Work Text:
1.
“Innie, can you do something for me?”
Jeongin doesn’t take his eyes off of his paper, and hums in agreement at the sound of Felix’s voice. He doesn’t even really hear the question. The lab he’s working on is due tomorrow, and if he doesn’t finish in the next hour while he’s still buzzing on adrenaline from the third Monster he’s had today, he’ll never get it done.
The letters and questions are spiraling all over the paper. At this point, he barely even registers what he’s writing anymore. “Yeah, what’s up.”
“Come over here,” Felix says, the sound of something dropping to the floor followed by a quiet curse.
“Can it wait like, two minutes?”
“It’ll be super quick!” Jeongin can already hear the whine bleeding into his best friend’s tone. “Please?” Felix drags out the end of the word until Jeongin caves in with a sigh, turning around in his chair and fixing his eyes to Felix who is already smiling at the sight of Jeongin accepting.
“Okay, what is it?”
Felix emits a small noise of delight and motions Jeongin over to the other side of his dorm room with a small excited hand.
“Just stand still for a second, I need to see if this is the right measurement.”
Jeongin nods, not sure what he’s even saying yes to. The caffeine high is starting to wear off and he can feel himself about to crash, his brain fading out around the edges. Felix hums while he finishes seaming up whatever it is he’s working on. Jeongin knows Felix has been in a textile course this semester, trying out different mediums for his class projects, and he’s taken a big liking to making things from yarn. He’s gone with Felix to the craft store on more than one occasion during the last few weekends during their days out, watching Felix pick up cluster after cluster of bright colored yarn and sharp straight needles.
He feels Felix’s hands connect with his collarbone over his shirt as he holds something up to Jeongin’s body and – woah. Jeongin blinks a few times to make sure he’s not hallucinating all of the colors that are swimming in his line of vision right now, hoping that he didn’t pick up an expired can of something at the corner store off campus; but the colors are very much real, very much in front of his face, and very much ugly.
“Hm,” Felix hums thoughtfully. “Yeah, this looks good.”
Jeongin isn’t sure what he means. The sweater looks good? The color choice? Both seem pretty unlikely, in Jeongin’s opinion.
“Can you put it on for me real quick?” Felix bats his eyelashes at Jeongin, exaggerated and cheesy, and Jeongin slips it on without hesitation. As if Felix even needed to butter Jeongin up about it. He’d do anything Felix asked. If Jisung were here, he’d say it’s because Jeongin is a stupid lovesick puppy, or something dumb like that. He’s glad Jisung is not here.
Felix frets over him and adjusts the garment to his body, even though nothing feels quite right, at least to Jeongin; the fit is slightly off, but not in a way that he can place, and he’s pretty sure there’s a hole in the left sleeve near the cuff. Felix tuts and tucks it in a little at Jeongin’s waist into the band of his jeans. He steps back to admire his work. It’s definitely cozy, if that’s what Felix was aiming for. So much so that Jeongin feels his body start to heat up, like he might start sweating in it.
“Is it alright?”
Felix is quiet for a moment before nodding in approval. “It looks great! It fits you really well.” Jeongin doesn’t have the heart to tell Felix he’s not really in agreement, but he keeps his mouth shut. “You should keep it. I think it’ll go nice with that green coat you have.”
He pauses. “Oh, you–” Jeongin laughs nervously. “You want me to have it?”
Felix’s smile dims minutely, and Jeongin wants to punch himself in the face already. “Oh, well, you don't have to take it if you really don’t want to.”
“I do!” Jeongin quickly amends. He takes the sweater out of Felix’s hands and holds it close to his chest, hoping the smile he gives is reassuring and gentle. “I’ll wear it tomorrow, promise. Thank you for giving me the gift, I love it.”
It’s not a sweater he would’ve made for himself if he had the ability; it’s not even something he’d look twice at willingly if it were anywhere else, but – it’s something Felix had worked on, made with his own two lovely hands, and didn’t even keep it for himself because he wanted Jeongin to have it. His heart warms at the thought and hopes his cheeks aren’t following suit and getting pink when Felix lays his hands on top of Jeongin’s larger ones, giving him a big smile.
“You’re welcome, Innie.”
