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Hogwarts castle was Albus Dumbledores safe place. In here, he wasn’t plagued with memory every turn he took. He wasn’t afraid to see someone he didn’t want to see. Yes, he was shut off and secluded, but it was only for the best.
So when he had to leave his haven, he liked to do it on his own terms, not because the prime minister had requested him on Christmas morning 1925. He so would have liked to decline his help, but the minister had said it was important. And Albus, as always, just couldn’t get rid of this guilt in the back of his mind that he had to help.
He walked through the unusual empty streets of London. Lights shone in the windows and happy families with presents could be seen while walking by. It felt incredibly lonely. Even lonelier than normal. He thought of Christmas 1899. With a shake to his head, Albus turned away and started walking towards a signature red phone booth.
When he entered the prime ministers office, another person was already present.
„Ah, here he is, Albus Dumbledore, teacher at our Hogwarts school for witches and wizards.“
„I have heard of Hogwarts, yes“ ,said the man the prime minister had spoken to.
Strangely, Albus detected a slight accent to his words, maybe Russian or German, even though the man looked like neither. He had short brown hair, dark eyes and was wearing a blue and black suit combination. Albus forced a smile and stuck out his hand in greeting. He hadn’t expected to meet anyone besides the minister and was incredibly not in the mood.
„Pleasure to make your acquaintance. You are?“
The man gripped his hand with surprising gentleness and shook it. „Percival Graves, auror of MACUSA, I’m here on behalf of our president.“
So an American, interesting. He had heard of the name Graves. If the American Government bothered to send one as famous as him all the way here, something must be going on. As Albus was musing over what this could mean he realized that Graves was still holding his hand. When his eyes flickered towards their hands, so did Graves‘ and a moment later he was released.
„Very well“, the minister said. „Now that this is out of the way you should be going.“
„Going where?“, Albus asked, more than a bit confused.
„You’re prime minister“, Graves inclined his head, „promised to show me around London.“
„Yes exactly, but since I have on awful lot to do and my wife is already complaining, I thought you could handle this?“
Albus wondered if anyone would suspect him if the prime minister suddenly went missing, never to be seen again. The audacity some people had. A stupid, narrow-minded man got elected once, with his help nonetheless, and he thought he ruled the world. And Dumbledore actually came to his bidding.
„Yes“, he said, as restrained and calm as he could in front of Graves. „Will you give us one moment?“
Graves nodded and as soon as the door had closed behind him, Dumbledore dropped his smile.
„If I have ever given the impression that I want to be a tourist guide, please do tell me when.“
The minister didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. „This is important Dumbledore. The situation with Germany is still critical. Should another war break loose, we would need their support. Otherwise, I don’t want to imagine what will happen.“
„You don’t need to lecture me on politics, thank you. But let it be known that I am solely doing this for the purpose of the greater…to help alliances.“
With a sharp look, he turned and walked out of the door.
*
„You seem disgruntled“, Graves noted.
They sat in the only café open on Christmas morning at 9 a.m., a tiny tea shop in a secluded alley.
„My apologies, Mr Graves, I do seem..“
„Oh, there’s no need for formalities, you can call me Percival“, he smiled slyly while taking another sip of his black coffee.
Albus himself took his green tea to his lips before he continued talking. „Very well, call me Albus. It is just that the prime minister and I don’t see eye to eye very often.“
„I do wonder, if I’m not to forward“, Percival asked while laying his hand on the table, „why he is currently minister when you are the much more obvious choice. Not only to me, as it seems, but also to the news articles I have read.“
Albus chuckled. People did like to ask him that question. Normally, he answered always the same, that he enjoyed teaching too much. And he certainly did, but that wasn’t the whole of it. Something about Percival seemed to change his mind, since he answered different than usual.
„Some people are destined for greatness while others are not“, he simply said.
He saw the other man incline his head. „And Albus Dumbledore is not destined for it? One of the greatest wizards seen in centuries? Are you not destined for greatness or do you not want to be?“
Well, that had hit a bit too close to home.
„I also enjoy teaching too much to give it up“, he evaded right back into his standard answer. Thankfully, Graves seemed to accept the change in topic.
