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Ernie in the Lair - Two Weeks since the Apology
Something was off. Most definitely. It was concerning how out of sorts she was recently. She was all discombobulated and there was an ever present dull ache in her chest. It wasn’t medical, it wasn’t necessarily anxiety. And, it wasn’t the regular run of the mill shitty feeling that she had felt after the “break up”, either. (If that is indeed how one would categorize the end of a not fully defined relationship.) This was different somehow. She was different. The last two weeks had turned her inside out.
She knew why.
Or who.
Even after she dismissed Whistler following that fateful poker game, Kate kept popping up. She was there . Everywhere. She was at Lucy’s desk, at the bullpen, hanging out with Tennant, on the street, in her ear on a boat, on her phone in the picture she couldn’t delete, wearing the gray pantsuit with the pale pink button down, hair down, tucked behind one ear. Goddamn, that particular pantsuit hugs Whistler’s body just so...
Anyway, the point is that Whistler was around. Lucy still saw her. She caught a glimpse every now and again. Now she’s...not. She’s nowhere. Not at her desk. Not on the street. Not in her ear, nor on a boat. If she’s hanging out with Tennant, Jane hasn’t mentioned it. And, well, she has no idea what Whistler’s wearing, if anything. Well, she’s probably wearing something. Hopefully...or not. Depending on the situation. There were plenty of times that she wasn’t wearing a stitch and that had made Lucy very happy. But, y’know, that was in the past. Before Whistler had broken her heart. Before she had lied to her and fucked up their burgeoning romantic entanglement and before Whistler had gone MIA.
Holy shit, had Whistler gone MIA for real?
A quick trip to the lair and a scan of her badge, and she was tiptoeing into Ernie’s space.
“Knock, knock,” she announced her arrival.
He barely looked up from his computer before greeting her. “Lucy.”
“Hey, Ernie,” she said, trying to play it off as a friendly visit. “How’s it going?”
It was the blatant dip into the Texas drawl that tipped Ernie off. Lucy did that when she was faking hospitality or was two margaritas deep on karaoke night. A quick sniff ensured that there was no stench of tequila in the air. “Can I help you?”
Lucy’s brows wrinkled, but she shook her head. She picked up an abandoned pen and flipped over her knuckles then dropped it back onto the surface. “Nah,” she answered quietly. “Yeah, eh. Uh, I don’t know. Can you help me? I mean, maybe. Probably. But, can you? That’s really the question, isn’t it?”
“It is,” he said, hands still flying around his keyboard. “But, honestly, I didn’t understand anything about that response.”
“You might be able to help,” Lucy thought for a second. “I’m not entirely sure about the legalities and/or the ethics of the ask, though.”
“Oh-kay.”
“I’m just wondering,” Lucy said with a sigh. “If someone had been, oh, I don’t know, absent for a couple of weeks. Would you be able to tell me, if she...had...if that person was on the island? Or had been shipped off to DC? Or if something had happened that I didn’t know about. Even though I don’t really care.”
“Oh, it’s the Whistler thing,” Ernie said with a chuckle.
“What thing?” Lucy asked, eyes wider. “There’s a thing?”
“Chill, Luce,” Ernie responded. “I’m referring to your thing, not a thing.”
“You should be clearer, Ernie!”
“Oh, yeah, and you’re the picture of clarity right now,” Ernie teased as he rolled across the room to another monitor and proceeded his flurry of typing. “Whistler’s around. I saw her a few days ago.”
“Where?”
“Here, she had some of my green juice,” Ernie said. “How did you not see her? She’s super tall and clickety clacks all over the place.”
“I haven’t seen her or heard her clickety clacks in two weeks.”
“Two whole weeks?” he asked with a gentle mirth.
“Yeah,” Lucy said. “Two weeks. Nothing. No random texts that I’ve dutifully ignored. No sitting on my desk and breathing obnoxiously. She hasn’t made excuses to drop by or stared at me across the room with her face,” then added under her breath, “...her gorgeous fucking face.”
Ernie’s typing finally paused as spun around in his chair and gave Lucy his undivided attention. “Lucy, I thought that was over. Dunzos. Finished. Never again. An historical footnote to an ill-advised workplace anti-romance.”
Lucy rolled her eyes and groaned. “Oh c'mon, Ernie. It was never over.”
“Oh, I know,” Ernie grinned. “But I was letting you believe that you really believed it.”
“How kind of you.”
