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They had always been rambunctious.
Donghan was the epitome of an extrovert, always making friends here and there, thriving in the attention he got from people and recharging his energy with social interactions.
It is no surprise that Yohan automatically fluctuated towards him as soon as he joined the company - that's according to Yongha who loves reminiscing about the good old days whenever Seokhwa talks to him about it. Donghan is, after all, the best at making people feel comfortable enough to get out of their shell, even shy ones like Yohan himself.
Together, they're a riot.
That's why, to this day, after a decent time training together and two years since debut, Seokhwa can't understand why Yohan won't act the way he does when he's with Donghan.
Don't get him wrong, Seokhwa is not jealous of Donghan per se. He's upset that it doesn't matter how long they've known each other, the distance between them doesn't seem to shorten itself. Actually, it might even be growing little by little.
Yohan acts and looks so carefree, so happy, when he's with Donghan but when Seokhwa is in the picture, Yohan usually falls silent, ends up looking distant.
Honestly, it's not fair because Seokhwa knows he's rather prickly at first but he's warmed up to everyone. And wasn't Yohan who convinced him to join the same company as him?
It doesn't make sense and Seokhwa hates it when he can't figure something out. It's weird because during variety show recordings - like OUI GO UP - Yohan acts so comfortable and friendly with all of them but, as soon as they're by themselves, it feels like he avoids staying in the same place as Seokhwa.
It actually hurts his feelings a little and Seokhwa catches himself wondering if he would be feeling the same way if he didn't have this embarrassing crush on Yohan.
Surely, he would still feel offended, right? They're group mates, sure, but they're also supposed to be friends, Seokhwa considers him a friend but the more he sees the way Yohan clings to Donghan and runs away from conversation with him, he knows he'd feel offended nevertheless.
Heck, Yohan even spends more time with their manager than with Seokhwa.
He tries not to think too much about it and focuses on the task at hand - he's choosing a choreography to record a quick TikTxk for their account.
Seokhwa doesn't like confrontations - who does, honestly? - but he doesn't shy away if they happen, even if he's in the wrong.
So it is inevitable that it happens.
It all goes down on a day that feels like it's lasting a lifetime.
It starts bad, with the usual cliche of not waking up with the alarm, and it gets worse right after lunch, with Daehyeon asking for his help to record a guide and his voice doesn't seem to be at its best. Obviously, in order to preserve Seokhwa's voice, their leader sends him away gently and asks him to come back when he's feeling better.
Seokhwa feels a little hot during the afternoon but still pushes through his individual practice with a few easy vocal exercises but decides that returning to the dorms might be the best choice when his throat feels scratchy and he's sweating despite the air conditioner being turned on the coldest as it can be.
He plans on munching on something not to go to sleep with an empty stomach but as he pushes the door open, he's surprised when he sees Donghan and Yohan watching a movie in the living room, both wrapped around a big blanket, looking cozy and comfortable.
His plans fly off the window as he feels an unreasonable burst of anger pulse through his body. The anger makes him feel feverish, he might in fact be harboring a fever within his body but that's beside the point.
Seokhwa knows there's no reason for him to feel like this, it's a scene he has come home to quite often so it's not unusual but his recent thoughts about the way Yohan behaves around him push a button to feelings Seokhwa is not proud of. The way his body is reacting is enough of a bad sign.
His lurking presence in the living room is noticed and the movie is paused.
"Seokhwa-yah," Donghan calls and gives him his billion won smile. "Wanna join us? We started the movie fifteen minutes ago but you didn't miss out much, I can briefly tell you what happened so far."
As friendly as always. Seokhwa sighs and runs a hand through his forehead, wiping off the sweat that was pooling there.
"Thanks but I'm tired tonight," Seokhwa replies, a smile not to be found on his lips. He feels bad for being cold like that but he doesn't want this anger to burst and create unnecessary drama.
Donghan's face falls but he recovers quickly, nodding in understanding and turning back to the television. Yohan is still looking at him with curiosity and Seokhwa glares, rolling his eyes at him before turning around and walking to his shared room with Daehyeon. At least he'll not have to face anyone - the dorms seem to be empty save for those two - and, by the time Daehyeon makes it back home, Seokhwa will be long gone to dreamland.
He forgets the food and opts for showering to cool himself down. It goes without a hitch until he ends up bumping into Yohan on his way back to his room. Seokhwa looks at him with a blank expression and resumes walking, Yohan has a dumbfounded look in his eyes and Seokhwa doesn't have time to dwell on it because he feels a hand wrapping itself against his forearm and stopping him in his tracks.
"Seokhwa-yah, you're burning hot," he exclaims in surprise. "I noticed you looked different but you left before I could ask about it. I was just coming to check on you."
