Work Text:
White canvas. A brush stained by a varying degree of colors. Still clean. A palette with three shades of white. There’s a tone for everything, and Dragonspine is predominantly made out of a rainbow of white, more or less.
Teal eyes scan the environment. A white bird hops around in the snow before him. It's a good distance. He can't possibly frighten it away.
Albedo picks up the brush and coats it with a generous amount of paint, the one that has a tinge of blue. He dabs it onto the canvas, and listens to the crunchy sound it makes.
Snow can only be so detailed.
Still a white canvas, with the smallest amount of blue. The bird sings a lonely song. The brush sings with it, in a slightly different tune.
Albedo ignores that strange pulse inside of him and thinks about Kaeya instead.
If he were to be honest, Albedo didn't think that his proposal with the Cavalry Captain would have gone as swimmingly as it did. It was, after all, quite a strange idea, especially coming from him, a person with hardly any open interest in human relations.
"Teach me about connection."
Kaeya humored him, of course.
"My, I daresay you're going to have to be more specific, dear alchemist," he had said with a teasing lilt to his voice, "Connection? Between two wires? Or two elements? I do suppose you already know that cryo and geo are quite compatible even in their natural states, so you likely won't need that kind of teaching, right?"
Albedo runs out of paint on his brush and he carefully reaches over to his palette sitting on a wooden stool. The bird continues to sing that sulky melody. It leaves tiny footprints on the thick snow.
"Connection between people."
Albedo isn't clueless. He understands the foundation of human interaction.
As a Knight, he has obligations to at least acknowledge his fellow coworkers who are mostly kind and polite to him. Mostly, because Lisa has quite the mouth whenever she sees him scouring through ancient texts of alchemy, and Kaeya is – well – Kaeya.
He fosters frequent interaction with both Sucrose and Timaeus not only as their mentor, but also their friend.
And Klee is his beloved little sister. One that causes more trouble for him than not, but Albedo wouldn't ask for anything otherwise.
Yes, Albedo has plenty of necessary relationships.
He simply doesn’t have the time nor many opportunities for anything more, the kind that transcends platonic and familial ones.
Albedo hums. If his master had definitively given him something other than this cursed body, Albedo can ascertain it must be curiosity. He would do nearly anything to satiate it.
The bird stops singing. It tilts its head instead, beady eyes staring at a single leaf that drifts to marry the frozen floor.
When it lands, the bird continues its serenade and Albedo continues to capture its likeness.
Albedo remembers how Kaeya tapped his fountain pen with intrigue, how his interest visibly piqued judging by the glint in his eye.
"More specific, Albedo."
Kaeya dipped his pen back into its ink well, and let it soak there for the remainder of Albedo’s visit.
That jesting expression of his softened when Albedo had looked to the floorboards instead, ears flushing into a faint shade of pink that would have gone unnoticed by untrained eyes. Kaeya blinked, 'is he embarrassed?'
Kaeya smiled gently, "I apologize. I'm being too mean, aren't I?"
No response, but Albedo did let air out of his nose.
"Of course I could help you with your little… experiment, I guess we could call it," Kaeya continued, "But may I ask why you thought I was the best choice?"
Albedo lifted his head to look at Kaeya. He observed his face, the look in his eye, the curve of his lips, just to make sure his hypothesis wasn't wrong. They seldom were, but he just wanted to be absolute.
"I wouldn’t say you are the most discreet in the way you look at me," Albedo said and Kaeya hummed, "There must be some kind of preexisting interest there."
"You have a sharp eye as usual, but do not misunderstand. I am allowing you to notice such advances on purpose."
The sound of footsteps approach Albedo from behind and his paintbrush stills against his canvas. He listens but doesn't turn.
He continues to think.
"Do you believe me to be that dense?"
Kaeya placed a hand over his chest in feigned hurt, "Of course not! I just wanted to make sure my intentions are clear."
Albedo remembers the way Kaeya’s eye looked in that moment.
How that pale shade of periwinkle became clear of any mystery and secret for the entire duration of several simple words. A sky stripped bare of any fog or cloud, allowing the stars to shine at their brightest.
Albedo remembers his heart skipping just the tiniest bit, and how he first perceived it as pain.
"I suppose I owe you the truth now. I quite like you."
That was what Kaeya told him.
The footsteps behind stop several inches short of him. They are patient and waiting for Albedo to make the first move.
So he does, and it starts with dunking his paintbrush into its home in a jar full of water that quickly becomes milky from the leftover white on the bristles.