“I’m a nice guy,” Ernie said. “So? What’s happening on the Whistler front?”
Lucy swallowed and rolled her shoulders, working through the frustration she was feeling. “She’s ghosted me, I guess.”
“You practically told her to,” Ernie countered.
Lucy nodded. “Yes, it’s possible that I was giving off the impression that I wanted her to stop trying to speak to me. I spent a lot of time wishing she wouldn't, mostly for my own sanity. But, now...she's not. At all. Not a word. I haven’t seen her in two weeks. And apparently, you have. So...what the hell?”
“Did something happen?”
“That’s...” Lucy stopped and collected her thoughts. “What’s your definition of ‘happen’?”
“I’m not Webster, but did an event occur to change the current circumstance?”
Lucy’s lips twisted. “I hugged her.”
Ernie cleared his throat. “When and where did this embrace take place?”
“Um,” Lucy paused to make a show of pinpointing the date. “Two weeks ago. Close proximity to my desk. I don’t know the exact time or coordinates.”
“And you're just telling me now?” Ernie seemed offended.
“Listen, I was processing,” Lucy said. “She apologized. Finally! She said the words I needed her to say. And then, get a load of this, she said I was the most amazing woman she’s ever met. The next thing I know, I’m hugging her. It’s like my arms had a mind of their own.”
“Wow.”
Lucy shook her head, “No, no. Not wow.”
“It wasn’t a wow hug?”
“It was a wow enough hug,” Lucy said. “If hugs can be wow. Then, sure. I mean, it’s Whistler. And me. The two of us are always wow. We do wow-like things together. I just don't know if I'm at a wow hug place with her right now.”
“Maybe you should hug her again and see what happens.”
“I can't just hug Whistler,” Lucy said, irritated. “I can’t even find Whistler.”
“Text her, ask if she’s cool with hugging it out again,” Ernie suggested. “I bet she’d show.”
“That's weird, Ernie.”
“If you’re so desperate to see her-”
“I’m NOT desperate!” Lucy yelled. She took a breath and shrugged. “I was mildly concerned, that’s all. If you’ve seen her, then she’s fine. Whatever.”
Ernie sighed heavily. “Lucy, I think maybe she's giving you the space that she thinks you want.”
Lucy picked up the pen again, tapping the end cap with a click. “She said that it took so long to apologize because it might really be over in the aftermath. You think she thinks it's over?”
“You kinda already ended it, Lucy,” Ernie reminded her. “Maybe she’s moving on.”
“Well, she must be moving on in stealth mode,” Lucy joked, but the thought certainly wasn’t sitting well. “Damn.”
Kai on the Sidewalk - Two Weeks and Five Days since the Apology
Lucy’s coffee didn’t taste the same. The sugar she poured in by the packet wasn’t nearly as sweet. It was bitter. She used to like bitter. Now, she was bitter. Didn’t stop her from taking a long drink out of her cup and holding tighter to the extra one in her hand. That one didn’t have any sugar. She had perched herself outside of the building...waiting. For what, she didn't quite know. Well, she did. But, her plan for after finding her target was ill-conceived at best, non-existent at worst.
Lucy lifted her cup filled hand in acknowledgement as she saw Kai approach. “Hey,” she said, looking past him and scanning the parking lot.
“For me?” He stretched out his hand for the coffee as he slowed.
“Nope,” she answered, pulling it back abruptly. “Not my coffee day, I think it’s Jesse’s. This is just a primer.”
He gestured toward the other cup. “Two primers?”
“Sometimes, it’s warranted.”
“Okay.” Kai looked over his shoulder, bringing his hand up to shield his eyes for a moment. “Looking for someone?”
“Nah,” Lucy said, eyes still fixed beyond him. “Just...patrolling.”
Kai turned around to face the same direction and crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you sure?”
“Positive,” Lucy answered, loudly sipping her coffee without any other explanation.
“You coming in?” Kai said after a moment, thumb hooked backward. “Or should I tell Tennant you’re going to be on parking lot watch all day.”
“I’ll be there,” Lucy responded. She looked down at her watch. “Give me ten minutes.”
He stood there for a second before pointing over to the opposite corner of the lot. “Oh, it’s Whistler,” he said casually.
“Where?” Lucy’s head snapped around, sloshing the coffee in her cup and causing some to spill onto her hand. “Shit,” she said, flicking the liquid and still craning her neck to see.
“Oh, no, sorry,” he said, waving a dismissive hand. “Must have been someone else.”
