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His breath was heavy, eyebrows knitted. Sweat was beading on his pale skin that now turned into a flushed pink colour.
He sucked in a breath. "aAh... Ngh fuuh.."
Just a little bit more.
His hand was pumping his cock violently while he grabbed the damp sheets beneath him with the other.
/Just a little more. Think about him. His laughter. His armpits... He's strapped down.../
"Ahhh..."
/He's immobile... His feet are flexing when a hand spiders above his sole... More! More Sasaki. His nipples and his armpits being tickled. His laugh. He's crying, he begs you to stop. More... You tickle- him more/
"AAHNGH! FUUUUUCK"
Sasaki spurted cum all over his hand and rubbed himself through the orgasm while some of his green hair strands fell into his face.
"... ahhh" he finally sighed and flopped back onto his bed from his sitting position.
He floated in his hazy mind for maybe a minute, simply staring onto the white wall.
His gaze unfocused and consumed by the cotton candy that slowly faded away from his brain like clouds... Like white fluffy clouds. Which would free the way for the guilt to rush in. But not yet. He would savour the moment for as long as possible.
After some time, he blinked and cleared his vision. It smelled like sweat.
His hand moved to his now softened cock and gave it a gentle squeeze.
Sasaki finally pushed himself to get up and waddled to his bathroom to wipe the guilt off his skin... Wash his beloved fantasy off, so he could face the world again. Face the people again. Face... His friend again.
He always showered with hot water. It was comforting and comfort is what he needed most after this.
It didn't make sense. How was he so ashamed of the thing he loved the most. How was it possible to hate something that made him cum, made him orgasm like nothing else?
It just... Didn't make sense.
He combed his hair and wiped his glasses with a tissue to push them up his nose.
A rather skinny, tall guy with a white cotton t-shirt looked back at him.
You wouldn't tell that he was weird just by looking at him.
At the surface, he seemed normal.
"Normal..." he sighed and turned to walk out of the bathroom.
It was a Saturday. It was the 26th of March and it would be the first time he would meet others.
Maybe he'd finally find someone who is like him. Maybe there was someone who would understand what he went through.
He furrowed his brows in sadness but quickly reminded him that this was a day to be happy. He was meeting likewise people!
Mirai Sasaki was about 16 years old when he found out that he was different than others.
From the start of his teenage years, he would get off to edging which he found to be pretty within the norm. Dragging out your orgasm until you can't, to achieve a better high? Seemed very adequate.
But on a summer evening when the sun was setting and he was lying in bed, going through porn, he came across something new.
tickle torture.
And that changed his whole life.
After that day he wasn't able or was barely able to achieve an orgasm without thinking of someone being tickled.
Over the years it became even more specific as he found what he liked the best.
Sasaki ended up with a fantasy of a girl or a guy, strapped down on a restraining table... immobile, while they got tickled in every way possible.
His favourite spots were armpits, nipples, tummy and crotch. He wasn't very much into feet and always scrolled through the porn recommendations with a slight annoyed expression. Why where so many people so focused on tickling feet?
Anyways.
He was 20 years old and worked as a sidekick for All might. He loved his job... And he loved All might. He couldn't be happier.
But his private life was filled with shame.
And it bothered him. He needed to act and upgrade his life. For his own sake.
The voice of his mother popped up in his mind.
/” I don't want you to read this Sasaki. This was made for paedophiles and sick man! And I don't think that you are this dirty.”
“So, you're telling me you want to fuck man?! That... Is disgusting.” /
It echoed between his ears until it reached his heart and stung.
It had stung like this since he was 13 years old, but it got better. It didn't hurt as much as the first time he got confronted with the words of hate.
His family had silently agreed to forget what had happened and over the years they managed to settle and come back to a calm atmosphere.
Sasaki still decided to never address anything concerning his sexuality ever again and tried to talk as little as possible about his personal life when he met his family. It was better this way.
He looked at his watch that was wrapped around his bony wrist.
04:30 pm. It was about time to dress himself properly and take the train to the city where the meet up was planned.
Saying he was nervous was an understatement.
His core was shaking. Nothing that he told himself to calm his nerves worked.
He was scared. He wasn't sure of what exactly, but he could feel his fingers stretching, twisting and came back to reality to notice that he was anxiety ticking. He stopped immediately and took a deep breath.
It's ok... It would be fine.
The train wasn't very full which he appreciated.
He looked out of the window, the sun already setting but still bright and orange to shine through the leaves.
It was a beautiful day.
