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Aimsey had travelled. She had travelled for so long. She travelled with friends, with a friend, alone. All through different towns and biomes, met loads of new people. She visited so many different places over her months and months of travelling but it never truly felt like just travelling. No matter how much she denied it, no matter how much she pushed it down to the bottom of her heart. She could try to hide away from it, pretend the thought was never there to begin with, but it would never disappear. Aimsey was searching. For what? Honestly sometimes she didn’t know. But no matter how much she didn’t want to admit it she knew she was searching for something.
She had left home. Sometimes she fondly thought of the BearSMP as her previous home, sometimes she bitterly wondered if she could even call it that, if it was ever truly her home to begin with. Her end with the BearSMP was complicated (to her at least). So many loose ends and unresolved feelings, it was a mess to think about some days. She had gained and lost so much in so little time and there was so much to think about. So she decided on calling it complicated. Thinking of the BearSMP used to strike rage into her, igniting into a burning forest of frustration in her head and leaving a thick layer of ember ash to settle over her heart. Over time the thought of the land, the people in it, everything gained and lost, turned to nothing but a dull ache. It became nothing but a memory. Good or bad? Up for interpretation. But the land she had once called home was nothing but a memory now. It would take much longer to fully move on, but god, if Aimsey did one thing it was move.
Aimsey constantly moved. She continued moving from place to place, person to person, world to world to distract from that dull ache in her heart. She just kept moving. Physically she never stayed in one place too long and emotionally she never stayed with a person longer than she thought she could (except for one) . She just kept moving. She moved fast and she moved all the time. If she created enough fast paced, new memories she would be able to move on from the old ones. If she filled her brain with enough shiny new material she could use it to bury the more monumental items that had cluttered her head. The memories that stuck straight to her core. The memories that haunted her dreams. The memories that meant more to her than anything in the past months would ever mean. But she could try anyway, she could do her best to move on.
And so she moved.
As expected this couldn’t last forever and she began to crack. Aimsey eventually became so exhausted with moving. It wasn’t working the way she wanted it to and it was taking so much energy out of her to keep coming and going so quickly. It was tiring to keep meeting and abandoning, staying and packing up. A thousand new people weren’t worth the few she used to have. A million shiny new memories would never replace the very few that would stay with her forever, Ingrained in her brain, sketched into her mind and playing on a loop of heartache and nostalgia. Moving on from what you used to have was difficult. Especially when you couldn’t admit you lost it in the first place.
Right when Aimsey was about to give up, she gave moving one last chance. One last move. One last week of travelling through small towns and forests to find some more people to chat with and leave. She decided to see if it was possible to find something worth staying for. Day six was when she found it. Day six of that final move was the one. She went through little towns and forests and deserts and mountains, travelled as many blocks as she could. She wanted to go as far as possible before she truly decided moving wasn’t worth it. On day six Aimsey stumbled into the DreamSMP.
She met a guy named Ranboo, he mostly called himself Boo. He was alright! He was kinda funny and he happily showed her around the SMP. He gave a tour on all the builds, a quick history lesson of the server, and even introduced her to a few other people. The DreamSMP was…an SMP for sure. It was a little creepy, a sort of ghost town if you will. Almost everything Ranboo showed her was either abandoned or close to being left behind. Buildings were worn down, empty and filled with cobwebs. Places unused, unfinished, unloved. The most concerning of all was the amount of bloodshed. While it had it's ups and downs, the BearSMP was relatively peaceful (until the end) , there were no wars or prisons or countries being blown up. No amount of bloodshed compared to the DreamSMP. The foundations of everything that made this server unique were built from war, chaos, destruction. While the remains of L’manburg were quite pretty they still left a haunting afterthought in Aimsey’s head as she followed behind Ranboo.
But even with the concerns, even with the problems and the terrible people and stories that had just been thrown in her face, Aimsey still found the DreamSMP to be a bit charming. There was so much to do, explore, and learn. There were so many places left unseen even after the full tour, so many buildings and attractions to be picked up again. When she found herself almost relating to everyone’s issue of moving from project to project without a second thought, it scared her. It scared her to become like that. It was terrifying to agree with the idea of not creating the emotional bonds she used to have in life. To move so freely and leave so much behind. She quickly realized how similar she had already become to that in the last few months. So, impulsively, Aimsey decided to stay. She decided to stay in the DreamSMP for as long as she could. “Permanently”, or at least as long as “permanently” would allow her to.
There had been so much on the SMP left to waste away she almost felt bad to create something entirely new to live in right away. The idea of taking something abandoned and bringing life back to it was exciting. One place immediately struck her mind; Snowchester. Specifically the giant mansion that was in the small, snowy town. The mansion, and essentially the entire town, was completely abandoned. Ranboo said the house had never been used. That he and someone named Tubbo had planned to move in but “never found the time” before moving to other things, so when Aimsey asked if she would be able to stay there Ranboo and company lit up at the idea.