Lucy’s eyes cut up to him, lip snarled. “That was an ass move, dude.”
Kai smiled, “I had a hunch.”
Lucy groaned. “That obvious?”
“If it makes you feel any better, you both are,” Kai offered.
“You’ve seen her?” Lucy was intrigued.
Kai nodded, “Oh, yeah, we went out to dinner last week.”
“Wha-at?” Lucy asked, head involuntarily shaking and clearly surprised enough to slosh the coffee on her hand again. “How? Why? What? Where?”
“I ran into her one night in the bullpen, asked if she’d eaten,” Kai said innocently. “She hadn’t.”
Lucy’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly as she readjusted her frame, standing a little straighter. “You mean, you took my girlfriend out to dinner and failed to tell me that?”
“Um, I took Whistler, my work colleague , to eat at my family’s restaurant, yes,” Kai reported. “She was just standing at your desk, looking miserable, and it wasn’t the first time, Lucy. I was just trying to be nice. In my family, we feed people.”
Lucy backed off. “Well, that means something completely different. You should have said it like that in the first place.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Kai,” Lucy said, wildly waving her coffee filled hands. “It’s like the difference between I’m a fucking federal agent and I’m fucking a federal agent.”
“Not if both are true.”
“Both aren’t true, Kai. That’s the goddamn point.”
His brows furrowed in obvious confusion. “Sorry, Luce. I guess I should have mentioned it, but I thought you and Whistler had broken up. I didn’t want to make it any worse by talking about it.”
“‘Break up’ is a tricky term.”
“Not really,” Kai said. “Pretty straightforward.”
“Is that what she said?” Lucy asked. “Did she say we broke up?”
“She said she screwed up, not that you broke up,” Kai answered. “Again, is there a difference? You’re not currently hooking up, right? Pretty much the same thing.”
“She isn’t talking to me,” Lucy confessed. “And it’s driving me bonkers.”
“She’s playing it cool, huh?” Kai asked.
“Not sure if it's so much playing it cool as it is just not playing at all. I mean, it's Whistler. Whistler is rarely cool. She’s smart. Beautiful. Intimidating. Emotionally awkward. Amazing in be-, uh, at her job. Self-deprecating in a charming way,” Lucy reminisced. “But cool?”
“She is kinda cool, though,” Kai argued. “Quick-witted. Surprisingly funny, actually.”
Lucy frowned at the reminder that they had been out to dinner recently. “Fuck off, Kai. I know she’s cool, but that was my secret!”
“Your secret’s out,” Kai told her.
“Yeah,” Lucy replied as she attempted to drink her coffee, but realized most of it was on the ground. “I guess it is.”
“So, whatever that feeling is in your gut right now,” Kai pointed at her abdomen. “Whether it’s really misguided jealousy or fear or emptiness, bad coffee maybe, whatever it is, probably means the deal with you and Whistler is not completely resolved.”
“Obviously not.”
Kai clapped her on the shoulder and gave her a gentle smile. “Her and my dad had a strangely detailed conversation about fishing and ocean tides. I think they exchanged numbers to get together and do some shorelining for bluefin next weekend. So...maybe not that cool.”
Jesse at a Crime Scene - Three Weeks and One Day since the Apology
Most people loved the beach. Why live in Hawaii if you don't love the beach? It was literally surrounded by beaches. It was beautiful in every single direction.
Lucy did not love the beach.
Because you know what was just beyond the beach?
The fucking ocean, that’s what. The ocean was vast and unpredictable. It was uneven and uncertain. The ocean couldn’t be trusted. Its depths are unknown. She stared out over the water that had just coughed up the naval officer that they had been searching for the last few days and thought, fuck that’s a lot of water.
She and Jesse had been sent to dig up any clues that the beach might offer. And it wasn’t talking.
Much like her and Whistler.
Which she was rudely reminded of when she noticed a Fed on the premises. “Isn’t that McHugh?” Lucy jutted her chin at the suit that was milling around.
Jesse looked up from his notepad to confirm. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Why would McHugh be here?”
“Not sure,” Jesse said, fairly disinterested.
“McHugh’s FBI,” Lucy said unnecessarily. “If the FBI is involved, why wouldn’t Whistler have come out?”
“No clue,” Jesse shrugged it off as he scribbled in his messy scrawl.
“Where the fuck is she?” Lucy asked, frustration lacing her words. “It’s like she's disappeared.”
Jesse stopped, flipped over the small pad of paper and fixed a knowing look on her.