Kaeya placed his chin on his upturned palm, gazing upon Albedo, "Tell me, how does that make you feel?"
"I'm not sure."
And it was the honest truth. This would be the first time he ever heard such a straightforward confession directed towards him. Albedo wasn't sure how he felt about it, and also didn't know why his heart was reacting with such a strange twinge.
"Alright, then here is my first lesson about the connection you seek. The fact that you noticed me staring at you these days implies that you had been staring as well, so go ahead and leave that idea to simmer in that pretty head of yours, and maybe soon you'll understand how you feel."
Albedo finally turns to find Kaeya in the line of his outstretched shadow. The sun is not so young anymore, the sky now imbued with a warm color that spreads across the horizon.
"I've been looking all over the place for you," Kaeya tells him, "The Adventurer's Guild wasn't joking when they said you were quite the elusive one."
Albedo offers a small smile, "Apologies. I find it difficult to stay put when there are so many interesting subjects on this mountain."
“Oh? Like what?”
Albedo turns back to his canvas, “Well, for example…”
He talks about the tiny bird. How it sings to no one in particular, but it speaks volumes to him. The little creature leaves behind its mark on the world, but sooner or later, it will be covered up by a thin blanket of frost.
And it will just have to make its mark again.
Albedo tells Kaeya about the hilichurls, how they’re more apt to huddle near warm fires. They like to dance around them, a funny way of ignoring the frigid weather around them.
The aurora is also very beautiful in Dragonspine. They’re much clearer than they are from his lab in Mondstadt or the window in his bedroom. But even when he spends many of his evenings here, painting the brilliance of the natural lights, Albedo still can’t seem to perfectly replicate them.
Which isn’t a problem to him.
The world, as it is, creates such perfect imperfections that the human hand can only hope to imitate so much of. It isn’t something Albedo dwells too much on.
Well, except for one thing.
“Those are all quite lovely and all…” Kaeya tells Albedo as he picks up his brush again, “But are you one to say that snow is fascinating?”
It is.
It is to Albedo.
“Yes, because it is so incredibly simple, and not many things are as such these days,” Albedo sighs, smudging his charcoal sketch as he starts to paint the little bird’s wings, “Considering the many intricacies of my research, I would like to indulge in more… pure subjects. Like snow.”
Kaeya makes a noise of comprehension as he takes in Albedo’s words. He walks closer to the alchemist’s side, watching how focused he is on painting his bird. He wouldn’t seem it, but Albedo is a skilled artist, the same way he is adept with a sword. The small animal is brought to life in a matter of minutes, immortalized with acrylic on a once blank canvas.
Kaeya finds it interesting that the bird is, in contrast, much more elaborate than the snow that Albedo believes is its equal in terms of appeal.
But snow can only be so detailed.
A quiet gasp escapes Albedo’s lips when the bird suddenly flies away, soaring towards the sinking sun. Time eludes him; he hadn’t realized how late it had been getting. Albedo wonders if Kaeya is here because he would have forgotten to come home again and Klee had asked the captain ahead of time to pick up her brother.
But when Kaeya speaks again, Albedo realizes he’s not here because of that.
He’s here because of what Albedo had asked him the day before.
Kaeya walks over to where the bird once was, “Hm, I suppose you’re right.”
That lone eye of his looks at the footprints left behind. He doesn’t remember Albedo ever adding them to his painting.
“Snow is simple and pure, the way love should be. Would you agree?”
Albedo steps back from his canvas. Kaeya peers at him from behind it with a smile on his face. He glances over at the palette, ‘ who knew snow had this many shades?’
“I wouldn’t know,” Albedo answers, words drifting away as he starts to clean up his things. The painting is as finished as he deems it to be.
Kaeya helps him out, carefully removing the canvas from its easel, “I think you would. You love Klee, don’t you?”
Albedo nods. Of course he does. She means the world to him.
“Right, and you answered that so quickly. I love Klee as well, and I can say that without a second thought,” Kaeya goes on, collapsing the easel in on itself so that it’s easier to carry, “You see, love is simple when it isn’t riddled with unnecessary complications.”
This must be one of Kaeya’s lessons.
So Albedo listens intently, with an eager desire to learn something new.
It isn’t just about learning about connection and relationships though. It’s also an opportunity to get to know Kaeya more, a man who is capable of speaking so much while still revealing so little about himself.
There’s a pulse again, right in Albedo’s wrist. A subtle burn, and then it’s gone.
Perhaps they are alike in that aspect. Hiding.
