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Gojo Satoru didn’t have any friends. He was too loud, too obnoxious, too rash, too easily excitable, too carefree, too cocky, too rich, too eccentric, too … just too much for anyone and everyone. He rarely thought before he spoke, he was clingy, and did not know the meaning of personal space. Gojo’s therapist had words and thoughts about that but like most things that did not fit his narrative, Gojo ignored them. For these reasons and more Gojo did not have any friends. Gojo didn’t really care. He could always force his company on other people. His favorite people to mess with were the “popular” kids. Senior years to his junior year: Kento Nanami, Geto Suguru and his twin brother (Older by a few minutes) Geto Kenjaku, Itadori Sukuna, Ieiri Shoko, and Iori Utahime. The last wasn’t really Gojo’s favorite but her reactions to him being annoying was amusing so he kept her on the list. The school called them The Untouchables. As their name states they are seemingly untouchable. They stayed to themselves. They didn’t bother anyone and nobody really bothered them. Of course you had some assholes who tried but the fool(s) would be put in their place swiftly. The group was surprisingly ruthless when it called for it, Kenjaku and Sukuna especially. Gojo will gladly and has gladly told them multiple times how hot they were putting people in their place. He’d get various responses on it. Sukuna would grin (somewhat evilly) and flip him off, Kenjaku would roll his eyes and go back to whatever he was doing, Suguru would smile and if Gojo was lucky pat him on the head or shoulder before walking off, Utahime would flip him off and curse at him till he skips (sadly) away, Nanami would ignore him, and Shoko like Suguru would grin indulgently before blowing a puff of smoke in his face. Not to say they were always that way. They were approachable if you were respectful. They were also some of the kindest people ever. Always willing to help out anyone and everyone that wasn’t named Gojo Saturo. It was enough to make Gojo sad but he doesn’t dwell on it. Well, he doesn’t dwell on it while the sun’s up. Gojo is getting off topic. The point of it is, he doesn’t have friends. He was (mostly) ok with not having friends, but at this moment he really wished that he had at least one person on his side. God, Gojo really hated bullies. Annoying he may be but he was never cruel or even mean. He didn’t deserve this. Well, actually he probably did. Gojo’s sure someone told him his actions would come back to bite him in the ass. He knew they would but he didn’t think that it would come so soon.
“Next up we have Gojo Satoru.”
Complete silence. Everyone before him had gotten some form of applause, cheers, and wolf whistles, which makes this even worse. Even the teachers stay silent. Although Gojo can see Principle Yaga look angry on his behalf behind the curtains. That’s better than nothing so Gojo smiles nervously at the ground, refusing to look up at the sea of kids anymore than he already had. He knows this was a mistake but it was either to be humiliated on stage in front of the whole school or have his secret be put on all forms of social media. This was the lesser of the two evils. Really. It was. Gojo blinks back the tears. As his father once said “Man up before there’s a man down.” Gojo takes a deep breath. He knew this is what would happen, he prepared for this. No reason to be down in the dumps. It is what it is.
“We’ll start the bid at….mmmm…let’s start this at fifty cents” the speaker, Toji, the bane of Gojo’s existence and the reason he’s up here on stage in the first place, laughs in the microphone. Gojo clenches his fist. Everyone else started at around fifty dollars going up to three thousand and seventy eight thousand (#RichSchoolPrivileges). Fifty cents was an insult for one of the richest kids in the school. Fuck Toji to hell and back. No one bids. Gojo takes another deep breath to keep from bursting out into tears. No need to embarrass himself further.
“I’ll give you twenty five cents!”
A random asshole in the crowd says, causing everyone to laugh like the herd they are. Gojo can’t help but think Fuck it. This is already embarrassing enough, what’s a few tears added to the mix? Gojo is already planning to drop out the next day, adopt sixteen cats and four dogs, and move to the countryside where no one can (hurt) bother him. While in the middle of contemplating the names of his future fur baby’s, Gojo can hear Toji begin the countdown.
“Twenty five cents going once, going twice…”
Gojo can feel his body tense. It’s not as if the person will actually hold onto the deal. If he had plans to stick around after the night, the chances of him being stood up is high.
“Going-”
The backdoor slams open, startling everyone in the room. The slightly out of breath person shouts “Fifty dollars!!”
Gojo is frozen along with everyone else. What idiot is willing to commit social suicide by bidding on him? Gojo looks up and lo and beholds one of the few people in the school who couldn’t be touched by Toji and his goonies, Suguru calms himself by flattening out his pristine clothes before walking down the aisle. Gojo likens it to a movie moment where the one true love yells I object before the bride can say “I do” to the man she doesn’t love or like.
