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The sheets feel soft underneath him. Izuku scrunches them between his fingers, pushing and pulling on the fabric.
It’s been days since he last slept, right? Days. That… probably isn’t the healthiest.
He pinches the blanket laid out beside him and rubs it between his finger and thumb. If he lies down right now, he’ll definitely pass out.
Izuku stares at the fabric in his hand.
How ridiculous.
People are out there dying. People begging for a hero. People using their last breaths to call out for someone who will never hear them because here he is! Comfortable on this luxury of a bed, fresh out of a hot and steaming shower, tending to his needs. He feels his heart ache for all the lives he’s not saving. All because he’d allowed himself to rest...
He’ll leave then.
He’ll leave, and beat whatever villain crosses his path on his search for All For One. That’s- that’s right! Shigaraki is still somewhere out there, preparing to steal One For All. Becoming stronger with every passing minute. He’s probably waking from his slumber at this very moment, reaching towards the earth with a devastating hand. Somewhere in Japan, the world shatters- No no no no no no.
Izuku whirls his head towards the sliding doors of his balcony. The movement leaves him dizzy. But it’s fine. He just needs to leave. Now. If he hurries now, he’ll still beat Shigaraki! He’ll save every-
A hand, firmly grasping his chin, whips his head forward.
Izuku squeezes his eyes shut. “Ow…”
“Shuddup. If you think about escaping again, I swear, I will knock you out.” Katsuki lightens his grasp. “Now sit still.”
Oh.
Right…
Kacchan is... brushing his hair.
Izuku stares at the blond standing in front of him. “You, uh, you know, Kacchan… I can brush my own hair.”
Katsuki scoffs and crosses his arms in front of his chest. “You serious, Deku?? Give it a rest, already! You can barely move your shitty body.” He lets out a forced chuckle. “How d’you even think you could make it out of this room without fuckin’ collapsing??”
Izuku sighs and looks down and away from Katsuki. His entire body trembles with every breath he takes. Have his muscles ever felt so numb and his bones so frail? So much fatigue is… frightening. He hates it. Hates to admit just how– Another trembling breath, and he glances up to Katsuki again– ...just how delicate he feels.
“Plus, Deku,” Katsuki starts, dragging his fingers across Izuku’s forehead and moving his bangs away from his eyes, “You said you’d stay with us.”
Izuku’s hair falls back on his face when Katsuki reaches towards the headboard for some hair product. Izuku closes his eyes. His eyelids fall heavy. There’s no point in thinking about leaving now. Kacchan is right. He can barely move… It’s kind of pathetic that just showering left him incapacitated, but at least, there’s no longer mud in his hair. Instead, Katsuki’s fingers run through his curls and massage his scalp. Fingers tickle the back of his neck, and Izuku lets his head tilt forward… He could definitely… He could definitely fall... asleep… like this... Izuku forces his eyes open... How embarrassing would it be to fall asleep while Kacchan’s helping him with his hair? No, he can’t fall asleep just yet.
“They’re still out there, Kacchan. Shigaraki and All For One. We’re- we’re losing time. We’ve got to find them, and no one else has my speed. You… you understand, right? This is killing me, Kacchan, you know? Not being able to do anything…”
Katsuki’s hands grasp at Izuku’s bangs once more, and he pulls on them, pushing Izuku’s head back. Izuku barely manages to focus on the boy in front of him. Red eyes greet his green.
“You’re really something else, Deku. On that, you are spot on.” Katsuki observes him before closing his eyes and shaking his head. “For fuck’s sake.” He leans down and slides his arm between Izuku’s waist and arm, hooking his fingers on the other side of Izuku’s ribcage. Izuku’s already pressed against Katsuki when he registers that he’s been lifted from his bed. Kacchan is undoing the bed’s sheets.
“Oh no, Kacchan… I can… I can, uh, do it. Kaccha-” His back presses on the mattress, and instantly, the warmth and comfort of recently washed sheets engulf Izuku. He shuts his eyes. Why hadn’t he done this sooner? He feels his mind slipping. Maybe… maybe he could let go… at least for a moment… it really couldn’t hurt…
Katsuki is still pressed against him, arm underneath his body, pushing his legs onto the bed when,
“Kacchan, sleep with me.”
•••
“Excuse me… What?”
Izuku doesn’t respond for a while, and Katsuki’s sure he’s fallen asleep-
“Kacchan… like when we were, uh… kids…”
Katsuki groans. “Deku, you’re half asleep. Don’t even know what you’re saying, you idiot.” Katsuki removes his arm from underneath Izuku. He starts standing upright when he realizes that Izuku’s looking at him, eyes wide open. A blush paints his freckles pink.
