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The night was cool and calm, millions of stars twinkling brightly in the clear summer sky and a symphony of crickets singing in the distance while two boys were lying in the grass simply watching the stars.
“See? Just follow that shape there and it looks like a brave knight, strong and kind with his sword at the ready to protect everyone no matter what.” Jougo pointed up at the sky with a bright smile and a laugh, looking at a shape in the stars only he and his companion could see.
The prince often spent his nights out here with his best friend like this, the two of them watching the stars and making up constellations together until the sun began to rise. It had quickly become one of Jougo’s favorite pastimes, along with pretty much anything else he did when he could be with Mamoru. For just a few hours he could forget all of his troubles and fears, the thoughts of his crown and all that came with it left far away back in the castle, and for just a little while he could truly feel happy.
Meanwhile, Mamoru simply smiled, pointing up at a different cluster of stars, “And over there, you can see a radiant prince. He’s shining bright and warm on everyone, and even if he doesn’t realize it, his smile alone is enough to light up all of the people around him.”
Even though Mamoru’s face was as calm and collected as ever behind his normal white and gold mask, inside he felt like a twisting typhoon. Seeing Jougo was always what he looked forward to each and every night, but these secret meetings always brought along a mess of thoughts and words he could faintly grasp but knew he could never say. So close and yet forever out of reach, just like the prince and the knight they’d both found up in the sky.
Seeing his companion’s constellation Jougo couldn’t help but wonder if that prince also wished he could be something else and be able to find a destiny of his own. Did the prince and the knight really need to be so far away?
“We should put them together, the prince and the knight.” Jougo quickly suggested with his usual vibrant cheer.
Mamoru curiously looked over at his friend, his mask hiding the faint pink blush growing on his face, but before he could ask Jougo what he meant, the prince had already closed the short distance between them and took hold of his protector’s hand, the two of them lying so close to each other now that their shoulders were touching.
Jougo laughed as he raised his and Mamoru’s intertwined hands up to the night sky, using them to point to each of their constellations, “See? Just follow these stars here and those over there, and now the knight and the prince we made can be right next to each other, just like anyone else.”
Mamoru’s eyes followed their hands as they drew lines in the sky, watching as their constellations seemed to move closer and closer together, finally meeting in the middle of the vast space that had separated them, the prince appearing to leap into the knight’s arms. He thought they looked happy together, if the random drawings the two of them made in the sea of stars could have feelings that is. Though that thought couldn’t help but make Mamoru echo Jougo’s cheery laughter from moments ago, seeing how easily the stars had been moved in his mind.
Things went quiet for just a moment as another calm breeze blew across the field, both of them staring up at their new constellation, their hands still linked together.
“If only we could do that in real life too…” Jougo spoke those words so faintly that Mamoru almost didn’t hear them.
All of a sudden Jougo’s happy energy from before seemed to be gone, now replaced by an air of melancholy. For as long as the prince could remember he had been told exactly how his life would go. Absolutely everything was decided for him by absolutely everyone except for himself. What he would do, who he would be, even who he could love had already been decided for him the very moment he was born. As the thoughts surrounding his yearning for freedom consumed his mind, Jougo slowly turned to look at Mamoru lying in next to him, squeezing his companion’s hand just a little tighter for a brief second.
Why wasn’t he allowed to decide where his own fate took him?
Meanwhile Mamoru simply stared up at the sky, his own wistful expression hidden behind his mask, and his words fell from his mouth before he even knew he was speaking, “But it’s impossible to truly rewrite the stars…”
“But, what if we could?” Jougo spoke with a hint of hope in his words as he looked back to the sky as well.
Just now they had so easily rearranged how the stars had looked to them, why couldn’t they do it for themselves?
As much as Mamoru wanted to believe such a miracle could exist, he knew it simply wasn’t possible. Since waking up here he had learned what the laws of this kingdom entailed, and he knew it meant that no matter how much he may have wanted it, he could never have what his heart truly desired. Even if every other piece of the puzzle fell perfectly into place, there would be mountains in his path that he could never cross. To think that he could do anything like changing the stars was nothing more than a childish dream.
