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“Say, Squad Leader,” Hagiwara said. “Could it be that you have a crush on Furuya-chan?”
Taken by surprise, Hiro looked over. Zero next to him choked on his food and Date was visibly flustered, neither of which stopped Hagiwara from elaborating.
Hiro patted his coughing friend on the back and pondered the idea. Could it be, the Squad Leader and Zero? The idea made him a little jealous, even though he knew it was unreasonable. But even if Squad Leader had feelings for him, if Zero liked him back, he would have told Hiro, wouldn’t he? Plus, both of them seemed very surprised, so maybe Hagiwara was reading too much into it.
“It’s okay, you don’t need to hide it,” he continued and gave a thumbs up. “It doesn’t bother me.” For some reason, this made Matsuda snort loudly.
Hiro glanced at Zero, who looked exhausted from almost choking to death, but otherwise didn’t react much. He doesn’t take it seriously, he thought and weirdly, that both relieved and disappointed him a bit.
“Of course not!” Date exclaimed at this moment. “Besides, I have a girlfriend.”
Say what now?
This revelation, to Date’s disdain, shocked all of them far more than anything Hagiwara had said, and to Hiro, that was somehow reassuring.
***
The next day, he ran into Matsuda on his way to the Academy shop.
“Getting the yakisoba roll you promised Hagiwara?” he asked.
“Yeah, can’t be helped,” Matsuda replied.
“Then let me tag along, I wanted to get a snack anyway,” Hiro said.
“Sure.”
They chatted for a bit and when they arrived at the shop, Hiro remembered what he’d been meaning to ask about.
“Say, Matsuda,” he began, as they stood in front of the assorted pastries. “Do you remember what Hagiwara said at lunch yesterday?”
“‘Course,” he replied. “Though you shouldn’t take that too seriously. Squad Leader has a girlfriend, remember?”
“I know,” Hiro said. “What I wondered about is… You looked kind of unimpressed throughout most of the conversation, but then, when Hagiwara said something about Squad Leader not having to hide it because it didn’t bother him, you made a sort of snorting sound, like you didn’t believe him.”
“Oh, that,” Matsuda said. They proceeded to the cashier. “It’s not that I didn’t believe him. More like, I couldn’t believe he’d say it like that.” Hiro looked at him questioningly and he added, “I don’t mind telling you, but let’s find a quieter spot first, okay?”
Sitting down outside on the campus lawn, they unwrapped their respective snacks and Matsuda said, “I mean, the whole conversation was kind of silly, anyway, right? Entertaining though it was. Like, even if Squad Leader had a thing for Furuya, it’s not like he’d just announce that in front of everyone, right?” Hiro nodded. “And about the ‘not being bothered by it’ thing, well, how do I put this? I just thought that was rich coming from someone who spent the night in my bed.”
Now it was Hiro who choked on his food. “You and― you and Hagiwara are…?” he got out in between coughs. Matsuda patted his back.
“Yeah,” he said. “We don’t usually tell people or show it in public, because we don’t want to have to explain anything and frankly, it’s no one else’s business, but I don’t mind you knowing. Hagi wouldn’t, either, you’re one of our close friends, after all.”
“Thanks… for telling me,” he said, once his windpipe was cleared. “I guess your reaction makes sense then, with Hagiwara telling others to open up, when he never mentioned anything himself.”
“Yeah,” Matsuda said and shrugged. “Maybe he was hoping someone would ask him back.”
“So, all that flirting around with girls is just for show?” Hiro asked.
“No, that’s real. Hagi’s a flirt,” Matsuda clarified.
“But… aren’t you jealous?”
“Nah,” he replied. “I know that it’s not because he’s unhappy with me or anything. And it’s not like he’d mind me flirting with other people, either.”
“But then why be together at all?” Hiro asked and Matsuda looked at him like he had just said something stupid. Maybe he had.
“Because we love each other, why else,” he said, his cheeks turning light pink. “Don’t make me say it again.”
Hiro had never seen him flustered like that before. It was really cute. He nodded. “I guess I just never considered that it could be like that,” he said. “A relationship, I mean.”
“Yeah, you and most people. That’s why we’re not really open about it,” Matsuda said. “Well, that and obvious reasons.”
Hiro nodded.
“What about you then, Morofushi?”
“Hm?”
“You have a crush on Furuya, don’t you?” Matsuda teased.
“What?! I― I don’t know what you mean!” he spluttered, but his face turned red.
“Wouldn’t blame you, I have a crush on him, too,” Matsuda said nonchalantly, then winked. “What would you say, do I have a chance?”
“You already have Hagiwara!” Hiro blurted out.
Matsuda grinned. “I told you, we don’t really do the jealousy thing.”
Hiro looked away. He knew he shouldn’t mind any of this, but he could feel his cheeks flushing more and more. Okay, so maybe he did have a teeny-tiny crush on Zero. Maybe a big crush. So what?
A few moments passed and he looked back at Matsuda, who met his eyes. Apparently relieved that Hiro didn’t seem mad at him, he smiled brightly and Hiro smiled back.
“Hey, Matsuda,” he said eventually.
“Hm?”
“Wasn’t that yakisoba roll for Hagiwara?”