"Why do you care?" Seokhwa sneers and yanks his arm from Yohan's grasp. Yohan sports a look of surprise - and hurt? - in his eyes. "Go back to your movie with Donghan-hyung."
Then he turns to leave but is held back by Yohan's stubborn grip once again.
"I'm just concerned," Yohan says calmly and Seokhwa tries to push him away and fails, feeling weak and a little dizzy but he does his best not to show it. "I asked hyung to continue that movie another day."
"I don't need your concern," Seokhwa says and finally manages to push Yohan away. "I'm going to sleep," he announces and marches away. Seokhwa notices Yohan is following him. "Leave me alone."
God, Seokhwa sounds so childish. He hates it but he can't control the whiny tone that possesses him then.
"You never cared about me before, I don't need it now," he says out loud and storms off to his bed. Seokhwa wraps himself around his blankets, feeling extremely cold despite the fever he knows he has and closes his eyes. "I'm not in the mood for chatting with you right now. If you're still concerned tomorrow, then I don't mind talking about it. Goodnight."
Yohan gets the message instantly and even closes the door as he leaves. Seokhwa hates the guilt that eats at him for pushing him away so harshly and he hates even more the tears that come right after.
Seokhwa learns the following morning that Yohan doesn't back away from confrontations too.
He wakes up disoriented. The dorms are quiet and Daehyeon's bed is empty. Seokhwa still feels the remains of the fever in his body and groans when he sits up, his head pounding and eyes burning thanks to last night's crying session. He tries to get up and has to lean against the wall for support.
"Oh good, you're awake," Yohan's voice comes from the door and Seokhwa startles, almost loses his footing but his reflexes are good and he prevents a fall. "Eat something before we talk about last night."
And he leaves. Seokhwa stares at the door for a minute before snapping out of his confusion. He doesn't bother changing out of his pajamas and goes straight to the kitchen.
"Daehyeon hyung ordered some porridge for you when I said you had a fever," Yohan says from the couch when he sees Seokhwa going towards the kitchen. "He also said you are to stay at the dorms today and that I could keep an eye on you if I was up to it," Seokhwa furrows his brows. "We finished recording another episode of the drama and they gave the cast a day off, that's why I was home earlier yesterday. My plan was to stay at the dorms anyway."
Seokhwa nods, leaves the living room and finds the porridge Yohan mentioned sitting on the fridge. He heats it up and eats in silence, trying to keep his head empty but failing. Yohan is acting nonchalant and Seokhwa is bothered, it feels like the calm before the storm.
They're both rational and Seokhwa's sudden emotional burst last night might have surprised Yohan. His words were hurtful and Seokhwa is not proud of the way he acted.
In contrast to how he's feeling apprehensive over the talk they'll have, Seokhwa finishes the porridge quickly. He puts everything away and takes a deep breath before walking back into the living room.
Yohan perks up at the sound of his footsteps and points to the empty seat right by his side.
Seokhwa nods and claims the spot in silence.
No words are exchanged for a few seconds. Seokhwa is thinking of what to say, he wants to apologize but he's not sure of how to word it.
"I'm sorry if I make it seem like I don't care about you," Yohan breathes out and covers his face with both hands. "I didn't notice I was avoiding you that much."
Seokhwa inhales sharply and stares at Yohan.
"I shouldn't have snapped at you like that," Seokhwa says when he finally gets a grip of some words. "We're both adults and that was extremely childish of me."
Yohan shakes his head.
"It's my fault, I shouldn't have been avoiding you. It's obvious you would assume that I don't care about you," Yohan keeps the lower half of his face concealed behind his hands, his voice comes out muffled. "I'm so stupid."
"I'm not going to deny that you're stupid," Seokhwa says with amusement in his tone, in hopes of lightening the mood. "But why would you avoid me? I thought we were friends, I even joined the same company as you upon your insistence. I know it was my choice but you played a big part in it."
Yohan doesn't say anything but slowly turns around to look at Seokhwa. The tip of his ears peeking from under his hair are red and Seokhwa knows Yohan long enough to know he's biting his lips.
"You're cute and I have had this big fat crush on you since we met," Yohan says, voice quivering but determined. "I know I shouldn't have avoided you for this reason but I didn't know how to act around you without making a fool out of myself."
"You make a fool out of yourself in front of everyone though," Seokhwa replies, still trying to process Yohan's words. "You're so stupid, how is that possible?"
Yohan's face turns even redder and Seokhwa shakes his head in outrage.
"If you weren't busy avoiding me you would have noticed I have a crush on you too," Seokhwa manages to blurt out how he feels, letting the words out lift a weight off his chest.
"Wait wait wait wait wait," Yohan says, pulling both hands down and gaping at Seokhwa like a fish. "All this time you had a crush on me too? So yesterday's anger was because…? You were jealous of Donghan hyung?"
