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It happened so quickly.
They had been surrounded by inky black darkness for so long; left alone at times, and other times mocked and brutalized by the thing wearing Meg’s shape. It seemed to drag on forever.
Neither of them knew how long they had been in the Empty. They would huddle together in the gloomy shadows, waiting for the interruption that always, always came. They whispered long held secrets, held each other, and occasionally got brave enough to make out a little when The Shadow seemed to have forgotten about them for a while.
They were there, and they were there, and they were there.
But then they weren’t.
Castiel hit the ground with a thud, his breath forced out of his lungs on impact. His mouth was so dry. He needed water. But first–
“Cas?”
He turned toward the source of the voice with a grateful smile. At least they had landed near each other, and Dean’s voice sounded a bit rough, but he was alive.
They were alive. Again.
***
“Can’t believe the friggin’ Empty sent me down here without clothes,” Dean complained as they trudged through the field they had found themselves in. Cas’s borrowed trench coat hung from shoulders, tied loosely at the waist. Dean could tell by the breeze that his junk was still hanging out for all to see, if anyone were actually around. Rolling his eyes, he readjusted the trench and kept moving. “How come YOU got to have clothes?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because your body was gone. Mine went with me to the Empty, clothes and all.”
“Did it send you back in your birthday suit last time it kicked you out?”
Cas stopped, puzzled. “Well, no.” He shrugged. “Alright, I have no explanation.”
“It just likes fuckin’ with me,” Dean grumped, and promptly tripped. “Ow! Ow ow ow ow ow–damn rock.”
Cas watched amusedly as Dean danced-hopped on one foot as the pain subsided. “Do you want my shoes?”
“No man, you need those.” An idea occurred to him. “Hey, you didn’t happen to have your wallet on you when the Empty took you, did you?”
Cas patted his back pocket, feeling the familiar, rectangular bulge of leather and nodded affirmatively.
“Awesome. So we’ll get to civilization, find an ATM, see if your card still works and go from there.”
***
“How much did you get?”
Dean was crouched behind some bushes, hoping like hell no one would walk by to see the weird guy wearing nothing but a trench coat. Luckily it was starting to get dark by now, but he just got back; he didn’t need to be arrested for flashing anyone, thanks.
“As much as it would let me. Five hundred.”
“That should do. You get a receipt?”
Cas hesitated. “Yeah.”
“What? Cas, what? What’s the date?”
“May fifteenth. 2025.”
“Twenty FIVE? Shit. Four, almost five years. We’ve been gone four and a half years, Cas.”
Cas swallowed, bone dry. “You need clothes. And we both need water. I saw a sign for Dollar General a little further up the road. It’s after eight, I should hurry while they’re still open. Just–stay here, Dean.”
“Where’m I gonna go?” he sniped.
Cas raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re grumpy when you’re naked.”
Dean raised an eyebrow right back. “Not always.”
Cas blushed and looked away quickly, though he was smiling. “Clothes and water. And we should find a way to try and call Sam.”
“Or…we don’t,” Dean said thoughtfully. At Cas’s shocked reaction, Dean added, “Yet. Cas–all that time in that place, we never got to be alone.”
Cas’s eyebrows were scrunched in confusion. “We were alone almost the whole time.”
“Not really man, that thing popping in to crash the party any time we–-before we–you know, could really be ALONE.”
“You mean sex.”
Dean’s eye roll was nearly audible. “Yes, Cas. Sex. I mean, we talked about what we’d like to do, but…”
Cas swallowed hard as Dean trailed off. Oh, they had talked about it. A LOT. “I also saw a sign for Motel 6, several blocks down,” he said in a low voice. Not low enough to be suggestive, more as if there were a child nearby whose ears needed to be shielded from his words.
Dean smirked. “Hey Cas.”
“Yeah?”
“Go buy me some clothes so you can take ‘em off me later.”
***
Dollar General didn’t have jeans or flannel, so Dean was stuck with a pair of dark gray sweats and a plain olive green t-shirt that Castiel had thought would go well with Dean’s eyes, along with an off-brand pair of sneakers that rubbed at his pinky toes.