“Kacchan, I’m so sorry! That was really inappropriate. I’m-I’m really tired s-so…”
“Yeah, no, I get it. It’s totally fine.” His face is mere inches from Izuku’s still. He tilts his head down, looking away from Izuku and shakes his head. Might as well be close to the nerd while they’re not saving the world from certain doom. Katsuki tilts his head back up, surely, with an awkward expression on his face. “I’m really tired, too…” He straightens up and puffs his cheeks. Is he really doing this? “Hey, my room is… pretty far from here.” It’s not, but- “I could stay here… with you. So that, you know, I can be here to protect your fuckin’ exhausted and immobilized self and so that I don’t have to walk all the way to my room. It’s convenient. For both of us.”
Katsuki stares at Izuku. Izuku stares at Katsuki.
And this time, Katsuki is sure that Izuku’s fallen asleep with his eyes open.
Green lashes flutter as Izuku finally blinks. “Yeah, of course.”
“Yeah...” Katsuki shuffles onto Izuku’s bed, releasing the breath he’d been holding. “Of course.”
A moonlit ceiling welcomes Katsuki as he settles beside Izuku. Feels like deja vu. Honestly, he can barely remember the nights he spent at Deku’s house, but he knows this night is not the first he’s spent pressed against the nerd. The bed stirs beside him, and he struggles to recall the last time they shared a bed. He wonders if that last time could have been easier to remember if he hadn’t…-
A breath tickles his shoulder. “Kacchan, we should talk.”
Katsuki is quick to suppress the shudder that threatens to travel down his spine, “You’re still awake, Deku?”
“Mhm. We... need to talk…. I can’t go to sleep yet, I’ve realized.”
Of fuckin’ course… Katsuki rolls to his side, and while he was expecting to come face to face with those pools of green he’d started referring to as “pretty,” his sight is only of long eyelashes laying atop rosy cheeks.
Katsuki physically feels his gaze soften before responding. Really… What has this goddamn dweeb done to capture his heart?... “Deku, you’re so tired. We’ll talk later.”
“I wanna… talk… now... You’ll just leave once I fall asleep.”
Katsuki rolls his eyes. “... Yeah, you’re right. I was thinking about doing that.”
And though it's small, a frown appears on Deku’s face.
It’s cute.
“Just stay here, Kacchan…”
Katsuki wraps his arm around Izuku before bringing it back to himself, a blanket in his hand that envelops them in warmth. “...Okay. I will”
And though it is tired and wobbly and almost painfully quick, a smile appears on Deku’s lips. “...Okay. Good...Goodnight, Kacchan.”
How Katsuki ever survived not having Izuku within walking distance, he’ll never know. But he knows he’d be a fool to ever let it happen again.
“Goodnight, Deku.”
•••
The first time Izuku drifts from slumber, it’s still dark enough that the moon’s light peeks through his curtains. Has the sky cleared up finally..? The thought vanishes from his mind as he slowly slips back into unconsciousness.
He closes his eyes to voices…
Voices?
...let…see him.
...no...asleep.
...his mom…
…morning.
...you...slept?
Though Izuku tries to focus on the conversation, weariness clouds his mind. All he can do is succumb to his exhaustion, voices fading away, bed sloping down next to him, breath tickling the back of his neck.
The second time Izuku awakens, he opens his eyes to a gray room. It’s daytime, but the bad weather persists. He groans. There was a time when Izuku loved the rain, but now, the dullness of it all is starting to become grating.
He pulls his blanket tighter to him, looking up at the All Might poster on his wall. He’d been meaning to change it. Izuku remembers finding a poster with Kacchan on it some weeks ago…
He rolls around. Would it be weird to have a poster of his friend on his wall-
Izuku nearly screams.
Sitting off the side of his bed, turned to face him, Katsuki stares intently at him.
“Kac-Kacchan?? What are you- what are you- uh, what are you doing here… on… my bed that I invited you to sleep in…” Izuku blinks slowly. “Oh.”
Katsuki bites his lip and shakes his head. “If you weren’t in such a bad shape, I’d make fun of you so bad, but uh, anyways…” His eyes shift as he looks Izuku over. “What’s up? How are you feeling?”
Izuku sighs then chuckles. “Like I could take on the whole world- Ow!”
Katsuki flicks Izuku’s forehead again. “Stop that shit.”
“I was joking,” Izuku grumbles as Katsuki brings a hand to his forehead. “ I don’t think I have a fever or anything, Kacchan, but my whole body hurts. It feels really heavy? And I don’t think I can move a muscle.” He snickers and raises his eyebrows at Katsuki. “Pretty pathetic, am I right?”