-
Jeongin gets the dirtiest look from Hyunjin the next morning when he gets dressed, pulling the sweater Felix gave him over his head and ruffling his hair. Hyunjin keeps quiet though, not usually one to comment on Jeongin’s fashion choices, but Jeongin can tell he’s itching to make a comment. Or maybe he’s just projecting, thinking about the uncomfortable feeling of the wool yarn against his body.
When he looks in the mirror his mind goes completely blank, and god, he didn’t think he’d ever see himself in something so garish. But Jeongin wants to be a good friend, and wants to wear Felix’s project proudly, so he doesn’t take it off as much as his instincts are telling him to. He does his best to try to match the rest of his outfit around it, finding suitable sneakers and a bag to take for the day.
“Take a jacket,” Hyunjin tells him before he leaves. Jeongin frowns.
“It’s not supposed to be that cold today.”
“I meant so that you could cover up that fugly sweater you’re wearing,” Hyunjin explains, reaching into Jeongin’s closet and throwing him the first thing he catches onto. “And please put it on. Like, now. My eyes are about to melt out of my skull.”
Jeongin leaves his dorm with a huff and heads across campus to meet Jisung at the library before their classes for coffee, ordering his usual and ignoring the odd looks from the cashier when he takes back his change. He takes their normal table by the window and shrugs off his jacket, pulling out his textbook to take a few extra notes before the lecture. He enjoys the silence for exactly three minutes before he hears Jisung coming up to their table.
“Hey,” Jeongin greets without looking up, keeping his eyes on his book and scribbling something down onto a sticky note. Jisung doesn’t say anything and doesn’t sit either; Jeongin raises his head to meet his friend’s baffled expression, and says, “what the hell is wrong with you?”
“Uh, Jeongin?” Jisung starts, not taking his eyes off of Jeongin’s torso as he sits, “I mean this in the most respectful way possible.” He pauses, and gives Jeongin another once over. “Actually, I mean it disrespectfully. What the absolute fuck are you wearing?”
Jeongin turns his head around their table, making sure Felix isn’t anywhere in close sight, before turning back to Jisung with a seething glare. “Keep your voice down!” He hisses through his teeth, sitting down and putting his denim jacket back on to at least hide the back view of his sweater. When he finishes shrugging it on Jisung leans over the table and buttons it for him up to his neck to cover the rest. “Felix made it for me.”
Jisung blinks. “And you didn’t tell him it was the most hideous thing you’ve ever seen?”
“Are you an idiot?” Jeongin bats Jisung’s hands away. “Yeah, actually don’t answer that.”
“Shut up.”
“If Felix gave you a gift, would you tell him it was ugly and you hated it?”
“If it looked like that, I might be tempted,” Jisung says skeptically, eyeing Jeongin’s sweater again. And, alright – he can admit, it’s not the most appealing thing he’s ever seen. The color way is, to put it plainly, terrible; an unflattering mix of yellows and greens that resemble something closer to the color of trash and sewage. The neckline sits a bit awkward on his neck and shoulders, somehow sliding off and practically choking him at the same time. But – it was a gift, one that he knows Felix worked really hard on, and every time he even considers taking it off he just pictures Felix’s face in his mind giving him those big, sad eyes, and he feels super guilty.
He unbuttons his jacket at least, but keeps it on to cover himself up.
“He worked on this for a while and he’s proud of it. And he gave it to me, so I’m wearing it.” Jeongin says with finality. What does Jisung know, anyway? He can barely dress himself on a daily basis and always has to ask Seungmin for advice about his clothes. Jeongin takes a long sip of his coffee and tries to ignore the look Jisung is sending him from across the table, one that is silently telling him that he’s whipped and probably a little pathetic. But Jeongin can’t tell. He’s not looking.
He looks up when he hears someone else sit at their table, Seungmin taking a seat next to Jisung and putting his books down. “Hey.” He greets Jisung before looking at Jeongin and doing a double-take. “Hey, Jeongin.” He says it a bit slowly, trailing his eyes up and down Jeongin’s middle while trying to get a better look at what he has on.
“Hi.”
“That’s, uh. An interesting outfit you’ve got on today.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, why the hell do you look like you got dressed in the dark this morning?”
Jeongin looks down. “I think I matched pretty well.”
“Where did you even get that thing?”
