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The night breeze was chillier than I had thought it was going to be. I tugged my jacket a little tighter around me, tucking my hands into my pockets to warm them up a little. It probably didn’t help that I was more concerned with looking cute for our date than about the weather.
“Are you cold?” Ushijima’s deep voice resonated beside me. I turned towards him and gave him a small grin.
“Just a little. It’s a bit colder than I originally thought, is all.”
I watched the frown form on his face, making me grin wider.
“Why are you smiling?”
I knew he was genuinely asking. Ushijima was extremely perceptive to even the smallest things, but when it came to me, I knew I confused him to no end. It was adorable, really.
“Because I’m happy.”
His frown deepened, “You are happy to be cold?”
That got me to laugh outright, “No silly. I’m happy that it is cold, not because I am cold.”
“You like the cold, then?” Understanding dawned, removing the crease between his eyebrows.
“Yep!” I chirped.
“Ah.”
We let the sound of our footsteps fill the air, a comforting staccato to the silence that surrounded us.
“Why do you like the cold?” Ushijima suddenly asked, making me jump a little.
I took a moment to collect myself, then turned my head to look at him, the small grin returning as I thought about how to answer him.
“Well, there are a few reasons, one would be I love wearing jackets. They’re super comfy and they have pockets,” I moved my hands in my pockets to underscore my point. When he nodded I continued, “Another reason would be because it’s perfect cuddling weather.”
I watched as a light blush dusted across his features, my grin widening at the sight. It had taken me a while to realize that when it came to dating, Ushijima was a little shy. He was always so confident and straightforward, but when he had asked me out a couple of weeks ago, holding a single flower for me, sporting an adorable blush, there was no way I could have said no.
We had only gone on a few dates, taking things slow. I definitely wanted to become more intimate but I didn’t want to push. I had flustered him pretty badly when I kissed him on the cheek after one of our dates and I didn’t want him to feel pressured.
I was pulled from my reverie by Ushijima’s hand tugging mine out of my pocket only to start holding it tightly in his. It was my turn to blush lightly, even though I was pleased by the turn of events.
“Is…is this ok?” He asked me hesitantly, watching me out of the corner of his eye.
“Of course!” I squeezed his hand fondly, “I love holding hands with you.” I turned toward him and gave him a bright smile.
His blush returned tenfold but he didn’t let go of my hand. We started walking a little more slowly, him letting me set the pace. The silence fell around us again until I heard Ushijima mumble something.
“What was that?”
He didn’t respond immediately, the silence stretching, except this time it was awkward. I swallowed nervously, watching him intently until he finally opened his mouth to speak.
“How…” he took a breath in, “how do you say things like that?”
“Uhhh…” I gave him a confused look. “Say things like what?”
“That you love holding hands with me,” he turned his head to look at me fully, the previous frown back on his face.
I felt an identical frown begin to grow on my own. I wasn’t sure exactly what he was asking.
He looked down at our joined hands, “How do you say things like that so openly?”
“Openly?” I followed his gaze to look at our hands, “I’m not sure I understand.”
During this line of questions, we had slowed to a complete stop. He turned towards me, facing me fully and I found myself matching his stance.
“You say things like, ‘I love holding hands with you’ or ‘It’s perfect cuddling weather’ and I don’t know how to respond.” His gaze roved over my face curiously.
“Does it bother you?” I asked him softly.
He looked away for a moment, gathering his thoughts before turning back to me, “Yes and no.”
I sucked in a breath, “Ok…why yes?”
“Yes because I never know what to say or do after you say something like that or if I’m even supposed to do or say something.”
I bit my lip, “Ok. Why no?”
“Because even though I’m uncertain what to do, I still like hearing it.”
His blunt honesty made me blush, pleased and nervous all at the same time. I looked down at my feet for a bit, letting my thoughts settle after hearing that.
I cleared my throat and looked back up at him, catching his gaze. He was still looking at me with the same gentle curiosity.
“Well, I’m not sure how to explain it but uh…here goes.” I gave him a small smile. “I, uh, say things like that because they’re true.” I felt the blush deepening, having to explain why I said things was more embarrassing than I had realized. “Um, because I enjoy watching your reactions? To them? I think that you look cute and you don’t necessarily have to do or say anything when I say things like that, but I can stop if it really bothers you!” I tacked that last bit on quickly.
When he didn’t respond, I looked away from him, my embarrassment mounting with every second that passed. I liked teasing Ushijima, but if it upset him, I didn’t want to do that to him. I truly did think that he looked cute when he was flustered, I actually found him attractive all the time, but especially so when he wasn’t certain what to do.
Being on the receiving end of his intense queries apparently flustered me or maybe we both reacted to honesty the same way. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth with the thought.
“Why are you smiling?” Ushijima’s voice was soft. I looked up to see him still watching me.
“I was thinking that perhaps we were the same.”
“How so?”
“Uh, well,” I glanced away, the blush stinging my cheeks, “because we react the same way to honesty.”
I waited for him to respond but when he didn’t I stole a look out of the corner of my eye.
He was gazing at me with such a soft look that it made me blush even harder.
I averted my eyes again, trying to look at anything other than him, praying that my blush would go away. If this is what Ushijima felt every time I teased him, maybe I really should just stop.
“I think,” he said slowly, “that I understand what you mean.”
His comment drew my eyes to his once more.
“You…do?”
He squeezed my hand tightly, “I do not want you to stop doing something that makes you happy, even if it does fluster me but now I can see the appeal.”
“Does this mean, I should expect some teasing myself?”
I watched the smile form on his face and I felt myself smiling back.
“Yes, because it seems I also enjoy seeing how cute you are when you are flustered.”
My heart skipped a beat at his words.
“I guess I’ll have to step up my game then,” I smiled, watching his expression as the realization of what I said sank in. He grinned back at me, a calculating look on his face.
“I won’t lose.”
“Neither will I.”
We were grinning at each other like idiots, until Ushijima finally started walking slowly forward again, still smiling.
I walked alongside him happily, thinking up ways to make him flustered when I felt him tug on my hand.
I turned and gave him a questioning look.
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“I’m going to kiss you now.”
I felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wasn’t going to lose. As far as flustering me went, it was a good one.
“Oh…ok.”
I let him pull me closer, one hand around my waist and the other holding my hand still. He slowly leaned down, prolonging the anticipation. I watched as his eyes slowly closed and I did the same. I stood stock-still as I felt his breath along my skin until finally, he captured my lips in a soft kiss. His lips were warm against my own. I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck, and pressing myself against him. He wound both his arms around my waist pulling me tight against him and after a moment he turned the kiss into something more. Ushijima kissed me like I was the sole focus of his entire world. It was heady, electric, and oh so sweet.
After a few long moments, he slowly pulled away, resting his forehead against mine so he was staring directly into my eyes.
I blinked slowly at him, still lost in the moment.
He gave me a sweet smile and I returned it with one of my own.
“We definitely should have done that sooner,” I said softly, wanting to fluster him if only a little, just to regain something although I really wasn’t sure what.
A light blush started across his cheeks, making me laugh softly.
He took a deep breath and looked at me thoughtfully, then I watched as a smile grew across his face, making butterflies dance in my stomach as he said, “I’m going to kiss you every chance I get from now on.”
He turned and began walking again, smiling even wider as the blush went from the tips of my ears down to my neck. I gave an awkward chuckle, knowing full well that we were going to be teasing each other mercilessly now and I couldn’t deny that I wasn’t looking forward to it.