Lucy rolled her eyes and kicked some sand for being so effing sandy. “Where is she, Jesse?”
“I talked to her yesterday about a case. Had a contact for me,” Jesse informed her. “Your girl’s become much more helpful now that she’s out of the intel game, by the way.”
“My girl? Ha,” Lucy said as sarcastically as possible. “So glad the two of you have become such great pals, though.”
“Didn’t say that,” Jesse clarified. “I said she was more helpful. Why are you looking for her, anyway? Thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore. She’s Bad News Bears, a Cheaty McCheaterson, the Wet Whistler...wait...that was about something else..”
“Do you have to repeat all the dumb things I say verbatim?”
“When they are that dumb, yes,” Jesse smiled with a wink. “I do the same thing to Gracie.”
“K, Dad,” Lucy mumbled. “Come to think of it, Whistler is all about the dads these days. Might as well be Father’s Day.”
“Lucy, why don’t you just call her?”
“Not a chance,” Lucy scoffed.
“Take this dad’s advice and call her.”
“Never!” Lucy shook her head vehemently. “But, also, how was she? I’m just curious about her whereabouts. Have you taken her to dinner recently?”
“No,” Jesse was confused. “We split a Twix bar, though. She had the left side.”
“Did she request the left side?”
“No, does that matter?”
“No,” Lucy said. “I’m just trying to figure out her angle.”
“I’m not sure there’s an angle, Luce,” Jesse said sympathetically to soften the blow. “I think she’s intentionally avoiding you.”
“It’s getting impossible not to draw that conclusion,” Lucy said. “Especially since everyone else and their dad, literally, has seen her and broken bread or some shit.”
“She’s not that hard to find,” Jesse said.
“Yet has remained ever elusive.”
“She works on the same base you do. Has an office with her name on the door,” Jesse offered helpfully. “Did you know she had a first name?”
“Yeah, I’ve screamed it a couple of times,” Lucy shot back. “Still haven’t seen her.”
“Because you’re not looking in the obvious places.”
“I’m not looking for her at all.”
“You most certainly are looking for her, except you're expecting her to just show up because that’s what she's always done.”
“How dare you be so truthful,” Lucy complained.
“That’s my thing,” Jesse smiled. “Call her!”
“I want to. I want to call her. And I keep telling myself that I should. Just do it. But, now...I’m afraid she won’t take my call. And where does that leave us? What’s that going to do to me? Huh?”
Jesse sighed. “Luce, I don’t know. I don’t know Whistler well enough to tell you what she’s thinking. And I don’t know what exactly happened between you two, but I know she made you happy. Before she really, really pissed you off. But, the happy part, that was really great, right?”
“I’m not pissed off anymore,” Lucy admitted. “I keep trying to be, but I’m not. Now, I just miss her and want to know what’s going on with her. I...fuck!”
The screaming expletive got the attention of the small crowd of law enforcement and military personnel that were also on the scene.
Jesse held up a hand at the puzzled looks coming from all angles. “It’s okay, everyone. Agent Tara saw a sand crab. All’s good.”
Lucy nodded along. “Thanks.”
“Call her,” Jesse said again as he flipped his notepad back open.
“Maybe.” Lucy pulled her NCIS issued windbreaker closer to protect against not only the wind, but the vulnerability she was feeling. “Hey, did you and Heather ever break up?”
“Sure, we did. A couple of times,” Jesse answered. “We were young when we met. Didn’t know what we wanted right out of the gate. But when it’s right, it’s right. We somehow just found our way back to each other every time.”
Lucy bit her lip and stared back over the ocean, reminding herself how beautiful could also be dangerous. “Good to know.”
Jane at her house - Three Weeks and Five Days since the Apology
Jane wasn’t surprised when she opened her door to Lucy. She was surprised that Lucy was carrying a bottle of Jack and a dozen store-bought cupcakes. “I need some advice,” Lucy blurted out.
Jane opened the door wider, effectively inviting her inside. “Whistler, I’m assuming?”
“Has everyone been discussing this?” Lucy asked her, still standing on Jane’s front porch. “Am I that much of a basket case right now?”
Jane reached out and took the cupcakes, “No.”
“No to which?” Lucy asked as she stepped across the threshold, heading toward the kitchen.
“You’re not a basket case,” Jane said, following behind. “And, yes, it’s been a topic of conversation.”
“Well, shit,” Lucy groaned.
