Chapter Text
For the first time in days, Kakeru’s mind went quiet as he stared at the bread that had once changed his life. It didn’t last long. If I pick this up now, he slowly thought to himself, will you be there waiting for me? His hands were shaking. Is it too early? He curled them into fists, glaring mulishly at the bread. Will I be too late? He didn’t know. He didn’t know a lot of things. Ever since he woke up on the plane to Tokyo, he’d been spiraling a little. A lot.
Kakeru vaguely remembered leaving the apartment. It had been raining. It had been raining and it had been 2022 March when he’d left the apartment, but he’d woken up on a plane with ringing ears and his phone notification bar cheerily displaying 2018 March. He’d still be convinced he was dreaming if he hadn’t had a panic attack or three in the week that followed. Even his dreams weren’t that shitty.
Camping behind the university gym was as okay as he remembered it being, although he traded sleep for feverishly scribbling in the pocket notebook that was currently burning a hole into his pocket, so what did he know? At least he still had his savings and “rental deposit” this time around. It would tide him over for the year now that he knew he had something to look forward to, something… someone to live for. (And he did know that someone still existed in this universe; it was the first thing he looked up when he had bars on his phone. Kiyose Haiji first, then time travel real?!)
Which brings us to the bread. Okay. Okay, do I need to steal it? Should I buy it first? Can I just run to him? But what if the shopkeeper’s screaming is what got his attention in the first place? What if I run past him and he’s not looking, what if he doesn’t chase me, what if-?
Kakeru hit his thighs with his balled fists a few times, fingernails digging crescent moons into his palms. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He didn’t have time for this! He grabbed the bread and sprinted for the door. It wasn’t hard to keep a good distance between him and the shopkeeper, so he maintained his pace and his thoughts came roaring back to attention in eye-burning neon as if he was running through Shibuya Square instead of the back alleys of Setagaya.
What if I immediately start comparing him to the Haiji-san I left behind? That’s not fair to him. To either of us. He was warring between the fierce longing to see Haiji, to be seen by Haiji and the vicious dread that he’d just fuck it all up again anyway. He only had one shot! Snarling, he ripped open the package and started gnawing away at the bread, imagining he was similarly eating away at his anxiety. It dulled the shopkeeper’s cries in his ears, at least.
As he pushed the empty wrapper into his pocket, he became aware of the sound of bicycle wheels tearing down the street. A shiver ran down his spine in anticipation. Here goes everything, he thought to himself, taking in a measured breath.
A flash of that ridiculous green hanten to his left. Wild dark brown eyes haloed by the streetlights flickering by.
“Hey! You like running?”
Oh, Kakeru thought to himself distantly as his head drifted to the left. I’m an idiot. It’s Haiji. It doesn’t matter what universe I’m in, it doesn’t matter which Haiji is in front of me, I couldn’t possibly love him any more or any less.
He kept running because he was an idiot like that. The shopkeeper was about to give up anyway. What he’d give to live in this euphoric moment for the rest of his days, with Haiji effortlessly pedaling away like there was no tomorrow, seemingly unhindered by the singular surgical scar on his knee-- and wasn’t that wild? Just then, it felt a little more real and Kakeru’s mind finally settled down a bit.
Meanwhile, Haiji kept cycling beside him, determined eyes unwavering. “Do you like running?” he asked again, undaunted by the heavy silence.
“Ah,” Kakeru finally sighed, “I love it.”
It had been about a minute since the shopkeeper fell behind, so Kakeru deemed it safe to start slowing down. He started his cool down routine without another word, jogging toward some nearby vending machines. Haiji stepped off the bike to push it forward, following. Kakeru didn’t need to look back to feel his gaze blazing in curiosity like a crackling flame. He fought to suppress a smile as he pulled out his wallet and slid out his Pasmo card, busying himself with getting two cans of green tea from one of the vending machines.
“Why did you shoplift?” Haiji asked in a flummoxed tone. “You clearly had enough money for the bread.”