“His boyfriend made it.” Jisung nudges Seungmin’s shoulder and lilts his words obnoxiously, like they’re a bunch of fucking twelve year olds. Seungmin scoffs.
“Figures. Only Felix could persuade you to wear something that looks like a sewing machine threw up on it.”
Jeongin swats his hand at Seungmin in a weak and harmless threat, ignoring Jisung’s boyfriend comment and how it makes the shells of his ears go red. “He knitted it, actually. For his textiles class.”
Seungmin takes a sip of his coffee. “I hope he got an F.”
“You are the worst best friend ever.” Jeongin says with a laugh.
“Who is?” They turn their heads to Felix, who pulls up a chair to their small table, definitely not spacious enough to fit four in a cramped library cafe but they move the chairs to make it work. “You mean Seungmin, right?”
“I’m the greatest friend you have,” Seungmin says in return while moving his bag so Felix has enough room to sit. “Just last night I helped you study for your psych quiz.”
Felix levels him with a blank look. “You gave me the answer to the extra credit question and then told me to fuck off.”
“That’s the only answer you need to pass, though. I did you a favor.”
“Anyway,” Felix says loudly, “How are you Jisung, my actual best friend?”
“Wow, right in front of Jeongin? I’m honored.” Jisung presses a hand to his chest, puffing out his cheeks with a smile. Felix lays a hand on Jeongin’s arm and squeezes before leaning his head onto Jeongin’s shoulder.
“Well, that’s different. Innie is my favorite best friend.”
“Wow. Not feeling honored anymore.”
Felix laughs loudly and lifts his head, turning to Jeongin with his eyes sparkling. “You’re wearing the sweater!” And Jeongin can’t help it, weak willed as he is, he smiles to match Felix’s enthusiasm, and finds that he’s not even faking it. Happiness is the most contagious when it’s Felix who’s radiating it. “It looks great on you.”
“Are you sure about that?” Seungmin mumbles from the other side of the table and Jeongin kicks him underneath in response, hoping that Felix didn’t hear what he said.
“Yeah, it’s–” He racks his brain trying to think of something to say as a compliment, but not a lie. “It’s comfortable. Thanks for making it for me.” And the way Felix’s face lights up is so worth it; worth the snide comments Jisung and Seungmin give him, worth every weird look he gets around campus that day from his classmates and even a few professors that he walks by. Jeongin finds that he can barely even pay attention to them because he’s too busy daydreaming about the warmth and brightness of Felix’s smile.
✶
2.
The following week Jeongin has one of his routine study sessions with Felix at their favorite coffee place across the street from their dorms – except it’s more of Jeongin studying and Felix across from him clicking his knitting needles together. Since the first garment he completed he’s been obsessed with making new things, going overboard with buying yarn he probably won’t even need and spending more and more money on fancier tools to get the job done. Unfortunately having nicer needles doesn’t make his creations any less hard on the eyes.
“Are you gonna help me with these flashcards?” Jeongin jokes and waves them in front of Felix’s face, who laughs but bats him away. Secretly he thinks it’s cute. Felix has his expression schooled into something extremely concentrated, counting out his stitches as he works and making little noises of disappointment when he misses one or drops it. His eyebrows are pinched together in focus while his little fingers move over the needles and yarn in his opposite working hand. “Stop talking to me, you’re making me mess up!”
“We’re supposed to be studying,” Jeongin shoots back. But it’s a lost cause. Felix looked over his notes only once before abandoning them to work on his current project and spread his materials all over the table. Jeongin closes his laptop.
“You don’t even care about the quiz anyway,” Felix says. True, Jeongin thinks. “And besides, I’m making this for you, so you should be grateful.”
He pauses. Something else for him? Another article of clothing to wear outside of the dorms that will get him made fun of every ten seconds? “You are?”
Felix nods and meets Jeongin’s eyes, giving him a sweet smile. “Since you liked the first one so much, I wanted to give you something else. I started this one yesterday.” He holds up the mound of yarn in his lap and Jeongin eyes it uneasily. The blue-gray color blend of yarn is more tolerable at least, but Jeongin can’t decide if it’s supposed to be a pullover or a cardigan, or something else entirely. Maybe it’s too early to tell. “If it turns out good, I’m gonna make another one for myself.”
