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Pigs could fly, the sky could turn green, and the sun could rise in the west and Obi still would have considered his current situation an impossibility.
Shirayuki held a death grip on the sleeves of his black thermal shirt, sparking panic inside him. Because Shirayuki never panicked. She had a plan for everything. Even her backup plans had backup plans, God— how had things gotten to this point?
He'd dropped everything to drive to her apartment .02 seconds after reading an S.O.S. text. He just hoped he still had a job after today.
Though, employment seemed like a trivial matter the moment Miss opened her mouth.
"Obi, Will you marry me?"
Yes.
He blinked. "What?"
She started nervously kneading at his sleeves, and Obi couldn’t seem to breathe air anymore. “I- okay. So. I did the math,” she let him go and began pacing the room, which only made him more nervous now that her steadying grasp wasn’t anchoring him to reality, “and being married would actually save us about $20,000 in tuition and tax breaks. Each.”
Huh. That’s a lot of money.
. . .
That’s a lot of money.
He could save every bit of every paycheck, and that was still more than he could hope to make in a year with his current part-time schedule.
To say he was having a hard time processing would be an understatement. “How is that possible?”
She motioned to her kitchen table, which was currently covered in intimidating stacks of what he could only assume were printed tax laws and financial documents. Her laptop was open, with at least 15 tabs queued and the FAFSA website displayed in all its nausea-inducing glory.
“Married couples receive 25k in a joint tax return, which we would split for about 12k each.” She bit her thumbnail, clearly anticipating the worst reaction, but Obi could do little more than gape. “We could also claim ourselves as independents, which would give us an estimated 8k in financial aid, each, bare minimum. Well,” she paused, looking down at her fidgeting hands, “you could already claim that, but I— I’m still- “
“I don’t under-“ He rubbed his forehead, already feeling a headache forming. “Wait. Just wait.”
She bit her lip. Not even that small action could distract him from the whirlwind of thoughts in his brain, too busy trying to puzzle out this nightmare ‘would you rather?’ question. Something along the lines of: your best friend proposes to you but it’s a cry for help, or die alone. Well, more like ‘the woman of your dreams’ proposes, because best friend could also be construed as—
Wait. Wait, shit.
What about Zen?
“What about Boss? Shouldn’t you be asking him about this?” He choked midway through; just because he thought their relationship was an inevitability didn’t mean he wanted to personally tell Shirayuki to go pop the question. He ran a hand through his short hair, yanking at what little purchase he could find, wishing he could just tug all the stress from his head by force.
“Why would I ask Zen?” Her confusion made his breath hitch painfully, for Zen’s sake. She looked so utterly perplexed that Obi couldn’t help but feel he’d read this all dreadfully wrong.
“He would just offer to pay all of my tuition, it’s who he is”, she continued. Sounds about right, Obi couldn’t help nodding his agreement, though Zen might make some sort of ‘born into money’ argument like Shirayuki’s education was ‘an investment’ or something.
…Oh, Boss. It’s phrases like that that are the reason your date to every dance we had in high school didn’t even consider you for a tuition-motivated elopement.
“But I can’t accept that, especially not from a friend. If I wanted to be in debt, I’d take out a loan.” She thought for a moment. “Well, more loans.”
"Regardless, I don't think Boss will like this plan very much." More like it would break his heart. They'd both fallen hard for the same oblivious, kind-hearted, career-focused redhead but Zen had met her first. Became her friend and ally when all their paths crossed that first miraculous year of high school. Announced to the gang after graduation that he would try his best to win her heart, that he wanted to marry Shirayuki one day.
All the while, Obi cheered them on; he’d long accepted that one day, his two best friends would be together and there would be no room for him any longer. He would just— move. Far away. To another country, if that’s what it took. He’d find a place for himself in this world, somewhere. Someday.
But this…
This went against bro code like, ten times over.
"I don't see how Zen's opinion matters. This is between me and you." Obi heard a distinct crack deep in his eardrums and couldn’t distinguish if it was guilt resounding in his ears or the sound of Boss' heart breaking somewhere far away.
“But-“ he tried, unsuccessfully.
“He’s not even your real Boss. Izana signs your paychecks.”