Sasaki still felt his stomach churn a bit and his chest tighten.
He left the train and walked to the café that he got told to arrive in at 05:30.
Everything was so clear, so in the present. He was hyper aware of every little thing he saw and heard.
He crossed the street and stood in front of the literature café.
Deep breath in...and out.
The bell jingled when he entered the small shop.
"Good evening!" the barista announced and waited for him to ask for a table maybe?
"Hello... I'm- I'll be meeting someone here."
"All right" the young woman smiled and continued to prepare a coffee.
He made his way awkwardly across the café to another small room in the back.
And there it was. A rope on the table.
The E-mail said that the group was recognizable by the rope that was placed on the table.
"Hey! Here because if the Y.A.K?" a man with Piercings and dark clothes asked him. He must've been about 25.
"Uhm yea... Mirai Sasaki."
"All right Mirai, let me check where you are on the list…uhh ah! There you are.” He crossed out Sasaki’s name.
“Don’t be shy, take a seat!” the guy encouraged him.
Sasaki had arrived in time which was considered early so he was accompanied only by 4 people. He took a seat next to the guy with the piercings and looked around in silence.
“Can I ask you how you found out about our group Mirai?”
“Sure, I found out about the meet up online on your website”
“Great and …” he paused to write something down.
“What was the reason you came? What do you hope to achieve? Are you just interested in the topic? That would be totally fine as well.”
Sasaki’s gaze dropped to his feet.
/ I have a tickle kink. I need help. I feel alone and weird. /
“I guess…” he started, “I’ve come here to overcome my fear of…my own inclination. To come closer with that topic in real life and…maybe find acceptance.”
He was still staring at the floor and bit his lip. That was already awfully truthful and intimate. He said what he meant, and it was enough.
“I think that’s amazing and your definitely at the right place for that Mirai.” The woman in front of him said. He looked up and smiled a bit.
It was hard.
It was so hard to be open.
His hands were sweaty, and he rubbed them off on his pants. He couldn’t eat just yet. He was too nervous.
As time passed, the room slowly filled with people. They all looked so happy and excited.
Sasaki just listened. Listened to all the people talk and made mental notes on the things he was interested in.
There were all kinds of people with all types of kinks. A guy with long hair with a foot fetish, a girl who was into DDLG…then some of them were into bondage and shibarii, which he thought could come in handy with his tickle kink. His mind drifted away.
Tying someone up, dragging them into an interrogation room… and tickle torture them, would be historically somewhat correct and could make up for a nice scene.
“I’ve seen you nod absent mindedly to the topic, interested?”
Sasaki came back mentally. It was the woman he talked to at the beginning of the meeting.
“Yes, it all sounds very interesting.” He admitted.
He paused.
/Ask her Sasaki, you can do it!/
“I-“ he paused again and looked at the woman with a searching gaze.
She smiled at him and hummed in question.
“Can I ask you something?” Sasaki asked.
“Sure! What is it?”
“I mean its kinda about the reason why I’m here. Do you know anyone here who had to deal with…shaming? And guilt and stuff like that?”
The woman thought:” Well… I’m sure that everyone here had issues concerning that topic at least once in his life. But we had a person here who grew up in a catholic family.”
Sasaki cringed. He knew what it meant.
His family wasn’t very religious, but he knew what it meant.
“I guess he had somewhat your kind of problem. But I want you to know that you don’t have to feel ashamed…at least here. I never struggled with your problem because I grew up in a pretty accepting environment but know that we’re all open and accepting of whatever it is you want to share.” The woman smiled, here eyes were kind and she took a sip of her coffee.
“Thank you…that means a lot to me. I find it impressive how open everyone here talks about their kinks and other fetishes; it’s very encouraging, however…No one here talked about the kink I have. At least I didn’t hear anyone mention it. I’m sure Im not alone, but no one ever talks about it.” Sasaki explained looking into his empty mug.
“Realy? That’s interesting… now I’m kinda curious about your kink.” The woman chuckled.
But he wasn’t ready. It was to early and the bonds of shame were still strongly wrapped over his soul, restricting him from saying it. He knew that even if he had the gut to whisper what his kink was, he wasn’t ready for the talk that would come afterwards. He wasn’t ready for the questions.
“Yea…” he said and smiled back at the woman, hoping for her to understand.
The people began to order some food and he got himself rice with salmon.
He was so hungry, and his stomach had been empty for several hours now, due to his nervousness.
As he ate, a lot of thoughts crossed his overstimulated mind.
He was hurt that he couldn’t talk like all the others here. He was sad because he didn’t have the freedom they had.