Albedo studies Kaeya’s expression, “Complications? You say that as though it’s from experience.”
Kaeya laughs, his breath manifesting into the air like a phantom, “Well of course it is. How else does one learn without any experiences? Believe it or not, love isn’t the kindest to me.”
Even though his words speak of some form of cruelty, Kaeya doesn’t look very sad. He takes Albedo’s satchel full of stained brushes and small jars of paint despite the blond’s protests. The only thing left for Albedo to tote around is that painting of a bird long gone.
“Really?” Albedo asks, referring to Kaeya’s past love affairs or whatever he would call them, “From what I would hear, you’re usually caught up in it. That’s why I was taken aback when you… expressed interest in someone like me.”
Another laugh, though more bitter. Twilight is taking its rightful place in the atmosphere now, and the stars are ever ready for it.
“My reputation precedes me, it seems,” Kaeya grimaces slightly, shaking his head, “But I hope that in time, you can help change the outcomes I’ve grown used to. Think of it as a fair exchange for helping you with this curiosity of yours.”
“I– hm, I’m not sure I know what you mean. My knowledge is still rather limited in this concept,” Albedo replies. From where they stand together, he can see the lights of Mondstadt coming alive, little balls that glow from afar, beckoning their adventurers to come home.
Kaeya blows in his ear, which startles Albedo slightly. His breath is nearly as cool as Dragonspine breezes, but he can’t say that that’s so surprising.
“Yes, I know, but you’re a quick study so I’m not worried about you,” Kaeya smiles.
Albedo’s heart aches again, but he finds that it might not be pain like he initially thought.
“Now come on, starlight, let’s head home. I don’t want you thinking too much about the things I said.”
Albedo breathes in.
‘Starlight?’
He follows Kaeya closely, grateful for the celestial bodies above for the light they provide. He follows, until Kaeya slows his pace so that the two of them are walking side by side instead.
Albedo thinks he prefers it this way.
Albedo has learned two things so far.
One being that Kaeya is something that has been hanging around in his head for a reason he cannot seem to pinpoint. Considering his lack of understanding to be frustrating is a bit of an overstatement. But Albedo won’t deny that the thought is on the backburner of his mind, an itch he still can’t scratch.
The second thing is that love is as simple as snow, and Kaeya hasn’t been so lucky with it contrary to popular opinion.
But as Albedo lies on his bed while staring at the ceiling, he starts to ponder about whether snow is as simple as he believes. If one were to look upon it, it is just crystals of ice layered on top of one another.
White.
Yet there must be much more to it than that. Snow covers many secrets beneath it that have yet to be uncovered, and Dragonspine harbors an environment that results in many of them never seeing the light of day.
The alchemist starts to question if the color of snow truly is white.
Albedo curls in on himself as he winces. That strange pulse has returned, counting his numbered days.
He always thought he had much more in him, but his blood boils and beckons for his underlying corruption to surface. There will come a day where Albedo can no longer suppress it and Kaeya will know of it.
He inhales sharply. It feels like his ribs are caging him in too much.
The feeling eventually subsides, a fleeting memory.
As he tries to sleep, Albedo’s final thoughts are whether or not love is still the same as snow.
"Has anyone ever told you that you are a pleasure to look at?"
Albedo snorts, "Well, you have now."
Kaeya stretches his long limbs out in front of him. These wooden chairs Albedo has in his campsite are not the most comfortable, and the oak creaking in protest is confirmation of that.
"I haven't even said it yet. I just posed a question," the Knight corrects, "But yes. You are a sight for sore eyes, and I sort of hate how you don't seem aware of it."
Suddenly conscious of his appearance, Albedo tucks a strand of hair behind his ear as he continues to work at his desk. He doesn’t know what to say to that so he says nothing at all.
"So am I the first to tell you that?" Kaeya goes on. If it's true, Kaeya is both surprised and pleased. More of the former.
Albedo wastes no time nodding his head, "Yes. I don't think such an adjective has ever been attached to my likeness."
He scribbles more notes into his journal. Albedo finds himself frowning that there is a growing list of things he should be concerned about, particularly the strange occurrences going on in his body.
"Not true," Kaeya tuts, "Oh, you should hear the sort of things some of our fellow Knights say about you. You're quite popular. I find myself having to say a couple words to dampen their hopes."
Albedo almost sneezes. He shuts his notebook with a louder slam than intended and the flame that lights his candle sways from the impact.
"And why would you need to do that?"
"Because I like you, starlight."