“That’s only because everyone loves you and wants you to be happy,” Jane said quickly. “I promise. It’s all in an attempt to be supportive, not gossip.”
“It’s a little gossipy, though.”
“Yeah, well,” Jane smiled. “You and Whistler are bound to draw attention.”
Lucy trudged into the kitchen, plopped into a bar seat, and slid the bottle toward Jane. “Pour me a double.”
“How about we start off with a double sprinkle instead?” Jane asked, pulling a cupcake out and setting it in front of Lucy. “So, how are the state of your affairs?”
“My affairs are stateless,” Lucy responded. “I haven’t seen my affairee in weeks and I think I’m going through the stages of grief or something.”
“Sounds familiar,” Jane said. “She’s having similar difficulties.”
“So you’ve seen her, too?” Lucy asked. “Everyone else has, so I’m assuming you have as well. She’s probably living in your spare bedroom at this rate.”
“We’ve had a few night caps,” Jane said honestly. “She needed a friend.”
“So did I,” Lucy said as she took a large bite out of her cupcake, leaving frosting on her lips. “I still do!”
“And you have us,” Jane reminded her. “You have all of us. And you know that. We’re a team and a family. Whistler doesn’t have that luxury.”
“Apparently, she does. She has you for a drinking buddy. She’s sharing snacks with Jesse and juicing with Ernie. Her and Kai are even dining together,” Lucy said. “What the hell is that?”
“She told me,” Jane said. “I think she was a little embarrassed that he felt sorry for her.”
“Well, then she should have come to me,” Lucy snapped. “Why hasn’t she?”
Jane tilted her head and reached out to hold Lucy’s forearm in consolation. “Luce, she couldn’t come to you. That’s why she’s going to everyone else. She’s still trying to be close to you, but she’s also trying to respect your boundaries.”
“What if I don’t want my boundaries respected anymore?”
“Then be honest with her. Lucy, I get it. I understand you were betrayed. And she was wrong. And she’s admitted that it was all her fault. So, you have every right to do exactly what you did. Be angry. Say your piece. But, now, if you’re really ready to move past it and you think you can work it out, great. Do that. Don’t move the goalposts, though. She’s doing what you asked of her. You can’t seek her out just to pull away again. That’s not fair.”
"Move the goalposts?” Lucy asked, a smile threatening her lips.
“I was married to a football coach, give me a break,” Jane said in her defense. “I was accused of moving a goalpost or two during our divorce.”
Lucy sobered at the thought. She swallowed and looked up at Jane. “I’m in love with her.”
Jane nodded. “I suspected.”
“We weren’t even together together and I’m already...so in love with her,” Lucy said, voice cracking. “So, what if we do this and it doesn’t work and I can’t move on. Or, what if everything’s great until years from now and then we break up. And, then, what? Do I just hurt forever? Waste away in a Whistler-deprived fog for the rest of my days? Just share joint custody of our adopted beagle bull, Bob Barker? Back and forth, back and forth, always have to see her to swap collars and Bob’s favorite duck toy, Squackers?”
“Lucy, believe me when I say, I’ve been through some shit. Not anything as sad as what you just described, but some shit nonetheless,” Jane said. “Looking back, though, I’m glad I trusted love at the time. Happiness is so, so fleeting. Catch it while you can.”
Kate on an Elevator - Four Weeks Since the Apology
Lucy tapped an impatient foot at how long the elevator seemed to be taking as she and Jesse waited for it to arrive. “So, what’s the app, again?” she asked.
“It’s like a morbid game of Mad Libs,” Jesse answered. “Just fill in the blanks with a noun, verb, etc.”
“Ah,” she nodded as she pressed the button on the wall yet again. “Wait, so, body part found in body of water type stuff?”
“Exactly,” Jesse said. “Severed limb in the Potomac.”
“Or elbow found in the Gulf,” Lucy offered as she watched the number light up signalling that the car was finally near.
“Elbow?” Jesse looked at her completely puzzled. “Just a random free floating elbow?”
“Yes.”
“Just the joint? In the Gulf? Hanging out, no wrist or upper arm?”
The elevator doors opened as Lucy was gearing up in defense. “An elbow, yes. I don’t have to justify my ans-” Lucy’s eyes flicked downward. And, there she was. Whistler. After weeks of longing, she finally materialized. And Lucy was stunned into mild shock. “-swer.”
“Luce?” Jesse asked as he followed her line of sight. “Oh.”