“Oh, shit,” Matsuda said, looking down at the now empty wrapper. He sighed. “Guess I’ll have to buy another one later… But let’s go back to the dorm for now, it’s not long until afternoon classes.”
“Ah, Morofushi-chan,” Hagiwara greeted when they ran into him at the dorm. “Jinpei-chan♪, did you bring the yakisoba roll you owe me?”
“Uhm,” Matsuda said.
“Huh?” Hagiwara replied. “You were gone for over half an hour and you didn’t even buy what you went to get?”
“I bought it, I just… I accidentally ate it, okay?” Matsuda said. “Blame Morofushi, he distracted me.”
“Excuses, excuses.”
“I’ll get you a new one, give me a break,” Matsuda pleaded and Hagiwara laughed.
Listening to their bickering made him smile.
In the hallway near his room, Hiro bumped into his best friend.
“There you are,” Zero said. “I was looking for you earlier.”
“Yeah, I went to the shop with Matsuda and we chatted for a bit,” Hiro replied and they entered his room so he could get his stuff for the afternoon lessons.
“Anything interesting happen?” Zero asked conversationally.
“Matsuda and Hagiwara are both queer and I think I might be, too,” he blurted out. “Melon roll?” he offered. “I bought a spare one.”
“Uh, thanks,” Zero said, accepting the roll. He was blushing a bit, Hiro saw out of the corner of his eyes. Not as much as he himself did, though. “That’s quite a statistical anomaly, then.”
“Hm?” Hiro asked, putting his school bag over one shoulder.
“Well, that means,” Zero said and averted his gaze, “that out of the five of us, four are queer, and that is assuming that the Squad Leader isn’t. That’s surprising, isn’t it? Statistically.”
Hiro nodded and stepped closer. “So you also…”
“‘Course,” Zero mumbled. He looked almost… “What? ” he said when Hiro giggled.
“Sorry, I just thought… you and Matsuda both look really cute when you’re embarrassed,” Hiro explained and Zero blushed even more.
“I could say the same about you, you know!” he replied indignantly, but Hiro just smiled at the compliment. Then, Zero slowly leaned in to whisper in his ear and Hiro startled a little when Zero’s cheek brushed against his. They’ve been friends forever, but since they got older, they haven’t been touching a lot. “Anyway, we should really go to class now, but I’d like to talk about all of this in more detail later,” he said.
“Me, too,” Hiro replied, wondering how the hell he was supposed to focus on class now.
***
In the evening, they sat together on the floor of Hiro’s room with their backs leaned against his bed, sharing the melon roll.
“What gave you the idea, all of a sudden?” Zero asked. “Don’t tell me Matsuda was your queer awakening?”
“That’s not it…” Hiro said. “I might―”, he began, trying to just get the words out, get it over and done with. “I might have a bit of a crush on you.” He kept his eyes firmly closed for a moment, his cheeks glowing. When he opened them again, Zero was leaning in, looking at him.
“Just a bit?” he asked with a teasing tone and smiled. Relieved, Hiro let out the breath he’d been holding.
“Maybe a lot,” he admitted. He was wondering how he could ask if Zero liked him back without sounding desperate, when Zero lay his hand on Hiro’s cheek, leaned in and pressed a small kiss to his lips. When he pulled back, he brushed his thumb over the corner of Hiro’s mouth, removing crumbs.
“Melon roll,” he said, licked his lips and took another bite of his half.
Hiro smiled. “You have a bit of custard on your face yourself, you know?” he said.
“I do?” Zero asked, surprised, and wiped his mouth with a tissue.
Hiro placed a kiss on his shoulder, then laid his head there.
“What’d you say to Matsuda to get him embarrassed, anyway?” Zero asked a while later.
“I made him say out loud that he loves Hagiwara,” Hiro said. “It was cute.”
“Huh. So they’re a couple?” Zero asked. “Not just… I don’t know, ‘friends with benefits’ or something?”
“Yeah, they’re a couple, but without jealousy, Matsuda said. Like, they can both flirt with other people,” Hiro explained. “He told me he has a crush on you, by the way.”
“Matsuda?”
“Yeah. He asked me if he’d have a chance with you.”
“Ha!” Zero said and looked away. If Hiro didn’t know him as well as he did, he wouldn’t have picked up on it, but…
“That look!” he said, more amused than concerned. “He would, wouldn’t he? Have a chance.”
“No, of course― It’s not― He’s not―” Zero spluttered, blushing, and Hiro laughed. “Fine,” he said. “I like him, okay? But… he’s not like you,” Zero said and looked into his eyes, as he slowly took his hand. He leaned in closer and Hiro did, too. “He’s not you,” Zero whispered earnestly and then he kissed him. Hiro returned the kiss and brought up his free hand to caress Zero’s cheek. One kiss turned into two, turned into many.
Hiro understood it better now, he thought, the whole ‘no jealousy’ thing. He noticed that he didn’t mind if Matsuda and Zero liked each other. He loved Zero and Zero loved him back, that was all that mattered. Even if Matsuda and Zero kissed, that would probably even be kind of cute, he thought. For one cursed moment, he imagined a scene of them together, with Hagiwara and him on the sidelines, eating popcorn. Okay, maybe that took it a bit too far.