He thinks Katsuki will agree. Instead, a brief, pained expression passes over Katsuki’s face, followed by a roll of his eyes. Just… what… is that supposed to mean?
“One too many words, Izuku.” Katsuki’s tone is mellow as he stands up. He walks towards Izuku’s desk and takes a seat on the chair, spinning to face Izuku again. “Your friends– your mom – wanted to see you earlier…” His eyes shift nervously to the poster beside Izuku. “And I said they should let you rest.”
Izuku decides to ponder his friend's strange behavior later. He nods and reassures Katsuki with a smile, “Thank you for that. I’d hate for her to see me like this.” He raises his eyebrows and chuckles, remembering her hysterics all the other times he’d gotten injured. “She’d freak out, stop me from being a hero for good.”
Katsuki raises his eyebrows, pursing his lips. “I don’t blame her.”
Oh… Izuku’s eyelids droop. The last thing he needs to hear is how impulsive he’s been. He knows .
“Uh,” Katsuki continues. “Would you like to see her now?”
Izuku takes a breath and sighs heavily. “Oh, I would love that more than anything… but I’d like to be able to hug her when I see her.”
Katsuki hums. “Alright…”
“What time is it?” Izuku yawns, further pressing himself against the mattress. His body begs him for at least a couple more hours of rest.
“It’s uh-”
A knock interrupts their conversation.
Katsuki walks towards the door. “I’ll get it.”
Izuku can’t make out who’s there, but he thinks he hears Ojiro’s voice. And just as soon as he was gone, Katsuki is back. This time, with a bowl of something in one hand, a drink in the other. He stops before Izuku’s bed and frowns.
Huh. There’s no way he’s going to…
Katsuki stares at him intently. “Look, do you think you’re able to sit upright? If you can’t, I’ll-”
“Kacchan.” Izuku clicks his tongue at Katsuki. “I know that food isn’t for me. You didn’t know I’d be awake already.” He smiles at Katsuki, who has the most offended look he’s probably ever mustered. “Thank you, but,” Izuku yawns once more. “I think I want to sleep some more now.”
“You need to eat, stupid.” Katsuki’s eyebrows are furrowed deep, but the pout he wears on his lips makes him look so… non-threatening. Izuku giggles internally at the thought. Should Kacchan ever hear that about himself,– who knows– the universe might implode or something.
Izuku nods as he closes his eyes, “I will…” He hears his chair being pulled from under his desk again. Another giggle echoes solely in the chambers of his mind. When did Kacchan become such a good listener?
Katsuki taps on the desk, obviously not unbothered by Izuku’s refusal to eat. “It’s eight in the morning by the way.”
That gruff voice is soft again. Izuku’s mind lingers on the oxymoronic sound because... It’s really nice having the person he… It’s really nice having his childhood friend’s voice lull him to sleep.
“Perfect, Kacchan. I’ll eat lunch… And you’ll stay here to… wake me up… to eat, right…?”
“...Yeah. Yes, Deku. I’ll be here.”
Good…
•••
Across the room, Izuku’s eyes flutter shut as he slurps his soup. “Oh my goodness, Kacchan! I’ve never tasted anything better!”
Katsuki’s hand goes still as he goes to eat from his own meal. “When was the last time you ate anything? Goddamn…”
Izuku has another mouthful before continuing. “It hasn’t been too long. But even hungry, I know this is delicious!... Why’d you learn to cook?”
“No particular reason. It’s just something I was naturally good at, so I do it because I can.” Katsuki brings his bowl to his mouth as he finishes his food. Placing the plate on Izuku’s desk, he stands to make his way towards the nerd’s bed.
“What’re you doing, Kacchan?” Izuku mumbles. He nearly chokes on his food when he realizes. “K-kacchan, it’s okay! I can adjust my own sheets!”
Katsuki rolls his eyes. He’d hoped Deku would stay quiet about the gesture. “It’s so you– move your hand– it’s so you don’t have to stop eating.” He leans over Izuku’s body, grabbing the blanket, tucking him in. His fingers slightly graze the sides of the boy under him.
“Kacchan, you should lie down with me.”
Katsuki turns his head up towards the timid voice. Deku and he are not quite as close as they had been last night. Last night, Katsuki could’ve been able to lean in no more than a few inches, and he’d have closed the gap between him and Izuku.
He’s still close enough to count the freckles on Izuku’s cheeks, though. Close enough to notice the slight blue in Izuku’s dazzling green eyes. They’re pleading.
Katsuki exhales through his nose, lowering his voice as he speaks. “You wanna make last night a regular occurrence? Why should I, huh…?”
Green curls bounce as Izuku shrugs.
Running his hands through that hair had been a blessing. Katsuki grips the sheet in his hand, not wanting to unknowingly reach over and comb through it like he had the night before.
