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The room was too much.
Loud, crowded, cramped, overwhelming, everything.
Sophie tried to just tune it out, but the words in their book started to blur together while the noise only crammed their head.
The class started fine, but because so many AP Classes just finished their testing, kids flooded constantly in and out of classrooms. And this teacher was one of the best due to no tardies nor checking if a kid had a pass.
Sure, it was fine in theory, but of course this was the day Sophie left their headphones at home.
Keefe leaned a little on their desk; they couldn’t focus on anything except his shoulder. The pin Dex made to change for the pronouns each day depending on his mood just looked like a green blob. Frankly everything about Keefe did. “Soph? You ok?”
The words were right there .
They just stared at him, frozen. All they could do was close the book.
Keefe leaned further on their desk and helped them set the book down. He traced her fingers. “Hey, Soph, you need to breathe. We realize that, right?”
They glared at him. He grinned back. Sure, he was calming, but the room was still so loud . A kid suddenly yelled across the room to their friends.
And of course the friends responded in the same manner.
Sophie pulled their hands away from Keefe’s to block their ears. Why couldn’t everything just quiet down?
Touching their ears made their face tingle. Tears weld in their eyes.
God everything was way too fucking much.
“Sophie,” Keefe started “I know eye contact is weird, but we’ve gotta get you out of your head, so just focus on my voice, ok?” Sophie forced their chest to breathe. “Is touch ok?”
Sophie’s foot just started to tap faster. Maybe?
Heh, talking was definitely a no go.
Keefe immediately sat back in his desk. “Ok, ok. Hey, it’s okay , Sophie. We can work through this.” The words pieced themselves together in a slow, steady rhythm like a drum. “Can I get Fitzy to help you while I get us an exit plan or would that overwhelm you?”
Sophie shut their eyes tighter and pressed their thumbnail into their ring finger’s nail. No no no .
“Ok, that’s ok. It’s cool. Ummmm, I’m trying to think of something to talk about to get you to focus on but it’s all just kinda lost in my head. If even there. OH! WAT! WHY DIDN’T I REMEMBER THIS SOONER!” Keefe’s voice went WAY above a whisper in that last part.
They both flinched in response. “Yea, sorry,” Keefe said. He started to rummage through his backpack until he found a pair of earbuds. “Guess I’m lucky you still a-LOUD me to help you out, bud.”
He put the earbuds on Sophie’s desk, alongside a clickable pen, trying hard not to touch their arm. “I know they’re not noise canceling, but they can’t hurt to try.”
Sophie gave him a sympathetic smile while tucking their hair behind their ears. It was really tangly and frankly sucked to touch, but whatever. They could work.
They put the earbuds in, and the room went a little quieter. Instead of everyone yelling it sounded like they were just talking loudly.
As they clicked the pen, they started to cry. They both helped, kinda, but the noise and earbuds touching their ears was a lot. Too much. The tears came out and they wanted to leave.
Sophie couldn’t bring themself to talk or even move the pen to write to him. She promised Grady and Edaline she wouldn’t do this unless she absolutely had to because of how much of a headache it gave them, but they couldn’t just stay here. They grabbed Keefe’s arm and transmitted to him: Fitz.
That single word was all the energy they had to give. Their hair fell back over their ears and touched their cheek. They physically couldn’t move their hand away from his arm or move their hair.
Keefe gave her a stare that showed there were no thoughts behind his eyes. “ What ?”
Sophie tried to glare at him but the tears that restarted didn't make that work.
“Soph, I love you, but I don’t know what ‘Fitz’ means . I am going to talk my thoughts out loud until I get to a conclusion about what it does mean, though. Will my (hopefully) great score on the English test help out with this deductive reasoning? We will see. Fitz, did I mention Fitz earlier? Wait, shit, I did. Do you want to get out of here?”
Sophie nodded, eagerly.
“Ok, give me a few minutes.”
The group of friends yelled again, echoed by another. Sophie ripped out the earbuds and tried to focus on just clicking the pen. It kind of worked, but they couldn’t tune out the background noise as much as they hoped. It was just numbing how overwhelming it all was.
Tears definitely blurred their vision while the scenery changed around them.
Someone was talking near them. It wasn’t quite like whispering, exactly, but it was still soft, gentle.
Sophie recognized that buzz of calm later than they would like to admit.
Hey, my flower. Fitz was smiling at them.
Sophie couldn’t respond. They wanted to, but they just couldn’t . There was a wall of glass between their brain and body. They physically couldn’t move anything except their thumb to just click the pen.
Frankly the pen sucked between their hands, but it was something .
Do you want pressure? Or an arm? Fitz said, trying to ground them.
The words buzzed inside their head and they hurt . Sophie willed themself not to scream. They needed to leave but they couldn’t move.
“Hey, Sophie, I know this is a lot right now, and I’m not great at the whole ‘let’s not zone out into a panic attack’ thing, but from what my therapist says, that’s not exactly great. So, um, yea. I don’t really know what to do here because most of the things that work for me require touching, which is definitely not it for you right now. Totally cool, but what do you need?”
