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“I hope you all know the system of this Defense Against the Dark Arts examination routine for this year,” the toad-faced woman chirped as she beamed at the uneasy room of Slytherins and Ravenclaws. They all shook their heads and muttered low dissent.
Well, almost all of them.
Erwin John Smith merely acknowledged the question half-heartedly and swept it aside. He knew the answer: Professor Snape made sure he was one of the first to know. Not that there was a link between them as strong as that fifth-year Malfoy and Snape’s, of course- it was only the gleaming Head Boy badge with its silver ‘HB’ lettering that the Slytherin head of house had his eye on.
Naturally he nodded and pretended to be interested- but really, he almost wished for any of their old teachers to return- even that stuck-up Gilderoy Lockhart- to return after he knew of the new ‘system’:-
“Last year you had begun to study for your NEWTs requirements with that, ah, defective old auror teacher before he... well.” The lady in pink cleared her throat with a honeyed hem hem. “The Ministry of Magic has assigned new books especially for you seventh-years to brush up on your intellectual skills!” She flicked her wand and their new textbooks landed on their desks with loud thumps. “Now,” she ordered cheerfully, “open to pa-“
“But what about hands-on learning, professor?”
The entire Slytherin column turned to look at one girl- the Ravenclaw prefect.
Erwin rolled his eyes, wanting to levitate himself into his dormitory, collapse on his four-poster, and doze off for eternity. Here she was again, in all her know-it-all glory: Hanji Zoë.
“Excuse me?” Professor Umbridge’s beady eyes widened likewise to her cheesing smile. “What was that question?”
“I said,” Hanji repeated, raising her voice, “what about hands-on learning? Actually learning and applying defense spells, like. We’re not going to learn by textbook the entire year, right professor?”
The Ravenclaws shared agreeing stares between them. Even Marie, who sat next to Erwin, looked a little doubtful.
Professor Umbridge’s smile widened unnaturally. “Well, dear, we’re going to have to leave that part until the exam, now shouldn’t we?”
“But-“
“Open to page three. No more questions unrelated to our topic.”
Professor Umbridge, Erwin amused himself by thinking, sounds like she stirs way more syrup in that teacup of hers than she ought to.
As the students’ eyes scanned and read the boring unfamiliar article about banned Dark curses, Erwin found his gaze drifting to Hanji Zoë more than usual. He had thought that the Ravenclaws would be the happiest to learn following the new system of the Ministry. They usually liked big books and as little action as possible. Maybe this prefect was different? He couldn’t be quite so sure- he had heard Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher, praise the excellently intellectual Hanji Zoë up, down, left, and right. At first Erwin was interested in meeting this wonderfully talented student and learning a few of what she knew, but all his admiration screeched to a stop when he finally recognized her identity in his fifth year- the insufferable muggleborn Ravenclaw who thought she was a cut above the rest because of her good grades. He’d heard enough of his endless praising little less than a day ago, on their first day, and now the very sight of the woman made him want to snap his wand in half.
Since the sudden revelation of her true identity, Erwin Smith wanted to hurl every time he heard her name: Hanji Zoë this, Hanji Zoë that. Erwin was actually worried they’d place her as Head Girl beside him. They were still choosing someone who’d fit the position as the supposed girl and her family ‘disappeared mysteriously’ over the summer. There was a very high chance they’d replace her with Hanji. Erwin prayed the headmaster had the sense not to burden her and her know-it-all mouth with him.
But now she was agreeing with him. Hanji Zoë actually spoke his thoughts exactly- where was the actual learning and practical magic?
Erwin, pretending to study the subject of banned magic, thought the matter over in the small assigned space of time Professor Umbridge gave them.
He must have subconsciously read the same line over and over three times with his thoughts drifting so much before Umbridge demanded their attention.
“Now, before I submerge deep into our topic, I want to ask a few of you flourishing adults a few questions according to what your previous teacher had taught you last year- despite how badly he applied the curriculum,” she added as an afterthought, as though she felt pity for them. That comment made Erwin feel a bit angry. Professor Mad-Eye Moody was an excellent professor. His back straightened, ready to feel more alive and study Professor Umbridge’s character more. “Although Professor Dumbledore must have made sure you studied this topic, I will revise it with you. What are the three Unforgivable Curses, and why has the Ministry banned them?” Umbridge asked as she stirred yet another teaspoon of sugar into her teacup.
Several hands shot up in the air, their owners eager to answer a question as easy as that. Professor Moody had taught them those last year- their sixth year. They had a lot of fun testing them out on each other, the Slytherins, sometimes for gentle provoking and mostly for the sake of education- until, of course, some Gryffindor by the name of Mike Zacharius hexed one of Erwin’s prefects into climbing the tree in the grounds and swinging in its branches in a brave attempt to stop him from ‘downright bullying’ some other Hufflepuff girl he was always with. After the long lectures Professor Moody was given by a vexed Professor McGonnagall, the art of using the Unforgivable Curses at all was banned.