Whistler, too, had been stricken temporarily paralyzed because they both just stared at each other until the doors started to close again. Thankfully, Jesse thought to lurch forward and trigger the sensor.
“Hey there, Whistler,” he said as he held the door open with his arm. “Deboarding?”
“Um,” she looked at him and then back to Lucy, who had been rendered momentarily speechless. “No, no. I think I’ll come back later.”
“Okay,” he said and then gestured back to Lucy. “Well, we were on our way to grab a bite. C’mon, Lucy.”
“Oh,” Whistler responded, panicking at the thought of them being trapped together. “Oh, well, um, I actually did come to speak with Special Agent Tennant, so...” she gestured toward Jane’s office. “I’ll go.”
Jesse continued to stand in the middle of the two women, holding the elevator doors. “Sure,” he said. “Alright then.”
“Yeah, okay,” Whistler slowly made her way out of the elevator.
“I’m on my way to lunch,” Lucy said unnaturally loudly to her as she walked by.
Whistler stopped, almost spooked to hear Lucy’s voice. “Okay.”
“Luce,” Jesse called from behind her, still holding the elevator, which had now filled with other people waiting to transport. “Let’s go. Burritos wait for no man.”
Lucy took a few tentative steps toward the elevator, stepped in, and then turned to quickly yell, “You wanna go with us?” as the doors started to close.
Whistler, who still stood stock still staring, nodded and started back toward them only to be shut out.
A second later, the doors opened again revealing Jesse hitting the ‘Door Open’ button like a madman. “Boarding?” he asked Whistler as he held his arm over the doors again.
“You sure?” Whistler asked Lucy.
“Burritos await apparently,” Lucy said, faking a half smile.
“No,” Jesse said, trying his best to interject some levity into the awkward exchange. “I said they wait for no man.”
“That is what he said,” some dude from the back recalled. “Burritos don’t wait, but apparently we are waiting on...her.”
Lucy looked over her shoulder and glared at him. “Do you mind?” she asked him. “I’m inviting her to lunch.”
“I was just saying...” the guy replied.
Lucy turned back to Whistler, “Burritos?”
Whistler stepped onto the car and folded her hands together in front of her. “They await.”
“For no man,” Jesse mumbled as he finally let the doors close.
The ride was awkward. Lucy stared hard at the metal reflection in front of her, wondering what she had gotten herself into. Whistler snuck a glance or two, while trying to control her breathing because her heart was beating out of control. Jesse was overcompensating by not looking at either one of them and instead was looking at the ceiling so hard that he could have bent it with his mind. Marta, a civilian human resources staffer and grandmother of four, was straight up knitting a scarf that she was already wearing, which was odd because they lived in Hawaii. And Random Guy probably had to pee because he was shifting uncomfortably.
“How’ve you been?” Lucy asked as she chanced a quick glance.
“Great,” Marta answered from behind her. “The kids are growing so fast!”
“That’s great, Mart,” Lucy said and then turned to Kate. “How’ve you been?”
“I’ve been well,” Whistler answered rather formally.
Another long silence descended as the elevator rumbled and cranked.
“I’ve been better,” the random guy said as the door dinged and he stepped between them, knocking them both on the shoulder.
They both stood still as the rest of the space emptied and Jesse had looked back. He gave Lucy a questioning look, then smiled. “So, no burritos today?”
“Bring me back one?”
“You bet,” he said and let the door close.
As soon as they were alone, Lucy extended her arms and sprang forward to hug Kate, who was completely caught off guard. Lucy continued to hug her even with Kate’s arms trapped down by her sides. They continued in a strange deadlock for several seconds with Lucy squeezing in varying degrees of tightness before declaring, “There. Hugged you again.”
“Oh, okay,” Kate said, very much thrown by the development. “Uh...”
Lucy dropped her arms and stepped back. “How was that?”
“How was what?” Kate asked, still trying to decipher what the heck was going on.
“Was that a wow hug?” Lucy asked genuinely.
“Um, I don’t know,” Kate answered. “It was a surprising hug.”
“Oh,” Lucy retreated back to her side of the elevator and pressed the desired floor button. “Okay, then.”
Kate was absolutely bewildered. “What just happened?”
“I’m trying to see if we still,” Lucy breathed out. “If you and I are still...y’know...wow.”
“Us?” Kate asked, sensing the tiny bloom of hope. “If we are?”
“It’s...just a dumb thing...”
“I’m still...wowed...” Kate responded quietly.
“You are?”