“Fifty dollars” Suguru says again when he’s in front of the stage. He glances at Gojo, smiling softly when he notices Gojo staring at him with wide, wet eyes before going back to glaring at Toji. Toji glares and looks like he’s about to complain but when Suguru narrows his eyes even more he thinks better of it. Toji clears his throat and says the new amount. Gojo can’t help but to smile a little at the slight fear running through the other man.
“Fifty dollars. I’m sure no one would want to go any higher than that so fifty going once-”
Once again Toji is interrupted before he can finish counting, a bored voice speaks up from the left side of the auditorium.
“One hundred.”
Everyone whips their head to see who it was. Nanami. He doesn’t even look up from what seems to be his math book as the crowd starts to whisper. Gojo does not comprehend what’s happening. He looks between Suguru and Nanami trying to see the truth behind their actions but can’t come up with anything.
“R-right! One hundred…”
“Make it two hundred.”
This time it comes from the right. Shoko sitting on Utahime’s lap has her hand raised.
“What?”
“Two hundred, Toji. I don’t believe I stuttered when I spoke.” She replies smugly, causing Gojo to choke on a giggle, he relaxes his fist. Toji glares at Gojo causing him to go back to looking at the ground.
“OK. Two hundred. Surely that is the most…”
“Five hundred.” from the same spot but rather than Shoko it was Utahime with her hand slightly raised. When Gojo risks a peek, he notes that she looks distinctly in pain while Shoko looks amused. When both ladies make eye contact with him, Shoko winks with a wave while Utahime nods gravely. He’s not sure what it means but he’s not going to overthink it. Gojo’s gonna enjoy the fact that part of The Untouchables were bidding on him when they have never, in all the years gone to the school, bid on anyone. Maybe, just maybe Gojo wouldn’t have to drop out. Toji blanches at the new number.
“Five hundred?! Surely you jest? This freak isn’t worth it” Welp there went that good feeling. Gojo clenches his fist again.
“Well now we’re gonna have to agree to disagree. That ‘freak’ is worth more. By the way, I’m raising the bid to one thousand.” The sound of choking from the crowd makes Gojo look up again. Standing next to Suguru with his arm around his shoulders is Kenjaku, he’s grinning so wildly that his eyes are closed. It’s creepy and with a side eye to Toji, Gojo knows he’s not alone in that thought. Toji is sweating bullets, and honestly Gojo is here for it.
“One thousand….Uh this isn’t how auctions work? You’re…uhh… you’re only supposed to bid in small increments.” Toji stutters.
“Good thing we don’t give a shit, damn or fuck on how actions work.” The last of the group speaks up from…above. Everyone looks up and Sukuna is for some reason or another sitting in the rafters. He too has a wicked grin on his tattooed face. Gojo can hear a heavy sigh from Principal Yaga.
“Language Itadori. And get down from there before I write you up for detention!” Normally he’d have a detention slip already in his hands because no one is allowed up there but Gojo is willing to bet from the pleased smirk at the others…whatever this is… defense of Gojo? Yaga was only saying anything because it was expected of him.
“Yes sir!” Sukuna mockingly replies. “Before I do I’m bidding… Hey, Nanami, what’s the highest bid?”
“Three thousand and seventy eight” He says while flipping a page.
“I’ll bid a nice and even four thousand then.” He stands up and slowly makes his way to the right side of the catwalk like he didn’t just blow everyone’s mind. Gojo chokes on air in disbelief.
Nanami closes his book loudly causing everyone to look his way again. He finally looks at the stage, at Gojo, and looks him up and down.
“Five thousand.” He simply says.
“Hey!” comes Sukuna’s voice, amusement coloring his voice.
“Six thousand.” Suguru speaks while inspecting his nails, both brothers are leaning against the stage.
“Seven thousand.” Utahime.
“Make it eight!” Shoko.
“Nine.” Sukuna who is now sitting on Nanami’s lap.
“Ten thousand.” Kenjaku.
“Twelve.” Nanami.
It goes on and on. Gojo is pretty sure he suffered a stroke, died, and went to heaven…or hell he’s not sure. Everything is so confusing right now. The bids get higher and Gojo feels faint. Perhaps skipping breakfast and lunch was a mistake because Gojo can see the spots in his vision. Principle Yaga’s voice shocks Gojo from the haze he fell in.
“Wow. Ok enough! Enough I said!” Gojo looks up and sees that the Untouchables are looking smugly at Yaga and him. Looking past the group and looking at the other students he can pure shock (and anger on some) on their faces.
“We have officially broken the school record at this year's charity event. Two hundred thousand dollars has been the record for ten years but today the new record is three hundred fifty thousand dollars and fifty cents. For reasons, I think it’s time to cut off and call the winner of this year's Bid A Date Event.”
“Three hundred fifty thousand dollars…” Gojo whispers to himself. As Yaga says, the winner's name Gojo promptly passes out. He lowkey expects to feel the hard floor meet him but instead someone catches him. The last thing he hears is his name being said before the sweet, sweet darkness drags him under.