Kaeya has always been straightforward. Albedo is already getting used to the coined pet name, and it's only been several days since the first time it was used.
He likes that Kaeya is so honest with him.
It makes things more simple. Like snow.
Still, even though he's starting to get used to Kaeya’s honeyed words that spill effortlessly from a practiced tongue, Albedo finds that he’s quite embarrassed.
"You don't need to say it every time," Albedo says, words trailing as he moves away from his desk. He's in dire need for something else to concern himself with. He finds Sucrose’s notes beneath a clearly-experimented-on pot of calla lilies near his bookshelves and decides that it is worthy enough of his attention.
Kaeya turns around in his seat and rests his chin on top of the headrest. It’s harsh against his bone, so he uses his hand as a cushion.
He watches how Albedo’s eyes scan the nervous manuscript before him, thumb catching the next page for easier access. The calla lilies are rather droopy. Kaeya wonders what sort of thing Sucrose had done to them.
“Why not? You don’t think it’s nice to hear?” Kaeya laughs, “My, you would be the first to feel that way with me.”
“No, it’s not that…” Albedo mutters, folding the corner of one of Sucrose’s pages to discuss something with her another time, ”Well, I don’t know. It’s a strange thing to be told.”
Kaeya snorts. He stands up from his chair to travel the distance between them, taking his place by Albedo’s side. The pyres at the mouth of the cave crackle with delight as a breeze weaves through the flames, a contradictory dance.
“Then I think it’s time for you…”
Albedo yelps when Kaeya suddenly sweeps him off his feet, the notes in his hand crinkling from his grip. His face becomes hotter even despite the weather outside, and Albedo wants to blame it on nearby torches and whatnot.
“...to get used to it.”
Albedo hides his face, “Please put me down.”
“That isn’t fun. I quite enjoy seeing our normally stoic alchemist so flustered like this,” Kaeya teases, adjusting his hold before spinning around with Albedo still in his arms, “You are very cute.”
Albedo isn’t sure how to react. He isn’t used to the heat crawling up his neck like this. It feels so hot that he wishes he didn’t have his signature coat on, or didn’t have Kaeya’s furs so close to his cheek.
It didn’t help that cursed blood travels through his veins, flaming hot like a dragon’s breath.
Having had his fun, Kaeya relents to Albedo’s silent protests and puts him down gently, ensuring that the blond’s feet are square on the floor before he takes his hands off of him. He smiles at Albedo’s expression, or lack thereof because he is still covering most of it with Sucrose’s ruined findings.
“I’m sorry,” Kaeya apologizes, but his small smile remains, “I won’t do it again if you don’t like it. I just find it hard to resist you.”
Albedo sighs, tucking the papers back under the plant. He hasn’t brought his eyes to meet with Kaeya’s, cautious that he may flush red once again. He looks to the books on his shelves instead, feeling drawn to one about color theory.
“I didn’t say I hated it.”
Kaeya blinks before laughing, warm unlike the vision at his hip. Noting the way the sun has tucked itself to sleep beneath a blanket of glittering stars, Albedo grabs his things in a hurry.
When he leaves,
Kaeya follows
and
it’s then and there that he realizes he’s falling even more for the not-quite-so-aloof alchemist.
It won’t be much longer until, in the back of Albedo’s troubled mind, it becomes likewise.
Some time passes, and Kaeya and Albedo are rarely ever seen apart.
The people of Mondstadt harbor one of two reactions towards the duo. Either they hardly bat an eye, especially considering Kaeya has had his eye on Albedo for a while now – or some are quite disappointed that they’ve seemingly lost their chance with the charming Cavalry Captain.
Albedo knows of the latter. Some are even bold enough to pester him about it when he’s working in broad daylight.
He’s lucky that his assistants are not normally around to hear such fueled accusations and suspicions.
But today is not one of those days.
A young maiden approaches Albedo as he’s showing Sucrose and Timaeus the most efficient way to create resin out of crystalflies for the traveler whenever they are in need.
With as much patience as he can muster, Albedo puts down his materials to offer the woman his undivided attention, even if he knows he will likely lose it once she opens her mouth.
“Sorry to bother you,” she says with the slight bow of her head, “But… are the rumors true? You and Sir Kaeya are lovers?”
Albedo doesn’t flinch at the sound of glass breaking by his side accompanied by Sucrose’s audible stammering and Timaeus’ exaggerated gasp. Albedo calmly shakes his head, and he can visibly see both confusion and relief manifest on the woman’s face.
