Chapter Text
They had been waiting weeks for news after the first missive. It had come with the spring rains and was just as short: Cloud Recesses burned. No survivors.
Jiang Yanli cried a little when she heard it read. Jiang Cheng had pressed his lips into a line and stared down at the ground. Wei Ying was the only one who refused to believe it.
Earlier today, Yu Ziyuan had stood at the end of the long veranda, Zidian crackling from beneath her sleeve and eyes spitting fire. "If you take even one step out of Lotus Pier, you can forget about coming back."
Wei Ying was on his toes, surging forward. Jiang Cheng had both hands fisted in the fabric of his robes and threw his whole body back as a counterweight. Still, Wei Ying couldn't be stopped. Jiang Cheng was pulled slowly, agonizingly down the wooden walkway. "We have to help." Wei Ying said through his teeth. "We have to try."
Jiang Fengmian tried to reason with him. "The Wens are shooting down our pigeons and picking off our messengers. No news doesn't mean bad news. We should wait."
"You're the sect leader," Yu Ziyuan hissed at him. "Just order him to go back inside."
Wei Ying had heard from the boatmen and merchants who entered Yunmeng from the east that the Gusu peaks were still crawling with Wens. They wouldn't still be there if there had been no survivors. They were looking for somebody and the longer they waited, the more likely the Wens might succeed. Wei Ying couldn't stand by and do nothing. He also couldn't argue with Yu Ziyuan anymore. He did enough of that already. He had shouted himself hoarse, but no one would listen. He was going and that was it.
"Maybe the message was a ruse," Jiang Yanli said from the side. "Maybe it was meant for the Wens to intercept. If they thought the Lans had perished maybe they will leave. We can go to Gusu then."
Wei Ying heard the hum of Zidian before he felt it. He felt it in his bones. He hadn't even seen Yu Ziyuan move. It was blindingly bright up close and made the air all around it sizzle and crack. It snapped against the sheathe of Suibian and Wei Ying's whole arm went numb. The sword fell with a clatter. Jinzhu swooped it up and delivered it to her mistress.
"No one is going anywhere," Yu Ziyuan said.
Wei Ying's fingers were red and blistering. His skin had split between his thumb and index and drops of scarlet colored in the rain puddle beneath his feet.
Jiang Fengmian pressed a balled-up kerchief into Wei Ying's bloody hand and laid one heavy palm on the boy's shoulder. "You don't have to wait long. I think we should be expecting some visitors soon." His eyes flickered up towards the sky surreptitiously.
Wei Ying followed his gaze. The wispy black tails of a dire owl flitted between the grey clouds.
Jiang Cheng ground his teeth together. "That's the second one today."
"Someone is coming," Jiang Fengmian said firmly. "Just wait."
Wei Ying knew a lost cause when he saw one. Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan were so rarely ever in agreement that the occurrence of such a thing was too powerful for Wei Ying to withstand by himself. He conceded and agreed to wait.
Until nightfall, that is.
The confiscation of Suibian was a stroke of genius on Yu Ziyuan's part. Without a sword to fly on, he'd have to travel by foot. But if she thought that might deter Wei Ying's resolve then she proved what he had suspected all along - that she did not know him at all.
Wei Ying cut open his injured hand again when he vaulted over the walls and grimaced through the pain. It stung like crazy when he dove into the lake, ducking under the narrow boats lined up along the dock. He bumped his head against the hulls a few times. It was still too early in the year for people to be out and about at this hour and there weren't enough lanterns lit on the waters for him to see clearly.
The chill of the lake and sting in his hand made him smile. Not because he was a masochist, but because he was petty. He imagined what Jiang Fengmian might say if his bloated body was found frozen to death on the shores or if he was discovered cut and quartered by Wen swords with his entrails spread over miles. It would be Yu Ziyuan's fault that he was out alone and unarmed. Jiang Fengmian's forehead vein would throb like it always did and he might be compelled to unclench his jaw and say something to her other than his usual refrain of, "That's enough."
Yu Ziyuan would deserve it, whatever it was.
Wei Ying had no doubt that if it was Lotus Pier that burned, the Gusu Lans would fly to their rescue without any hesitation. It was carved right there on their Wall of Discipline, smack in the middle of their three thousand precepts: Help all who are in need.
Lan Wangji was in need.
In the midst of quieter moments in the this past week, Wei Ying became aware that Lan Wangji's face was the one that always came to him first. He hadn't noticed this by himself. Jiang Cheng had pointed it out to him with a sour twist of his lips. "Lan Wangji this, Lan Wangji that. Is Lan Wangji the only person you know at Gusu?"