Over the next few hours, they talked more than Albus probably had talked in a year outside of classes. He was fairly impressed by Percival Graves intellect. The man was very intelligent, well-read and could keep up with Albus like few, if even any people could. So the mental pull he felt towards him also became a physical one. While at first, Albus hadn’t really cared about Graves‘ looks, it was apparent that he was conventionally attractive. Both these things, combined with the slight flirting undertone he spoke in made Albus attracted to him when he hadn’t been interested in anyone for a long time.
They probably would have sat there forever if Graves hadn’t asked:
„When are you going to show me this school of yours?“
Albus hadn’t be planning on it, but since everybody was on holidays anyway, he didn’t see the harm in it.
They apparated outside the castle grounds and started to walk up the path where the carriages usually drove. Albus had figured out how to apparate into the castle several years ago. But one, he didn’t want to give this information away and two, he enjoyed talking to Graves too much and didn’t want to shorten their time together.
Graves seemed weirdly interested in all aspects of the castle and Dumbledores job. While they were wandering through the empty halls, they continued their earlier discussions. That was, until they were suddenly in a very familiar room.
„…and that is why rabbits could never be a substitute for moon maps.“
Albus had been so occupied with telling a joke about the astronomy tower that he hadn’t noticed where they were headed. As Graves laughed at the joke, Albus saw the mirror behind them. Percival turned with him.
„And this may be?“
Dumbledore tried to sound casual while he explained. „The mirror of erised. Surely you understand the simple word play. It is supposed to show us only our deepest and truest desire.“
Percival nodded. Then he walked closer, gazing into the mirror, waiting for something to happen. A moment later, his eyes grew bigger and there was a sort of hunger in them. Albus didn’t know if he quite liked that expression. He wondered why it seemed so uneasy. But Graves was now looking at him, and maybe he had seen Albus doubtful look, because a second later he was standing a lot closer to Albus than normal.
Albus tried none the less. „What do you see in the mirro-…“
Before he had even finished his sentence, Graves lips were on his. I guess we won’t talk, he mused. Not like he was complaining or anything. While they kissed, Percival pushed him against the wall opposite of the mirror. Albus shortly opened his eyes to stare straight into his own face in the mirror. Quickly, he looked away.
Who even cares about apparation rules, he thought, and the next moment, he had apparated them into his room. While they undressed and fell into bed together, Albus noticed that Percival had a sort of possessiveness to him that he did not mind at all. Albus just shut off his brain, melted under his touch and yielded.
*
Albus had expected the man to leave after that. To his surprise, he didn’t. He had disclosed that he would be in England for a few more days and asked if he could stay with Albus.
„Gladly“, Albus smiled.
These holidays had turned out to be funnier and warmer than he would’ve thought. They talked, they debated, they had sex, they talked some more. It was like they had created their own tiny world and life inside a time lapse that only lasted so long. With all his might, Dumbledore tried to keep their bubble intact, because he knew, the instant something scratched on their very thin surface, everything would burst up in flames. But alas, the combination of hope and foolishness held longer than he would have expected.
It was the morning of Percival‘s departure, and Albus felt the walls crumbling, the doubts crawling back into his mind. He looked at Percival who was standing at the tiny kitchen counter Albus had magiced for himself since he liked to cook.
Eggs were sizzling in a pan while Percival, very clumsily, tried to flip them the muggle way with a spatula. Albus laughed and joined him. Together, their hands over each other, they managed to at least flip one half before the whole thing collapsed. Percival looked at him with a smile.
„You know, we don’t have to stop. America isn’t that far away and with magical travel means, it should be easy to see each other again.“
Albus looked sad and shook his head. „I don’t think that’s a good idea.“
„Why not? Surely you have enjoyed our time together as much as I have.“
„Yes, but I don’t see any future with you, Mr Grave.“ Albus stared him down, putting great emphasis on his name.
„I, for my part, actually see a great deal of future endeavors. The things we could achieve together, could-“
„Gellert stop!“ It had just slipped out, and Gellert was standing there, lost for words.
„What exactly is your plan here? To get to know me again? To convince me to join you? Through pretending to be someone else for several weeks, months, maybe years?“
Albus sadly shook his head. „How much of a fool do you think I am?“
And he reached out with his hand and lifted the magic that had been disguising Gellert Grindelwald. It was a still a shock to see him in person after so many years. The boy he knew had faded away behind more angular features, but he was still as beautiful as ever.