“You’re mistaken,” is all Albedo says, and it isn’t far from the truth, “We are merely good friends. I hope hearing it from me quells any worry you may have.”
The woman nods, “Y-Yes. Thank you for your time…”
Just as straightforward as he had been with that lady, Albedo answers all of his assistant’s consequential inquiries. Of course, rumors have to start from something tangible, so he cannot fault them for their curiosity. He also doesn't like it when Sucrose’s brow creases the way it does now, so Albedo doesn’t delay in extinguishing the needless fire.
When all is said and done, Albedo resumes his task of teaching, though a thought lingers somewhere in his mind, wandering lost but free.
It is undeniable that he and Kaeya have grown much closer.
And anyone with sharp eyes can see that sometimes their subtle shared touches are beyond the scope of companionship. Kaeya is a peacock, after all, and his displays of experimental affection can sometimes be much.
Given enough time, Albedo wonders just how long until he himself begins to question whether he and Kaeya are really just friends as he says or
something
more.
At some point, Albedo forgets.
How could he not?
How could he not when Kaeya is so kind to him behind closed doors? The captain loves to kiss his bony knuckles and the spaces between his fingers. He enjoys burying his face into the crook of Albedo’s neck, breathing in all that he is and all that he will ever be.
How could he not when Kaeya’s gentle words, honest ones that had always been masked by a tongue laced in secrecy, always seem to slip out when they are in each other’s company? Those lips tell stories of love and sing songs of future, one that Albedo cannot grasp.
And Kaeya doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know what Albedo had blissfully forgotten.
Because Albedo forgets about Durin’s blood that has afflicted him from the moment his stone-hearted master gave him life. It doesn’t even hurt him anymore when he’s tucked under Kaeya’s arm, listening to hushed humming, low and dark, his new favorite sound.
Albedo forgets that he was damned from the very moment of his birth, and that his hourglass is slowly running, grain by grain, pooling at the bottom of a fragile glass container.
He forgets because, with the only truth he is so sure of, he has fallen in love with Kaeya. Albedo fell in love, even though this is all a temporary arrangement for him to learn about human connection.
Ephemeral.
An experience.
So yes, Albedo forgets that he’s dying.
And because of this honest little mistake, he doesn’t get to tell Kaeya about the cruelty of time, how it will soon be cut short. Albedo just continues to live in their quiet mutual understanding created by two lonely people still learning to navigate.
Kaeya, in just a short matter of time, allowed Albedo to be more than just this husk filled with strange blood and lifeform.
He can be Kaeya’s recipient for much too purple prose.
Welcomed touches.
His 3AM kiss left to live and die in the dark.
Albedo could be all of those wonderful things.
So how kind of fate to one day force him to his knees in front of the Knight, a searing pain coursing through his veins like the hottest, unforgivable fire.
Forcing Albedo to remember what was replaced by thoughts of Kaeya.
Kaeya spares no second thought letting go of the two horses he had prepared for their day out, not even watching as the startled animals gallop away, destroying the earth beneath their heavy hooves. He drops to the ground to gather Albedo in his strong arms, ignoring how hot the blond’s skin feels against his own.
“Starlight? Look at me, tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what you need.”
Kaeya says it as calmly as he can, but panic bubbles in his heart when he hears the way Albedo refuses to scream, even as pain scorches his every nerve. It’s so bad that he’s drawn blood from digging his teeth into his bottom lip, a peculiar color, one that isn’t exactly like Kaeya’s.
But now isn’t the time for any questions.
“Dragonspine…” Albedo tries his best to say without wailing out in agony, “Wyrmrest Valley.”
He doesn’t know why, but Kaeya doesn’t have to. He whistles using two fingers and it’s enough to bring at least one of his horses back to him, his oldest one. Kaeya carefully hoists Albedo onto the horse’s back before hopping on behind him, taking the reins into his shaky hands as they take off to that mountain covered in white.
Kaeya doesn’t stop thinking about Albedo all the way there.
Albedo only thinks of Kaeya. Not his pain or his life or the blindingly white snow that eventually surrounds him, a sight that never seems to let go of him.
He only thinks of Kaeya, hoping that someone he had the pleasure to inexplicably love for just a brief moment of his existence will be the final thought he ever has.
But as the two of them get closer to Durin’s remains, the dragon’s rage starts to subside and Albedo can relax his muscles and breathe properly again. The alchemist makes a mental note to add this new finding to his journal.
Dragonspine will no longer let him leave.
Albedo looks ahead, feeling Kaeya’s rapid heartbeat against his back when he leans into him, “You can stop here.”