Looking at the mansion now, it was massive. The red ribbon from when it was first finished still hung sadly in front of the main entrance. It was a miracle it hadn’t been blown away or fully disintegrated by now. Foolish, the guy who apparently built the mansion among many other builds around the SMP, let Ranboo have the honours of cutting said ribbon since it was technically supposed to be his house. Aimsey didn’t mind. Ranboo gave a speech, half heartedly and filled with sarcasm, but overall it was sweet. It made Aimsey think of what could have been if he ever had found the time to make the house his home. Ranboo cut the ribbon and declared Aimsey owner of the house. In his sarcastic speech he also suggested Aimsey was now married to the house? She laughed it off. Stepping into the main entrance she stared up at the chandelier, that needed a good dusting, and took a deep breath. A new home. Well, a house, for now. A new house.
Foolish and Ranboo gave a tour of the mansion, showing off each room and hallway. It had been a long time since either of them walked around the place, they kept getting lost and stumbling around. But they managed to show Aimsey every room. She promised Foolish she would take care of the tree sitting in one of the rooms for him. Foolish and Ranboo then took their leave and Aimsey got settled. They walked up and down each hallway, a bit dusty but still looking brand new. They walked and walked to familiarize themself with the mansion, it was huge. They eventually picked a room to make their bedroom. They placed down a bed and the oxeye daisy they carried around with them the whole day. Even with that dull ache in their heart they still couldn’t let go of their love for flowers. Maybe a new memory of the same concept wouldn’t be too bad. Not exactly like replacing anything, right? Just making new out of the old. They eventually placed a carpet trail leading from the hallways to their bedroom. One day they’d learn the path by heart but for now they could follow the red wool.
Looking around as the sun began to set overhead, putting their first day in this new land to a close, the house began to feel a bit eerie. There was nothing wrong with it but the more they explored the more they found. Old boxes that had never been moved into proper rooms, pictures hanging on walls, torches and chests everywhere filled with items. An old jacket hanging in a closet, it was a light brown with white wool on the hood. It was pretty. It also looked like it had never been worn or even touched once. Maybe if the cold of the snowy biome got too much Aimsey could take the jacket out. Surely if it had been left here this long no one would mind. There was scaffolding left on some walls but the view from the balcony was so pretty. It was one of the only places in the house where the floors actually looked like someone had once walked over them. Aimsey didn’t know what to make of that. There were a few books left behind. Some…children’s drawings? For a house that never got used there was still so much of the old ‘owners’ in it.
They walked back over to their room, the idea to put down the carpet saving them a good ten minutes of aimlessly wandering down hallways. They fixed the torches around the room a bit, adjusting the lighting. They made a list of all the renovations they wanted to get done, deciding what each room should be filled with. Noting what needed to be cleaned, worn in, polished. It felt good. It was good to have something to look forward to. A purpose, if you will. It felt like after endless searching and seeking they had finally found something worth their time. For now the search was over. They had lots to do, a place to stay, and it felt good. Aimsey would admit; they were a bit scared of that. The DreamSMP obviously wasn’t the most peaceful of places, if things were able to go wrong in the mild BearSMP then surely this land would be hell. But maybe it would be worth it?
They weren’t sure. Aimsey wasn't able to tell if all the time alone had warped their perception of people or if they were finally moving on. Healing. They probably wouldn’t be able to answer that one for a long, long time but for once that was okay. Normally that would be a terrible thing but right now Aimsey felt content with not having all the answers. They could get used to that.
Something caught their eye from across the room, there was a dark black box sitting in the corner. How hadn’t they noticed that before? They walked over and poked at it. It was likely more of Ranboo and Tubbo’s stuff. If it had been left here for so long they could probably open it without repercussions. So they did. Folding open the top flaps and peering inside, they felt strange. There was all sorts of stuff in there. Clothes, adults and childrens, more drawings, pictures, some knickknacks, journals, portraits. Aimsey was tempted to pull things out and take a better look but they somehow felt like they shouldn’t. It would be best to keep it locked away, to keep that chapter of someone else’s life closed. Pushing the box back into the corner they looked out the window at the setting sun. The sky was a gorgeous pink, purple, blue, and orange gradient. The stars were beginning to shine as the sun slipped away and the moon slowly rose over the land. Aimsey liked the idea of bringing life back to something abandoned, but looking over the house it felt like there was still life left in it.
It almost felt like the house held a memory of something that never was. Well, Aimsey only supposed that made her and the house all the better match, something in common, huh?
“Welcome home, Aimsey.” She muttered softly into the heavy silence surrounding her. And the sun set.