Chapter Text
Chadwick James always knew he wasn't good. He wasn't a bad guy, he wasn't terrible, or cruel or an inherently bad person but he simply wasn't good.
His good deeds weren't effortless, he carefully thought them out, wondering 'Would it be so bad if I didn't recycle this?' or even, 'It wouldn't matter if I put this off.' in regards to little chores, or texting people back.
Of course, he never indulged in these terrible greedy thoughts. He couldn't, he was a Prince, sure not of the highest regard or a reputation that made people want to surround him and shower him with well-earned praise. Well...The general public was a different story.
Chad wondered when his thoughts of self-deprecation reared their ugly head, dawning devilish horns. Maybe when he was in junior high? No, before that. when he was presented to the fast fading adoring public. Being the offspring of a romance worthy of fairytales, said romance eventually becomes one itself with many, not ass good recreations.
Chad was immediately a hit. At the age of five, the media craved him, his pictures were plastered everywhere, articles, and news stations alike ent on about him in disturbing but favorable detail.
The public adored his looks the most. His curly 'golden' hair, his light blue eyes that were compared to a sunny day's sky. The usual, the cliche. He was considered perfection before his tutors even taught him what the word meant.
Of course, his mother, Queen Ella, bless her, had her objections, The woman who he took so much after, his genetics probably having fought tooth and nail to give him her traits instead of his Father's. Prince 'Charming' was widely known for his Dashing dark hair and even darker smile.
Both his parents agreed, the media was horrible. At the time Chad hadn't understood. People liked him, they thought him adorable, and sure he wasn't yet considered witty or Charming like his father, but he'd grow! to him everything was perfect.
And then his mother died.
The funeral was elegant, and though it was supposed to be a solemn day, the sky, the same shade as his light eyes seemed to shine brighter, and birds seemed to sing louder. A day of grief had turned into a media stunt as a reporter had crashed the affair, only available to friends, family, and the most eligible of royalty to capture a photo of Chad.
That article talks about his incredible and brave composure as he faced a terrible loss. The picture they had used was one of him smiling.
He wasn't happy that day. He had only made a friend, a lovely friend who had gifted him a rose to lay against his mother's statue. He cracked a smile once, and suddenly at the age of thirteen, he was deemed, Charming.
Becoming Chad Charming was easier than it should have been. His father, had fallen into a depression, and Grandfather, far too busy and distant had pawned him off to an uncaring Nannie, and tutors whose only goal was to keep him the perfect prince the world knew.
What better way to do that, than for him to strike up a friendship with the most perfect Princess of the united states of Auradon. Of course, everyone knew that while marriage was the best way to advance in their society there were rules and ranking. Prince Ben, who he had yet to befriend, heir to the throne of Central Auradon would of course get the best bride, and Audrey was the best. Chad could be a friend but he could never have a romantic relationship with the heir of two kingdoms.
But Chad was content with that. He had long ago decided romance would not be for him after the media had practically tried to make presumptuous cases of his 'type' for their teen magazines. So far, it was either the sweet and doe-eyed girl, his dear friend Jane, or the sassy and strong type, another close friend Lonnie. It was tiring.
Audrey he had come to confide in. to care for, the girl with her caring but distant parents, yet overbearing Grandmother had learned to be the picture-perfect Princess since she could walk. She understood the pressure, the need to be everything the press thought they were. She also knew...No matter how hard they tried, they weren't good.
Audrey would confess and confide as well, as they grew older that she too, had the greedy sinful thoughts that no perfect person had. She wished to be Lazy, to sleep in instead of fundraising. She too wished to be selfish.
That was when Chad had decided that he was in love with the Princess. and while Audrey could never love him back, and she understood that as well, she appreciated his devotion and in return gave her unwavering friendship.
Friendship. His tutors and newly acquired 'team' that handled all press appearances, and media outlook had decided while it was great to have a friendship with Audrey, his main focus should be connecting with Ben. To avoid any drama or slights against him.
Benjamin Florian was different. He was what Chad has aspired to be, good in all things, perfect, and Chad envied him. He envied him for the effortless happiness and perfection that Chad tried so hard to Achieve. Ben never had to try to be good, he just was.
He was so good he was impossible to hate. And Chad tried, he tried his hardest to hate Ben, to dislike the nerdy, bookworm, charismatic prince so he had a semblance of comfort. But no, because this was Ben.
That meaning, Ben went out of his way, beyond his duties to be nice to Chad. to sit with him at lunch, and invite him to his home for normal conversations, about homework and girls. It was terrible. and incredible of course, because Chad being the greedy person he was quickly realizing he had fallen in love with Ben too. Two people he could never have, for the same yet completely different reasons.
It was Easy with Audrey, they were the same, they understood each other, and they could be their darkest worst selves together. And Chad could accept that he wasn't good enough to be hers.
With Ben, his worst beliefs and fears came to life. Because Chad had always hoped that what he suspected of himself was wrong. He had the barest bit of belief that he was good, but standing next to Ben, it was confirmed. Because Chad was nothing like Ben. Not in looks, not in personality.
It was a delicious torture to be in love with someone so different, to be in love with the thing, the person you could never have yourself. To try, and try in hopes to gain but to never actually receive.
But Chad was...He accepted it. He resigned himself, like always, and put on a smile. Because as terrible as he was, there were people who still thought him perfect. and he had to please them.