„Since when did you suspect it was me?“
Albus sighed. „I made an educated guess in the café, I knew for sure once we had looked into the mirror of erised. It doesn’t lie, and I saw you morphing from Graves to you instead of Graves vanishing and being replaced by you. Apart from that, literally everything gave you away. Your slight accent, how you speak with your hands, how you think, how you sleep. I know you.“
„So you knew from the start? And you didn’t say? Why?“
„Everybody makes mistakes.“ Albus said dismissively. „Why. Are. You. Here?“
Gellert seemed to gain some of his confidence back that he had lost at the reveal. „Join me Albus. We could do great things. Together. You were alone on Christmas and so was I. It doesn’t have to be this way. Do you remember our Christmas? How it felt to not be alone?“
Albus just shook his head, but he didn’t have the energy or will to move away when Gellert stepped closer. „We didn’t have a Christmas together. You left that summer, and you never came back.“
Gellert leaned over and Albus closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at him.
„Tell yourself that“, Gellert whispered into his ear and the hairs at his neck stood up.
„Tell yourself that I didn’t come back to you on Christmas Eve 1899. Tell yourself you didn’t love me, after all that had happened. Tell yourself you didn’t just spend days with me once again even though you knew who I was. If it makes it easier for you, live in denial forever. But I know what happened, I’ll face the truth for both of us.“
Albus just stood there and tried not to see, to feel, to hear, to breathe. Of course, he failed, and breathed in the scent of Grindelwald he grew accustomed to in the last days. And when Gellert slowly joined their lips, he didn’t move away.
Strangely, now that they both knew who they were, they weren’t as hungry for each other as they had been before. Instead, the kiss was slow, deliberate and almost filled with something like love. A tear escaped Albus eye and slowly ran downwards.
When they pulled away, Gellert was the one to continue talking. „Join me, please. I‘ve missed you. I…I love you.“
But Albus only shook his head again, more and more tears running down his face.
„You don’t love me“, he gasped. „You destroyed everything I had and left. You want someone for your movement Gellert, for your cause. You love the idea of it. But it isn’t me. And it won’t be.“
„That’s not true.“ Gellert seemed furious. „You were the only person that I..“ he swallowed, „that I ever cared about. Everyone but you, I couldn’t care less. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is. Why has love to be all innocence and flowers. I love you in my way!“
He seemed to grow more franctic, restless and angry by the second. „You were right, Albus Dumbledore isn’t destined for greatness. But you and I, we were. We stood in the stars and I saw what we could have become. Instead, you chose loneliness. Not only for you“, he pointed his finger accusingly at Albus, „but also for me.“ He turned his finger in towards his own heart.
„No, you did that yourself. Gellert just…please stop the violence. Maybe you…we could do it with out. Why does it need to end in bloodshed?“
„It is for the greater good! I’m not enjoying the killing, but it is necessary!“
„It is not, and don’t use that phrase on me. These were my words and you stole them for your twisted purpose!“
„I didn’t steal those words, you gifted them to me! And how am I any worse than you? You always act for the greater good. You act for yours, and I act for mine. There is no difference!“
„I don’t kill people, Gellert!“
They were both breathing heavily and staring at each other. Amidst the turmoil, they had completely forgotten the eggs which now were completely black and started to smoke. Albus vanished them with a hand wave and wearily sat on the bed.
Defeated, he started to speak again.
„I know why you’re here. And before you ask, yes, it’s still intact.“ He shook his head and brought a hand into the air. A moment later, their blood pact shimmered in his hand.
„Why didn’t you destroy it?“
„I couldn’t.“
„Magically or emotionally?“
„I think you know.“
*
When Albus woke up the next morning, the bed beside him was empty. And with Gellert gone, so was the blood pact. He hadn’t expected anything less. He wondered, for a moment, if he should regret yesterday. That he had given Gellert the blood pact willingly. That he had slept with him again, despite it all. And that he had purposely let him leave, notifying no authority what so ever.
Deep down, he was glad about all of it. The blood pact no longer in his possession was a relief. He allowed himself one moment to try and process his emotions. His anger, his sadness, and after all, even his love.
Then he stood up, got dressed, tucked the last week of memories into his too full mind cabinet about things he wanted to forget, and went about his life again.
Because denial inevitably was easier. And not even he himself wanted to know the Secrets of Dumbledore.