Wei Ying heard Cloud Recesses and he thought of Lan Wangji. Burning. Lan Wangji. No survivors. What about Lan Wangji? Wei Ying thought his concern was well justified. Lan Wangji was someone who did not know how to kowtow and bide his time. Faced with an enemy that he could not overcome Lan Wangji would not make the tactial choice to retreat and fight another day. He would run at it, head on, even if he knew he might be smashed into pieces like an egg against a rock.
Do not give way to evil, said the Wall of Discipline.
Wasn't dying a permanent kind of way giving?
You better be holed up in a cave somewhere, Lan Wangji, Wei Ying thought. He was going to have some choice words for that stick-in-the-mud when he finds him.
Shivering and dripping, Wei Ying clambered up on to the bank and looked toward the east. He decided to bear with the cold for now. He could dry himself off with his Golden Core but there was still a long way to go. He should save his energy just in case.
Not two steps away from the water, Wei Ying felt all the hair on his arms suddenly stand up on ends.
There were coarse woods scattered along this side of the lake with sparse foliage overhead. During the day it may not do him any good, but on a dark moonless night like tonight, Wei Ying had just enough coverage to be able to stay unseen.
He tilted his head and listened. There was the softest footsteps and the rustle of cloaks from among the trees. The air all around was dead and stale with the kind of cold unease that was often followed by the prickle of wayward resentment.
Even those who did not cultivate could feel this. For them, it might come as a sense of foreboding. Wei Ying pressed his spine into the bark of the tree and peered up. A dire owl was perched just overhead on the highest branch. Its eyeless head swivelled this way and that at impossible angles.
Wei Ying stood very, very still. His bandaged hand crept automatically to his side even know he knew he was going to find no hilt there. His fingers grasped at air. If only he had Suibian. He was in the perfect position to turn this owl into a chicken skewer.
The soft footsteps ahead faltered, followed by a thump.
The dire owl unfurled its smoky wings and took off into the night sky.
It was on the hunt.
Wei Ying stayed low to the ground, moving toward where the sound of rustling robes came from. He could hear panting now too. And then, behind a squat mulberry tree, he saw a thin pale face, staring back at him with bulging eyes.
"Nie-xiong?"
Nie Huaisang looked like he was about to start bawling. "Wei-xiong," he blubbered. "Thank the heavens, thank the moon, thank the Jade Emperor up in his throne-"
"Shh! Thank the dirt you're about to buried in if you don't be quiet." Wei Ying wrinkled his nose. Nie Huaisang stank like manure. "What did you do, crawl through a farm field?"
"I did," Nie Huaisang said. His voice wavered and his eyes got all shiny. "How did you know?"
Wei Ying peered up at the sky. "Get up. Come with me-"
Nie Huaisang started shaking his head before Wei Ying finished speaking. "They don't want me." He raised up the silk-wrapped bundle that he was carrying under one arm. "Take this."
Wei Ying felt the hum of resentment from above draw slowly closer. "No, come-"
"Take it!" Nie Huaisang whispered urgently. "It's for you. Meng Yao was supposed to bring it but-"
"Where's your sword?" The dire owl was almost on them now.
"Take it back-"
Wei Ying wrenched the sword from Nie Huaisang's clammy hand and stuck a talisman onto the blade.
"-to Lotus Pier-"
Wei Ying spotted a tendril of black smoke among the foliage and hurled the sword with all the strength he could muster. The owl flitted at the last second and missed the tip of the blade by a hair. It let out an ear splitting screech and absconded into the clouds.
"It'll be back-" Wei Ying looked around and was surprised to find himself alone again. In the place where Nie Huaisang had crouched, only the silken bundle remained. "Where-"
"Keep it safe!" came the shout. Nie Huaisang sounded a long ways away already. After a beat, his sword plummet back down and landed upright in the dirt with a dull thunk. Abandoned without a thought.
"Nie-xiong," Wei Ying said, in disbelief.
Wei Ying wondered first if he should chance flying to Gusu on Nie Huaisang's sword. It might be as finicky as its owner but it would reduce the journey time by days. But first, Wei Ying bent to examine the bundle. He didn't know who gave this to Nie Huaisang to deliver, but they should've guessed that he would shirk his duty at the first opportunity. This was Wei Ying's problem now and he didn't have time to play courier. If he took this back to Lotus Pier now, Yu Ziyuan might break his legs to ensure he never left again. It was also too heavy and cumbersome for him to bring along to Gusu.
Inside the silk was a sandalwood box. Wei Ying stilled for a moment. His fingers traced the curves of the swirling clouds etched onto its sides. The corners were plated with frosty silver and its ornate lid was laden with a single jade bead.
