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It’s been nearly two days, and Steven won’t sleep.
Marc stayed quiet for a while; figured space might do Steven some good. Really, he was foolish to think that would work. Now that Steven knows he’s there and he’s real, it all feels inescapable. Even in the silence, he can feel Marc hanging on. Ever present and not there at all, like his very own phantom limb.
The trouble is, they don’t just share a mind, but a body. And right now, the body is barely keeping up with regular pedestrian traffic. Bumping into a passerby wasn’t out of the ordinary for Steven—he was never the athletic one. But today, he looks properly out of his mind, like a zombie has entered the streets of London. It’s drawing unhelpful attention to them, and Marc cannot ignore this any longer.
“Steven,” he tries.
“Shut up,” Steven spits back, and a few tourists around him do just that.
“You need to listen to me: this is getting out of hand. Go home and get some sleep.” He can feel Steven look down, can feel him pulling his coat up farther, trying to avoid even a passing glance at any reflective surfaces.
He’s good at this game, but Marc is better. More practiced.
Marc catches his gaze from a puddle. “You’re losing it, Steven. The body needs rest.”
“And you need to give it a rest.” He’s stubborn. At least there’s one thing they have in common.
“Come on, just look around you,” Marc urges. “Sleepy, rainy day in London—perfect time to go home and take a nap!
He stumbles up to a bus window, confronting his reflection. “I may be mad, but I’ll tell you what—you’re bloody madder if you think I am ever going to sleep again. No way, not while you’re still inside of me.” His eyes are more angry than Marc has ever seen.
Of course, Steven is too tired, wired, and angry to notice being noticed. His antics are attracting an increasingly concerned crowd, and Marc finds himself having to backpedal.
“Ok, I understand,” Marc says, trying compassion on for size. “I know all of this feels scary and confusing and like your world is ending. I know how heavy your eyes and your legs feel. I know it’s getting harder for you to tell what’s real and what’s not. And I know it’s asking a lot for you to trust me—but if you don’t get out of here, you’re gonna get us both into trouble.”
At that, Steven finally takes stock of his surroundings. He hates how right Marc is about everything—the growing tiredness, the looks from people around him. The last thing he needs is more people deciding his shitshow of a life is their business.
“Yeah,” he says quietly. “Yeah, I think I should, um, go now. To my flat.” He says it to himself more than anyone else.
As Steven stumbles home, Marc goes quiet again. At one point, half-asleep, Steven begins feel Marc’s prying hands begin to take control. He snaps back into awareness, desperate and determined.
Marc doesn’t try it again.
They stay like that until Steven reaches his bathroom and throws on the light. He expects an appearance from Marc, but instead it’s just his own bloodshot eyes staring back at him.
He takes a hesitant seat on the edge of his bed. Just enough to give his legs a rest.
Steven speaks up, voice shaking. “I’m tired of closing my eyes and waking up in the middle of a horror film. Do you have any idea what that feels like—to have your waking life be the real nightmare?”
Marc does. He lets it go. That can wait.
“If I could take it all away for you, I would.” This was never a burden he’d intended to share. “Just know that I’m not your enemy. I’ll be here to protect you, just like I’ve done every time before.”
“That’s comforting.” Steven lays back onto his bed, trying not to think about where he’ll end up if Marc takes over. “If I close my eyes right now, is it a death sentence for my new fish?”
“Steven, I know you feel like going to sleep is giving up. It’s not.” Marc Spector has been many things, but he’s not often been reassuring. He does his best to help Steven let go of his fear, if only for a moment.
Marc wishes Khonshu would give him—give them—a night of rest. He knows better than to hope. He resigns himself to his duty as he feels armor wrap around him, bright eyes casting a glow on the dark room.