Keefe interrupted them by kind of running into the desk. “Guys! I got a pass from the teacher to head to the library to ‘study’. We do however have about two minutes until he realizes that I’m not actually in his class, nor am I the type of kid who wants to go into the library and study, so, team, we’ve gotta scram . Sophie, I’ll get your bag so you don’t have to touch it, Fitzy, everything ready?”
They both nodded and all stumbled out of the class.
As soon as the door shut behind them in the hallway, it was quieter. You could hear the kids inside the class, but it sounded like they were just talking.
They walked down the hallway a little further, then the classroom sounded like a whisper.
And then nothing.
The hallway was dead quiet.
Sophie basically slammed themselves against the lockers and started to just sob. They slid down to put their head onto their knee and their hair spread around them.
Keefe and Fitz sat on both sides of them and stayed with them for who even knows how long.
Time just made them dizzy and lightheaded and tired.
They just sat there, too drained to move.
But they could feel themself breathing again. Their ribs were lighter and their chest didn’t hurt anymore.
They leaned their head against the wall and tried to wipe off the tears.
“I have water, if you want it.” Fitz said, a kind smile seeping into his voice.
“I wouldn’t recommend opening your eyes, though.” Keefe added. “It’s, like, really bright in this hallway. Reminds me a lot of a creepy hospital.”
Fitz let out a sigh with a chuckle. “Keefe, love, entirely the wrong thing to say right now. But, yea, Flower, I definitely don’t recommend opening your eyes. Also the water is in a plastic bottle so it’s a fifty fifty shot if it actually stayed cold.”
Fitz lightly tapped the water bottle on their leg. “Want some?”
Sophie took the bottle and drank it very slowly. It wasn’t cold but the liquid felt good.
They slowly opened their eyes and just stared at the vivid blue lockers. God they were so tired .
They leaned over and rested their head on Keefe’s shoulder. Fitz scooted over and used Keefe’s other one for his head. Fitz ruffled his hair a little before he settled down.
Sophie kind of hated how they could feel both Keefe’s and Fitz’s breathing, which was very uneven, but they didn’t want to support themselves. They really liked having the both of them there.
The floor however was extremely uncomfortable to sit on.
Sophie grabbed the yellow-slip from under Keefe’s leg and pointed to the word ‘library’.
“Oh thank god you’re getting uncomfortable too.” Keefe stood up and started to stretch. Sophie and Fitz looked at each other in confusion.
They then scooted closer and leaned on each other instead. A feeling of another person’s breathing patterns was better than two for Sophie. It wasn’t great, but better.
They both decided to glare at each Keefe.
“I’m sorry!! I do not have shoulder muscles. Or any, really. And this tiled floor is ass. It hurts too much for my iconic ass. I do, however, agree with Soph. We should go to the library.”
Fitz recullentaly nodded in agreement. “The chairs are comfier and they could excuse us from our next class.”
He then got up and extended a hand to Sophie in a bow to help them get up.
They really didn’t want to grab it.
“Fitzy. Why the hell are you being all chivalrous to someone who is going through bad sensory issues when I am right here . And! I won’t cry if you kiss me. Just saying. If you were wondering.”
Fitz walked over to him and kissed his nose. “If you knew anything about manners, love, you know that lip kisses aren’t chivalrous at all.”
Keefe turned his head and kissed his nose’s tip. “Don’t act like we haven’t gotten you out multiple ‘manner lessons’ or whatever your dad calls them, Fitzy.”
Sophie nodded in their peripherals.
Fitz laughed and made it to where the three of them stood in a line to start walking.
When they got to the library it was as good as empty. Even the little nook in the corner that students typically swarmed to was empty. Although that couch was incredibly soft, none of them trusted it enough to sit on.
So they wound up going to the third story where a green couch tucked itself behind a shelf of children’s books.
Sophie pretty much immediately flopped onto it. The material didn’t bend to their weight, but more fought against it. If they weren’t too tired to cry anymore, this couch would definitely set them off.
Fitz stood above their head and stared at them. “Can I braid your hair?”
Keefe immediately wrapped his arm around Fitz’s neck. “I don't even have to hear their answer. Sophie, that’s a horrible idea. Do not let him do it.”
Fitz pulled away and looked at Keefe. “Don’t give me that look, Fitzrory. You know damn well what happened the 17 times you tried to braid my hair when I grew it out. I taught you how each time, and yet with each braid it progressively got worse. Biana has tried to let you braid his hair, and that’s part of the reason it’s now in a pixie cut. No. You don’t get to ruin Sophie’s too.”
Sophie hated to admit it, but their hair being played with wouldn’t suck.
Keefe started to set their stuff on the coffee table in front of the couch. “Please don’t tell me you’re actually considering it.”
Sophie smiled a little at his annoyance.
“Sophie, if you want someone to play with your hair, I have an actual hair brush in my bag. And products that won’t poof it out in the process. There are better people *ahem* me *ahem* to do it than Fitz.”
