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Thunder booms like the roar of an untamed lion. With a deep and monstrous clap, it seems to shake the earth to it’s core and rouses Sirius from his slumber with a great start. Lightning strikes bold and luminous, filling the room with a blinding white light and dazzling the vision of anyone it shines upon. The rain pounds upon the windows of the castle at deafening volumes, and makes the misty grounds below appear in a great haze.
Sirius’ heart plummets to his stomach. He is the only one awake, and probably the only one witnessing the vicious storm brewing outside. Wind howls with such a pitch that it sounds like Remus when the full moon comes, and Sirius cowers beneath his blankets. He is the only one with his bed hangings wide open having fallen asleep carelessly after a night of homework dangerously nearing it’s due date, and though he knows they would muffle the sound of the rain he is much too afraid to get up and close them.
His long, dark hair is damp with sweat and clings to his forehead and the back of his neck. He can just now hear the snores and deep breathing of James and his peers who lay fast asleep around him, and he wishes that he too could be peacefully asleep and not have to hear the terrors of the storm. Part of him wants to sneak down to the common room in hopes to come across another student who’d been woken by the storm, but he feels as if something terrible will come from the dark grounds outside and take hold of him if he dare put a foot out of bed.
The minutes that pass seem like hours, and things just seem to escalate as the night goes on. Sirius’ fear grows and grows with each crack of thunder, and he has never felt so incredibly alone at Hogwarts. Not one person knows of his fear of thunderstorms, and up until now he’s never had to face one alone while at school. He hadn’t wanted his friends to find out about such a fear, because he was sure that they would find it just as silly and absurd as his family had assured him it was. An awful sharp and heavy feeling swelled in his chest, and his eye’s stung with tears. He’s never been so embarrassed with himself.
How could he, the arrogant and overly confident Sirius Black, be afraid of thunderstorms?
Remus isn’t sure why he wakes up, but he isn’t at all surprised. The full moon is approaching in the next few days, and he can feel it in his very bones. He dreads the transformation that awaits him and is currently making sleep impossible, though he knows it will exhaust him when it finally takes hold. He’d just been dreaming about it and he’s glad to be awake in his human form. He doesn’t have to face such horrors just yet. For now, he can lay back and enjoy the gentle sound of the rainfall.
Very much unlike Sirius, Remus happens to enjoy thunderstorms quite a bit. He finds the rumble of thunder exciting, the flash of lightning beautiful, and the soft tapping of rain relaxing. Had he not been nearing the full moon so closely, he was sure that the rain would have kept him fast asleep and secure in his land of dreams. However, he’s wide awake now and it doesn’t seem as if he’ll be falling back asleep anytime soon. Deciding that he may as well make use of this and watch the storm from the large windows of the common room, he moves to get out of bed.
An odd gasping noise comes to his attention when he wrenches his bed hangings open. It takes him a moment to realize that it’s not coming from outside, but from the bed next to his own. He peers through the dark with great effort until a small form comes into focus, and Remus realizes that it’s Sirius. He thinks Sirius is dreaming at first; perhaps having one of *those* dreams, until he realizes that the sound is consistent and Sirius is - no, he can’t be - crying, to Remus’s great surprise. He’s never seen Sirius cry before. Not even when he fled the hell house that was his home for sixteen years and had finally had enough. What on earth could be wrong now?
Remus takes a step closer and Sirius does not notice him. He is curled up with his knees to his chest and his head buried in the pillow, his shoulders rising with each little sob he makes and his face slick with tears and sweat. Remus has found himself in many unusual situations with Sirius, this now surely being one of them, and he’s not sure what to do.
“Sirius?” Remus asks gently.
Sirius stops moving immediately. He pulls the covers up over his shoulders so that Remus can no longer see part of his face anymore. He buries his face deeper into the pillow, and Remus realizes that he is pretending to sleep.
“I know you’re not sleeping.” Remus chuckles, and Sirius turns to look at him.