But the desolate silence was broken as Jougo spoke up once again, “You know, I’ve had so many dreams of getting to escape from it all. So many of them where you and I meet one night and we just decide to leave all of this behind, and we simply walk away from this entire kingdom hand in hand and never look back. You know…” And then he paused for a moment, as if he was having trouble finding his words, “You know how I feel about you, right Mamo?”
Mamoru suddenly froze, that one simple, innocent question turning his heart into a raging tempest once more. Of course he knew, or he thought he did. At least, he knew how Jougo should feel about him, to save them both the pain anyway.
After taking a deep breath to regain his composure, Mamoru finally answered, “Of course I do. I am… your treasured friend, right?”
He knew that he was just twisting the knife into his own heart by saying that, but it was better than giving himself hope of something he knew could never be.
But Jougo wasn’t content with that answer and he once again turned to look at his dearest companion, the one who felt closer to him than even the person he grew up like a sibling with, holding tight to his hand as if his very life depended on it.
“No, Mamoru.” The brunette’s voice was soft, but his words rang full of strength, “You’re more than that. You’ve always been more than that. Mamoru, I love you.”
Truthfully, Jougo felt like he had known this for a while, he just hadn’t wanted to say it out loud. He liked how things had always been for them, out here they were just two normal people and he didn’t want to risk losing that by admitting he wanted something more. Besides, he knew the law, no matter what either of their feelings may have been Mamoru was not a prince or lord of any kind, and though he may have looked like it he wasn’t officially a knight either. But none of that mattered to him in the slightest, because he didn’t care about Mamoru for what he was, he loved Mamoru for who he was.
Hearing Jougo speak those simple words had shaken Mamoru to his very core. He had to be dreaming, right? Yes, that had to be it. He had just accidentally fallen asleep while they were stargazing and now this was all just a very realistic dream. There was no way that Jougo had actually meant that, right?
The gentle warmth he felt as Jougo squeezed his hand yet again brought him back to reality though and he saw Jougo staring back at him with so much of that joy and warmth shining in his caramel brown eyes. This was no dream, and Mamoru knew it, he had known it the moment he had heard Jougo speak, but he still didn’t want to believe that these feelings he had held down and kept to himself for so long could really be reciprocated.
“Jougo, I…” Mamoru’s voice cracked as he fumbled around his words, “But you know that we can’t…”
Tears welled behind his mask, but whether it was from the joy of this revelation or the fear of what stood in their way was yet to be determined.
But Jougo was still undeterred as he sat up and took hold of Mamoru’s hand with both of his own.
“I know what the law says and I don’t care! Every single person in my life has made every single decision for me every single day of my life, but I am making this one!” a fire burned in Jougo’s words that Mamoru had never heard before, “Everyone tells me what my stupid destiny is supposed to be, but what if I want to choose my own? You are the destiny I want, Mamoru. I don’t want a castle, or a crown, or anything else! I just want you.”
Now Mamoru sat up as well, his free hand reaching up and slowly removing the mask from his face revealing his blue and green heterochromatic eyes. Why he felt like removing his mask now, he couldn’t say, really his emotions were such a tangled mess right now he wasn’t sure what to think of anything. All he could think about right now was the boy sitting in front of him, the boy who held his entire heart.
“Jougo, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that, but…” Though Mamoru smiled as he spoke his eyes showed all of the pain in his heart, “I love you. I love you so much, Jougo. But we both know that we can’t be together. Out here it can just be you and me, but anywhere else in the kingdom you are a prince and I’m not anywhere near worthy of your heart. I want nothing more than to be with you, but it’s not our decision to make, my love.”
Carefully, Mamoru placed his hand over Jougo’s, simply choosing to memorize the softness and warmth it held. Perhaps they could have had a relationship of some sort in secret and try to keep their love hidden to only these moments late at night together, but there was no avoiding that someday Jougo would have to become king and his visits would grow less and less frequent as a result, or that the prince may even be expected to marry someone before taking the throne. Truly, it was better for both of them if he let Jougo find someone else. It would be easier and less painful than letting them both get their hopes up for something they could never have here.
Though Jougo simply looked back at Mamoru, seemingly lost in his eyes. One a shimmering sapphire and the other a shining emerald, and both of them so full of overwhelming joy and heartache. He had only ever seen Mamoru’s eyes once or twice before, but he was always sure that they were far more beautiful than any gemstone. He could remember how they had shined with such a bright light back then, seeing them full of tears now only caused him pain.