Couple outfits. Matching with Felix in one of the ugliest things he possibly owns. Something about it makes his heart skip in his chest, and he wills himself to calm down. Part of him wants to reject the gesture a bit to save himself the trouble and impending humiliation, although the other part of him is incredibly touched and warm at the idea of Felix doing this for him a second time when he really doesn’t have to. He pictures Felix picking out the yarn for the project, working in his room to start it with Jeongin in mind, and he just can’t outright say no.
“That sounds really cool, Felix. Thank you.” And Felix, well. He just sits there and beams, shines out sun rays from his eyes and his smile even though he’s still looking down, and Jeongin melts like an ice cream cone on a summer afternoon. “Are you sure that’ll even fit me?” Jeongin leans in to get a closer look at Felix’s work.
“What do you mean?”
“It looks really small. Like it would fit a baby.” He pauses. “Like it would fit you.”
He gets a slap on the arm for that, one that he dramatically leans away from as if he were in real pain.
“You’ll really like it once it’s finished! I have a good feeling about this one.”
Jeongin doesn’t point out that that’s what Felix always says when he’s in the middle of a project, before seeing the end result. He doesn’t really share the same sentiment about feeling good about it, but if Felix is happy, then Jeongin figures he can try to be as enthusiastic too.
✶
3.
On Friday night, Jeongin visits Minho and Chan’s apartment off campus for dinner, bringing an extra change of clothes just in case he falls asleep – if Chan has anything to say about it they’ll probably be marathoning a few movies, and Jeongin always gets tired after he eats any of Minho’s cooking. He grabs the nearest thing to layer with off of his desk chair, barely looking, and heads out. It’s only until he takes his seat on the bus that he sees the error of his choices: he mistakenly put on another one of Felix’s sweaters that was gifted to him just a few days ago after he got graded on the project. He sighs and shrugs to himself; at least he’s only going over to see his friends tonight.
He gets off of the bus and walks across the street up to the steps, ringing the buzzer and climbing the stairs after the door clicks open. He knocks and waits, and he can smell whatever it is Minho is cooking on the other side. His mouth starts to water. He hopes he can eat as soon as he gets in. The door swings open to reveal Minho, apron on his waist and a disgruntled look on his face when he gets an eyeful of Jeongin standing in front of him.
“Good god,” Minho grumbles, running a hand over Jeongin’s sleeve and holding out his palm, strands of bright pink fuzz resting in the middle of it. “I might have to rescind my claim of telling people you’re one of the best dressed people I know.”
Jeongin ignores him and pushes through the doorway, hanging his coat on the rack and removing his shoes. Whenever he moves tiny puffs of yarn fly off of his body, landing on the floor in a gentle trail of fuchsia. Jeongin leaves his bag in the living room area and heads into the kitchen where Chan is standing over the stove and stirring whatever’s in the pot. Minho shoos him away and adjusts the heat to a simmer, instructing Chan to grab bowls and Jeongin rushes to help.
“Hey, Innie.” Chan smiles at him and looks down at his outfit. “That’s a new look for you, isn’t it?”
Jeongin laughs a little and lines up the bowls on the counter. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
“Another Felix original?”
“The one and only.”
“I should have known,” Minho says and turns the stove off. “That must’ve been the thing Felix was working on when I last saw him. I thought he was knitting a rug.”
Jeongin barks out a laugh and agrees because, yeah. It definitely resembles an accessory a teenage girl from the 90’s would have stationed on her bedroom floor. It’s not uncomfortable though, and when he runs a hand over one of the sleeves he sees that it’s better constructed than the last two, even though a ball of fuzz falls to the floor in his wake.
“Seriously, Jeongin,” Minho eyes him warily, Chan wearing a matching expression at his side, “you need to break the news to Felix. These sweaters are getting more and more hideous.” Chan brushes another wisp off of Jeongin’s neck and rolls it between his fingers before flicking it into the kitchen trash can.
And, yeah. Felix really outdid himself with this one, Jeongin thinks. This sweater fits him the best so far, actually draping nicely across his shoulders and arms, tapered down by the waist. The biggest offender is the yarn – fluffy and soft to the touch and light on his skin, but he could breathe and it starts to shed all over the place – and the color: an obnoxiously loud shade of magenta, one that Jeognin hates so much he closes his eyes every time he looks down to not catch sight of the glowing pink fiber.