His voice is a little hoarse, but he doesn’t remember yelling or crying out.
He can only recall the sound of blood rushing in his head and the incessant ringing in his ears, prolonged and endless. A beckon, a command for his harking.
When their horse stops, Albedo slips off of it, trembling knees managing to hold him upright. Kaeya follows, eye still focused on the red that glows from an unfamiliar cave not too far from where they stand. He ties the horse to a thin tree trunk, petting the loyal creature with gratitude before walking off to cut some distance between him and Albedo, who is already several footsteps ahead.
Approaching the blood red glow.
It doesn’t take much for Kaeya to reach a weakened Albedo, his arm extending out to catch the blond’s wrist. Albedo doesn’t resist him. He stops walking, but doesn’t look at Kaeya.
“You can’t just walk away from me like that after what just happened,” Kaeya says. He would be lying if he says he isn’t angry.
Not necessarily at Albedo, but the fact that he’s being left in the dark after all this time he’s been by his side.
If Kaeya listens carefully, he can hear the sound of a heart pulsing coming from inside the cave, slow and languid, a sign of some other kind of life.
As though Dragonspine is a living being.
Albedo still doesn’t face Kaeya, “I’m sorry. I haven’t been completely honest.”
Kaeya decides to take matters into his own hands. He crosses in front of Albedo, gently taking his hands into his own, begging him to look at him. But those teal eyes remain dull and lifeless, focused on the small space between their black boots surrounded by all this endless snow.
“About what, sunflower?”
Kaeya lets Albedo lead him into that mysterious cavern, hand in hand, like they usually are when no one is watching.
He listens when Albedo tells him about the dead dragon of this mountain, and the kind of blood that runs through his artificial veins. The same blood has dried on Albedo’s wounded lip by now, horrifying yet beautiful all the same.
Kaeya says nothing when Albedo takes one of his hands to press against his chest, his eye watching the way the dragon’s heart beats at the same pace as the alchemist’s. He notices how Albedo looks so sad despite being the type to never let his emotions show on his face so easily.
He supposes that Albedo trusts him enough to show him all of this.
“So what does this all mean then?” Kaeya questions quietly, voice lower than the beating of Durin’s harrowing heart.
“It means that there will come a day when I am no longer in control of… whatever it is that festers inside me,” Albedo answers, unable to hide his growing bitterness.
He takes in a breath, one of however many he has left.
“I don’t know how much longer until I succumb to this corruption,” Albedo tells him, voice drifting, “So knowing all of this, I understand if you no longer wish to teach me what it means to forge a connection.”
Because Albedo already understands.
He already learned.
From behind Kaeya, who remains silent, Albedo watches the way snow has begun its descent from the heavens to join with sheets of white below.
Seafoam eyes blink when Kaeya finally moves, a hand reaching up to brush one of Albedo’s loose hairs from his face, thumb brushing against his cheek.
As though wiping tears Albedo has yet to shed.
“Don’t be silly,” Kaeya replies, “I don’t intend on going anywhere.”
Albedo furrows his brows, and there’s a painful twinge in his heart, “I don’t understand-”
“If there… may be a day where I can no longer hold you with these hands, I believe that some god out there has blessed a man like me to have this time with you, even if it’s only for a little while.”
A step closer.
Some gravel and broken stones crunch beneath Kaeya’s boot. And Albedo lets him near, despite a foreign feeling of fear encroaching upon him.
Kaeya looks at Albedo with raw emotion in that lone eye that spills truth from its depths, “I pray you do not deny me such rights. I wish to be with you until the end.”
Albedo gazes upon that dark pupil before shutting his own eyes and smiling.
“Then…”
He first considered the traveler to be the one that seals his fate but, as he opens his eyes to look at Kaeya once again, Albedo selfishly–
“Will you do it?” he asks, staring at the way the heart behind him casts a crimson crown atop Kaeya’s blue locks, “Will you stop me when that day comes?”
Kaeya is the first to close the distance between them, pressing his lips against Albedo’s, holding him ever so close, afraid to let him go. When they part, the Knight presses his forehead against his lover’s, eye shut to block out that scarlet hue.
Kaeya speaks a promise, confidently like he always has been, though the words kill him from the inside and makes his stomach sink to the floor.
“You have my word.”
And the heart that lights up the dark starts to quicken.
With a carefully penned letter to the Acting Grand Master, Albedo officially relocates to his camp on Dragonspine. As he had suspected, it became unbearable to be away from the mountain for an extended period of time, even though Mondstadt isn’t so far. If Albedo wants to have any more time with Kaeya and Klee, then he has to be wise with his decisions.
