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There was so much blood. He felt like he was never going to be clean again. He was a Doctor it wasn't his first time seeing this much blood but this was different. This wasn't just anyone's blood.
Why were people so selfish? Why was she so selfish?
John let out a small gasp. She was gone.
And there was nothing he could do to save her. She had lost to much blood by the time he'd kicked in the door.
It was bad enough that she had killed herself but did she have to call him at the last minute so that he could do nothing but stand by and watch her die?
What was he saying?
She just didn't want to be alone. How could he blame her? She was gone and here he was criticizing her for reaching out to him in her last moments.
There was just so much blood.
He knew that the average human body contained 5.6 liters of blood and it felt like every drop of Harry's was covering him.
John vaguely sensed Sherlock guiding him to Lestrade's vehicle that was parked in front of Harry's flat.
Although he didn't recall the journey home he found himself seated on the toilet as Sherlock filled the bath with water. He could smell the musk scented wash that Sherlock was partial to.
"Come on, John let's get you cleaned up."
John felt Sherlock tugging at his clothes helping him to pull of the blood soaked jumper. John recalled that it had been a gift from Harry two Christmas's ago. It was ruined now. Everything was ruined.
"Come on, John. Arm's up." Sherlock continued by pulling John's undershirt off. The blood had seeped through to his skin.
Harry's blood.
Sherlock continued to undress John, removing his pants and underwear until he was completely naked. John found himself obeying Sherlock's request to enter the bath. Sherlock proceeded to wash away the sticky blood gently scrubbing John clean with the cotton washcloth. Sherlock drained and refilled the bath twice until the suds where no longer pink with blood.
At last Sherlock gently washed away the blood that was smeared on John's face and he found himself talking.
"She was the last family that I had and I couldn't save her. I'm a bloody doctor why couldn't I save her? I'm so utterly useless."
"Shush," Sherlock said, gently pressing the pads of his fingers to John's lips enforcing his order.
"You are not useless. In fact you are quite indispensable. None of this is your fault John. You where a good brother to her. Some people are just broken and can't be fixed. Believe me John. You could never be useless."
Sherlock placed a gentle kiss against John's temple and then reached out to grab his hands to assist him in stepping out of the bath.
"Come on John. Let's get you dry. I for one could use a spot of tea and maybe you could do with something a bit stronger. And another thing John, she's not the only family that you have. You've got me for better or worse. It's going to be okay."