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It happens on a wednesday, when it's raining cats and dogs. It was supposed to be a sunny day. Not even the weather forecasts had seen it coming.
When Miranda had woken up that morning, still laying down in bed, she had noticed, right in the corner of her window, a lone grey cloud; but just moments later, when she had got up from bed and approached her balcony, it was gone.
After that, it had seemed to be just a regular warm and sunny day of May.
It's late afternoon and they are at Central Park doing an outdoor photoshoot when the first drops hit the ground.
It's only a few seconds before it gets faster, and she can't do anything else but call out for everyone to quit working and get away from the rain before any dress gets ruined.
Everyone does as she says, running to repair under the tents, where the models start removing their clothes and the photographers put away their gear, not after checking everything is still in working order.
As she moves around the tents, she sees Andrea catching a falling hat before it hits the muddy ground.
As she sighs in relief, she notices that the blouse Andrea is wearing is missing a button and is now damp, sticking to her body, showing - showing so much.
Right then, Andrea looks up at her, and gives her her best shining smile, along with those pretty lovely eyes, now looking at her in a way she can't quite describe.
Miranda feels her knees buckling at the sight, and walks away quickly to her car, to hide, to take some deep breaths.
In less than half an hour, everybody is ready to leave, some by car, some by taxi. And so they do.
Miranda loses herself in the fantasy of unbuttoning that green damp blouse, or maybe just rip it open, before leaning in and devouring Andrea's chest.
She also imagines Andrea giving her that soft smile of hers as she returns home from work, the girl waiting excitedly for her, immediately holdig her between those arms, whispering- whispering words of love.
This is wrong. So wrong. She should not have these thoughts about an employee. She should stick thinking about her work. About how efficent she is. About how good she is. Yes, so so good...
She almost dozes off in the car, probably a result of her preexisting tiderness and the lulling effect of heavy rain. Only when the car stops in front of the building and she returns to wakefulness does she realize Andrea is not by her side.
In all the hurry to get away from her own weakness- she seems to have forgotten her.
She wonders whether she should text her, tell her to just get a cab and meet her later at the office. Or maybe it would be better to call her.
She asks the driver to turn around and go back.
When they reach the park once again, she can see from her window a lonely figure sitting on a bench, holding her torso, shivering from all the rain falling.
It's Andrea.
Miranda picks up her umbrella and exits the car, opening it before even one single drop has the opportunity to ruin her hair.
The rain is getting worse, she notices as she approaches the bench. The whole park is already covered in mud; thank god she's not wearing her best heels.
She stops right in front of Andrea, and before she can even think about what she's doing, she sits right next to her, on the wet wood, moving the umbrella so that the girl doesn't get any more rain.
A few moments pass in silence, the only sound being the loud tick of the rain falling on top of the umbrella; so different from the soft sound the same drops make when falling on the grass, on the bushes, on the fallen leaves.
"I thought you had forgot me." Andrea says in a whisper, breaking the silence. "I thought you had forgot about me."
She turns around, and Andrea is looking down, the corners of her mouth hanging low, her eyes seemingly sad.
Miranda sighs, "I guess I didn't notice you weren't there at first, there was so much chaos - but I came back as soon as I did." she says, not knowing why she feels like explaining, and still looking at Andrea, hoping her expression will change.
But the girl is still looking down, and she can't help but think that something's wrong.
"Andrea, why - why did you stay here? Why didn't you go someplace to repair yourself?" she asks, because she actually wants to know.
Andrea looks down at her pants, now all wet and sticky, "I didn't think about that, honestly. I was too-" she stops mid sentence.
But Miranda wants to know. "Too what?"
Andrea shakes her head, "Too sad I guess. Too disappointed. Too heartbroken, it doesn't really matter. Nothing matters now."
Her voice sounds so tired, so flat, that Miranda can't help but fear that something terrible has happened. Maybe some bad news from home?
Miranda moves her hand, the one not holding the umbrella, to sit gently on top of Andrea's shoulder.
"Andrea, please, what happened? Do I have to worry?" she asks, and Andrea finally turns around.
Her eyes are not red nor puffy, they just seem tired. When they land on Miranda's own, she gives her a small smile, as if to reassure her, before turning around once again to stare at the rain falling on the ground in front of her.
"No, nothing happened" she says, shaking her head, "I simply had a devastating realization."
Miranda frowns, confused and- god, why won't Andrea just get to the point?
"What realization, Andrea?"
Andrea smiles at this, and it looks so sad that Miranda feels almost sick.