“Yes?” Kate answered, not sure if it was the correct one. “I still...y’know.”
Lucy nodded slowly. “Yeah, yeah, sure.”
“Yeah,” Kate said slowly. “So...”
“Are we talking about the same thing?” Lucy asked after a beat.
“Ugh,” Kate groaned in frustration. “I hate this!”
“Me?”
“No! This!” Kate exclaimed. “This tension. I was hoping next time we saw each other, it would be better.”
“It probably would have been without the month-long buildup,” Lucy snarked.
“I was doing what you wanted,” Kate reminded her. “You wanted me to leave you alone.”
“But did I say those words?” Lucy asked.
“Pretty sure you did.”
“I’m not so sure,” Lucy responded.
Kate waited a moment before looking back at her. “You think, maybe, we could be friends now? I miss...talking.”
Lucy shook her head. “No.”
“No?” Kate deflated. “Never?”
“I don’t want to be friends with you, Whistler.”
The car stopped with an abrupt jolt and both ladies turned to see the doors slide open. Kai stood on the other side holding a potted fern.
“Hey!” he greeted them with a big smile. It dropped after a second. “Oh, hey. You’re...doing whatever it is you’re doing.” He subtly tucked the fern just inside the elevator and backed away with his hands up. “I’ll take the stairs.”
The doors closed.
Kate pointed to the plant. “What...”
“I have no idea,” Lucy replied.
When the elevator started its descent yet again, they both glanced over at the same time and smiled, which turned into a chuckle.
“Is that his?” Kate inquired.
“I guess...”
“Okay.”
Lucy studied the plant more closely. “I wonder if he wants it back? Or is it decor-?”
“Hey, I get that you’re pissed at me,” Kate said, turning toward the other woman. “But, I thought we had something. A connection, at least. So, maybe we’ll never be together romantically because I fucked it all up, but we can’t even be friends ? C’mon, Lucy.”
“No!” Lucy said. “I could never just be friends with you.”
“Why?”
“You and I...” Lucy gathered herself. “We’re built for being mortal enemies or a mad crazy love affair. There’s no in-between.”
“I don’t want to be enemies.”
“Me, either,” Lucy said honestly. “But, that doesn’t change what happened.”
“I can’t change it, either.”
“I know,” Lucy acquiesced. “But, it’s possible that some of it, the tiniest of tiny fractions, was maybe partly my fault, too.”
Kate’s brows furrowed. “How?”
“I let this potentially serious thing go undefined because I was trying to be casual, like you. I’m not the casual type in relationships. I’m, like, a stake your claim kinda girl. And I should have been more upfront about that,” Lucy said.
“I don’t want to be casual with you,” Kate argued. “Even before, when we were just...”
“Hooking up?”
“I hate that term,” Kate said with a sigh of disgust.
“Well, that’s what we were doing.”
“I know,” Kate replied. “But I hated it.”
“You hated it?”
“No! No, not the...sex part,” Kate said. “That was great.”
“Great! Like,” Lucy’s eyes grew wide. “Top fucking notch, girl.”
Kate smiled shyly, “Yeah. But...the nature of our relationship at the time. I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it.”
“Well, I wasn’t either,” Lucy said. “But you were kinda mean.”
“I was defensive and uncomfortably vulnerable because I liked you.”
“And you had a girlfriend...”
Kate took a step back, absorbing the blow. “Yeah. I did. You’re right.”
“Yep,” Lucy said, intentionally popping the ‘p.’
“Okay, this is going to sound awful,” Kate prefaced. “But, I didn’t even think of her. She didn’t even factor in. It was over in DC and then I moved. I’m just the complete asshole that didn’t end it formally. I thought flying away and never returning a call would do it for me.”
“So, you’re trying to talk me into having a relationship with you while arguing that you’re a terrible girlfriend,” Lucy pointed out. “God, you are just...so bad at this sometimes.”
“I’m being honest,” Kate said.
“Too honest, maybe?” Lucy asked.
Kate closed her eyes tightly, trying to figure out a way to reel in the spiral that this conversation could take. “I’ve never felt this way before. About you. I’ve never...You’re different. And I didn’t really know what to do with that. I’m emotionally stunted or something.”
“You’re not emotionally stunted.”
“I am.”
“You’re not.”
“I am, Lucy,” Kate said with conviction. “I’m in love with you and instead of just saying it, I’ve been taking the stairs for a month. My calves have never been stronger, but it sucks.”
