Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Introductions and Impressions
Kitty liked riding in her family's carriage. It was smaller than would be considered comfortable, and somewhat stuffy when it housed herself, her parents, and her older sister. But, despite the small annoyances, the rumble of the road beneath the wheels was soothing, and there was something exciting about travel. Kitty had hardly been anywhere outside of Hertfordshire. The idea of new buildings and land and perhaps even different trees and plants was exciting.
“Kitty, sit up straight would you? You give me back pains just looking at the way you twist yourself!” Mrs. Bennet cried when the silence had become too much for her.
Kitty sighed and straightened herself out of the corner. She couldn't see the passing countryside unless leaning against the side of the carriage where the curtains left a crack. The curtains had been closed to avoid her mother's headache from increasing in severity, although it had done little to improve her mood.
Mrs. Bennet had emotions that were like the tide. They would ebb and flow at a rhythm that Kitty could predict with a decided measure of accuracy. Mrs. Bennet's mood would fall with too little stimulation, and if she were bored enough she was likely to find something to be cross at, especially if her focus could turn to her daughters.
Mary avoided most of the insult, by simply never being bothered by the words of others. She had a book she had brought, but the movement of the carriage and the fine print would make her ill. She had spent most of their days traveling, making herself sick and then recovering enough to repeat the process. Kitty could hardly understand the point when it wasn't even a novel.
Kitty, on the other hand, was used to having a companion in her sister Lydia, or at the very least her sisters, Jane and Elizabeth, who would not have ignored her so greatly as Mary. But, her other sisters were gone, Lydia was married and Jane and Elizabeth would soon follow suit.
It felt odd to travel so far only to be saying goodbye, although Kitty was certain she was alone in her sentiments.
“Oh, I shouldn't think I could ever be more overwhelmed with happiness than I am now!” Mrs. Bennet exclaimed when the carriage had reached a level of silence that she could not abide, “Don't you agree Mr. Bennet?”
Mr. Bennet had been nearly dozing when his wife questioned him, but he was good enough to respond, “I am quite overwhelmed. I shall be giving away my two most sensible daughters. There should be little respite of peace with my Lizzie so far removed.”
“Oh, you do tease me! Are you not at peace with the knowledge that your daughters should be married so well! It is all I have dreamed about since I first saw my dearest Jane in my arms. To think three of my five daughters have found husbands in such a short time. I would hope to say five but three is just as well. I worry that my last two will not be so quickly engaged,” Mrs. Bennet said with more ease than was kind.
Kitty did not protest her mother's words. She wished to, but did not have the sharp tongue of Lydia and Elizabeth. Kitty did not like being insulted so openly, but to protest would also be admitting that they thought her lesser than her sisters, and saying such things out loud was too terrible to try.
“If I am never engaged I would not be upset. I have no need for the frivolities that the weaker of the fairer sex are prone to. I have my books to keep me company and most I find hold more value than the acquaintance of a gentleman can bring,” Mary said. Her book on her lap once more.
“Perhaps we can find a clergyman who would see you and your book wed. I'm sure no one would object at mass,” Kitty said, and for a moment she felt like she sounded like Lydia.
Mary let out a noise that had no name but did not hide her anger, turning away, and Mrs. Bennet did not tell her to sit up straight. Kitty felt guilty for the jab, but she had endured far worse with more poise. Lydia was fond of teasing. She had been the youngest, but with her height and the way she carried herself, most had assumed her Kitty's senior. It was her mannerisms that had won her the heart of Mr Wickham as well, even if their actions afterwards had nearly led the Bennet family into ruin.
It had been three months since Lydia Bennet had become Mrs. Wickham and moved Newcastle. The only person to willingly bring her name up in conversation had been Mrs. Bennet. Everyone else is embarrassed by her. Kitty had only been left to hear pieces of a whole story. They had fallen in love and ran away to London, were eventually found and persuaded to wed. Lydia was still sending letters to Kitty, but her story of the tale was fanciful, and it was too hard to tell what was fact and what was false.