Anything to buy
a little more time.
Unsurprisingly, Kaeya is his constant company, bringing the alchemist food from Angel’s Share or helping him cook his own meals there. He’d also deliver any research notes Sucrose or Timaeus wish for him to review, which Albedo is thankful for.
Klee would tag along often as well, especially since she hates being away from Albedo for too long. Kaeya would help tote her bag full of bombs and crayons around (or some clothes if Jean allows her to spend the night).
Dragonspine is a good place for her to spend some energy wreaking havoc anyway. Albedo hears that the adventurers have been enjoying the moments of warmer weather, and who is he to deny them such a luxury.
Kaeya stays the night frequently.
Though that may be an understatement.
He’s there all the time if he can help it. Kaeya gets plenty of his personal responsibilities done on that wooden table on the other side of that cave, that is, if he isn’t constantly stealing glances at Albedo who continues to work diligently despite his condition.
If Klee isn’t there, Kaeya will leave his usual spot on the ground to sleep with Albedo on his makeshift bed made of cotton, hay, and mismatched sheets.
He would have his arm over Albedo’s middle, and he would listen to Albedo’s soft breathing, barely audible.
A ghost.
Kaeya can only guess that he’s really always there because he’s actually morbidly afraid of being left behind. Afraid to be alone again with a hollowed heart, and it’s not because Albedo chooses to go.
No.
This time, the choice is ripped from their hands and they can only wait.
They will make the most of it, and they will again forget the looming dread of death that hides itself beneath unvoiced declarations of love and devotion.
The snow remains white and pure.
And so does the love Kaeya has for Albedo, and
Albedo’s for him.
In several months, it becomes even harder for Albedo to contain the blood inside him, the foul substance like thorns as it travels through him.
Kaeya is there to hold him, eye squeezed shut as he has no choice but to listen to his lover’s pained voice echo throughout the cave, repeating over and over in his head like an ill-fated mantra.
Durin will be reborn soon.
Albedo counts his days.
“What do you suppose is the color of snow?”
Kaeya opens his eye to look up at Albedo who plays with his hair as he lays his head on the alchemist’s lap. Albedo’s fingers aren’t so steady these days and he has long abandoned his gloves because it’s been getting too hot.
Though the wind is still a biter and the snow has never melted.
“I may have one eye, but that doesn’t make me blind,” Kaeya jokes lightheartedly. Albedo lets air out through his nose before pinching Kaeya’s cheek. The captain swats at his hand before grinning.
“Okay, okay, you’re serious, I get it,” Kaeya laughs, “I would have to guess that it’s white.”
It is.
And Albedo has always believed it to be that way. After all, from the very moment he could open his eyes, he has been surrounded by white.
His master’s skin.
The dying trees.
The light.
Snow.
“Yes, but…”
Albedo pauses, resting his hand against the snowy grass they sit upon. Two birds hop at a safe distance away from them, leaving behind tiny footprints that would eventually disappear with time.
He plucks some grass between his fingers, “I refuse to believe that something so obviously simple can be reduced to just white. I’ve finally realized this.”
“Tell me more, dear alchemist.”
Albedo talks to Kaeya about the layers of snow. What lies beneath it. What it’s made of. The kind of things it can hide.
How it’s helpful and how it’s not.
Snow can only be so detailed.
But Albedo figures by now that it isn’t as simple as he and everyone else perceives.
Intrigued by Albedo’s words, Kaeya sits up to look at him directly. Some of the snow, their chosen topic of the day, has gathered on top of Albedo’s flaxen strands, a frozen flower crown crafted by Dragonspine.
“Hm, so if you don’t think it’s white, then what do you propose it is?”
Albedo hums, resting his weary head on Kaeya’s shoulder, “I haven’t figured it out yet. But if I don’t in time, maybe you can find out for me.”
Kaeya swallows. He doesn’t want to dwell on Albedo’s words, concise like always, but they have enough power to bring a lump to his throat and a prickle to his eye. He watches the way one of the birds suddenly flies away, leaving the other to stare after it.
He nods in understanding, planting a kiss to the top of Albedo’s head where the snow melts against his lips.
No longer white, but
instead,
gone .
“Can you dance with me, Albedo?”
Kaeya stands at the mouth of the campsite in between the two pyres, like a prince with his guards. Albedo sits up from his spot next to Klee who is fast asleep on his bed. He quietly walks over to Kaeya so he doesn’t wake the child from her slumber, and accepts the hand that reaches out to him.