Yohan bursts out laughing. His face is still red in embarrassment but he laughs wholeheartedly and Seokhwa wants to hide, he feels his face getting hot and it's not because of the fever.
"Be nice to me, I'm sick," Seokhwa snaps and tries to hide the embarrassment from his voice. "I think I'm going to sleep a little more. I'm better but not 100% yet."
Seokhwa stands up and Yohan does as well, jumping to his feet and reaching out to hold Seokhwa's arm.
"Mind if I make you company?" Yohan offers, shy smile and all. Seokhwa curses under his breath. "Is that a no?" Yohan has the audacity of pouting at Seokhwa, if he wasn't blushing before he is now.
"I don't mind," Seokhwa says through gritted teeth, biting his lips right after to supress the dumb smile that's threatening to form there. "As long as you let me sleep."
Yohan follows Seokhwa to his room like a puppy and stands right next to his bed. Seokhwa pays him no mind and is in the process of getting comfortable when Yohan stops him.
"You can use hyung's bed while he's not home," Seokhwa says, hugging his special cushion.
"I was thinking of keeping you company and letting you hug me instead of the cushion," Seokhwa should have expected that since Yohan was awkwardly staring at him and the cushion when they made it to the bedroom but he didn't want to be too hopeful. Seokhwa's heart decides to be a menace and beats faster at those words. "You guys also don't have curtains here, so I can like, let you burrow your face on my chest or something like that."
Seokhwa nods, not trusting himself to speak right now.
"Did that make your heart flutter?" Yohan asks when he makes himself comfortable on Seokhwa's bed. It's small and Seokhwa is highly aware of how close they are. Yohan's words ruin the mood and Seokhwa pinches his sides. "I'm trying to make you feel more comfortable, you look pissed. I'm sorry if that annoyed you."
"It's fine," Seokhwa replies, sighing and trying not to make a face out of habit. Yohan's antics made him feel more at ease after all. "Stop trying to be corny though," he wraps his arms around Yohan and throws a leg on top of him. "Thanks for offering to be my pillow, it's a lot more comfortable like this."
"I'm just trying to make my crush like me back," Yohan jokes, laughter in his voice and Seokhwa lifts his head up to glare at him.
"Your crush already likes you," Seokhwa says with a serious look in his eyes and leans down to kiss Yohan's cheek. "Are you going to sleep too? I don't want you to force yourself to be here with me just because you're feeling guilty."
"I'm going to sleep too," Yohan says and Seokhwa stares him in the eyes before nodding. "I didn't sleep well last night."
"Oh alright," Seokhwa mutters and makes himself comfortable again.
Yohan's heart is beating fast, Seokhwa knows due to their proximity. It lulls him to sleep along with the warmth emanating from Yohan's body and they don't even need to use the blanket.
They wake up in startle, all tangled up, with Donghan whistling from the door. His laughter echoes through the dorms and Seokhwa would be angry, would even get up to throw something at Donghan, but Yohan's arms are wrapped around him and he feels safe and happy.
"I'm hungry," Yohan says and checks the watch on his wrist. "It's way past lunch time, wanna order something? It's on me."
Seokhwa hums, nodding and pressing his face to Yohan's chest. It looks like they changed positions as they sleep and Seokhwa is the one being cuddled now, his stomach does a funny thing - butterflies? That's embarrassing - but he ignores it.
They stay like that for another half an hour and only get up when Yohan's stomach growls loud enough that sends them both into a fit of laughter.
Seokhwa has no complaints then and smiles softly at Yohan when he reaches out to hold his hand.
Donghan, who's come to the dorms earlier than usual, is in the living room watching television when they emerge from the bedroom.
He gives Yohan a knowing look, wiggles his eyebrows and stares at their laced fingers.
"Fucking finally," Donghan says and Yohan lets go of Seokhwa's hand to get into a physical argument - arguing mixed with pushing and shoving -, that's how they banter and Seokhwa watches in amusement. It's always funny to watch these two interact.
He busies himself looking through the takeout pamphlets they have and Yohan suddenly hugs him from behind.
"Let's go out for the food, hyung is going to give us hell if we stay," Yohan whispers and Seokhwa can't help but laugh. "I'm not joking."
"I know," Seokhwa says and turns to look at Yohan. "But I am too lazy to change, I'd rather stay."
Yohan gives him a miserable look but agrees. Seokhwa laughs and kisses his cheek right when Donghan looks at them.
"No PDA in the living room," he calls from the couch and Yohan turns red.
"I'm okay with anything," Seokhwa says and takes a step back from Yohan. "I need another shower, to wash the fever away. Just order whatever you want and we can eat when I'm out."
Yohan nods and Seokhwa walks out of the living room stifling a laugh when he hears Donghan teasing Yohan again.