“Don’t you have an entire set of makeup brushes in your bag too?” Fiz asked, fully facing him now. “And, like, actual makeup products in there too? Plus I thought I saw a full on blanket. How did you fit all that?”
“I always come prepared, Fitzy.” Keefe winked.
Sophie could feel Fitz heat up beside them. Keefe definitely noticed but continued anyway. “Besides, you never know when a girl is going to need a quick touch up. Plus the theater and the art teacher have a bunch of random connections, so they give us a bunch of surprise interviews. All the time. And we only get like a 5 minute warning before-hand. Plus One Act tech week starts tomorrow. Speaking of, hey, Soph, you wanna help me run lines for that?”
Sophie sat up a little and hit Keefe on the hand.
“First off, ow. Secondly, that wasn’t technically an answer.”
Sophie hit him again then mocked thinking for a second. They then grabbed Fitz’s waist and pulled him onto the couch with them.
Fitz shifted his weight to his elbows and grinned down at her. “Kiss?”
Sophie rolled their eyes at him and nodded.
It kind of tingled- although even before an autistic meltdown kissing was still, weird. They didn’t think they’d ever really get used to it, but Fitz liked it. Keefe did too.
And everything considered, this wasn’t the weirdest feeling Sophie had all day. So they kissed back.
They kind of liked it, too. But not enough to stay there.
Fitz tucked up to the corner of the couch and laid Sophie’s hair across his lap.
“I hate you. Both. Let the record show that.” Keefe said while sitting down and resting his head against Fitz’s legs.
Sophie lowered her hand to try and ruffle Keefe’s hair.
They dearly missed.
“Ow! Sophie, you made your point earlier. My pink hand can attest. I surrender! I don’t know why we’re still having this fight!!” He put his hands up.
Sophie grabbed one of them and held it so their hand could drop off the couch.
Fitz started off by finger brushing through each tangle. Then he started to twist each strand over the other.
None of it ever hurt. Sophie dozed off to it multiple times until Fitz pulled himself away to call their parents to make a plan for how to get home before the library closed in 15 minutes. (Keefe totally didn’t use that time to fix Sophie’s hair. They did have to admit, Fitz sucked at it.)
Fitz came back. His voice was deeper than normal due to tiredness. “So, ok, we’re going to use my car to drive us home. Sophie, Keefe, you two are going to be in the backseat, self explanatory as to why. I’m gonna drive us to Sophie’s house,,” Fitz paused, starting to lose his train of thought. “I think that’s also self-explanatory as to why . Um, we’re going to get dinner there. Keefe, you’re going to stay the night with Sophie, both Grady and Edaline are cool with that. Grady says he might have clothes for you to change into if you need it. I might crash there too, it just depends how tired I am.
“Tomorrow,” Fitz turned on his feet and pointed to Keefe, “You have an early morning because of One Act, so. Edaline or Grady, whoever wakes up first. said that they’d drive you back to school tomorrow morning. You can drive yourself back to them, Elwin, or my house; wherever you wanna crash, we’ll play that by ear tomorrow. Also, just leave your car in the student parking lot for tonight. If you get fined Elwin will pay for it so don’t sweat. Right now we just need to be getting home. I confirmed with all the adults: they’re cool with the plan. So, are we ok?” Fitz asked, looking between the two of them.
“Yea.” Keefe said while Sophie nodded. They started to stand up and pack up their stuff.
“Ok, good. Group hug? I frankly need one. And then I need to splash some cold water on my face if I’m going to drive for 30 minutes. Flower,” Fitz interrupted before they could speak. “Shush that protesting you’re about to do. I volunteered to do this. And I will be fine . I might need a hug. Maybe a kiss.”
Sophie and Keefe brought him into a double-sided hug and nuzzled at both sides of his neck.
Keefe kissed his cheek.
When the minutes of transitions passed, Sophie fell asleep on Keefe’s shoulder in the backseat.
While the midnight streets blurred together under an orange hue of the streetlights, Keefe held their head to keep the bumps from waking them up.
They got home, and Sophie zoned out through dinner and nearly fell asleep at the table. Next thing they knew they were tucking themselves into a comfortable spot on the couch and the clock read 11:03 pm.
Keefe was on the other couch sleeve, and Fitz was brushing his teeth in the guest bathroom. Keefe leaned into Sophie and kissed them in the dimmed lights of the living room.
It was weird still. Keefe’s lips were weird, His hair was really soft though. Sophie wouldn’t mind just running their fingers through that all day. Nor kissing Keefe all day.
They pulled apart and Fitz laid between them.
They tossed and turned all night trying to get comfortable, but Sophie really really liked being squished between them.
They really really liked them in general.
So they turned and kissed each of them on the cheek. Fitz turned and rested his hand around their waist, and Keefe reached his hand above their head to grab Fitz’s other hand.
And everything that worried the three of them hid away into where they were intertwined into the early hours of the morning.