“The bread was a necessary sacrifice,” Kakeru replied without a second thought, turning around to press a can into Haiji’s hand as he reflexively reached out to take it. It was kind of nice, catching him off guard like this. The adrenaline high lingered and his mind buzzed fuzzily as their hands brushed.
“It was, was it?” Haiji chuckled before hastily continuing, “Oh, and I won’t call the cops,” He cradled the can without opening it just yet. “I just want to know who you are. I’m Kiyose Haiji, a fourth-year literature student at Kansei University. Who are you?”
“Kurahara Kakeru,” Kakeru introduced himself with a knowing smile, then beat Haiji to the punch, “I’m a first-year sociology student at Kansei University. It’s nice to meet you.” The smile ticked up as Haiji’s eyes practically bugged out and his cheeks flushed red, teeth flashing in an unguarded beam. Yeah, it was really nice catching him off guard like this.
Haiji went in to grab his shoulders, forgetting about the green tea in his hand for a brief moment before pulling back with a sheepish expression before it could make contact with Kakeru’s shoulder. They popped open the cans together.
“Ah… thanks for the drink,” Haiji said, and anyone else would mistake him as being reined in if it weren’t for the brightness of his eyes. “Don’t mention it,” Kakeru said. He hesitated, taking a long sip of his drink.
“Do you live around here?”
Kakeru shrugged noncommittally. He didn’t know if there was a right way to say that he was sleeping behind the university gym. Haiji’s eyes turned searching, slowly taking in his face as he sipped his green tea. “Kurahara Kakeru,” he muttered, lips almost caressing the name. “You seem… familiar somehow. Have we met before?”
For one brief second, he let himself hope that Haiji-san may have come back with him before yanking that feeling away and shoving it in a box deep within his mind. But he had a choice to make here, albeit a spur of the moment one. “Have we met before…” Kakeru repeated in a hushed whisper, looking down and considering. He closed his eyes. What the hell.
He took a deep breath to brace himself, lifted his head and opened his eyes to meet his future teammate’s. “In another life,” he said simply. Haiji’s eyes widened before going back to their usual size, a wondering glint appearing. If it were anyone else in front of him, he would’ve taken this impossible secret to his grave. But this was Haiji. It would be easy to convince him and it would make their journey together all the easier, all the sweeter for it.
“Don’t worry,” Kakeru reassured, letting his lips finally curl. “I can prove it to you. First, let’s get my stuff.” Haiji shook his head once, then more quickly a few times, probably in an attempt to reboot his brain. Kakeru was reminded, endearingly, of Nira shaking rainwater off his fur.
“No,” he said, holding out a hand in a universal (and multidimensional apparently, Kakeru thought to himself hysterically) ‘stop’ gesture.
“Oh?” Kakeru asked, his voice lifting in amusement.
“First, we’re going back to the convenience store, and you’re going to apologize and pay for that bread with the money you apparently have. Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you slipped the wrapper in your pocket, you… do-gooder, you,” Haiji trailed off lamely, still dazed but apparently an upstanding citizen like that.
“Oh,” Kakeru deadpanned.
★━━─
With that out of the way, they quietly walked toward the university. Kakeru was content with the silence, allowing Haiji time to piece himself back together after that revelation. No doubt he’d be rapid-firing questions at him soon enough. Kakeru guided them to behind the gymnasium and collected his sports bag, which he’d pre-packed before the konbini run in anticipation of something like this happening.
“Onto Chikusei-so?” Kakeru asked just to watch Haiji’s eyes widen in surprise again. “Yeah,” he wheezed. “That’s the one.” Kakeru couldn’t stop himself from chuckling a little at how understandably frazzled the man was. Haiji shortly pouted in response. It didn’t take them long to get to the front of the dorm. It was like a breath of fresh air seeing it again; the light coming from the windows helped make the ramshackle dorm feel at once more like home than his childhood home ever had been. He couldn’t help his wistful smile.