“I am disappointed that my brother will not be there to see my daughters wed,” Mrs. Bennet said, as if on cue.
“Aunt and Uncle will visit Pemberley after we leave right?” Kitty asked.
“Yes, that was what they said in their letter, but more interesting I believe is that Mr. Gardiner said that along with his wife he will bring another guest,” Mrs. Bennet said.
“Who?” Kitty asked, thankful for the interesting conversation.
“A young gentleman who my brother has taken under his wing, teaching him the ways of trade and business. I think it is very inconsiderate of him to not bring this young man earlier so that we may meet him. He is too careless when he knows that I still have two girls in desperate need of suitors,” Mrs. Bennet scoffed.
“Mother! I hope you don't think we are so desperate. Lydia had offered to have me visit her. Why, she says they have a ball every fortnight and she dines with officers nearly every evening.”
“Absolutely not,” Mr. Bennet said, and Kitty had the good sense not to counter him. Her father had been abundantly clear about his position on Kitty visiting her sister, and Kitty did not want to argue in a place where she couldn't retreat to her room when the yelling became too great.
“I wrote my brother back and told him my feelings. I do hope he rethinks his schedule,” Mrs. Bennet said, and there was little anyone could add. Mary picked up her book and Kitty opened the curtain enough to watch a sliver of passing hills on the horizon.
Pemberly was more grand than Kitty could imagine a house. Netherfield Park had been impressive, but Pemberly was wholly different. It was old, but well taken care of and the gardens were vast. The carriage traveled up a tree-lined road that went nearly a mile before the manor came into view. Mrs. Bennet's headache was completely forgotten and all curtains were opened so they might see the house the very moment they were able. Even Mary put aside her indifference for wonder. There was talk of the costs such a building would take. It was known that Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth's betrothed, made 10,000 pounds a year and owned much of Derbyshire.
Kitty had only met Mr. Darcy a few times outside of balls. He had never spoken to her or Lydia and that had made Lydia nearly boil over with terrible opinions. Kitty had not liked him much either, but he must be good somehow if Elizabeth loved him. He had stayed in Hertfordshire after the engagement for a time, but business and Kitty suspected nerves had taken him away.
Elizabeth and Jane had gone to Pemberly a week earlier to prepare for their weddings. Mrs. Bennet had been inconsolable for a time at the perceived slight of not taking her with them, but had quickly recovered. The joy of her daughters marrying was too great to be suppressed for long.
Jane and Lizzie were waiting for them when they arrived. There was luggage to bring in, and rooms to be shown to, and a different servant for every task and every door to be opened. Kitty was swept up in the energy of it all. Pemberly was even larger inside. The ceilings were tall and the doorways wide and every inch was accounted for and decorated. Even the guest room for Kitty and Mary was beautiful. The furniture was a dark wood and the size was twice the size of her room at home. Everything was so perfectly in place that Kitty could not ignore the feeling of being out of place herself.
“I have heard that Mr. Darcy has quite the library. I should like to see what volumes he may have,” Mary was saying, “and I am aware his sister is in possession of a piano forte that I would be most remiss to leave without a chance to play.”
Kitty finally gave herself leave to walk about the room, “What do you suppose his sister in like?” she asked.
“I have heard that she is most accomplished.” Mary said. She was opening her luggage, which seemed to house more books than dresses.
“I have heard her to be prideful and standoffish,” Kitty said, running her hand along the baseboard of the bed, feeling the valleys and mountains of the carved wood, “That is what Lydia says that Mr. Wickham has told her. She also said that Miss Darcy had once loved Mr. Wickham but he rejected her. She said he did it most nobly, but I'm not sure how one can say they don't love someone back in any way other than heartbreakingly.”
“Gossip is the way to ruin,” Mary answered, and Kitty's face flushed. She missed Lydia most of all during times like this. Lydia could be sharp with her words and tease someone without mercy, but she never made Kitty feel like she was silly or foolish or rude.