So Jougo shook his head, continuing to stand his ground, “I already told you, Mamo. I don’t care. I love you. You’re strong, and kind, and no one could possibly make me happier than you do, so if we can’t be happy here then we can just go find somewhere that we can be happy together! I don’t care what anyone else says, they can’t make me stop loving you! So please, Mamoru, let’s go. Let’s run away from all of this, make our own destiny! We rewrite the stars for our constellations all the time, so why don’t we do it for ourselves?”
Everything fell silent as time seemed to move in slow motion, not even the wind dared to make a single sound, but thoughts still tumbled through Mamoru’s head at an alarming pace. Was Jougo really suggesting that they just run away together? He had to admit that he wanted nothing more than to escape and live happily ever after with his prince, but could they really?
Slow and careful, Mamoru reached out and gently placed his hand on Jougo’s cheek, the brunette smiling and leaning into his soft touch, and Mamoru couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like waking up next to that same precious smile every single day.
“It won’t be easy if we leave.” Mamoru spoke in a hushed tone, “We’ll most likely have to run for a long time, it could even be impossible for us to find somewhere that we won’t be chased to. I don’t even know if I can keep you safe or give you anything like what you’re used to in the castle.”
“It’s not impossible, I know it.” Jougo said, still smiling, “I’ll be fine as long as I’m with you, I don’t need anything else. Come on, Mamo! If no one else will let us be happy here then it’s up to us to go find it together!”
Stars sparkled in Jougo’s eyes as he continued excitedly pushing for the two of them to leave the kingdom together, and that energy must have been infectious as Mamoru found himself looking more and more forward to the idea of it. How could he say no when Jougo asked him with so much enthusiasm and confidence in his voice, when that bright sunshine that he always seemed to radiate was one of the reasons he’d fallen in love with him to begin with?
So finally, with a soft laugh Mamoru gave in, “Okay. Let’s go back to my house and gather what we can. We can leave tonight and get as far away as we can before anyone knows that we’ve left.” He paused to tenderly brush his fingers through Jougo’s hair, “You’re all I want too, Jougo. Through every high and every low we face, we’ll find somewhere we can live happily, I promise.”
With an excited gasp Jougo threw his arms around Mamoru, sending them both crashing back down into the grass again in a fit of laughter. For the moment, Mamoru simply let an arm wrap around his beloved, his other hand gently caressing his face and letting his fingers brush through Jougo’s soft brown hair once again.
Now Jougo felt joyful tears in his eyes as he beamed at the man he loved, “Do you mean it, Mamo? Are we really going?”
Mamoru nodded, “Yes, we are. You’re right, no one can say what we get to be. So why don’t we rewrite the stars?”
A new fire was ignited in Mamoru’s heart, and it burned with the most comforting warmth he had ever known. For so long he had felt lost without his past memories, but now he had a life he wanted to fight for, a life he would run to the ends of the earth for, so long as it meant that he could continue to see Jougo smile.
There was a lot to worry about with this plan of theirs, but right now it all felt so right. In that moment, with the night sky shimmering beautifully behind Jougo, Mamoru finally swallowed all of his fears and leaned forward to kiss his prince.
For a split second Jougo’s eyes widened before falling closed again as he blissfully kissed Mamoru in return. It was soft and sweet, and sent a feeling like sparks running all across his skin, magical couldn't even begin to describe it. One of his hands moved to briefly comb through the short blonde hair on the back of Mamoru’s neck and all he could think about was how much he wanted this one moment to last forever.
When Mamoru finally pulled away both of them were smiling and giggling, still lovingly lost in each other.
“Okay,” Mamoru eventually said with another bright laugh, “We really should go get what we can from my house and leave if we really want to do this.”
There would be plenty of time for cuddles and soft kisses and everything else this wonderful feeling brought with it later, for now they needed to focus on getting as much distance behind them as they could while they still had the cover of night on their side.
Jougo nodded quickly, “Yeah! Come on, let’s get going, Mamo! To our happily ever after!”
And so after gathering whatever they could from the small cottage and fitting it into a pair of bags they each threw over their shoulders, the new lovebirds set out from the kingdom hand in hand, ready to rewrite the stars and find their own destiny together.