They walked together to the door, Haiji side-eyeing him very obviously the entire time. Kakeru walked right up to the sign, feeling his strands of a plan start to weave itself together bit by bit. He let his fingertips graze over the Kansei University Track & Field Club fine print. “Kansei University Track & Field Club Training Camp… for the Hakone Ekiden, huh?” Kakeru asked before whirling around, crossing his arms with a steadfast smile and leaving no room for disbelief. “It’s not impossible,” he finished.
“No,” Haiji breathed out with an awed tone to his voice, “Nothing’s impossible.”
“It’ll be a lot of hard work, but I look forward to working with you. Again, that is,” Kakeru teased. Haiji huffed out a breathless laugh. “No way,” he said waveringly. Kakeru hummed, then continued, “I’m sorry to keep you waiting all those years. You must’ve been lonely.” Those deep, dark brown eyes that Kakeru loved so much misted over and he was helpless to stop himself from gripping the other man’s shoulder in a, come to think of it, bizarre role-reversal of how they’d met in their previously life.
“But if there’s anything Haiji-san has taught me,” Kakeru went on, his grip strengthening in resolve, “It’s that even though you can run by yourself, you’re-”
“-not actually alone,” Haiji echoed with him before softly finishing, “You’re always running with someone else.” They were words spoken on autopilot even though it had clearly been a long time since he’d had a chance to say them from the nostalgic look in his eyes. He hastily wiped away at the tears in the corner of his eyes before they could fall.
“That’s right.” Kakeru released Haiji’s shoulder and was, again, helpless from stopping himself from patted it a few times. “Now, I know you wanted to make your grand reveal tonight from the moment you heard I’m also attending Kansei-” Kakeru had to cut himself off to choke down his laughter at the mock-affronted look Haiji gave him. “But,” he soldiered on, “I have an idea that might get the team on board quicker than last time.”
Last time, Haiji mouthed incredulously.
Without you having to resort to blackmail only to guilt-trip yourself down the line, Kakeru carefully didn’t say. While it worked the first time it certainly didn’t lend to a great mindset in the early days, and if Kakeru could spare his best friend even a moment of self-doubt he’d do it in a heartbeat.
“Get them to meet with their mysterious tenth resident by the river at 7am. You know the spot. I remember the way to my room, so goodnight for now,” Kakeru abruptly said, staring to feel his pent-up exhaustion now that the running high and subsequent high from continually surprising Haiji was wearing off. He started to walk inside, but froze at the feeling of cold fingers carefully wrapping around his wrist. After a short pause, Haiji quietly asked, “Have you eaten yet.”
And Kakeru predictably melted. “I ate a bit earlier,” he muttered, turning around again. Haiji’s fingers remained around his wrist as if it was an afterthought, slowly warming up. Kakeru carefully didn’t look down just in case it broke the spell.
“I mean, something other than that bread.”
“Hey, I told you. The bread was a necessary sacrifice.”
“I have no idea what that means, but I can’t help but notice you didn’t answer the question.”
“Yes, I ate beforehand. The bread was a nice thought exercise.”
“Somehow, I have even more questions. I’ll set something aside for you in case you get hungry later.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Tough luck. I want to.”
“Then… I’d appreciate it.”
“Ah,” Haiji said, nodding seriously. “Goodnight then.” Kakeru grinned at him for a second. “What?” Haiji asked, tilting his head. “You’re kind of going to have to let go of me for that.”
“Oh!” Haiji’s shoulders inched up in embarrassment as he dropped Kakeru’s wrist, a light blush dusting across his cheeks. “Sorry.” Kakeru’s shoulders shook in silent laughter. “It’s alright,” he said. “It’s been a crazy night.”
“You’re telling me!” Haiji uncharacteristically burst out, then clapped a hand over his mouth. There was a short pause as they continued looking at each other, then they both burst into laughter and Nira, just out of their sight, joyfully barked along.