“W-what?” He stutters.
His cheeks are wet and pink, his dark eyes wide and still filled with tears. Remus has never once seen him in such a state. His already pale skin was now so white he almost looked sickly. Sirius felt utterly pathetic.
“Are you alright?” Remus asks softly, and Sirius’ bottom lip quivers at the inquiry.
He shakes his head.
“What is it?” Remus asks, but Sirius doesn’t have time to respond. A particularly loud crack of thunder rips through the castle and Sirius leaps into the air, his eyes wide in terror, before pulling the blankets over his head entirely.
Oh, Remus thinks to himself, it’s the storm. It was unusual behavior for Sirius and he’d never seen him this afraid - not even when he’d seen Remus transform into the wolf for the first time. But then again, when was Sirius black ever truly afraid? Remus feels his heart break. He hadn’t ever known. Why hadn’t he’d known?
He can see Sirius shaking under the blankets. He glances around the room to make sure everyone is asleep before climbing into Sirius’ bed. He knows James would tease him relentlessly for the next month if he’d seen, and Remus hastily pulls the bed curtains closed around them at the thought. James is the only one aware of particular feelings Remus seems to have developed for Sirius, and he knows he’ll never live that down as it is. Add thunderstorms and what he’s about to do to that combination, and it’s a recipe for disaster.
Remus sits on his knees at the foot of the bed. Sirius is still hiding his face, and his knuckles have turned white with the vice-like grip he has on the quilt. Remus would typically try to coax someone out of their fear if this had been anyone else, but he knew Sirius’ stubbornness would come in to play all too well. With a moment’s hesitation, Remus reaches out and gently grasps the blankets before pulling them off Sirius. He pry’s them out of Sirius’ fingers with some difficulty before sitting back on his heels again, staring blankly at the boy in front of him.
“It’s stupid.” Sirius mutters, his voice hoarse from crying. He feels panicky now that his friend has noticed him, and he makes a desperate attempt to hold himself together. He runs his fingers through his hair with great agitation, his cheeks now burning with fiery embarrassment. “The storm… it’s stupid. I - I shouldn’t be afraid. God, it’s fucking stupid.” He continues, pressing his hands into his eyes. He should have been quieter.
Remus let’s out a great sigh. Everyone claimed Sirius Black to be emotionally confusing and mysterious, but Remus could read him like a book. Whether his sensitivity to the energy around him during this time of the month played a role in this, he did not know. He hoped it to be just because they were close, though that may be wishful thinking. He doesn’t want to embarrass the poor bloke, but he feels he should comfort him and there’s no way in hell Sirius is going to ask no matter how bad he needs it.
“I don’t think it’s stupid at all.” Remus assures, and Sirius let’s out a cool laugh.
“You’re just saying that. You love storms, don't you?” Sirius questions, biting his lip.
He very well knows the answer to this, and Remus doesn’t want to make him feel worse than he already feels. Acting on instinct, and hoping to the gods that he isn’t making a very stupid mistake, Remus slides into bed next to Sirius and lays down. The boy stiffens, and without trying to overthink it too much, Remus snakes his arms around Sirius and pulls him close. Sirius remains rigid for several moments before relaxing into Remus’s arms and burying his face into his chest. He smells of parchment and ink and old books and Sirius begins to feel just a bit better.
“Thanks…” Sirius says quietly, and Remus buries his face into the other boy’s hair and smiles.
Neither one of them speak for a long time. The sudden act of affection has taken them both by surprise, and neither one of the boys is sure how to react. There are so many feelings between the two; so many feelings that are confusing and are surely not normal between two best mates. But neither one of them cares. Sirius continues to jump and make startled yelps as the storm grows particularly loud, and he is thankful that Remus does nothing but hold him close. Only when Remus feels Sirius’ hands shake against his nightshirt does he speak.