That confession caught Lucy’s attention, she opened her mouth to respond when the elevator dinged and landed on the first floor lobby. The doors slid open to reveal Jane Tennant holding a bag of limes.
“Do you have any good lime recipes,” Jane asked and held them up. “I scooped these up from the Lost & Found.”
“I can honestly say that no, I don’t,” Kate answered dumbfounded.
Jane took a step toward them and then saw Lucy and hesitated. “Are you two talking?”
“Uh huh,” Lucy said.
“Then, you should have these.” Jane handed the bag of limes over. “Make limeade.”
Lucy accepted the limes as the doors closed once again.
“That was the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me,” she said looking at the limes in her hand.
“I thought you were supposed to make lemonade,” Whistler wondered aloud. “You know, when life hands you lemons.”
“If you’re handed limes, though,” Lucy shrugged. “Guess it could apply.”
“Is she trying to tell us something?” Kate asked.
Both were lost in thought for a few moments. “I’m not sure a bag of limes means anything,” Lucy finally said. “Grab your life by the limes, I guess?”
Kate smiled tentatively. “Maybe we should.”
Lucy leaned back against the wall of the elevator, hooked her thumbs into her front pockets. “I need to be able to trust you.”
“Then we start slowly,” Kate suggested. “Let me prove myself. I’m great at that.”
Lucy bit her lip and agreed. “I know you are.”
“Lucy, I’ve wanted a lot of things for myself. I’ve set a lot of goals and been determined and single minded in those pursuits to the detriment of everything else,” Kate shared openly. “But, I’ve never wanted anything more than I want us. And, I will not fail at that. Not again.”
“Damn,” Lucy responded. “Really?”
“Really.”
“This is a different Whistler than before,” Lucy said.
“I know what I lost,” Kate said. “If we get another shot, I’m not willing to lose it again.”
The next time the elevator dinged, the doors did not slide open. They both looked at each other in question before a familiar voice sounded, which startled them both.
“Hey!”
“Holy shit!” Lucy squealed in fright.
“Hi there, lovebirds,” Ernie said through the speaker typically used for an emergency call. “I hacked the elevator to give you some privacy.”
Lucy immediately looked up into the camera. “Have you been watching this whole time?”
“No!” Ernie said. “Not watching, very minimal listening. Good speech, Whistler!”
“Thanks Ernie,” Kate said, oddly proud of herself for the approval.
“I’ll let you continue with a little mood music,” he said. “Just call my name when you’re ready to come out.”
It definitely took a few seconds to identify the song, but it was absolutely positively a stripped down version of Rihanna’s Bitch Better Have My Money and that couldn’t have been less fitting for this situation.
Kate couldn’t help but laugh as she stood there in an elevator, groveling in front of the love of her life, who was holding a bag of limes. “I love you,” she said with a helpless shrug.
“You know he’s probably still listening, right?” Lucy said, still eyeing the camera in suspicion.
“I don’t care, Luce,” Kate said. “Your whole team could be sitting around Ernie’s computer watching us on surveillance, eating to-go burritos, and having drinks without their intended lime garnishes, and I wouldn’t care. I’d still tell you because it’s probably the last chance I’ll get to say it.”
“Don’t.” Lucy held up a hand, stopping her.
“I’m sorry, but it’s the truth,” Kate said. “Me not being honest is what got us here in the first place, right? So, I love you.”
“Don’t do this here,” Lucy said.
"I’m sorry if this complicates our working relationship.”
“Seriously,” Lucy tried again.
“And maybe, after some time, maybe you’ll change your mind about us being friends-”
“Oh my god, Whistler!” Lucy said in exasperation as she grabbed Kate’s face and kissed her soundly. “Stop!”
Kate was so stunned and it was over so quickly, she didn’t even reciprocate. “What the-?”
“I love you, too, okay?” Lucy said. “I love you. I forgive you. It’s going to take some time, but we’ll figure it out. Because I want to and you want to. And, because we are, indeed, still wow. But, they probably are eating burritos and watching us, so let’s get off this elevator and-”
“Ride into the sunset?” Kate asked, in a romantic haze.
“I was gonna say get off the elevator and then get off, but your way sounds prettier,” Lucy said with a mischievous smile, eyelashes fluttering.
“Yeah?” Kate asked just to make sure it was for real.
“Yeah,” Lucy said. “I’ve been looking for you. I found you. Let’s go.”
“Ernie!” they both screamed out simultaneously and just like magic, the elevator doors opened.