Reluctantly, Erwin’s hand rose too.
He did the mistake of making eye contact with Hanji Zoë.
“Well- you, head boy!” Professor Umbridge chirped, setting her teacup down. “Answer, and a point to Slytherin if you get the correct answer!”
Erwin cleared his throat. “There are three curses: the Imperius, Cruciatus, and the Avada Kedavra. The Imperius controls over the victim’s actions totally. The Cruciatus causes extreme pain, pain unlike any other, but no physical harm. The Avada Kedavra, the last curse, is the worst. It is the Killing Curse.”
“And why has the Ministry banned them?”
“Because the Death Eaters used them in forcing people into their will.”
Immediately Professor Umbridge’s eager face expression transformed into a big pout. “I’m afraid that’s the wrong answer, dear. But a point to Slytherin for trying nonetheless!”
Out of the corner of his eye Erwin spotted the Ravenclaw members sniggering and pointing at him amongst themselves. He scowled- for was his expertise not in the Dark Arts? He waited for Hanji Zoë to make a snarky remark, but it never came. Instead she raised her hand again.
Umbridge allowed her to comment. “Professor, we’re sure we know this point. Professor Moody explained that himself, word for word.”
Erwin’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. Was she complimenting his ability to memorize Moody’s explanations? Christ.
But there was no doubt about it now. She agreed with him.
And he too agreed. “It’s true, Professor,” he said unexpectedly, causing all of the heads in the room to turn to him. “This system is one we are not used to.”
“Now, dear.” Umbridge said sweetly. “The Minister himself has called Mad-Eye Moody an unfitting teacher for this subject. He is getting old in age, and he is so paranoid that he attacks trash cans on a daily basis,” she exaggerated. “Besides, dear- this system is approved by the Ministry of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Education! What better justification do you need than that?”
Hanji Zoë sighed and kept quiet.
The session went on, with Professor Umbridge explaining the ‘true precise reason’ for the banning of the Dark Arts (“because they pose a danger to our harmless, harmonic wizarding society.”) Erwin silently calculated her person. His overall conclusion? Spy.
When the session finally ended, some of the Slytherins struck up conversations with the Ravenclaws. It was the only spell cast that afternoon- a sudden moment where Ravenclaws and Slytherins spoke to each other normally.
“This is our new teacher?”
“Man, she’s a nightmare.”
“Hey, you Ravenclaws are good at this hexing business; why not cast a good Impedimenta on her? I would love to see her land on that pink bottom of hers...”
“No way, I’m too scared of getting caught...”
“She’s still horrible!”
“I know, right?”
“Ah, I see your eyebrows are just multiplying in size every day.”
Erwin turned around, a fierce expression fixed on his face. “I beg of your pardon?” he asked dangerously.
Hanji Zoë was oblivious to the glares she got from his posse. Nile rolled his eyes and pinched his nose, as though Hanji emitted some awful smell. Marie narrowed her eyes in disgust. She wasn’t fazed by the unimpressed Slytherins. She pushed her pince-nez up so that they stayed on the bridge of her nose and smiled dorkishly. “Sorry, heh- I show my greetings with teasing.” Clearing her throat, she then continued: “Hey- wanna experiment with me to get Umbridge to her snapping point? I wanted to sew a beeper into her cloak, but I keep remembering that electricity doesn’t work inside the Hogwarts grounds and castle-“
“God, God, we get it! Sheesh, we’re leaving,” an exasperated Marie suddenly exclaimed, sounding as though she wanted to get away as far as possible. “Honestly, you act as though we actually like listening to you, much less seeing your know-it-all face beaming all over Umbridge- ‘what about real learning, professor?’” she mocked her tone exactly, making Nile snigger.
Hanji didn’t care, or act like she cared. She only sighed and looked at her wristwatch. “Do hurry up with the taunting- lunch has begun, and I want to speak to the head boy and have time to eat something and not starve.”
Marie’s smug expression turned into one not unlike a shocked banshee’s. “Why, the nerve of-“
Erwin turned to her, speaking seriously. “Head on to the Great Hall. It’s obviously something important.”
With a roll of her eyes, Marie obeyed, making sure to flip her caramel hair on the way. Nile followed only out of disgust- he wasn’t one to stay in the presence of a muggleborn for more than he could bear.
Erwin turned back to an impatient Hanji. “You were saying, Bennett?”