“I can’t tell him.” He can’t face Felix’s disappointed eyes, his puffed out cheeks and his pout. Jeongin’s heart is not strong enough to handle all of that simultaneously. He voices as much aloud.
“It’s because all those energy drinks are rotting your body from the inside out,” Minho says and turns away, likely shielding his eyes from the offending garment. “Are you hungry? Dinner is basically ready.”
“He’s always hungry.” Chan answers for him and brings their bowls to the other side of the counter where Minho begins to ladle stew into them all before they all migrate to the couch to eat while they watch movies. Chatter over dinner is light and they cram onto the sofa, Minho unable to keep his eyes from drifting back to Jeongin.
“Why do you keep staring at me?”
“You’re radiating all over my couch,” Minho refers to the way the blue light of the television is making Jeongin’s sweater seem radioactive. “You look like a glow worm.”
Jeongin bats his eyelashes at Minho. “A cute one?”
He gets an empty look in return. “Adorable. Now go change your clothes. And bring the lint roller back with you, while you’re up.”
-
“I’m just saying,” Minho starts, “if you weren’t Felix’s favorite, you wouldn’t be getting all these free gifts that he’s making you.
Jeongin burrows comfortably on the couch in between his friends, head pillowed on Minho’s lap and he closes his eyes. The sounds of the tv playing gently and Chan munching on popcorn beside him fill the room. “Come on. I can't be the only person he’s making things for.” Jeongin can’t see himself being so special to Felix in that way. His mind won’t compute it. “He told me he gave you something too, right?” He pokes his foot on Chan’s thigh to get this attention, the oldest of the three zoned in on the movie playing on screen.
“Yeah, he made me something,” Chan says, not taking his eyes off of the television. “He gave me a hat. It was one of his first projects.”
“The one that you never wear,” Minho interjects while carding his fingers through Jeongin’s hair.
“I’m saving it for a special occasion.”
Minho leans down to whisper into Jeongin’s ear, but loud enough that Chan can hear him, “he said he thinks it’s grotesque.”
Chan whips his head around. “I did not!”
“That is exactly the word you used!” Chan sits back with a huff, grumbling under his breath while Minho practically passes out from laughter. Once he regains control of his breath he looks at Jeongin again. “My point is that Felix is giving you the majority of gifts because he loves you. You’re special to him.” Hearing Minho say it makes Jeongin blush all over, at the idea that other people notice how gone he is for Felix – and apparently how mutual it is.
“I want to return the favor and tell him, I just…don’t know how.”
Chan speaks through a mouthful of popcorn and Minho gives him a dirty look from the side of his eye. “You should give him something handmade! He’d love that.”
Minho snorts. “You’re kidding. The only person worse than Felix at doing anything creative is literally Jeongin.”
“Hey!”
“Don’t start with me,” Minho flicks Jeongin on the forehead. “You failed your freshman year art seminar. And all you did was draw shapes the entire semester.”
Jeongin sits up. “Excuse you, it was way harder than it looked.”
“Felix mentioned he’s been looking for a new ring tray,” Chan attempts to get the conversation back on track. “Maybe you could make him one of those.”
Jeongin considers. He could probably do that. Some air dry clay and art store brand paint in a couple nice colors. Simple. It shouldn’t be too hard, right?
-
Wrong. So wrong.
He should’ve listened to Minho when he said Jeongin was better off buying something for Felix. It’s not that it looks terrible, necessarily. The air dry clay was just way harder to work with than Jeongin anticipated and cracked in a few places in the process of making it, and for someone who coordinates his outfits very well, the colors he chose look a bit awkward next to each other in the pattern he painted. Looking at it now, Jeongin regrets all of his decisions up to this point in time. But he already spent all night working on the damn thing and he even wrapped it as nicely as he could in a gift bag with a card he’s hoping isn’t too sappy – so essentially, there’s no turning back now.
✶
+1.
He decides to give Felix his present on their next day off from classes.
They meet in front of their favorite place for lunch, looking at the menu in the window before going in to order. “Hey,” Jeongin begins, “I got you something.”
