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Ok so I haven't updated my stories in a while, well expect eyes wide open I posted yesterday but I've had this idea in my head for a while so I had to get it down.
yes, it doesn't really feature Ron so much, mostly because I find him to be a problematic character, and it's late so I shan't deal with his negativity.
that's enough from me enjoy this random bit of fanfiction.
The Gryffindor fifth years are stood outside waiting for double DADA with Slytherin and the professor from hell, when harry turns to Hermione. "You know what Hermione I think your right,"
"Harry when am I not." She interrupts with a cheeky smile. Causing Neville and Ron to snigger.
Choosing for once to ignore the comments from the Slytherin side of the hall harry continues, he has bigger fish to fry today "Hermione we've talked about this It's okay to be smarter than everyone else, but you can't go around pointing it out". He pats her shoulder gently in commiseration, but the smirk on his face says otherwise.
"But why not?" She laughs trying to look stern.
"Because people don't like it, remember how much you got your ass kicked as a kid," He stage whispers as the Gryffindor's try to control their laughter.
"That was different they were threatened by my intelligence and too stupid to know that was why they hated me." She nods her head as if to say end of discussion, wrapping her arms tighter around her schoolbooks she turns and engages Neville in a herbology discussion.
He flicks her ear, startled she whirls around to glare at him.
"Anyway as I was saying you were right; violence is the way to go this morning."
"When did she choose violence," Seamus asks confused dean at his side head tilted waiting for an answer.
"She was just un-caffeinated, and Ron interrupted her." Neville explains but harry just shushes him.
She looks around at the Gryffindor's gathered watching them with amusement clear on their faces, she heaves a sigh "You know the rules potter."
Harry gives her a manic grin as she starts to gather her hair up into a bun. She grabs her wand from the holster on her arm, sliding it into her hair to hold it in place, Harry's wand joins it seconds later.
"What are they doing?" Lavender whispers.
"Being as problematic as possible," at the identical grins on their faces Neville rubs a hand over his face. "it's going to be a long morning isn't it."
"But Nev we're going to have so much fun." Hermione laughs.
Parvati leans around Lavender to question the further but is cut of as the classroom door swings open. Her mouth snaps shut. She sends a helpless shrug to her best friend leading her into the room.
Seamus and Dean don't have to say anything, they know they will enjoy the show they always do, instead they hurry into the class with a nod.
Linking arms Harry and Hermione stroll into the classroom at a leisurely pace.
"Huthum, mister Potter, miss Granger Education decree 26."
"Yes, yes professor our bad male and female students cant be closer than 6 inches." With a grin worthy of his godfather Harry spins on his heels and lays a smacking kiss on an unassuming Neville."
Umbridge stuttering in the back grounds gives Neville the time to regain his composer.
"A little wet harry, you might want to work on that." Even the Slytherins can't help but snigger at that.
"Mister Potter, Education decree 26."
"Does nothing to stop two boys or two girls from getting more than 6 inches apart, it's very gender-specific." Hermione interrupts her before she can roll into one of her rants. "Come on Harry we can sit at the front."
The entire room is frozen as the Gryffindor princess and boy who lived willing walked to the front of the class and sat right in front of one Dolores Umbridge. She herself stunned took a minute to collect herself.
"Turn to chapter 12 and make notes." With a flick of her wand the words she just spoke wrote themselves on the board.
Neither Harry nor Hermione make a move, choosing instead to recline in their chairs, arms folded over chests.
"Is there a problem? Mister Potter miss Granger."
"No problem, Dolores I've just decided I'm bored of writing notes on a book that is completely worthless ministry propaganda." The entire class is staring at the bookworm transfixed, shit is about to go down. And chances are Umbridge isn't going to make it.
"That is professor Umbridge to you, miss granger." She seethes wand held tightly in both hands.
Hermione cuts her off for the second time, still reclining back completely calm as if she isn't arguing with a crazy woman "I'll call you professor when you actually get around to teaching me something."
"How dare you I." she stands up straighter glaring at the young witch Infront of her.
"You what, you recite ministry propaganda, I bet you don't ever have teaching qualifications" Harry jumps in not willing to let Hermione have all the fun. He shifts to rest his elbows on the table, resting his head on his hands, giving Umbridge a bored smile as Hermione Laughs.
The entire class and hanging on their every word, is this it are they finally going to break her.
"The ministry probably gave her a certificate, I mean she does spend so much time up the minister's ass, he probably did it just to get rid of her for a while, I mean I would." Her eyes meet Harry's completely delighted in their unprompted battle of the wits.
"How dare you, you mud." Audible gasps from around the room, even the Slytherin are shocked that a teacher, even one as vile as Umbridge would use that word.
"What Mud blood Dolores, I might be a mud blood Umbitch but I'm twice the witch you will ever be, did you even graduate Hogwarts," Hermione fire back as soon as she freezes mid-sentence.
"They probably only passed her to get rid of her, let's be honest who wants to keep her around." Harry adds with a smirk worthy of his father.
"I will have order in this classroom." Nobody on the Gryffindor side of the room hears Draco mutter doubtful after that display but the Slytherin nod their heads in agreement with him, she's sunk.
"No, you won't you are done in this school." Harry is done playing he is bored of her and her messed-up games.
"I am the head mistress." She shrieks brandishing her wand at the two teens. The scraping of chairs had her looking up startled, she finds herself at the ends of every Gryffindor wand, all of them stand united behind Harry and Hermione wands drawn at Umbridge unyielding, she recoils slightly keeping her wand drawn at the two. Who ironically, haven't moved to defend themselves. Harry has even lent back in his seat completely calm for a boy of 15 with a wand at his head.
"I suggest headmistress, that you lower your wand." Harry states with no care in the world completely unbothered.
"You best listen to him, if you don't, we are going to draw ours and I can assure you there wouldn't be enough of you left to scrape into a match box when I'm done with you."
As Hermione is talking, Harry raises a hand making a motion to his housemates. They lower their wands in sync, not moving to put them away.
Hermione stands hands braced against the desk as Umbridge lowers her wand reluctantly. "You want to know your mistake Umbitch."
"You got rid of Dumbledore," Hermione sends harry a sharp look.
"HARRY, I'm talking,"
"Sorry, Mia."
"As he said you got rid of Dumbledore, you had several of your Aurors dumbass goons curse McGonagall." She pauses taking a deep breath. A little shocked by the complete silence in the room. "And now you are trapped in a school with an entire house that nobody can control. She smiles kicking back her chair, "Basically headmistress," The word dripping with sarcasm, "You're screwed."
In union they pull their wands from hemiones hair, her curls cascading down her shoulders effortlessly. Umbridge flinches as they flick their wands, not at her but to the side, silently they produce 2 fully corporal Patronus, both move again in sync to speak to them Hermione bending down to whisper to her otter, they both watch as the otter and stag glide out of the room.
Harry not to be out done speaks one last time, "You want a war Umbitch, you got a war. But this is not one you can win, not again us."
He walks to the door kicking it open he holds it open, gesturing for his fellow Gryffindor's to follow, Hermione waits until last watching the woman for any sighs of malice, as she gets to the back of the classroom, she turns her head to meet the witch's eye one last time, "Just remember you asked for this." She raps her knuckles on the edge of the table all the books left behind by the Gryffindor students burst into flames.
Sooooo, what do you think,
I'm not sure yet if this is just gonna be a one-shot or just random Umbridge bashing so let me know if you want to see more.