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BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective, let out a rather groggy groan. Feeling around with his hand, he slowly but surely found the snooze button on his alarm clock and struck it. Rather strangely, and annoyingly, the beeping continued to blare in the boy’s ears. He struck it a few more times, but the beeping continued. Slowly opening his eyes, Shuichi went to investigate the clock.
“I just bought this, it’d better not be broken already” the detective grumbled as he picked up the clock.
The time read 7:00, nothing different there, that was the time Shuichi usually awoke most days, the snooze button also seemed to be in working order. Finally, he just decided to unplug the clock, but still, the beeping persisted.
Shuichi pondered his predicament for a few seconds, if it wasn’t the clock then where could the beep be coming from? Just then a rather pungent, but familiar, odor entered his nose giving him his answer
“That explains it,” Shuichi murmured to himself.
Exiting his room and heading towards the kitchen confirmed his suspicions.
Standing on a stool in front of the oven and covered in a layer of soot was one of Shuichi’s roommates, Ryoma Hoshi, the Ultimate Tennis Player. Once again it seemed like the boy had managed to burn breakfast. However it wouldn’t take a detective to figure this out as Miu Iruma, another roommate and the Ultimate Inventor, was currently, and loudly, chewing him out for it.
“Nice going shit for brains, you almost burned down the dorm, AGAIN!”
“Not my fault” grunted the Tennis Player.
“Honestly, If you wanted to kill those mob members, you should’ve just tried making them a grilled cheese” grumbled Miu as she took a swig from her, if campus security asked anyway, non-alcoholic beverage.
“Cooking is not easy when you’re my height. You’d be speaking a different tune if you had to see things from perspective.”
“Ha! To see from your perspective I’d probably have to get on my hands and knees.”
“Hmph, then you should have an easy time understanding then considering how often you do”
“What the fuck are you suggesting!”
At this point Shuichi decided to just tune to that conversation. Knowing Miu, there was only one way things could go, and it was way too early in the morning for that.
The boy sat down at the table where Himiko Yumeno, the Ultimate Magician and the only person in the dorm who was less of a morning person than Shuichi, was sleeping.
Deciding not to disturb her slumber with small talk, Shuichi picked up something that was sitting near the table. It was the school newspaper, and unlike the dorm, there wasn’t much that was out of the ordinary. As usual there were some photographs by Mahiru Koizumi, an article or two written by Toko Fukawa, and some, very risqué, cartoons by Hifumi Yamada. While most of his roommates tended to disregard the paper, Shuichi enjoyed it, if not for being the only bit of predictability he had in the mornings.
“So what’s for breakfast today Kirumi,” asked Shuichi as he continued to read.
“Belgian waffles covered in a freshly made syrup with a side of freshly cut bacon, there would’ve also been omelets, but Ryoma seems to have burnt them”
Ryoma, who was currently washing away the soot on his face, let out a grunt. “Everyone’s a critic….” he murmured to himself.
If there was one thing that Shuichi did look forward to in the mornings, it was the breakfasts that were made by Kirumi. The detective did often wish that there was something he could do to repay Kirumi. She was always doing the cooking, cleaning, and just in general acting as the glue that stopped the whole dorm from falling apart. However, she always insisted that it was simply part of her training to become an even better maid.
As Kirumi set down the meal, she tapped Himiko on the back a few times to wake her up.
“Himiko, I thought I asked you to set the table?”
“Nyeh, I cast a spell to set it,” yawned the mage before dozing off once again.
“Well it seemed your spell failed because the plates and silverware are still sitting on the counter where I left them”
Himiko let out a loud sigh and slowly got up from her chair. “It seems like I’m just out of focus this morning.” Himiko let out a long yawn. “I was up all night finishing homework, and I think I did really well,” added the mage with a smile.
Kirumi began to look over the various papers that were scattered all across the table.
“Hm, yes, this seems to be correct. Kirumi eyed the paper a bit closer, “ however it appears you made a few slip-ups in this section,” she said as she pointed to a page full of times tables.
“Multiplication isn’t easy for me” sighed the mage, returning to the table with the plates and silverware.
“I think most people could tell you that 3 times 3 doesn’t equal drool,” chuckled Shuichi as he inspected the homework.
Himiko gave a pout and grabbed the paper, putting it into a folder that was also sitting on the table.
“I suggest we cover this again when you are finished with your class” continued Kirumi.
“Okay,” said the mage as she began to set down everything, “hopefully it doesn’t cut into my spell practice time.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure it won’t,” said Kirumi with a smile.
“Enough talking, let’s dig in,” said Miu as she pulled out a seat.
As they began to chow down, something in the paper caught Shuichi’s eye, an interview with Junko Enoshima, the Ultimate Fashionista. However, it wasn’t the interviewee that surprised him, but rather the interviewer, Tsumugi Shirogane.
“Check this out Ryoma,” said Shuichi, passing the paper.
“Seems to be an interview, don’t see what’s so special about that, there’s one in the paper every week,” said Ryoma rather unimpressed with what he was seeing.