Felix hums in acknowledgement that he heard Jeongin speak but doesn’t take his eyes off of the list of food choices right away. He must hear the nerves in Jeongin’s voice, because when he turns he looks a little concerned. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Jeongin holds out the bag in his hand, a little timidly, like he’s five years old again giving candy to his classroom crush. In the bigger picture, he figures it’s really not all that different. Felix takes the small bag out of Jeongin’s hand and digs into it right away, thankfully bypassing the cheesy card and getting straight to the goods. Or the bads, Jeongin isn’t really sure how this is going to go. It comes out of the bag and – holy fuck. It looks even worse in the bright light of day and in the palm of Felix’s hand. He looks a little confused like he isn’t really sure what it’s supposed to be, but he doesn’t want to ask.
“Wow, Jeongin, this is…” Felix doesn’t finish his sentence when his last word catches on a giggle, and then blossoms into a full bodied laugh. He laughs for a good amount of time, long enough for Jeongin to start to feel a bit embarrassed about the whole thing, and he’s worried that Felix probably hates his gift and doesn’t even want it.
“If you don’t like it, it’s fine–”
“No!” Felix straightens up and tries to catch his breath. “I love it. It’s – it’s so sweet of you to give me something.”
“You’re a really shitty liar, Felix.” Jeongin mumbles and it sends Felix into a fit of giggles again.
“I do really like it, really.” He calms down and steps closer to Jeongin’s body, wrapping his arms around the younger’s torso. Felix poises on his toes to rest his head on the juncture of Jeongin’s neck, just like any of their normal hugs, but Felix holds tighter this time. He speaks again, his voice muffled into Jeongin’s neck: “It’s just…so ugly.” And really, Jeongin wants to be offended, because he worked so hard on the stupid thing – but Felix punctuates his sentence with a guffaw and buries his face further into Jeongin’s skin to tamper down the sound of his laughter and Jeongin can’t help but to crack a little smile, too.
“Wow. I made something for you, and this is how you treat me?”
“It’s cute! It’s like, ugly-cute. It has a lot of charm,” Felix holds it up and looks at it again, biting his lip to stop from giggling.
“After I wore all of those ugly sweaters you gave me? In public?”
The words don’t mean to make their way out of Jeongin’s mouth but they do, and he’s scared of Felix’s reaction for exactly two seconds before he responds with a gasp. “My sweaters are not ugly! How could you say that!” And there it is, Jeongin’s worst fear and greatest enemy: Felix is pouting, looking up at Jeongin with shining eyes and curved down lips. “If you hated them, why did you keep them?”
“Because you’re the one who gave them to me,” He shrugs nonchalantly but almost cringes at how corny it sounds, at how mushy Felix makes him feel inside. Jeongin could throw up now and he’s sure it would just be a puddle of melted candy hearts that say I LIKE YOU all over them. “Plus, the gray one wasn’t that bad.”
“I hated that one the most,” Felix grumbles. “It was all weird and didn’t fit you right.”
“The pink one was the worst.”
“Hey, that one was my favorite!”
“You can definitely have it back, if you want.”
Felix tuts and shakes his head, but he’s unable to keep the smile off of his face. He presses a short kiss to the highpoint of Jeongin’s cheekbone in lieu of an immediate response, and Jeongin is glad Felix is holding onto him, otherwise he’s sure he’d collapse right in the middle of the sidewalk. Not the most embarrassing thing he could do, but he’s sure it’d be annoying for people to have to step over his stupidly lovestruck body laying on the ground there. “Come on, let’s go eat. And then you can tell me all about what I’m supposed to do with this little thing.”
Jeongin lets Felix attach himself to his arm, squeeze himself close to his side, and Jeongin decides he likes the feeling of the two of them being so close.
-
(“You must really like me if you wore all those sweaters in front of our friends, even though you didn’t like them.”
Jeongin can’t hold back his blush. “Uh. Yeah, I guess so.”
“You guess?” Felix sits forward and pokes Jeongin’s cheek firmly, a gentle show of annoyance.
“Also I never said I didn’t like them.”
“You called them ugly!”
“The pink one was really questionable, even you have to admit.” A pinch to Jeongin’s cheek this time, which only makes him laugh and he laces their fingers together, joins their hands palm to palm. “But I like you, so it’s okay, right?”
And it’s Felix’s turn to light up pink, turning red on the sides of his nose. He purses his lips a bit to curve the intensity of his smile, but it blooms fully anyway, sweet and lovely like cherry blossoms.
“Yeah, I guess so.”)