Kitty didn't continue the conversation, and Mary made no indication that she minded at all.
The weddings were to take place the following morning. Kitty was fairly sure that that was to keep her mother's influence at a minimum. Mrs. Bennet had immediately demanded to see how the ballroom had been made up and what dresses they would wear and what flowers would be brought in. Kitty was thankful that she was not a bride, the stress seemed too great.
The hour had been so late that they were seated to a supper, but the other members of the household had already eaten. Kitty would not see anyone but her family until the wedding itself.
Kitty lay awake worrying. She wasn't exactly sure what she was nervous about, but somehow this wedding seemed important, as if she were being presented to Elizabeth and Jane's new families and if she didn't make a good enough impression that she would lose them as well.
There was always chaos at Longbourn before a ball or dinner. Kitty and her sisters were always rushing about, flitting from one room to another, always late and always in a hurry. Jane would be ready first and would have found a sensible seat in the sitting room to await their leave. Elizabeth would always have one thing or another that she would remember to need done. Lydia would change her mind on her dress or fan or hair three times. It was always three, never more and absolutely never less. Mary would find the call to practice her newest learned piano piece and fill the home with songs that hardly fit the feel of the day. And Kitty would just walk from room to room, enjoying the chaos and helping Lydia with her hair and have the favor returned.
The morning of the weddings was chaotic as well, Kitty did not feel at ease by it. Servants were rushing by her door, causing Kitty to jump with a start at every heavy footfall that passed. The kitchen sat across the courtyard, and with their window open, the shouts could be heard. A {kitchen girl} had burnt a pot of soup and they had to dump it out. Kitty could hear her mother fretting loudly in the room across the hall, her cries rising like high tide. Mary was reading in the chair that sat beside the morning light.
Kitty was trying to pull her dark hair up into a bun, but her curls were too unruly. The moment she had the right side pulled up, curls from the left would fall out of place. She had to be careful to not ruin the ringlets. She had put her hair into paper curls the night before easily enough, but she had lost her usual help in styling. Jane and Elizabeth had aided her in the last few months, but they were likely too busy now.
“Mary?” Kitty looked over at her sister, “Could you help me? I could do your makeup, I used to do Lydia's make up and I think I'm quite good at it.”
Marry sniffed, “A young girl's completion should not be muddied with perfumes and powders. I have no need for such things.”
Kitty watched as Mary returned to her book, “Fine! I wish from the bottom of my heart that you should never need my help with such things for as long as you live, because I will never help you.” her hand squeezed on the wooden handle of her brush hard enough to hurt and she turned away to focus her energies on keeping her tears at bay, for they would ruin her own perfumes and powders.
Mrs. Bennet would sometimes say that Mary was her only plain daughter, but Kitty knew that was only by choice. Mary hardly wore ribbons or lace and she seemed content to own a single nice dress that she wore for Sunday service as well as most formal functions. Her hair was sharply parted and pulled back into a low sitting bun. A few curls sat in front of her ears but that was it. Kitty had never known her to wear flowers or ribbons in her hair, even at balls. Her hair was a pretty chestnut, the reddest of all the Bennet girls, and her skin clear, if a little red from the harsh morning wash.
Kitty's skin was freckled a bit too much for most's taste, but her face was round and she thought her smile to be very good. Her hair was the darkest of her sisters, but if she brushed it well it would shine prettily.
Today her hair frizzed from curls falling out and looked dull. Kitty relented and pulled her hair back tighter than she would have liked and fixed a bun that did not show off the hours work of setting her curls the night before, but would guarantee her hair would stay in place. She tried to reset the curls that framed her face with her fingers, but pulled most back with a thick blue bandeau. She didn't need to look her best, she had decided, it wasn't her day to shine anyway.
The wedding was beautiful. They had set up chairs and flowers in the ballroom to account for the amount of family who had come for the double wedding. Jane stood up with Mr. Bingley and they both seemed to share the same overwhelming happiness. IT flowed through them and infected most in the room. Mr. Bingley's sister, Miss Charlotte Bingley stood beside Jane and had a face masked with indifference when she thought no one was looking at her. The third Bingley sibling sat with her husband, Mr. Hurst. Mr. Hurst looked bored, which seemed unreasonable to Kitty, when so much of interest was going on.