This was about as extravagant as the Gusu Lans could get. It looked something he would find in the Library Pavilion. Of all things the Lans would seek to salvage from Cloud Recesses, their precious books were probably at the top of the list.
Wei Ying undid the latch and slowly lifted the lid. If there were really books in here, he would have to wrap it back up and bury it under this tree for safekeeping until he came back from his rescue mission. Lan Wangji would probably have a fit if he knew how Wei Ying planned to treat his precious tomes. But who would tell him?
There was the lightest brush of softest fur against Wei Ying's blistered fingers. Sometime inside the box moved.
"Gahh!" Wei Ying leapt back just in time to see a pale blur dart out from beneath the lid and into the underbrush.
Wei Ying's heart hammered in his throat. He imagined it was a dog at first, but it was small and round and had a hop in its step.
Was it a rabbit?
He followed it through the trees. It scampered around like it had lost its head, running in circles, diving this way then that. It tripped over a root, rolled gracelessly and then ran face first into a tree. It was limping. Otherwise, Wei Ying doubted he could've caught up with it at all.
He managed to corner the thing near the mulberry tree and picked it up by its scruff.
It was a cat.
Despite the dark of the night and the mud congealing on its belly, Wei Ying could tell that it had stark white fur from head to toes. Its little body squirmed in his grasp and its claws caught on his sleeves as it tried to gain some footing to turn itself around, probably so it could make another break for it.
There was something wrong with the right back leg. It was stiff.
"Who are you?" Wei Ying asked, stunned.
The cat meowed pathetically.
In the distance, a familiar screech echoed.
"I can't bury a cat, can I?" Wei Ying wondered aloud.
"Mmrrrrh," the cat whined.
"Probably shouldn't risk it," Wei Ying muttered.
"Mrrp," the cat said.
Wei Ying pulled open his collar and stuffed the furry little thing unceremoniously down the front of his still-wet robe. It protested loudly, but Wei Ying patted the lump in his chest and cooed, "Shh."
He picked up the box with his free hand and mounted Nie Huaisang's sword. Pointing it back toward the lanterns of Lotus Pier, he let out a small begrudging breath. "Nie-xiong." Wait till I get my hands on you. As he lifted off the ground, the box's lid dangled from its hinges. A little folded piece of paper fluttered out. Wei Ying tried to grab it, wobbling over the black water.
"Shit," he said, when it disappeared below. "Ah, well. Maybe it's not important."
The sword shook. "Don't drop us," he told it under his breath. Then he put one hand lightly on the lump. "And you. Don't move," he said. "If you fall into the lake, I'm not going in after you."
"Mmrr," came the muffled response.
It was almost if the cat could understand him.
xx
When Meng Yao said he had a way of smuggling them safely off the mountain, Lan Wangji never imagined it would be like this.
In fairness, he wasn't told of the details. He wasn't even consulted. Lan Xichen must have guessed that Lan Wangji might have some concerns. With their home under siege, Lan Xichen made the decision on his behalf and Lan Wangji woke up one morning covered in fur. He remembered looking down at his legs, now shorter in their entirety than the span of his hand used to be, and feeling terrified. He remembered being wrestled into a box by his uncle, deaf to all his protests. He remembered bumping along in the dark and hearing Meng Yao whisper, "This is no good. We'll never make it out. I'll lead them away. You take him the rest of the way."
Wangji heard Nie Huaisang's weak, "W-wait-" and remembered thinking: this was it. This was how he was going to die.
Perhaps that would've been better.
Anything would've been better than this.
Lan Wangji emerged from Wei Wuxian's collar covered in his smell. During their short time studying together, Lan Wangji did not recall noticing anything particularly distinctive about Wei Wuxian's scent. What had stood out more to Wangji back then were other things - that secret smile Wei Wuxian had whenever he got away with breaking a rule, or the startling strength he held in those supple limbs that allowed him to deliver every parry and jab in perfect form, or the distracting way he worried at his lip when he concentrated on his brushstrokes- Lan Wangji could go on forever.
But now, it was his scent that was overwhelming and impossible to ignore. Wei Wuxian smelled wild like the wind, bright like the sun, and sweet like the rice wine he liked to drink. It was both comforting and intoxicating. It made him dizzy.
Lan Wangji didn't even fight when Wei Wuxian raised him up to be inspected by sect leader Jiang. Like he was a roast duck. Wangji had never given in to anyone so quickly.