"I just realized that I don't- that I don't matter to you as much as you do to me. And that I never will." she shrughs, before chuckling sadly, "I'll always be an assistant to you and nothing more."
As the words leave Andrea's mouth, Miranda feels herself lighteheaded, and she has to force her mouth shut once she realises her jaw had actually fallen down a bit.
What is Andrea talking about exactly? She feels like she's not following.
"Andrea-" she starts, trying to come up with something; but she honesty has no idea what to say.
But Andrea shakes her head, "No Miranda, you don't have to say anything. I'm just being ridiculous."
Ridiculous. She always tells Andrea she is ridiculous. Is she though? Is what she's saying right now actually ridiculous?
Then why the sad smile? Why such tired eyes? Why saying she feels heartbroken about this?
"I don't think you're being ridiculous, Andrea. I think you're trying to give me a easy way out. I think you're actually being as honest as you've ever been, so-" she wets her dry lips, "Please continue."
Andrea turns to look at her, a frown on her face, but before Miranda can lose herself in her features, she's already turned around.
"There's nothing to add, Miranda. Maybe we should go back," she says, looking down at her damp clothes, "or maybe- maybe I should just go home."
Miranda pretends not to hear the exhaustion in her voice. "To change? You can do that at the office."
Andrea smiles, "No, not for that."
She doesn't elaborate any further, but this attitude from her - this exhaustion accompanied by sad smiles and humorless chuckles - it absolutely drives Miranda mad.
"Then why, to get some sleep? Are you too tired to work? Maybe you should look for an easier job." she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm; she hates snapping at Andrea, but she wants to get a reaction out of her, she wants to see some emotion on that lovely face.
But Andrea doesn't look offended. She doesn't seem angry, nor annoyed, not even sad.
She simply sighs, before adding "Yeah, maybe I should."
Miranda feels herself choking on air as soon as she hears that. The idea that Andrea may leave her - not seeing Andrea anymore - never having her pretty face around - never having a chat with her ever again-
She feels a lump forming in her throat.
She wants to reach out, to grab Andrea and never let her go, she wants to throw herself into her arms, she wants to sob against her neck, she wants-
She wants she wants she wants. She wants too much.
"You can't do that, Andrea. You can't." she speaks while shaking her head, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
But all Andrea does is chuckle. "Why, because you're the boss? Because you have control over me?"
The resentment is clear in Andrea's voice. The anger she stills feels towards her. And after all those times she had tried to humiliate her and had treated her worse than trash - she understands. She does.
"No, Andrea, that's not the reason. Can we please go back to your first statement? I just want to understa-"
Before she can finish, Andrea gets up from the bench, in a hurry, and starts to walk away quickly. Miranda feels herself frozen before she can finally get up and follow her.
"Andrea" she calls, but Andrea keeps walking. "Andrea, please" she calls again, and this time the girl stops, seeming uncertain.
She stops, but doesn't turn around. She stays still, under the rain, arms around her torso.
Then she turns around slowly. Her eyes, this time, are actually red, and puffy, and tears are falling down her cheeks.
Miranda can't help feeling her heart dropping to her stomach, nor her feet automatically walking towards Andrea. But Andrea brings a hand in front of her and stops her, "No, please, don't."
"Andrea, I- please, I don't understand" she pleads.
But Andrea shakes her head, "You forgot me here like I'm nothing. I've spent all day assuring everything was perfect for you, just like I've been doing for over a year now! And still you- you forget me like I mean absolutely nothing to you."
If Miranda was completely lucid, she would probably ask Andrea why does she want to mean something more to her than an assistant. Why the idea of not meaning more to her makes her so sad.
But Andrea is right in front of her, soaking wet from all the rain she's getting, and she's crying for god's sake. Crying. Because of her.
She never wants to be the reason of such tears ever again. One time was enough to let her understand she never wants to see that expression on those lovely features ever again.
"That's not true, Andrea. When you say you mean nothing to me, that- that is not true" she says, her voice a little bit chocked. "The reason I forgot you has nothing-"
Andrea stops her once again, "It does have everything to do with it, though. That you remembered about every single photographer and model but not me? God I really am the last ring in the chain for you." she chuckles sadly as more tears fall.
Miranda can feel her own heart breaking at the sight. Especially because nothing Andrea's saying is true.
That she would be less important than any model or photographer- that's absurd.
The reason she had forgot her - how could she tell her? How could she tell her she had run to her car because Andrea had smiled at her so softly while wearing that damp blouse and she had needed to distance herself? And that she was so far gone and that when she had realized- it was too late.