An hour later, they were walking the aisles at Target to pick up some extra snacks and a bottle of lube, though neither had actually mentioned the lube aloud. Cas had simply followed Dean to the pharmacy area and watched him toss the bottle into the basket, his skin tingling.in anticipation and wonderment. This was real. They were back, and they were going to get to live a life. Together.
They had realized by then that the Empty had tossed them out in South Dakota, just a couple hours away from Sioux Falls if they found a car or called Jody and asked for a lift.
They nixed the second idea pretty quickly. Neither of them liked the idea of Jody or one of the girls spending two hours in the car wondering if they were headed for some kind of trap. Better to politely knock and allow Jody whatever tests she wanted to run on them to make sure they were actually themselves, and have a happy reunion without all the stress.
But first–they needed food, beverage, and sleep. And hopefully some nookie at the Motel 6 across the street.
***
For all the build up beforehand–or maybe because of it–things were awkward as hell once they stepped inside their motel room. They gave each other shy smiles as they emptied their shopping bags onto the dresser and Cas opened a bottle of water, though he’d already had two.
Dean finally broke the silence as he sat on the corner of the bed so he could pull off the offensive, ill-fitting shoes from the dollar store. “I can’t believe we’re here.”
“Here, Earth? Or here,” Cas glanced around their room with its yellow walls and generic paintings, “Here.”
“Both.”
Cas thought for a moment. “I’m surprised you didn’t want to go straight to Sam. Sex notwithstanding.”
Dean grinned briefly. “Oh, I meant what I said. Want some time with you.” That wasn’t all there was to it though, Castiel was sure. But he knew Dean well enough to know he needed to give him a moment to gather his thoughts.
After a bit, Dean continued. “I’m sure he’s okay. I’m hoping–” He paused for a moment. “I’m hoping he’s got a good life going. But if he does. Well, we’re just an interruption, aren’t we?” He chuckled, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“One he’ll gladly entertain, I’m sure. Dean, if you think he’ll be anything but thrilled to have you back–”
“It’s not that,” Dean brushed off the thought. “Sam and I had a pretty messed up thing going. Hell you know that better’n anybody. When…when that vamp got me and I realized I was done–I wanted Sam to move on. Have a life, you know? Since I couldn’t. Especially since I couldn’t. Then spendin’ all that time with you, made me realize…This–this could be a second chance to do things right with him, Cas. Be his brother. Not his–his parent, or his–his other half. I don’t want to screw it up.”
Cas moved to sit gently next to him, sides touching. He wasn’t quite sure what to say–he understood what Dean meant. He had wondered before, if he and Dean could have worked things out sooner were it not for Sam’s proximity, but then he felt horrible for even thinking it. He loved Sam, of course he loved Sam. He couldn’t begrudge the brothers their relationship after they’d been through so much.
So he said nothing. Instead, he lightly ran a hand across Dean’s back until it reached his opposite shoulder in an attempt to pull Dean even closer. Dean gave in right away, turning his head to nuzzle into the space between Cas’s shoulder and his neck.
“I‘m dyin’ to see him, Cas,” Dean mumbled. “Maybe without Chuck, we could–maybe things can be different. But if it’s not…I don’t want to keep him from whatever life he has now.”
“You’ll never know until you actually talk to him.”
“I will. After Jody.”
“Okay.”
“Hey Cas?”
“Mmhm?”
“You’re my other half.”
Cas pulled away slightly, his expression and voice soft. “Dean.”
“That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Right?”
“And since when have you ever done what you’re supposed to do?” Cas reminded him.
“Yeah, yeah. I just mean–most people, they grow up, leave their family, and they find their person. You know? The one they choose to be with. Make a new family. Sam and I never really got to do that, but–I found you anyway. Or, technically, you found me. You’re…you know. My person.”
“It doesn’t have to be either/or.”
“Right. Took me going to the Empty to see that, but–yeah. I can be Sammy’s brother and still be your–” Boyfriend? Lover? Ugh, no. “Yours.”
A small part of Cas was relieved to hear it. The rest of him had already known it, had figured it out when Dean had arrived in the Empty, his soul too restless without Cas in his life to do anything but follow him in death.
“Cas–”
“I love you so much.”
