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It was 2-3 in the morning when Yangyang had woken up that day. It wasn't the first time it happened. Lately, he had been sleeping for about four hours with luck, and from what the clock told him, it had even been somewhat generous with his hours of rest.
The darkness of his room, the coldness of the morning.
He was alone again. Nothing to be surprised about.
Among his friends, YangYang was one of the few who did fall into the category of being "introverted", and sometimes he wondered why. He enjoyed his time alone but not being alone.
There was a small number of people he would want to be with, but only one he would want their company, but as always he was still waiting for his turn in a line that didn't have either beginning or end.
It's not that he couldn't talk to someone, or hang out with people. He was in fact in love, and that was the problem, that was where the line was drawn, and he was way far to catch up or be part of it.
He had fallen in love with an angel, someone that only would appear when he thought about him, but at the same time someone that would always be out of his reach.
His best friend had conquered his angel, but the angel had not conquered him. The same angel that today, in his melancholy and loneliness, was sitting on his bed looking out his window.
An angel on earth, an angel without wings, and he could see who tore them apart.
His beautiful long eyelashes fluttered when he noticed that YangYang had shown signs of life, and he quickly stood up. —Sorry! I… They're all still drunk and I needed to rest.— The intruder stumbled over his words with adorable awkwardness.
"You could have gone with Hendery" He limited it to only be a thought because he was not like Hendery. He never said what he thought, he didn't always express his opinions, and he had fears, fears that only silence and a small nod of his head would solve.
Having Xiaojun in his bed was a dream, but being nice and gentle took energy he didn't have, and he settled back down to sleep, knowing he wasn't going to.
—Why doesn't he love me?— A voice broke his comfortable silence. Oh, not again. He certainly wanted Dejun, indeed, he wanted him, but he wasn't sure if hearing about his heartbreak with his best friend was something he wanted to be part of after a day that would define his existence as chronically lonely.
—You know him best, you're his friend.—
"You say you love him but you don't know him?"
—Come here.— Yangyang changed his disappointed pose for a more hopeful one. He sat on his bed, stretching out his arms. Would Dejun come to wrap himself in his arms or was this dream too realistic?
He was expecting a but, he was expecting a stutter or a half word, but surprisingly Dejun leaned back next to him. He entered his space, burst into his bubble of bitterness.
—He needs you more than he loves you.— His hand ran through Dejun's hair. It felt so far away but at the same time so close.
He had a fallen angel in his arms moistening his chest with his tears.
—Don't worry because I'm here.— Xiaojun's cries stopped as he embraced him. He couldn't help but wipe his tears with his thumb. He was so beautiful, but he would never be his, and he will never know how much he really loves him.