Chapter Text
kirishima angst ?!!!!
It had been days since he’d slept. This issue of his has been going on for years now, but it usually wasn’t this bad. His mom knew about it and did everything she could to help, but to no avail. On most nights he got at least four hours of sleep, but for the past week he’d only been able to fall asleep on four fucking days. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. And even then, he only got twelve hours of sleep in total. He didn’t know what kept him awake. No clue, actually. He didn’t have any anxiety keeping him awake, nor did he have depressing thoughts. Well, until now he didn’t have depressing or anxious thoughts.
You see, Kirishima was a bright kid. Always lighting up the room everywhere he goes like the sun on a hot summer day. Brightening the mood was his specialty, and it always had been. However, this was changing. Rapidly. The sleep deprivation made him moody and irritated. God, he just wanted to punch everyone in the face if they spoke a decibel too loud. Rock their shit. It’s not like this went unseen. He could practically feel his friends' eyes on him all the fucking time. It made him want to fuck them up even more. It was even worse today. Everyone was so goddamn happy and noisy while they were having a late night snack in the cafeteria. Slowly but surely, Kirishima felt his anger rise.’’ Can these people shut the fuck up?’’ is what he’d been repeating in his head for minutes now on end, trying to make them stop telepathically. It didn’t work. Of course it didn’t. But hey, nothing sounds too crazy when you’re on the verge of insanity. Mina suddenly turned his was and spoke.
‘’Yo Kiri, are you good?’’ she asked, being completely serious. She looked good. Honestly, she did. Her eyes were beaming with pure happiness, like a child who just won a prize at the carnival. She was always in a good mood, and it usually transmitted over to Kirishima. They were a good duo. But today was just not it. Seeing other people happy made him moodier than before. Why was he always the unlucky one. No one else in this entire fucking school had trouble sleeping. He was sure of it. It’s such an unmanly thing too. Not being able to sleep? Pathetic. Grow up man.
He snapped. Genuinely couldn’t keep his cool for any longer. He dropped his fork, grabbed his dinner and just left. He threw his food, along with his fork, in the garbage just before the stairs. His friends yelled at him, wondering what the hell was going on inside his head. He even heard Mina shooing Bakugo away from the table to follow him.They cared. All of them. Well, maybe all of them, he wasn’t too sure about Bakugo. Bakugo had always shut people out- he did not like to talk about his own feelings towards things and certainly he didn’t like being touched. Like at all. If you so much as put your finger on him, he would probably break your finger without any hesitation.
Denki was living proof. It had been an accident, too. Denki was telling an interesting story to his friends, and thought he was putting his fingers on Kiri’s shoulder. It wasn’t Kiri’s shoulder. It was Bakugo’s. He twisted his finger into a goddamn balloon figure and didn’t let go until he heard a crack. Bakugo had been furious and didn’t apologize until a week later. He didn’t apologize willingly, he had been forced by Aizawa and threatened to be suspended until Denki’s finger was fully healed. After the incident, no one dared touch him. Not even Kirishima, who was considered to be his closest friend according to Mina.
Kirishima quickly made it up to his floor. He found his keys in his pocket and locked himself inside. It was cold. Fucking freezing. His window was open, it usually was. When Kirishima couldn’t sleep, he would open the window and crawl out to the balcony until the sun rose up from the ground. He could hear the birds sing, cars slowly passing by and the wind blowing through the leaves. It was beautiful, and it was the only positive thing about this whole situation. He found himself at peace, at rest, and it made him a bit less moody and a bit more energetic.
But now he felt annoyed at himself. The birds weren’t singing, the wind was howling and the rain was pouring down heavily. He knew there was going to be a storm today, but he forgot. That’s why he didn’t close the window, and now it was minus ten fucking degrees in his room. Could this day get any worse? Yes. Yes it could because God fucking hates Kirishima and he always has.
A knock on the door. Not a very gentle knock. Then a shout.
‘’Open the door, Shittyhair’’
Fucking fantastic! His friends had sent the most angry and explosive guy to comfort him. How thoughtful of them. Kirishima didn’t answer, instead he dragged himself over to his bed and plopped down face first. He would’ve thought that Bakugo would leave him alone since he didn’t answer, and Bakugo usually didn’t care this much about his friends, but no. Not today apparently. The knocking became angrier. He tried again.
‘’Listen the fuck up, Shithead. Your friends sent me up here to, i don’t fucking know, like, ask what the fuck’s happening with you, so you better open up the goddamn door before i break it down, okay? I am not leaving here empty handed, Shittyhair. Believe me i can’t stand you being all angry and shit. That’s my role in this goddamn school.’’ Bakugo practically shouted, getting angrier for every word he said. The entire school could probably hear it.
Left with no other choices, Kirishima got up from the bed, mentally prepared himself for the shit Bakugo was about to scream at him, and slowly unlocked the door.
‘’It's open’’ he said and started to walk back to his bed again. He didn’t bother opening the door, Bakugo could do that himself. He heard the door open and feet moving inside before the door closed again. Then he kinda just stood there. He looked uncomfortable and out of place. He didn’t want to be here. Kirishima looked up at him from the bed to gain eye contact.
‘’What do you want, man?’’ Kirishima said with an edge in his voice. He was mean. Bakugo went from looking uncomfortable to pissed off. Kirishima was used to that by now.
‘’I already told you, Shittyhair. Tell me what the fuck you think you’re doing so i can tell the others and be over with it’’ he spat back, sourly. Ouch, that hurt, Kirishima thought. Fuck this guy.
‘’Why did they send you? You don’t even fucking care, why should i tell you?’’
Bakugo looked somewhat offended.
‘’Fuck do you mean?! You think I would be here if I didn't give a shit? Are you fucking stupid too now?’’ He defended himself.
‘’Bro i can’t fucking sleep at night’’ he tried explaining, but Bakugo needed more than just that. ‘’I have had it for years, but it’s been getting so much worse this past week.’’ He was breaking down. Tears were welling up. ‘’I don’t know how to stop it, man. I don’t know what to do and I'm scared I’m going crazy!’’ He was sobbing now. Rubbing his eyes, hard, to try to be manly because boys don’t cry but he didn’t have any power left. He was exhausted and tired and mad and desperate for some good fucking sleep.
Bakugo just stood still and watched it all unfold like an ugly fucking flower that hadn’t seen the light for days. It wasn’t pretty. Bakugo could’t stand it. All the feelings and emotions happening at once. He’d never been good at it but right at this moment he really wanted to try helping. Because this time he understood why Kirishima was breaking down. He’d been there himself once or twice. Especially after the Kamino incident. He couldn't sleep for days on end. However, he found a solution after talking to his mom of all people. The solution was to sleep while holding something. Like a pillow or a stuffed animal. It sounded childish and fucking stupid, and Bakugo really didn’t want to try it but he was desperate. That was the first time in forever that he got a full 8.30 hours of sleep. He continued doing it till a few months ago when he finally could sleep alone without having any nightmares and cold sweats and screaming.
Now it was his time to pass on the knowledge.