Kaeya brings him outside where the moon is in full view and in the middle of setting their stage.
“I’m afraid I’m not quite so well versed in dancing,” Albedo tells him, but allows Kaeya to put a hand on his waist and hold his hand up with the other.
“Well, if I know you well by now, which I do,” Kaeya says, “Then I would know that you are a fast learner. So how about I teach you? Free of cost.”
Albedo laughs warmly, “Lead the way, then.”
With Albedo’s permission carried by the cold breeze, Kaeya takes the first step and Albedo follows. At first, the blond would stare down at their feet to make sure he doesn’t step on Kaeya’s toes or stumble over his own.
Clumsy and inexperienced.
But with the Cavalry Captain’s comforting humming, a song made specially for the two of them, as well as his gentle guidance, Albedo eventually looks up to stare at Kaeya and the stars instead.
Albedo doesn’t even feel the burn in his veins anymore, numb to the blazes meant to torment him from within. It’s the strongest it has ever been, but Albedo is blind to it.
Tonight is his last.
And he knows this.
“Thank you,” Albedo says, his voice drawn to a whisper. He presses his head against Kaeya’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat that contrasts greatly with his erratic one.
Kaeya stops moving to wrap his arms around Albedo who feels warm despite the harsh weather. He rests his chin on his head, still humming. Still singing.
Still drinking in everything Albedo is
and always will be.
Kaeya remembers Albedo’s last words to him that night when they go back to the cave where Klee was still sleeping.
Albedo told him that the two of them should go home for the night. He didn’t give him a real reason, and Kaeya never asked him for one. He just accepted Albedo’s request as it was and went to gather Klee’s backpack and his own satchel.
Kaeya remembers how Klee rubbed at her eyes when Albedo woke her up, bringing his little sister into a tight hug, right hand patting her messy hair as he whispered something into her ear. Albedo picked her up and brought her to Kaeya who took her. Klee clung to his neck, falling back asleep, her brother’s words the last thing on her mind.
Then Albedo stood from Kaeya, just several steps away.
Still in arm’s reach.
For a moment, Albedo looked as though he was going to cry. If he did, Kaeya would’ve wiped them away without a word because he would have already known the reason for it.
But Albedo didn’t.
He looked like he was at peace.
“I love you,” was the last thing Albedo told Kaeya before he turned away from the two people he ever cherished the most.
And “I love you too” was the last thing Kaeya told Albedo before he left the alchemist there, arms holding tightly onto Klee as he headed out into the night.
It felt sort of like a goodbye.
At early dawn, Kaeya treks up the mountain one final time, sword heavy in one hand and his promise in the other.
It’s there that he figures that maybe those three short words really were Albedo’s farewell.
Albedo’s campsite is empty when Kaeya reaches it. On his desk is a note. Kaeya leaves with it folded neatly in his hand.
When Kaeya makes it to Wyrmrest Valley and into that dark cavern, he finds someone that looks a lot like the man he loved and still loves.
But his eyes aren’t that pretty shade of teal anymore. And his once soft skin is marred with cracks and black roots that crawl up his arms and neck.
It isn’t Albedo anymore, and that’s what wills Kaeya to tighten his hand around the hilt of his sword and Albedo’s freedom, which had been in his palm since the day he made his vow.
Kaeya doesn’t cry at first.
Not even as his blade goes straight through Albedo’s heart, stopping the beating of the one embedded into black stone. The red glow dies into black now that there is nothing to fuel it, and only the light from the mouth of the cavern bleeds inside.
Kaeya doesn’t cry at first.
Not even as the dragon starts to claw weakly at his back, grasping for a life it barely got to live. It sputters darkened blood against the white of Kaeya’s clothes, a permanent reminder.
Kaeya doesn’t cry at first.
Until he removes his sword from Albedo’s chest and cradles his lifeless body in his arms. Parts of him have already started to crumble into chalk, gathering on the hard ground in front of Kaeya.
When Kaeya looks down, it’s Albedo that stares up at him, with the same eyes that resemble the sea.
But the light that was once there is gone.
The one that granted him all of the life and color in his world is gone, and no matter how much Kaeya cries out his name, those painfully honest words will never reach those ears again.
Albedo is gone.
And now Kaeya knows that the color of snow isn’t white.
Kaeya finds the answer to Albedo’s question as he screams, wailing out to no one as his anguish washes over him all at once.
It isn't a color at all.
It’s the absence of it.