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It was quiet.
I've always hated the quiet, numbing anticipation of every sound. Each breath counts as anyone would say, panting and gasping at everything that went wrong. Tears pricking at everything that ever-so hurt me. It was tiring and perhaps it was only happening due to being burnt out. Still, that hadn't happened in many years.
Here it was, Venti's weak coy smile and playful voice that cracked and broke. Something so fragile and happy tainted by my own hands. Perhaps dating wasn't really my thing.
"If you want to take a break," Venti hiccuped, "Or break up, I don't mind!" What? I pursed my lips upon hearing such a blasphemous thing. Yet instead, I stayed quiet. Still, I found it strange how every step we took would turn into something bad. Was it just not meant to be? I deadpanned, staring at the archon who wore a blank expression and a sad smile. How could someone be that cruel?
I've always hated people, dreaded relationships, and how delicate they were. I truly loved Venti, I mourned to be held and loved. It never goes according to plan. The first month or so was perfect, meeting up, conversing, even kissing. Despite the embraces, arguments began. Tears were shed and voices were used in such a harmful manner. If someone cannot appreciate themself, I can no longer love them. Venti and I grew weaker, our regular conversations overtook by arguments.
--
Xiao let out a roar of anger, "Don't you dare insult me, nor ridicule me! I'm tired of your crap, get the fuck out." He gestured toward the door with pure anger in his eyes, tears pricking. And yet here Venti was, standing there with a shocked, heartbroken expression.
"Surely... you don't mean that?" A sob tore out of Venti's throat, rubbing his wet eyes, "Please. I love you."
Xiao hissed, venom dripping from his voice, "We've been arguing for countless days, I don't tolerate any of this." Yet something felt empty, he felt numb. As soon as Venti left, Xiao cradled himself and cried weakly like a child. How ridiculous, he'd repeat like a senseless prayer.
--
Venti was clearly upset, staring at the floor as he cried and cried. Just as he cried due to me getting upset over how Venti prodded an insecurity, but I realize now, It's all my fault. I started all of this. I didn't even tell him a thing, I never told him when I was upset, I cried and cried and it's all my fault. This relationship is falling apart at my own whim, and Venti was trying desperately to change while I should be the one to change. He would shed tears that were because I was too stubborn to realize it until it was nearing the end.
Please don't go, and I wished to say that. Swallowing my pride, I could never do. I love him, I love him to death. But if breaking up would release Venti of the overwhelming stress...
I'd do it in a heartbeat, no matter the countless nights of crying.