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It was one of those days. The kind of days when you knew it was gonna be shitty. The kind when the earth wanted to punish you for no damn reason. How did I know? Because I have to visit her today. I made sure to write it down in my notebook, or else I would've forgotten. Without that book I'd be in real trouble.
The cover said "Yasuke Matsuda's Memory Notebook," written in a horrible handwriting. Inside it detailed my schedule, map, and anything I wanted to do organized at my convenience. I wasn't going to let some stupid illness take control over me, especially not something as stupid as memory loss. Still, the only one who could fix my condition is her, so I'm stuck with her until then.
I viewed my notebook one more time. According to the map, the Neuroscience Institute was located in the biology building. I shoved through the crowd of students trying to get to their classes. It must be nice remembering where the hell you are without having to use a dumb notebook.
Biology building, biology building. I chanted those words in my head so I wouldn't forget. Biology building. I arrived inside the building. Why the hell am I here? I tried to gather my thoughts but nothing came to mind. Defeated, I checked my notebook. That's right, I'm going to see her. I checked where the institute was on my map; it said it should be on the third floor. Third floor of institute. Third floor of institute. Third floor of institute.
"Young man!" I heard a voice behind me. "Where should you be? Class is starting now." It seemed to be one of the professors. With confidence, I said,
"Third floor of institute." What the fuck is wrong with me? I wanted to slap myself in the face.
"Which institute?" I froze. C'mon, you can remember, right? Just find the words, it's not that hard. You don't need to check that dumb notebook.
"The one on the third floor, I already said that."
"Do you know what kind of school this is? Or this is just some game to you? If you don't tell me I will gladly take you to administration."
I couldn't take it anymore, this guy had such a bad attitude. I snapped. "I'm not joking around! I'm going to see Ryoko Otonashi!" All the old man did was laugh. What the fuck was so funny?
"That's all? Well, she'll definitely be in the Neuroscience Institute. There's a huge metal label on the front of the lab, there's no way you can miss it." I wasn't going to. Does he really think I'm an idiot? I turned around and disregarded him. I had to go to the Neuroscience Institute on the third floor. I had to go see her.
I'm not sure why I was able to remember her. We've only been seeing each other for a month now, but she's ingrained in my brain for some reason. I couldn't describe it, no matter how hard I tried.
I finally saw the huge metal label with "NEUROSCIENCE INSTITUTE OF HOPE'S PEAK ACADEMY" written across. This is my stop. I could hear someone humming from the other side of the door. She was definitely in there. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
"Yasuke! You're here!" Ryoko gave me a tight squeeze, practically suffocating me.
"Let go of me you weirdo." I pushed her off of me, allowing myself to breathe again. She regained her balance and had a huge grin on her face. It was so annoying.
"Oh! Great news for you! I finally got the manga you wanted!" She ran towards one of the cabinets and grabbed a book from the shelf.
Manga? I never... I realized what she was doing. This must be one of her tests. That's right, she's testing my memory. "You got the one I ordered?"
"Yep! It took a while but-" she froze and gasped. "You remembered about the manga?!"
"Of course I did, I didn't even look in my notebook."
"Yasuke, that's amazing progress! Wait a second. If you do remember about it, then what's the name of the manga?" Ok, you got this. Name of the manga. What's the name? Name name name name name. My head was revolving around that one word. What was it again? The name. Find the name.
"Yasuke?" I felt Ryoko's hand on my shoulder. "Did you forget?"
"I didn't! I swear!"
"Then what were we just talking about?"
"It was about the name!"
"Name of what?"
Goddamn it. This is embarrassing. I sat down in the bed and opened my memory notebook. I flipped through the pages until I found a page mentioning a last name. "Dr. Deadlock. Says here that it's the name of a manga I wanted to read." I looked up from the book and saw Ryoko's sad face. She crossed her arms and stared at the ground.
"Why did you lie me? You said you remembered about the manga. But you needed the notebook to look up the name. I don't understand. I want to help you Yasuke. You know that, right?"
I couldn't say anything. My heart felt heavy, like a ball of chain weighing me down. I hated this feeling. I just wanted to disappear. I felt angry and I couldn't hold back.
"Well, you're doing a lousy job doing it!" I cried out. She gasped. "I'm still stuck here while I could be in class and doing something good for once! I just want to be normal again!" I was out of breath, I couldn't believed I used up all my energy. I curled up into a ball and pretended Ryoko wasn't there. I couldn't think straight. My head was screaming so loud.
"Normal?" She chuckled. I looked up and saw a warm smile on her face. How could she be smiling? "Yasuke, you're already normal." What the fuck is she talking about?
"Normal people don't have memory loss moron."
"Normal people have thoughts and feelings. Emotions like joy and sadness. They express themselves through their body when words aren't enough. You definitely do all those things."
I laid back on the bed while she brought the trolley. "But how can I express myself if I can't remember what I wanted to say? That's definitely not normal."
Ryoko sighed. "I get it Yasuke. You're in denial. You don't want to admit that you have a condition, so you pretend you're fine around others." I didn't know what to say. She put a suction pad on my forehead and continued.
"It's okay if the words don't come to you. That's your condition. You shouldn't be ashamed to use your notebook in front of others. And if someone does say something about it, write their name down. I'll deal with them myself." She smirked.
"What would you do?"
"Let's just say I've got an advantage as the ultimate neurologist." She giggled and placed another suction pad on my face. "I don't want you to think of me as a doctor. I want you to think of me as your best friend. If you need anything, let me know. I'm here for you. Always. Please don't forget that." She stroked my arm gently and placed more suction pads on my head.
My heart was beating so loud I swore it was gonna launch out of my chest. Her warm touch soothed my soul, and I could feel myself turning red. That's when I realized something.
My memory of Ryoko didn't come my brain, it came from my heart. That's why no matter how much I forgot, I could never forget her. I know it sounds like something out of a cheesy teen drama, but it's true. It was a beautiful feeling. I wanted this moment to last forever.
"All set!" Ryoko hummed her way over to a stereo and placed a CD inside of it. Out of the box came classical melodies; it was the soft keys of the piano.
"Are you feeling ok?" I nodded my head. "Aw, that's wonderful!" She put on her jacket and checked herself in the mirror.
"Where are you going?"
"I need to run some errands, but I'll be back! Just don't move okay? I need you asleep." Just as she was about to leave the lab, my heart cried out.
"Wait!" She turned around and approached me.
"Did you need something Yasuke?" I took a deep breath and stared into her eyes.
"Could you...stay with me longer? At least until I fall asleep." Ryoko blushed and smiled. She placed her hand on my shoulder, careful not to touch the suction pads.
Ryoko can be an strange and annoying gal, but she's my strange and annoying gal. I wouldn't really change a single thing about her if I'm being honest. I would do anything to protect her smile. I really like being with her. I really do.