“You’re okay, you know. I’m here. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
Sirius’ heart leaps at these words. An unusual warmth spreads throughout his chest, replacing the heavy feeling that was previously there. He wants to express his gratitude towards Remus somehow, but isn’t sure how to do so. He feels as if a simple ‘thank you’ is not enough, but feels uncomfortable speaking anything otherwise. Surely his next move is not any better, but he cannot help himself. He lifts his head from Remus’s chest and looks into his bright green eyes, his stomach doing something of a backflip. There is an unspoken tension between them that soon melds into understanding. They both feel the same. They’re both on the same page. Sirius isn’t sure how he knows this; all he knows is that the glint in Remus’s eyes is speaking to him and that the security he has found in the other boy’s arms is all too right.
Without thinking and regaining some of his usual confidence back, Sirius leans in and presses his lips to Remus’s. Remus kisses back gently and softly, and there is a warmth between them that is more intense than the fire burning in the common room. When the two of them pull apart, they giggle like school girls and Sirius’ already pink cheeks turn a shade darker, not really knowing what to think of what he’s just done. He doesn’t even realize that he’s forgotten the storm.
———————————————
It’s over sixteen years later. A nasty storm not unlike a hurricane assaults the streets of London outside 12 Grimmauld Place. Many things have changed, and Sirius has gained much more dreadful fears, though his hatred for thunderstorms remains. It’s probably the only thing that has gone untouched since his days at Hogwarts. It’s probably the only thing that has survived the changing of the times, which is saying something because not even Sirius’ enthusiastic and mischievous character has gone untarnished. Not even the spark that he and Remus once shared that was once so pure, as they were forced to spend 12 dreadful years apart because of Peter’s betrayal. The wonderful life he once lived and shared with his friends has been long dead. He has harped over it for years.
However, things are changing again. This past decade has come and gone in a whirlwind of pain and terror for Sirius. Locked up in Azkaban, he has spent these years convinced that he’d be better off dead. Convinced that everything that had ever been of any worth to him had been destroyed and he was now doomed to walk the earth alone. He was so sure that he was unable to experience any other emotion than anger and misery as each agonizing day passed in Azkaban, and he mourned the days in which he was once a free man. So sure that…. Merlin, his heart still aches as he remembers the worst part so clearly; he’d never see Remus again, as Remus had been told he’d been betrayed by the only man he’d ever loved.
But again, things were changing. That fateful day had come where he’d escaped the prison with such an absurdly easy idea, it’s brilliance was almost stupid. He had found his way to Hogwarts once again. Had found his godson once again… had found Remus once again. And as dead as their love may have appeared over the past decade, as Sirius peered into Remus’ eyes for what felt like the first time in a lifetime, that spark had ignited and it was as if nothing had changed and they were teenagers again. It was if it had never been touched by death.
Now here he lay with Remus in his old childhood bedroom after such misery, finally at peace. He often feared that he would wake up back in his cell in Azkaban again at any moment, and that it’d all been nothing but a wondrous dream. But as each day passed and days melded into nights, his new life took on such solidity he felt as if he could touch it. The pain had finally come to an end, with the very little price of being unable to leave Grimmauld Place. But what price was that, when the house’s only occupants were Remus and Sirius now that the children were back at school and Dumbledore had resumed position as headmaster? No price at all, really.
Remus tightens his arms around Sirius and buries his face in his tangled hair. He holds him even tighter as lightning strikes and the house creaks in the screaming wind. He still smells of parchment and ink and old books, and Sirius smiles to himself as he thinks of the first night he and Remus had kissed and started this all. He kisses Remus partially for nostalgias sake, and when Remus kisses back it is much firmer than it’d been in the early days but means even more. That burning warmth and passion remains between them and heats them even more than the many blankets upon them, and they both bask in it’s joy. It’s just like it once was.
“I love you even more now than I did then.” Remus speaks softly as if he’d read Sirius’ mind. Sirius grins.
“Love you too, Moony.”
Perhaps thunderstorms weren’t so bad after all.