His leg hurt. The brace and the dressing had all fallen off when his body shrank and after that panic-induced madness in the woods, the pain seemed to have doubled. His ears hurt from when he headbutted a tree. His ego hurt too. His eyes hurt because the lanterns were too bright. And above all, Madam Yu's voice was too loud and grating.
"I warned you if you take even one step out of Lotus Pier-"
"I told you that I saw a signal over the lake," Wei Wuxian retorted. "It was a good thing I went too. Otherwise, this one-" he hefted Lan Wangji up in his arms and Wangji just wanted to curl into his chest and go to sleep, "-would've been owl food."
"What signal?" sect leader Jiang asked.
"You intended to go to Gusu," Madam Yu accused.
"I did not," Wei Wuxian said.
There was a growl in his voice that Lan Wangji felt with his whole body. Wangji wanted to be smothered in it.
"What else did Nie Huaisang say?" Jiang Wanyin asked. He kept asking this same question over and over again. His voice was grating too. "Just, 'Here's a cat,' and nothing else?"
"There was a letter," Lan Wangji told them.
"There was nothing else," Wei Wuxian insisted.
"It was in the box-"
"Make it stop meowing," Jiang Wanyin snapped.
Wangji lifted his head to glare at him. He hasn't changed. Rude as always.
Jiang Yanli reached over to scratch behind Lan Wangji's ears. "It's hurt. Poor thing."
"How come he can have a cat but I can't have a dog?"
"Ah-Cheng-"
"This can't be true," Jiang Wanyin snapped. "You just found some stray and made up a story."
"An unlikely story," Madam Yu added.
Wei Wuxian pointed to the box on the table. "It is from Gusu."
"But you can't keep pets in Cloud Recesses," Jiang Yanli said.
"I bet she's Lan Qiren's," Wei Wuxian said darkly. "It's always the strict ones that break the rules in secret."
Wangji's head raised higher. She?
"She?" Jiang Yanli asked.
"Look at that pretty little face," Wei Wuxian cocked his head. "It has to be a she."
Lan Wangji was torn between flattered and scandalized.
"Let's see," sect leader Jiang plucked Wangji out of the safe embrace of Wei Wuxian's arms and held him up. "Ah-Li can you hold up the legs?"
Oh, the shame of it all.
Lan Wangji wiggled to no avail. He extended his claws on impulse but couldn't quite bring himself to use them. Jiang Fengmian was an elder and a sect leader. It would be disrespectful for Wangji to do anything but what he was expected to. He gave up trying to cross his unwieldy little cat legs and learned to grin and bear with the indignity. One day, his brother will come rescue him. That day, the entire Jiang sect will discover his identity and they will all have this memory of this moment and there was nothing any of them could do about it.
"It's a he," sect leader Jiang announced.
Lan Wangji truly wished his brother had just left him in Gusu. He might actually prefer whatever the Wens had in store for him over this.
"Aw, look at his little ears," Jiang Yanli said. "They're as pink as lotus buds."
"Hm. They really are." Wei Wuxian was surveying him with a strange look on his face.
"What is it?" Lan Wangji asked.
"Interesting," Wei Wuxian said.
"What is?" Lan Wangji asked.
"Keep him in your room until his leg heals," sect leader Jiang said. "I'll see if we can make any heads or tails of this."
Nestled in Wei Wuxian's arm, Lan Wangji was carried into a courtyard. Jiang Yanli brought out a square crate of vials and vases smelling strongly like medicinal herbs. Her bandaging skills were fairly rudimentary, but Wangji appreciated the gesture.
Wei Wuxian watched on as she worked with that strange look still etched into his features. Finally, he reached over and prodded Lan Wangji's furry cheek. He was a little heavy handed. Wangji was tired and sore and endured about as much embarrassment as he could manage tonight. He had run out of patience. He turned his head and sank his teeth into Wei Wuxian's finger.
Wei Wuxian yelped.
Jiang Yanli had no sympathy for him. "Be gentle. He's just a baby." She stroked Wangji cheek with her fingertips. "See? He's not biting me."
She had seniority on Wangji, it would be inappropriate to bite her. Wei Wuxian was just about the only person Wangji could bite.
"He's small but he's tough," Wei Wuxian told her. "You should see him running for his life on that bad leg."
Jiang Yanli bent over Wangji with a soft smile. "Does it still hurt?"
"Mn," Lan Wangji replied.
"It does?"
"Mn."
"Here. I'll bind it tighter for you."
"Thank you." Lan Wangji meant it.
"You're welcome."
Wangji blinked up at her. She couldn't really understand him...could she? His little chest inflated with hope as he cleared his throat. "Miss Jiang, I am Lan W-"
"It has to be Lan Qiren," Wei Wuxian said, snapping his fingers.