Obi’s eyes rounded. “Miss.” Had he ever heard her speak so bluntly? It was disconcerting. He opened his mouth to say as much, but, ah, Miss was gaining traction, and Obi was a sitting duck on the tracks.
“Now, I know that you and Zen were going to room together in the Wisteria complex. And you could still do that if it makes you more comfortable. Or…”
Was the room spinning? Obi felt a little light-headed. He had a sinking feeling he knew what she was about to say.
“Or?” He whispered.
“The scholarship money I do have is strictly allocated for housing, so you can live here, with me, rent-free. There’s plenty of room. Enough for a m-married couple, even.” She gestured one hand around her barren one-bedroom apartment like she was presenting him with a gift, and she was so damned convincing, unknowingly offering up heaven on Earth in a neatly wrapped, blood-stained, betrayal-tinged package.
Obi fell to her patchy, thrifted couch and pinched the bridge of his nose. It’s like someone reached into his heart and pulled out his deepest desire, telling him it could all be his for the low, low price of his entire soul. The devil might as well have been speaking through Shirayuki, for all he was breaking down by the second, ever closer to accepting her proposal and damning the consequences. Of which, there would certainly be many.
If he had known this was what he was walking into today he might’ve- hell, he didn’t know, put on a nicer shirt or something, at least.
Shirayuki knelt in front of him, grasping at his knees.
"Please. I don't know what else to do." Her shaky voice made him feel sick. “I’ve taken out too many loans for tuition already, I’m doing work-study, I’m using every scholarship offered to me and I’m still in the red.”
"It could be anyone, right?" He didn't know what he was saying, not when the thought of her marrying someone else threatened to stop his heart mid beat, but he had a firm grip on his shovel and he wouldn’t stop until he hit six feet deep. "Yuzuri or Kihal even. The law doesn't distinguish-"
"No.” She firmly shook her head, and he felt nails biting through denim. “No, I can't ask this of anyone else."
His laugh sounded hollow, maybe a little broken, even to his own ears. "But you can ask it of me?"
"I trust you more than anyone else in this world, Obi. With my life, even. It has to be you."
He groans. He can't say no, now. He’s not strong enough. She's got him with his hands tied behind his back and he has absolutely no desire to look for a knife.
"It's okay if you don't want to." She said softly, eyes glistening. Her hands balled into fists, but he saw how her knuckles whitened, knew she was pricking crescent moons into her palm to keep it together as long as she could manage.
"I’ll just drop out. I’m sure I can find something else to do for work."
Do you know why I want to be a doctor, Obi?
“I’ll get into Botany. Learn about plants. I’ve always found Herbalism interesting.”
I want to keep learning, keep growing, and become an asset to my friends and community.
“I can open my own business. Write my own schedule. It’ll be… nice.”
I… I think I could be really good at it.
“Actually, you’re right,” she sniffled, rubbing at her nose, “of course you’re right, I shouldn’t have-”
“No.” He grabbed her wrists before she could finish pulling away, and her eyes locked on his hands.
“Don’t take it back.” He grimaced at her hopeful expression. No going back, now.
For either of them.
Without letting go, he slid to his knees next to her on the hardwood floor. Even at this height, he still towered over her.
“There are plenty of folks out there that need help from someone like you.” I needed help, from someone like you, he doesn’t say, because Shirayuki is all too aware. He pulls her right hand up to his chest, and she places her palm over the scar they both know lies under the cottony black fabric.
“Far be it from me to keep you from them.” His wistful grin was rewarded with the return of the ever-present resolve in the forest green gaze that he loved so much. The look that made everything feel worth it.
“Miss, I accept your proposal.” He bowed dramatically, because if he didn’t act silly, his emotional turmoil would find an escape route through his tear ducts, and he couldn’t bear for Shirayuki to worry because of it.
He gasped when she enveloped him in a hug, fiercely appreciative and determined.
“Thank you, Obi.” She warbled, her voice watery. “What you just said- I promise I’ll live up to your hopes for me. Everyone’s hopes.”
His heart squeezed; he finally wound his arms around her, returning the hug with all the affection he’d never had the right to offer. Maybe still didn’t.
“Miss, you don’t have to do anything of the sort. You’ve always been enough, all on your own.”