But you didn’t. You lived. You fought. Because you’re brave and you’re strong and you’re kind. How could I not see that humanity is beautiful when I’m surrounded by people like you?”
Kurena had thought that was wrong. Stupid, even. Pride was the only thing that she really had left – the only thing no one else could ever take away from her – and so she’d fought just to hang onto it. That wasn’t brave and it wasn’t strong and it certainly wasn’t beautiful or kind.
But some traitorous part of her couldn’t ignore what Lena said either. For a minute, those words made her feel like she was worth something. Like she was special. Like she was important - and just for being herself, not for being a seasoned veteran, an ace sniper.
And that feeling was so addictive, it was easy to see why Shin had fallen in love with her. Because she didn’t think anyone would be able to resist wanting to hold onto it. To feel that way all the time, if they could.
Shin had always been their Reaper and so he’d existed in darkness. Winding all of their death and despair around himself in a weighted chain that he’d struggled to step forward under. If it hadn’t been for Lena, he would have let that weight crush him in place. Kurena knows this because she’d watched for herself as it very nearly had.
At this point, Kurena’s not sure that Shin could even survive losing Lena, but she’s sure that Lena could survive losing Shin. She’s become the sun to his moon. Kurena can see a light in him now, but she thinks it's probably nothing more than a reflection of hers.
And that’s why Kurena doesn’t think that he’s right for her. Thinks that Lena would probably be better off trying to find someone that can shine just as brightly as she does. Someone better than human. Someone that can’t break.
But she’ll never say it out loud. Especially never to either of them. Because she still loves Shin.
And, as much as she hates to admit it, Lena is perfect for him.