"Andrea, please, just listen to me" she says, but Andrea doesn't listen.
"I quit" she says firmly, "I think that's the best thing for me to do."
Miranda feels the air leaving her lungs. She can't lose her. Oh no, she can't.
"You can't do that, you can't-" she keeps repeating softly, as if in a trance; she feels so far gone.
Andrea chuckles bitterly, "Yes, I can. I can and I will. I'm tired of you bossing me around, I'm tired of you having all the power over me."
Miranda knows how horrible she's been to this girl so many times, knows why she feels this way - she understands her feelings.
I don't have any power over you, she wants to say, it's all fake, it's all made up.
All the power people claim she has, the one she has worked all her life to fabricate - she wants to throw it all away.
You're the one who can make me whole or break me with one word, she wants to scream.
Because it's true. Andrea has so much power over her already; and still she would give her even more if asked.
Just don't leave, please please don't leave me, she wants to plead.
"I don't care about the power-" she tries to say, but her voice is choked, her tone so unsure-
She feels so different from her usual self, so detached.
"Oh really?" Andrea exclaims, sarcasm dripping from her voice, even as the tears keep falling, "then why do you care so much about whether i stay or leave? If not because you want to control ne, why would-"
Miranda shakes her head, "That's not why" she says, tears threatening once again to slip from her eyes. "I just- I need you" she whispers, her voice chocked.
Andrea scoffs, "As if you couldn't find another assistant to do your-"
"No no no no" she repeats over and over, her voice high-pitched, and it is so unlike her that Andrea stops talking, "That's not what I'm talking about, I need you in a different way. I-" she struggles to find the words.
Tears finally start falling down her cheeks, "I need you as- well, you said before you'll never mean anything to me other than an assistant, well, that's- that's not true" she finds it hard to let out the chocked words.
"I- I care for you, Andrea, I do, even if I'm not good at showing it, I guess. The reason I don't want- the reason I don't want you to go is that- that I- I-" she takes a deep breath, the words stuck on her tongue.
The air in her lungs doesn't seem to be enough, her mouth is so dry she has to wet her lips.
Her heart is beating so fast she feels as she's about to die; maybe she is.
"I- I, well, I have feelings, for- for you." she finally chockes out, her voice so different from her usual tone. She keeps her eyes down. She looks at the drops falling on the dead leaves, then at her now ruined heels.
She feels so out of place.
As the silence goes on, she starts to turn around, to move away.
This is clearly a rejection. She can't bare to look at Andrea in the face.
Before she can move a muscle through, something attacks her- not something, it's Andrea.
Andrea, now in her arms, holding her so tight, crying against her chest.
"Oh Miranda" she keeps repeating, "Oh Miranda."
Miranda for her part, lets the umbrella fall and uses both arms to hold Andrea against herself.
She hides her face against her brown hair, now completely wet, and closes her eyes.
The feeling of holding Andrea, having her whole body against her own - makes her twitch everywhere.
She loses herself in Andrea's natural scent, and rubs her cheek against the girl's temple, before moving around and kissing her in the same place.
Andrea moves her head from her chest, and looks up at her, her big eyes still puffy, but now not so tired, not so sad.
"You know I have feelings for you too, right? That's why I was feeling like that, cause I thought-"
Miranda nods, "That you didn't matter to me? That's the farthest thing from the truth, darling", she smiles while pretending her heart isn't beating as fast as it is after Andrea's words.
Andrea smiles, and slowly moves her head closer.
And closer, and closer, until their mouths touch.
Miranda feels herself trembling once Andrea takes her lips between her own.
She kisses Andrea back, taking participation in the kiss, and her knees buckle when Andrea puts her hands on her cheeks to bring her closer.
It probably lasts less than two minutes and there is no tongue involved, but once they part, Miranda still needs a few seconds to come back to earth.
When she opens her eyes, Andrea is smiling at her, and her eyes are so bright, so happy that she swears to herself to never ever hurt this gift of a girl who somehow cares for her.
A hand reaches her hair, and only now does she realize she is completely drenched, her clothes sticking to her body in a very uncomfortable way.
"I can only imagine how charming I might look right now" she jokes, because she probably looks terrible, her hair wet and her make up all messed up; the truth is, though, that she doesn't care about that right now.
But Andrea, oh sweet Andrea, says it nonetheless, looking at her with honest affection in her eyes: "You are always charming" she chuckles, before adding "I'm serious Miranda, you look so beautiful".
Miranda moves forward until their foreheads touch; then she smiles.