Wangji was never going to get used to being constantly interrupted like this.
"Why would Lan Qiren have a cat?" Jiang Yanli asked.
Uncle would never.
"Maybe he's a spiritual cat?"
"I think I've heard of such a thing," Jiang Yanli said.
"Shi-jie." Wei Wuxian said slowly as that strange look from before crossed his features again. "Don't you think he looks like Lan Zhan?"
Wangji had never experienced such a confusing series of emotions, one after another in quick succession. First was the joyful relief of "finally, they have figured it out," followed immediately by the flustered annoyance of "how could a person look like a cat?" Did Wei Wuxian often liken him to a cat? He wasn't sure if he should be offended by the implication.
"Oh, he does!" Jiang Yanli laughed and Wangji realized they had not figured anything out after all.
"This is not a joking matter," Lan Wangji told them seriously.
Jiang Yanli offered him a small platter of steamed fish mixed with white rice. "Here, kitty kitty," she said.
Lan Wangji refused to dignify that with a response, but he had to confess the food was exactly to his taste. He hadn't realized how hungry he was. Without the use of fingers and thumbs, he supposed it was acceptable to forgo table manners in just this one instance and put his whole face into the plate. As he licked up the last flakes of soft fragrant fish, Wei Wuxian uncapped a small jar on the side. With a flick of his wrist, a dot of red chili oil fell onto the plate.
Wangji hadn't seen it coming.
It burned. Oh, heavens how it burned. His tongue was on fire. At a loss of what to do, he tried to shake the taste off his mouth.
Wei Wuxian had collapsed into a fit of howling laughter. "Look at him," he wailed, one finger wiping away a tear. "He might as well just be Lan Zhan."
"I am!" Wangji retorted, furious.
Wei Wuxian picked him up and hugged him close. "That's what I'm gonna call him." He stoked Wangji's chin. "Lan Zhan."
"Ridiculous." Lan Wangji said on reflex. Wei Wuxian made a habit of forgoing his courtesy name. It was awkward at the best of times and downright improprietous at worst.
But when Wei Wuxian smiled, Wangji's heart skipped a beat, and all was forgiven. He seemed to have this sort of effect on people, most of all on Wangji. It used to frighten Wangji to no end. But at this moment, under the orange glow of lotus lanterns and being cradled so gently in these arms that he had so admired once upon a time, Wangji felt nothing but gladness.
"Come, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian murmured. "Let's go to bed."
With his cheeks burning despite himself, Wangji allowed himself be carried away, wondering idly if the other boy could see the blush underneath the fur.
That first night in Wei Wuxian's room felt like a sort of deception. The boy might not have placed the cat so gingerly next to his pillow if he knew who the cat really was. Wangji laid down and closed his eyes, hoping on the day the truth came to light that Wei Wuxian wouldn't feel betrayed.
He fell asleep to the tune of Wei Wuxian's soft chuckle. "Look at you. What kind of cat sleeps with their belly stretched out like this? Do you think you're a person?"
Maybe it was the anxiety from the dangerous journey, or disquiet leftover from the troubles of the day, or even just the fact that the fur was too warm to sleep in; Lan Wangji awoke before dawn.
Next to him, Wei Wuxian had his back turned and his breath was rough and uneven. Lan Wangji raised his heavy head. The boy was sweating.
Was he alright?
"Wei Wuxian?" Wangji said. He repeated himself twice. There was no answer. Disgruntled, Lan Wangji raised his voice. "Wei Ying!"
The other boy turned to glance at him over his shoulder. That was when Lan Wangji noticed Wei Ying had his hand down between his legs.
"Ah," Lan Wangji looked away. He knew that feeling. It tended to come to him at the break of dawn as well. The cold spring at home helped dampen that particular fire most days. Other times, Lan Wangji would cross his legs and meditate right there on his bed. "Center yourself," he advised Wei Ying. "Draw breath slowly into your dantian. Breathe in through your nose. Breathe out through your mouth. Allow your Core to dissolve the impulse." All physical distractions could be dealt with this way. It was a good practice to strengthen the Golden Core.
Wei Ying's hand moved.
"D-dissolve," Lan Wangji said. "Wei Ying. Stop!"
Wei Ying looked back at him, bleary eyed. "Lan Zhan."
That sticky voice and that fumbling hand, with those dark eyes, half closed, and those soft lips, barely parted - the combination of it all made Lan Wangji choke on his own words right then and there.
"Don't look," Wei Ying said thickly.
Lan Wangji went to sleep on the floor. It was a wonder that his whiskers hadn't caught on fire.