Dean sat up, his eyes sparkling as a smile spread across his face. “Love you too. You wanna deal with everyone else tomorrow, and move on to uh, other things for now?” He nodded at their purchases laid out on the dresser across the room.
“Beef jerky?” Cas feigned innocence. At Dean’s reaction, he continued. “Gummy bears? Oh. Pringles.”
Dean refused to play along; he stood up and grabbed the bottle of lube from the dresser, where it sat next to the pile of snacks. “Or I was thinking you could fuck me. Or I could fuck you. I know we talked about trying it both ways, but we can’t really do both at once, so we’re gonna have to choose.”
Cas leaned back on the bed, the weight of his upper body resting on his elbows, and decided to match Dean’s bluntness with his own. He was sure the look on Dean’s face would be worth it. “I think,” he said slowly, “I’d like to experience both, but for tonight–I want to know what it feels like to have you inside me.”
“You–”
“Fuck me, Dean.”
Dean made a noise he didn’t know he was capable of making, somewhere between choking and attempting to blow his brain out through his nose. He tried to stay cool about it, but this was Cas.
On the other hand, this was CAS. After their years together in The Empty, they were closer than ever. They had talked about this. More than once.
At the time, though, they had no chance of actually putting it into practice, and didn’t know if they ever would. The kisses they’d shared had never lasted as long as they wanted, because they were constantly having to watch over each other’s shoulders, waiting for their captor to arrive and begin the torture.
Finally Dean managed to pull himself together and grinned cheekily despite the deep blush on his face. “We can do that. But afterward I get to be the little spoon.”
***
The following afternoon, Dean found an old clunker to hot wire. They abandoned it just outside of Sioux Falls and traveled the rest of the way on foot. As they walked, they talked about who they might find at Jody’s–wondering if the girls had moved on, or if they all still lived there.
“Who else do you want to see? After Sam.”
“Everybody,” Dean grinned. “Donna. Max. Charlie and Stevie. Bobby. Garth. Bet his kids are getting big. Maybe him and Bess had another one by now.” He nudged Cas with his shoulder. “What about you?”
Cas shook his head. “You’ve already mentioned everyone I know. And some people I don’t.”
“Well, we’ll have to fix that, then.”
Jody’s house still looked the same, her car visible from the road. She was home. But Dean had a faraway look in his eyes; Castiel could tell something was on his mind other than seeing their friends again.
Cas squeezed Dean’s hand and asked him what he was thinking. Dean blushed a little. Busted. He squeezed back, but remained quiet during the trek through Jody’s yard.
As they climbed the stairs to the front porch, Dean gathered his courage and leaned into Cas’s space, running his hand down Cas’s side, making him shiver. “Was actually thinkin’ about last night. Next time I’m gonna ride you like a bronco.” He considered for a moment, and a picture formed in his mind. “I should get a hat.”
Then he quickly pounded on Jody’s door, not giving Cas time to respond, a grin plastered across his own face. A flustered Cas would be a fun Cas.
***
It turned out Jody was alone; Alex and Patience lived nearby, but had both moved out permanently the year before. Claire and Kaia spent most of their time on the road.
Despite her initial shock, Jody managed to be Jody and pull herself together quickly. She performed all the necessary tests to be sure Dean and Cas were human and themselves, and offered to order some food.
Pizzas ordered, she tossed each guy a beer and sat across from them at the dining table, sipping a glass of wine. “Sam must be beside himself. He on his way here?”
Dean and Cas glanced at each other uncomfortably. “I uh…” Dean cleared his throat. “Sam doesn’t know yet.”
Jody raised her eyebrows at that little tidbit. “You came to me first?”
“To be fair, geographically you were the closest,” Castiel said.
“Uh huh. Dean. Why haven’t you called Sam?”
“Didn’t think he’d believe it was really us over the phone, you know? Thought maybe once we convinced YOU…”
“You want me to call him,” she finished for him.
“He might take it better that way, yeah.” Dean cleared his throat. “If you don’t mind. How uh–how’s he doing?”
