Chapter Text
Time: 12:27am
Location: Ranboo's House
*vrrb* *vrrrb*
"uugh... the hell?"
It was midnight, well, half an hour passed it, when Ranboo woke up. He had an exhausting day of studying, now he was being woken up for some unbeknownst reason. Though... he had a pretty good idea of who it was from. Picking up his phone to see the caller ID, he was unsurprised to see "Tubbo". With a tired sigh he sat up and answered the call.
"Heeeey Ranboo, sorry to call you so late but-"
"Just give me the location."
"Right, ok, uh I think it's called... Ouse River?"
"I'll be there soon, don't move unless the police show up." With that he hung up and began his drive to where Tubbo was.
Time: 1:35am
Location: Ouse River
It took an hour of driving 'til he got to Tubbo, it was pathetically easy to spot him though. He had a brightly coloured hoodie on that didn't hide the bloodstains at all, jeans that were not made for running and no sort of accessory to hide his identity. As soon as he saw Ranboo's headlights he dived into the bushes near by, forgetting completely about the body bag next to him. How Tubbo was able to hide from the police for two full years without being caught was absolutely mind-boggling to Ranboo, though to be fair, he had been helping him this whole time, giving tips and advice on how to dodge being suspected by the police, helping hide bodies and just trying to not get him caught in general.
As Ranboo's car came more into view, Tubbo slowly crawled out of the bushes. He was cautious, knowing that it could be anyone with the same car as him. A bunch of people owned that type of car anyway so it would be very easy to mix him up with someone else. The headlights suddenly shut off and his sight was flooded with darkness, leaving him slightly blinded. While trying to adjust his eyes, a voice filled his ears that made him audibly sigh in relief.
"Next time hide the body in the bushes, and wear more tone-deaf clothing. I could spot those blood stains a mile away."
"To be fair mate, it was kill-and-run case. I didn't have much time to change my clothes." He said that like a toddler trying to explain why a phone was in the toilet.
"Kill-and-run? A bunch of evidence could be left behind and you could leave a very obvious trail."
"Tch, Well my greatest fucking apologies, mister I-wouldn't-hurt-a-fly-yet-somehow-know-the-best-ways-to-hide-from-the-police."
"First off, I'm studying to become a detective. Second off, I have killed many flies before."
"Whatever you say bossman."
Ranboo sighed, rubbing between his eyes. He knew it wouldn't do him any good to keep bickering so he decided to shift to the more important topic at hand.
"So, who, how and why?" Ranboo had come up with a way to talk to Tubbo about his murders, incase he was ever recorded. He would use simple keywords like who for who the murderee was. How for how Tubbo had killed them. And why for... well, for why he killed them. He often didn't talk much during or about these situations, knowing the dangers of it. If anyone heard about what he or Tubbo were doing they would call the police. Or even worse, Tubbo would get to them fist.
"Dude's name was Oscar, 35 year old self managing model with no friends or family. Was a real douchebag I'll tell you that. Killed him because turns out he was pedo, told me so a few hours before I killed him."
"Alright, but you didn't explain how."
"Well, see for yourself king. I'm kind of proud of it not gonna lie." He suddenly opened the body bag, revealing a horrid sight that made Ranboo gag. The inside was covered with blood, the body as well making it difficult to really identify how he looked before he died. The head had been bent at an unnatural angel, causing the bone to poke out of the skin. Though his clothes were still intact, you could very clearly see his organs through the crimson soaked t-shirt. His intestines were placed in a triangular shape around his chest, with his heart looking very much like an eye in the middle. The shape had random divots though. His eyes had rolled to the back of his head and his mouth snapped open, giving him the look of something out of a horror game. His hair was drenched in blood, making it impossible to determine his hair colour. But if you looked closely under all the blood and past the bone, you would be able to see the now very faint and pale bruise that surrounded his neck.
"... Y-you strangled him?" Ranboo stuttered after a while. Though he had seen many of Tubbo's 'works' with his victims, he would never be able to get used to the sight. He would always create some kind of symbol on them. At first he just painted it on with blood, but after about a year he began... experimenting, with what else he could do.
"Yep! I'm really glad with how it turned out, especially the guts. I was gonna super-glue them into place, but I ran out due to a backdrop I made. So instead I nailed them into place!" Well, that explained the random divots.
"... Al- alright then - god it's already starting to smell - close it please I don't need to see it anymore."
"Aw come on man, let me admire my work a bit more please?"
"No! Oh my god I'm begging you I'm actually going to throw up!"
"Sigh, fine." He slowly began to zip up the bag, but before he covered the face he stopped, stroking it with the back of his hand whispering "sleep well my work of art." He eventually zipped it all up and wiped his (probably yet again) stained hands onto his jeans.
"Did you literally say the word sigh?"
"Yeah, now are you gonna help me get this thing into the river or are you gonna keep standing there looking pretty?"
"Can't you do it yourself? You're pretty strong after all." He said as he moved closer, his voice still a little shakey from the scene that had just been proudly displayed to him.
"Yeah but I used all of my strength to get him here. I dragged him instead of using a car like you suggested and now my arms hurt."
It took a bit of work before they were able to get the body to the river. The area was... peaceful, in a sense. The river and bugs giving a lovely ambiance that one would be able to fall asleep to. It was dark, due to Ranboo not wanting to use a flashlight -much to Tubbo's annoyance- to draw attention of possible midnight walkers, but it was bright enough to see what was happening. Once they had reached the riverbank, they pushed the body deep enough for it to get swept away. After a moment of silence, Ranboo remembered something, something that could be a very big lead into a case of the body.
"Tubbo, were you able to grab his ID before throwing him in?" Tubbo stiffened his position, hands still on his hips. He was faced away and silent so Ranboo couldn't tell his expression.
"Tubbo..." He slowly turned to face Ranboo, his lips were strewn in a thin line and his eyes were wide, fixated to the ground.
"Tubbo I swear to god-" Suddenly Tubbo burst into laughter, curling in on himself and falling to the ground.
"YOU'RE, AHAHAGHAGHA, FUCKING FACE-!" He was literally rolling, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Thankfully they weren't to close to any cities or towns so no one would be able to hear him, and if they did they wouldn't assume anything devious, or- well, anything serious. Eventually Tubbo was able to calm down from his laughing fit, Ranboo was all but thankful as Tubbo slowed from laughter to chuckling.
"Aw man, that was, eheh, fucking hilarious. You went all pale and shit. Auh, don't worry his ID is in a safe place."
"Good, once the case has cooled down you can burn it or something. I'm going home now." He said, a yawn following shortly after, beginning his walk back to where his car had been parked.
"Wait hold on at least give me a ride home!" Tubbo yelled back, running after his tall companion.