Elizabeth looked happy as well and, like Jane, looked very beautiful. Jane had a new dress of soft pink and Elizabeth had a new sash around her old dress that made the green of the embroidery around her sleeves pop. The same flowers around the room were woven in their hair.
Mr. Darcy stood tall and proper, and his face was hard to read. Kitty wasn't sure if he was happy or not. His cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam stood beside him in uniform. He reminded Kitty of Mr. Wickham, even if he bares little resemblance excepting a similarly hued coat. Colonel Fitzwilliam was older and less handsome, but not embarrassingly less than Mr. Wickham, but Kitty wasn't sure if that was simply her memories making things more pretty than they had been.
Standing beside Elizabeth was Georgiana Darcy. Her hair was a lighter blond than Jane's and she had a very pretty face with a light blush that sat high on her cheekbones. Her dress was fine and light and she stood still and graceful and didn't look around the room once.
“That is Miss Darcy right? She is our age is she not?” Kitty whispered to Mary, her anger from the morning had since simmered.
Mary did not turn towards her, but still whispered back, “She is sixteen.”
“Sixteen, just a year younger than I, and she has not been out in society yet? I heard she lives in London, how can that be possible?” Kitty kept her voice low, even at their distance from others, she did not want to be overheard.
“She has been bettering herself. Women of such beauty and fortune cannot simply flaunt themselves without risk,” Mary said.
“I suppose after the issue with Mr. Wickham,” Kitty shrugged, “She certainly looks very serious.”
“It is good to be serious,” Mary insisted, straightening her back.
Kitty could only stifle a giggle and remain silent, for fear of insulting her sister.
The wedding breakfast seemed to awaken some of the most silent guests. There was a large cake that sat at the center with browned almond icing and white refined sugar icing and enough alcohol soaked into the cake that Kitty could not take more than a bite of it. There were eggs boiled hard and thick cuts of ham seasoned with brown sugar and berry jams and soft buttery rolls. The soup hardly seemed missed.
Elizabeth sat beside her husband but Kitty had managed to be seated beside her as well. Her sister had not changed with her new title of Mrs. Darcy. She still joked with Jane across the table and spoke animatedly to Mr. Bingley, describing a story of a missing shoe with lively spirits.
Mary was trying to explain the finer contents of her book to their mother, but Mrs. Bennet kept interrupting her to try to converse with Miss. Bingley, who was not interested in the slightest. The men were discussing hunting in the area, but as Kitty listened, it sounded as if hunting in Derbyshire was identical to the rest of England.
“Kitty, how have you found Pemberly?” Elizabeth asked.
Kitty was thoughtful for a moment, “It's very beautiful. I think that a lot of thought and care has been placed into its design and I have seen only four rooms so far.”
Elizabeth laughed, “I cannot agree more. I think I was as speechless as you have been on my first viewing of it too. Come now, I know you to be lively and loud, why the change?”
“I wonder if you confuse me with Lydia, she can hold conversations with much more ease,” Kitty answered.
The mention of Lydia was sobering, but Elizabeth still smiled, “If you insist on the characterization, sister. What plans do you have in Meryton? I think I may even miss the assemblies. I know there to be some in Derbyshire should the nostalgia become too great.”
Kitty looked away, “I have not been to an assembly for a time. There had been one a week ago, but Mary does not enjoy them and mother is not always keen on going with me alone.”
“I'm sorry, Kitty,” Elizabeth tried, but Kitty only returned a smile.
“There is nothing to be sorry for. Today is a happy day, and I have found much to do without the need to travel to Meryton much at all. I think I should much rather talk of this missing shoe I heard you mention than assemblies or plans.” Kitty said.
Elizabeth began the story once more and Kitty looked down at her plate until it no longer blurred.