Jody pursed her lips, unsure of what, or how much, to say. It wasn’t really her place. Sam hadn’t handled Dean’s death well, of course. There had been a lot of alcohol and anger at his brother for being a "suicidal son of a bitch", a lot of blaming himself for not calling an ambulance. Eventually though, he had tried to move on in his own way. And now, there was a baby coming. “He was doing alright, last I spoke to him. He and Eileen have a place in Lincoln.”
“Lincoln. With Eileen. That--that's awesome," he grinned. "So, they could be here in what, three, three and a half hours.”
“Once they get on the road, yeah,” Jody agreed neutrally.
“What is it, Jody?”
“Nothing, no. I uh–it’s none of my business. I’m just, you know. I’m surprised you didn’t go to him first. Geography or not.”
“Dean is afraid our arrival will disrupt Sam’s life.”
Dean smiled at Jody, a little uncomfortably. “Decided to let him have one more day of normal. Disrupt your life instead.” After a moment, he added, “You know, when I was dying in that barn–they say your life flashes in front of your eyes, but all I saw was Sam. Married. Happy, you know? A kid. Getting old. All of us together in Heaven again one day.” He shrugged. “But then I woke up right outside the Empty.”
“Why did you go to the Empty? Isn’t that supposed to be just for angels and demons?”
Dean fiddled with the sticker on his beer bottle, eyes downcast. Cas answered for him. “We thought it was Billie–Death. At one point, she had threatened to send both Dean and Sam there in the event of their deaths. But when Dean died, Billie was already gone. And the entity that controls the Empty insisted Dean’s soul went there on its own. That it could feel him outside the walls, searching for a way in.”
“And you think it was telling the truth?”
Dean finally spoke up. “Like I said, I woke up right outside the Empty. Didn’t remember getting there, just knew that I–I was getting close to Cas. And I knew–I was there ‘cause that’s where I wanted to be. Eventually it got tired of me pokin’ around, so it let me in.”
“Hm.” Jody studied Dean's face; he looked slightly embarrassed at the admission. She glanced at Cas, who was wearing a small but affectionate smile as he looked nowhere but at Dean. “I think I see.”
She paused, letting the moment pass on its own before continuing. “So why did it let you out?”
“Not sure. I think it’s because we were the only ones still awake. Not sure how much Sam told you, but when we were fighting Chuck, Billie basically sent a bomb in there. That bomb being Jack.” Off her look, Dean waved his hand. “Long story. A lot of angels and demons woke up.”
“The entity doesn’t like being awake,” Cas further explained.
Dean nodded. “Eventually, it was able to torture them all back into nightmareland, except us.”
“Wait, why?”
“It said something about human souls being a pain in the ass. On Earth, human souls need sleep. But in the afterlife, they only sleep if they want to. Angels and demons are the opposite.”
“By the time I went to the Empty, I was practically human, I had so little grace left,” Cas added. “I’m pretty sure there’s a soul in here somewhere. Metatron and the Empty both thought so. And it explains why Jack was able to wake me the last time I was there.”
Jody scrubbed a hand over her face. “Okay, you guys are sooo talking above my paygrade right now. So it–resurrected you both…because you were awake?”
“Awake, and annoying. Apparently.”
“Well.” Jody lifted her wine glass in a toast. “Here’s to being awake and annoying.”
They clinked their bottles with her glass and began to plan what to say to Sam.
***
After a while, they finally decided Jody would Facetime Sam, handing the phone to Dean after explaining everything to him. The ball would be in Sam’s court from there.
So Dean and Cas couldn’t see Sam’s face turn ashen at the news that his brother had been in the Empty all this time and was now back on Earth, but Jody did. She stepped into the kitchen to calmly inform him that she had performed every test possible, and Dean and Cas were really back.
Dean and Cas glanced at each other where they were seated on the couch, and gave Jody a moment.
When Jody finally returned to hand Dean the phone, he took one look and was immediately taken aback.
The years had not been particularly kind to Sam. His hair was starting to gray and new lines had formed on his face, which was now sporting a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. Forty two, Dean thought. Sam just turned forty two.
He looked older than that.
Underneath it all though, there was a hopeful look in Sam’s eyes. The same eyes that Sam had used against Dean all his life to make his big brother give in.
Dean grinned in relief. His brother was okay; all was right with the world, for now.
“Hiya, Sammy.”
***