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He couldn’t get her out of his head.
Gloss was off his game today. Cashmere had sent him several concerned looks, her eyes worried behind her plastic smile. He knew he had to play his part and appease the Capitol, especially with the 66th Games so close. But he couldn’t focus on any of that with his girl still back home.
His girl. His heart still fluttered when he said the phrase, even just to himself. Esme was ethereal in his mind, glowing softly with happiness, her dark hair tumbling down her shoulders.
Gloss had kissed her just last week. Their first kiss had been nothing short of euphoric. It was so important that he couldn’t take his mind off it, no matter how hard he tried.
“Hey,” Cashmere whispered in his ear. He could feel her warm breath on his neck, snapping him back into attention. “It’s time to review the reapings.”
The reapings. Right. Their tributes sat on the train, prideful and patient, waiting for his words of wisdom. What could Gloss say? Don’t win the Games because your life will never be your own again? Don’t fall in love because you’ll never be prepared to leave?
“The first step to winning,” Cashmere explained, her words extra smooth to make up for his mental absence, “is preparation. You must know your opponents. We’ll review the reaping footage of all twelve districts and we will discuss each one in detail. Understand?”
Smart. She was keeping the tributes and Capitol personnel occupied so he could manage his feelings. And when she was having a rough day, he would do the same for her. That was how he and Cash operated: as a team.
“That’s a good question,” Cashmere was saying, and he once again realized that he’d missed part of the conversation. “Gloss, what should they do if their preferred weapons aren’t at the Cornucopia?”
“Do the best you can with what you have,” he recited, this line nearly effortless after years of use. “The odds won’t always be in your favor, but that doesn’t mean you can’t turn them.”
His tributes looked at him, soaking in every word. Nobody else looks at him with such blind respect, not even his sister. Cashmere called him out when he was being stupid; these tributes looked like they would rather die than say anything negative about him.
Usually, this would instill a feeling of confidence, but today, Gloss barely even noticed.
“I’m going to my room,” he announced, standing up from the plush seats of the train. “I’ll be back soon."
Thankfully, Cash let him go. Gloss made it down the hallway quickly, shutting his bedroom door closed with a soft click. He was about to collapse on his bed when he saw a familiar red envelope sitting innocently on his pillow.
He just about vomited in the sink.
Please, not now. He couldn’t handle seeing a client so soon after his first real kiss. So soon after realizing he was in love. He’d tried refusing before, shortly after he’d gotten together with Esme, and Snow had granted him forgiveness then. It wouldn’t hold for a second time, that he knew for sure.
He sat on his bed until dinner, mind reeling. Finally, he stood on shaky legs and made the long walk to the dining room, ready to join the others for a meal. Cash shot him a concerned glance but he brushed it off.
An Avox moved to pour him some wine, but he wanted his head clear, so he stopped her. Gloss made the mistake of looking up at her face, into those familiar dark eyes, and he almost screamed aloud.
As it turned out, Snow had not been as forgiving as he’d thought.
“No,” he whispered, and his girl looked back at him, equally horrified. A small keening noise escaped her throat, and she hurried away to her spot in the corner of the room. “No, no.”
Cashmere’s gaze followed his line of vision, eyes widening in recognition. She hurried the tributes out of the dining room, and as soon as the room was empty, Gloss crossed the room in a matter of seconds.
Esme’s eyes watered with tears that she wouldn’t–or couldn’t–shed. Gloss only had a moment before he would start to look suspicious to the cameras. As discreetly as he could, he took her hands in his, whispered a quick I love you, and left the room.