“My point is, not everyone learns the same way! Some are visual, some are auditory and some are kinesthetic- I think I am a healthy mix of all of them, what about you, Eyebrows- BUT NO! She had to take away this style- this system is corrupt, I tell you- the system is corrupt- I think we deserve to have the freedom of speech here- show us some liberty!”
Hanji paused for the merest second, to take a break. She grabbed Erwin’s hands and shook them to emphasize her point. “-give me liberty, or give me death! –but anyways the snapping point for an average person is about fifteen minutes and I really want to see the reactions- do they differ from a person who has no power to how much authority one person holds? Does stress derive from that-?”
She looked like a maniac at that moment, as her grip on his hands got tighter and tighter. She was maddened by questions and knowledge, but why did she choose a Slytherin out of all people to vent all her anger and craze on? Because this was the first Slytherin not only to question the system, but as well as support her.
People simply ignored the couple, weaving past them, hurrying to get to the Great Hall.
Erwin tried his best to ignore the crazed girl’s iron grip on his hands. Patiently and courteously, he tried his best to reply with intimidating her off.
“I agree with you. In fact, I would love to converse with you some more about this warped Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, but I’m afraid not all of us feel comfortable having their hands gripped by Ravenclaw muggleborns.”
He gave a sigh of relief when she let go. “I have no doubt that Professor Umbridge is up to something foul. We heard her speech yesterday. I’ve never seen anyone cut into Headmaster Dumbledore like that...” he trailed off as he narrowed his eyes at two faltering Gryffindor first-years. They hastened in their speed after falling under his sight.
His cold gaze returned to the over-charged Hanji Zoë. (Who hexed her at birth? he wondered) “You’re right, prefect. This system of hers is corrupt to the point of rotting. The Dark Arts are not something you could defend yourself from just by reading from a Ministry-licensed textbook. But,” he straightened his shoulders formally, “I cannot allow our interference. This woman is dangerous- she’s part of the Minister’s clique. Anything out of the usual that goes around here... is reported to him. You could get Hogwarts in danger if you mess about so rashly with her. You ARE loyal to Professor Dumbledore... aren’t you?” he drawled accusing, boring through her thick-lens glasses and into her eyes. “I am on good terms with all house members- everyone. I am Head Boy, remember. Students are easy to be acquainted with, but Professors... well, you can’t just hex Umbridge with an Impedimenta and laugh with her about it. If we interfere, this class will be hell for us. No, we need to have a wiser approach...”
Hanji looked at him, took hold of her glasses, wiped the fog forming on the lenses, and placed the pair on top of her head. Without them, she looked almost menacing. She glared up at him (for she was quite shorter than Erwin) and retorted:
“I am loyal to Dumbledore, head boy.” She narrowed her eyes. “And the name’s Hanji Zoë. Not ‘Ravenclaw’, not ‘Bennett’- Hanji Zoë. You use my name when you’re talking to me, capeesh?”
She looked almost furious with him now for daring to question her. “And what do you mean ‘muggleborn Ravenclaw’? There’s nothing wrong with not being a stuck-up Pureblood the likes of you! Besides- at least my family is still together and intact, unlike yours!”
As soon as those words exited her lips, she clapped a hand over her mouth.
“Hey- Erwin, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that-“she said hurriedly as she quickly wrapped her arms around him.
“You should have left that subject alone,” he heard himself say. Hanji Zoë’s sudden gesture shocked him, but, if anything, the insult rang in his head repeatedly. He saw her body against his, felt the tight grip of her black robes around his torso, but felt none of her warmth in return. In his anger, he was immune to such feeling.
“I know what you meant,” he said through clenched teeth as she let go awkwardly, “but I’ll have you know that while your- your-“he struggled not to say the word, not to go as lowly down as the other Slytherins-“idle people do nothing to benefit the world, my kin protected them. If you don’t believe me, for that matter- then why won’t you ask your beloved Professor Flitwick?” Erwin could feel his hands shaking and his face pale with white rage. He itched- oh, how he desired- to cast a nice satisfying Stunning spell on her, to grasp his wand and paint wonders with his anger... but he held himself just in time. Again, he closed his eyes. He opened them.
“Forgive me, Hanji Zoë. Yes, it is true- your family, in all its happy, lucky glory, is so much better than mine for being intact. Frankly I do not give a damn about whether they are purebloods or not. I have never met them.” As apologetic as his words were, his tone remained cold and unforgiving. “Your loyalty to Dumbledore is promising. Now, I don’t know whether you believe in the rumors of You-Know-Who’s return, but it is best to keep cautious anyway. Professor Flitwick thinks very highly of you, and says you should live up to your potential even more than usual. I don’t know about that either,” he growled. “I hate not knowing.”
Without another word to the Ravenclaw, Erwin turned to the Great Hall’s direction, his robes swishing as he left.