But it wasn’t his fault. And there was no use beating yourself up over something you had no control over.
When he finished his food he sat next to a group of people to keep on listening.
"I was outside with my partner and we had dinner in a restaurant buuuut… I was tied to the chair!" A girl with a harness announced.
"Whaaat damn I'd be so anxious to play in the open." A guy commented.
"Well," she chuckled, "I trust him and he was in controle so I wasn't that anxious. But I tell you guys, when the food came and I wanted to eat those fries… I couldn't! Coz my hands were tied to the fucking chair! And this motherfucker grabs one of my fries and has the audacity to ask 'Not hungry?' while I was drooling for the food!"
The group laughed. And Sasaki smiled.
The evening went on and Mirai was able to get out of his head. They talked about video games and mangas they were currently reading as well as a bit about their work life.
It was about 10 pm when most of the people had went home except of Mirai and the group of 5 people.
He looked at the watch and was about to get up, thanking the guys for the awsome evening and retreat to his apartment to think about everything, when Saito, the girl with the harness asked:"Hey Mirai! We wanted to go to the river and drink a beer, would you like to join?"
The crowd looked at him and Sasaki smiled.
"Sure, why not."
"Awsome! I'm hyped!" Ikeda, a rigger, announced and stretched when he got up.
They took the train to the river and got some Ashai beer from the local supermarket.
It was already dark and the stars sparkled in the clear night sky. It was beautiful. But Sasaki still had a lump in his throat.
Almost unnoticeably, but it was there… he felt it.
"Meeen I love beer." Ikeda said, opening his Ashai on the bench and gulping the liquid down greedily.
"Don't over do it Ikeda, we still have to get home!"
"Chill your nuggets Mahito, it's just beer. Mirai! Beer?"
Sasaki shook his head "I'm sorry I don't drink. Don't realy like to loose controle of the situation."
"Huuh? I didn't tell u to get drunk! One beer won't kill you!"
"Let him be Ikeda, it's ok Mirai, you don't have to drink."
After a few beers the crowd was feeling very cozy and Saito came up to Sasaki.
"Sasaki, can I talk to you?"
The green nodded.
"You don't have to tell me but I'd be realy interested in your kink Mirai."
Sasaki looked at her. And looked at her. Looked to the ground and back up to her. His lips where tight into a line.
"I… want to. Just… give me a second." he pushed out.
"It's ok, take your time. Don't push yourself-"
"No!... No. I need to get it out. I'm sick of being scared. I'm sick of having to hide and I'm sick of… of being sick everytime I have to talk about it."
His eyes watered.
He had to do this so the lump in his throat would disappear… so he could feel the heavy weight lift from his body.
Why was it so God damn hard?! Why wasn't it easy!? It was just a word.
"Listen Mirai…" she cupped his face to which Sasaki hissed.
"You can do it your-"
"Hand- hands- please don't touch my face."
"Oh sorry, sorry!" her hands disappeared and Sasaki rubbed the feeling off his cheeks.
"I'm sorry, I'm just not so good with touch I guess… like… with sudden touch."
"It's ok, I wasn't thinking. Anyways… your amazing you can do it Mirai!"
" I… I can do it Saito… "
" Yes! Say it! Be proud of who you are and do it for every person who isn't able to say it!"
"I can do it!"
"You can do it!"
"I! I have a -"
Sasaki announced and added in a hushed whisper:
"a tickle kink."
Thats it. He did it. It was over. He said it and looked deep into Saitos eyes.
"I did it."
"You have a tickle kink!"
Sasaki cringed "O-okok amazing we don't have to further mention it."
"No Sasaki, that's awsome… and kinda adorable." Saito chuckled and Sasaki's eyes widend in surprise while a blush spread over his cheeks.
Adorable? Yea… it was kinda adorable to get horny from someone's laugh but...he never had seen it that way.
"Hey what's going on here?" Ikeda questioned putting his arm around Saito.
Saito looked at him in encouragement.
"I guess you can tell him." Sasaki told her. He had worked enough today.
"We made progress! Sasaki told me his kink!" Saito announced proudly.
"What!? That's dope! What is it?"
"He has-"
"I… I don't wanna hear it, please tell him quietly." Sasaki asked.
But Saito looked at him in disappointment.
"Noo Mirai, it's ok, I know it's hard now but we have to talk about it to make you get used to it!"
Sasaki sighed, closed his eyes and furrowed his brows.
"OK…"
"Our Mirai here has a tickle fetish!"