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Fraccoon Girl and the Forces of Evil

Summary:

Uhhh basically read DiabolicalWorldwriter's crack fic before this because otherwise it won't make sense. Or have a go without it for funsies idk.

Basically characters are reacting to a story in DiabolicalWorldwriter's crack fic, but instead of a fever dream it's a comic written by Kym and lauki instead of kiwi because fake dating.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Laurens eye twitched.

Spread out in front of her was Kym's latest abomination creation she'd spent her free time on. A 20 page epic detailing the tale of Fraccon Girl, a girl who was both raccoon and frog, taking over the world with the help of catboy Kiran, Will the frog and Lauren the (she had to double check she was reading this right) Lauren the detective who was normal but became a god once she drank coffee??

"I don't get paid enough for this" Will's voice was barely a whisper, having long surrendered to the LSD trip of a woman that was Kym Ladell. The latter was quite proud of herself in spite of the feedback, grinning broadly from ear to ear as Lauren and Will stood dumbstruck in front of her desk.

Putting her feet up on her desk and her arms behind her head, she gave a contented sigh. "Great, isn't it? You guys are truly blessed to see my innovations" she said proudly.

"Or cursed" Will muttered under his breath.

Kym paid him no mind, swiveling her chair to Lauren and explaining the details of Fraccon Girls dark and mysterious past. Just as she'd gotten to the part where Fraccoon Girl swallowed a frog after her birth, Kiran walked in.

Lauren quickly strode over to him, and under the guise of taking a file and greeting him for the morning, she pinched his arm.

"Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of . Here." Lauren said under her breath, releasing her grip and clearing up her desk nearby.

Kiran raised an eyebrow. "A good morning would've sufficed, mon amour" his tone was dry, but nonetheless put out by her behaviour.

That was until Kym noticed him. "Ah, just the catboy I wanted to see!" she exclaimed. Kiran shot Lauren a look of pure fear, which was met by her trademark 'I told you so' stare.

In a flash, he was being dragged over to her desk by his wrist, and forced to stand next to the remnants of Hawkes,who was now as still as a statue and trying to slowly shuffle back to his desk.

Kym gestured grandly to her comic. "I'm pleased to unveil this new critically acclaimed bestseller, Fraccoon Girl! A froggy saga missioned by William Hawkes, written by me and adored by every single Adhalis citizen, and if you don't like it, you can go talk to the swamp! Thoughts?" She nodded slightly to her papers, forcing Kiran to take a look.

Will stiffened. "I did no such thing, how dare you try to rope me into..whatever this is" he gestured listlessly at the comic. "If I recall correctly, I remember you telling me the idea on patrol and me shutting it down immediately" his tone was grim.

"But I'd only told you about the backstory, your input about a wizard truly made the sc-" her speech was stopped by Will forcing a hand over her mouth and looking grimly at Kiran. "Read it so we can move on please. Now"

The man was already reeling from her monologue and Will's "input" alone, but he read it nonetheless. He looked over at Lauren, Will and Kym each in turn, before staring back at Fraccoon Girl.

"Well, at least I'm as handsome as I normally am" he said, trying his best to make light of the situation.

"You're selling Kym's artistry quite poorly then" Lauren scoffed, taking a needed sip of her coffee.

"Well darling, we can't all be coffee gods, get off that high horse of yours and remember I'm trying to make light of the situation" He said in response.

With her mouth freed from Wills hand, Kym beamed. "No need catboy, my art produces enough sparkling light as it is, although your attention to detail proves what I've been saying since I showed these two Fraccoon Girl!" She posited.

Kiran looked up, badly masked fear in his eyes. Lauren and Will stiffened, but the former hid a smile behind her coffee cup, knowing what was coming next.

"You appreciate the true artistry of the comic and it's super successful! These two just haven't seen it yet, but with your endorsement I know that it'll go far" She smiled. "When I told Lila about it, she seemed happy too"

Kiran nodded slowly, wondering if burning down Kyms desk and the horrors on it was a little too outside of his archivist persona.

"She's also a people pleaser who was too scared to say anything else because you shoved it in her face" Will said, having none of it.

"Nonsense! You just are an uncultured, heartless, unsympathetic to Fraccoons, watermelon hating-" Wills shouts drowned out her tirade as both bickered over the comics creation and whether or not she was actually going to do her paperwork.

Kiran, still at Kym's desk, was about to walk away when a paper caught his eye. It was the last of the comic, the page he had forgotten to read during the debate. He looked up. "What's this about a kiss?" He asked.

Will and Kym immediately stopped arguing. Hawkes starred to shake his head adamantly and walked back to his desk, muttering something about how earning jail time for assault was unfitting for his station. Lauren sighed deeply, massaging her temples. "You shouldn't have gone there"

Kym spoke over her. "Well! These two here" (she sweeped her arm over her fellow grief stricken co-workers) "turn into frogs and it's up to you to give them a princely kiss to save them. Well more specifically Lau-"

"I hope Randall finds out about this." Lauren interrupted, slightly flushed and looking like she'd stepped in a garage unit in Greychapel.

Kym went stiff with fear. "If anyone tells Lucas about this, I will make your character kiss Hermman, who will not be handsome, and then place the comic onto his desk by accident." She punctuated this with a deathly stare at the three of them.

Will slowly shook his head in disbelief. "She needs an exorcism, that woman" he sat back down at his desk, clearly at his limit, and took a shakey sip of his coffee.

Kym was summoned out of the room by March, asking her to give him details about a recent robbery. Much to the mercy of her co-workers, she left, but not before turning to look at Kirean and Lauren with a wink. "Stay tuned next week for the kiss" she left, a Cheshire grin itching on her lips.

Kirean had heard enough, especially now that their elaborate lie about dating was involved. He said goodbye to Lauren and Will, but not before seeing the former quickly scrunch up the last page and throw it out the window, muttering about Kym not missing it as she sat back down.

Chuckling, Kiran walked back into the files room, shaking his head at this morning's chaotic events. He was intrigued by the lure of what would happen in next week's chapter, however ashamed he was to admit it.

Maybe working at the APD wasn't so bad after all.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! Leave a comment or kudos if you want, and thank you again to DiabolicalWorldwriter for making a fever dream fic. This is my first Purple hyacinth fic and it definitely won't be my last!