“No, look closer,” gestured the detective
“Oh I see what Shuichi is eyeing,” said Miu as she grabbed the paper from Ryoma’s hands. “That is a pretty nice-looking chest, but I bet you those are implants. Even if they were real, I doubt they would compare to mine!”
“No, no, not that,” said Shuichi, his face turning as red as Himiko’s hair, “I mean look at the person who’s interviewing her”
Ryoma squinted, “Tsumugi Shirogane. Huh, never took her as someone who’d be so interested in mainstream fashion.”
“Maybe she’s trying to get this Junko chick to model some of her outfits,” said Miu, somewhat muffled by the food in her mouth.
“N’yeah, who better to get to model your clothes than someone whose ultimate talent is fashion,” added Himiko.
Shuichi was rather impressed by what he was witnessing, for once they might actually have a somewhat quiet and normal breakfast, unfortunately, he would soon be proven wrong.
“Himiko, stop playing with your food,” scolded Kirumi in her usual motherly tone.
“Yes Kirumi,” said Himiko as she put down the waffle.
“Oh what are you her mommy? Gonna change her shit-stained diapers too,” laughed Miu.
“Nyeh, quit being such a potty mouth.”
“Yeah, some of us are trying to enjoy the meal,” added Ryoma
“Oh so now the two dwarves are going to lecture me!”
Soon enough a rather loud shouting match broke out at the table, with Miu unsurprisingly being the loudest. However, this was nothing new really, breakfast, like most other things in the dorm, always seemed to end in chaos.
While this was the course of a typical morning for Shuichi ever since he had moved in, he was still not used to it as evidenced by the horrible migraine he was getting.
Quickly finishing his meal, Shuichi left to go to his room to get dressed, and hopefully get some peace and quiet. Racing at speeds that would probably make most athletic ultimates jealous, Shuichi slammed his door shut, fell into bed, and buried his head into a pillow. “Just a few more months,” the boy said to himself, “then you’ll be a sophomore and you’ll get your own dorm to yourself with no one else there.”
While he didn’t resent his roommates, or at the very least he didn’t resent three-fourths of them, Shuichi did often wish that he could have been placed in a dorm with someone normal like Rantaro or Kiibo.
However, from what he had been told by the higher-ups when he asked, dorm arrangements were chosen based on how well they’d help to cultivate talent.
How a childish magician, foul-mouthed inventor, depressed tennis player, and workaholic maid would help his investigating skills was the one mystery that Shuichi figured he would never solve.
Getting up and slipping out of his robe, he went to put on his standard Hope’s Peak uniform; a white undershirt, brown blazer with matching slacks, and a red tie to complete the look. Looking at himself in the mirror, Shuichi threw on his cap, it was both stylish, and wearing it meant that he didn’t have to clean up his hair. He then went to the bathroom to brush his teeth before heading off to class. Shuichi did sometimes ponder about perhaps wearing a mask like Korekiyo so he could also skip this and have some more time in bed, but dental hygiene was important.
As he squeezed the tube, Shuichi thought about how glad he was to not have Kokichi as a roommate. He had heard the horror stories from Maki and Kaede and took pleasure in knowing that he wouldn’t have to risk brushing with a toothbrush that had been dipped in the toilet.
As Shuichi brushed, he felt a certain amount of bliss. He truly did enjoy the rare moments where he had silence and was able to hear himself think. He was hoping for it to continue, but that was interrupted by the door being suddenly and violently kicked open.
“Miu, a little privacy please!”
“Oh what am I interrupting your JO session,” grunted Miu.
“No, but it’s just…can’t you wait until I’m done in here before barging in?”
“Hey, I have needs too Suck-Ichi. Besides I won’t even be in the way,” said Miu as she began to undress. Shuichi went red in the face at the sight of this, causing the inventor to chuckle. “What's the matter, you can’t handle seeing this gorgeous body,” she said, getting closer.
Shuichi quickly spat out his toothpaste and left as Miu let out a laugh.
Racing into his room and grabbing his bag, Shuichi left the dorm as quickly as he could, he certainly had no plans to wait for his fellow dorm mates. As he exited, his friends Kaito, the Ultimate Astronaut, and Kaede, the Ultimate Pianist, were waiting outside for him.
“Morning Shuichi,” smiled Kaede
“How’s it hanging sidekick,” chuckled Kaito as he gave Shuichi a friendly pat on the back.
“Oh, you know the usual. Ryoma almost burned breakfast and Miu was Miu. How about you two?”
“I had to stop Maki from killing Kokichi again, apparently this time he thought it would be funny to put Saran Wrap in her doorway,” said the Pianist.
“Some of Gonta’s bug collection escaped so we had to spend the better part of the morning rounding them up. We thought we got all of them until we found ants in the pancakes.” Kaede and Shuichi chuckled at hearing this.
“Well let’s get going,” smiled the blonde girl, “we don't want our Professor getting upset with us for being late.”
“Kaede class doesn’t start for another 30 minutes,” replied Shuichi.
“Well, it doesn’t hurt to arrive early!”
As the trio made their way to class, continuing to chat about their incredibly bizarre mornings, the detective smiled. He knew that even if he did have some rather odd roommates, at least he knew that he wasn’t alone in his struggles with them.