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Jamie rested her head against the tiled wall in the bathroom, thankful for the cold it provided. She felt far too warm and nervous, but didn’t have it in her to get Tank to move from where he was laying on her feet. Clearly, he’d sensed something was wrong and for the last two days as she worked from home, trying to get over what she thought was a stomach bug, he hadn’t left her side.
The timer on her phone was on top of the counter, counting down the three minutes the box said it would take.
She wanted Scott to be there, she wished he was holding her hand, telling her it would be okay one way or the other, but each time she called him, she made up some other excuse, telling him she was fine and that he didn’t need to come home.
Admittedly, she didn’t know how to say it. How to say that she’d had a nagging thought in her mind for the past week that something wasn’t quite right, that she felt different, that this stomach bug didn’t feel like a normal stomach bug.
Travelling all the time meant her cycle was off anyway, but it had never been this far off.
And, she considered herself a smart woman.
When the timer on her phone finally went off, she grabbed it, shutting off the noise, averting her eyes, not ready to see what the plastic stick said.
Looking down at Tank, she sighed. “I don’t know if I can do it without him being here.”
The dog looked up at her, getting up, before jumping up.
Jamie smiled, petting him, letting a few tears roll down her cheeks. “You’d be happy, right? Having a playmate, having someone to feed you scraps of food.”
She looked at her phone again, this time, dialling his number.
‘Hey, Jamie, you okay?’
‘Yeah, erm, are you still at the office?’
‘Unfortunately, paperwork is a bitch, but it needs doing. What’s going on, you sound upset.’
Jamie let out a breath, taking the phone away from her ear for a moment, hearing him say her name again.
‘Can you come home? I really need you here.’
‘Of course, I’ll be there in ten, okay?’
‘Okay.’
She hung up the phone, making her way out of the bathroom, standing in the hall, staring at the front door. She wiped her eyes and took more deep breaths, not even knowing why she was so emotional. She would be okay, they would figure it out, she knew that, but deep down, she was scared. Just that one nagging thought was making her rethink her career, her life, her ability to be an agent.
She willed herself to pull herself together, more deep breaths, more words of calm to Tank, as if he could speak back.
When Scott finally made it back, she tried to smile, letting him hug her.
“You’ve been crying. What’s going on? You don’t feel good?”
She shook her head, taking half a step back, keeping him at arm's length for a moment.
“I took a pregnancy test. I haven’t looked at it yet, I couldn’t do it without you here, I know that probably sounds really stupid and it’s a shock,” She paused, looking at him. “I’m sorry.”
It took Scott a minute but he finally spoke. “Hey,” he made her look at him. “Whatever happens, it’ll be okay, we’ll be okay.”
Jamie let out a breath, “I need to know what it says.”
“Okay, just tell me what you need me to do, Jamie.”
Jamie took his hand, smiling a little, “Just, stay with me. I know, I know I should be able to do this on my own, but after all we’ve been through these last few months, I just wanted you next to me.”
“Hey,” He used his free hand, taking a piece of hair behind her ear, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me, Jamie, okay?”
She half nodded, squeezing his hand as they both walked to the bathroom. In a quick sequence she picked up the plastic stick, and turned it over so she could read the results.
Letting out a long breath, she turned to Scott, heart calming at the kindness in his eyes.
“I’m pregnant.”
Scott smiled, pulling her into a hug. “Whatever you’re feeling right now, it’s okay, Jamie.”
Oh, the way he said her name, would always make her feel better.
“I don’t know.” She admitted into his shoulder, before lifting her head again. “I mean, we didn’t plan this, we don’t exactly have child friendly lives, but, I feel happy.”
Scott grinned, “If you’re happy then so am I, we can figure the rest out. We don’t have to make any set decisions right now, we can let this sink in.”
She nodded, handing him the test, watching him smile when she saw the plus sign.
“I love you, Jamie. No matter what happens, I love you.”
“I love you too, Scott.” She rested her head against his chest again, hearing him put the test down and wrap his arms around her.
She felt safe, and calm, although her head was spinning. Thoughts were running through her head, not just about them, or a baby, but about how things had played out over the last few months. They’d been apart, and she’d hated every second of it, and then they were back together and she felt safe and stable, and now this.
“I can hear your brain overthinking this.” He whispered into her hair.
“It’s a big thing, Scott. A baby, when we’ve only just gotten back together, I mean, I pictured a life with you and kids and a house, but not this soon.”
She felt him pull back a little. “You pictured that with me?”
Jamie smiled, “Yeah, I did.”
Scott cupped her cheek, using his thumb to stroke her face. “If you don’t want to do this right now, I will support you no matter what. It won’t change how much I love you, it won’t change us, I promise.”
“I need a few days for it to sink in, a doctor's appointment to make sure this is really happening.”
“What would you like to do now?”
Jamie tilted her head. “Go to bed with you, and talk about the holiday we’ve been planning for a year and all the sights we’re going to see.”
Scott kissed her lips. “Let’s do that then.”
Jamie handed him the ultrasound a week later. She watched his face as she took in the black and white image.
“I want to keep the baby. I want us to have this baby, Scott.” She spoke with a smile, one that he hadn’t seen in a while.
He couldn’t stop the grin from taking over his face as he pulled her into a kiss, wrapping his arms around her.
“I love you, Jamie.”
“I love you too.”