Izuku clears his throat. “Having someone near me is, uh… very comforting. You, in particular, um, I don’t know if you know this, but you kind of radiate warmth, and I think my muscles would thank you if you sat next to me.” Izuku stares intently at his bowl of food as he says this.
Katsuki smiles warmly. The nerd has no issue spouting compliments and making others flustered. But when it comes to him wanting something, he can’t not be embarrassed. “I see, so you wanna cuddle with me then.”
Cuddling. He hadn’t meant to put it that way. Actually, just lying down in bed with Izuku wasn’t typically something the two of them would ever think of doing. They both have their guards down, Katsuki guesses. Something in Izuku’s exhaustion and Katsuki’s reflection on his treatment of Izuku had torn down a wall between them, and like two rivers without a dam, they were now flooding into one another. At one point, the thought would have terrified Katsuki. But now, he thinks he wouldn’t mind inviting Izuku to spend all his time in his heart.
Katsuki continues. “But you’re still eating, Deku.”
Chapped, pink lips curve upwards before closing down on a spoon again. Izuku takes one last spoonful of his meal. “All done.”
Katsuki’s mind stutters at the gesture. His chest feels heavy and full, and what the hell… The desire to press himself against Deku and close the distance is almost overwhelming.
He turns his head down to look at the empty plate as he grabs it, taking the opportunity to lean in just a bit closer to Izuku. So that when he tilts his head back up, his nose brushes against Izuku’s.
Brushing noses together, breathing on each other’s lips. The typical occurrences between a couple of friends.
He might be pushing his luck, but he can always play it off.
“Ka-Kacchan, you’re- you’re really close!” Izuku’s slurred words meld into a hushed chuckle. And that chuckle crashes into Katsuki’s lips like the phantom of a kiss waiting to happen.
“Am I?” What??” He feigns ignorance as his own laugh washes over Izuku’s lips before pulling up and tearing away to take Izuku’s plate.
The minute he brought Deku to his room, Katsuki had decided that now isn’t the time for kisses or confessions of love, if that’s what he’s feeling.
Yes, there is something tugging at his mind, whispering that what he wants to do more than anything is to crash his mouth against Deku’s and turn that phantom into something real, tangible, and fulfilling. However, not even a month has passed since the epiphany that his feelings for Izuku were more than just that of a passionate rival-- which even that title sounds really fucking gay, now that he thinks about it. Katsuki places Izuku’s plate on the desk, staring at it for a second more. He needs time to mull over it, and not while a world-ending threat lingers in the back of everyone’s mind.
He makes his way back to Izuku’s bed. Confessions of love left unsaid. And lips left unkissed.
•••
Izuku holds his breath as Katsuki presses himself against his body. What had he been thinking?! Last night, he had been unaffected by his friend’s closeness. But he had also been half-dead. This , right now, feels new and all-consuming and-
“Why’re you so tense, stupid Deku? This is supposed to be relaxing. You said it yourself, so chill the fuck out.” Katsuki presses his chest against Izuku’s arm.
And Izuku tries to not think about the curvature of those pecs and- Stop! Izuku mentally slaps himself. Never has he had this issue. Of being flustered by Kacchan! He breathes out deeply. He always knew his feelings for the hot-headed boy beside him were much too intense… and too loving… to be considered platonic. But he’d made sure to never let those feelings rise in him too much, afraid that they’d overtake him and ruin the friendship he and Kacchan had started to cultivate. So despite his emotions, he’s always been friendly with Kacchan.
He’s always been friendly with Kacchan… So why now is he letting his feelings affect him in such an embarrassing manner… He sighs and shifts his body so he’s facing Katsuki. “You’re right, Kacchan. I’m sorry.” The only answer Izuku can conjure is that his guard is probably down after not catching any sleep until just some hours earlier. And because Katsuki had…
“No need for that. Just relax, and let my heat- …Do I really radiate heat? That’s so fuckin’ weird.”
Izuku’s shoulders relax. He feels his heart dampen and slow as he finally allows himself to be enveloped by the warmth of Katsuki’s body. “Yes, actually. It’s probably related to your quirk. Your hands heat up, right? The rest of your body does too.”
Katsuki frowns, raising his hand to inspect it. “But I can control when I heat up my palms. It sounds like my body constantly emits heat.”
“Yeah, you’re right. It doesn’t make sense.” Izuku’s lips quirk up as he tries to maintain a straight face. “It’s probably because you're hot-tempered- Oh my, Kacchan, please don’t blow up my face.” Izuku giggles into Katsuki’s palm, pressed firmly against his face.
“If you keep saying shit, I won’t hesitate.” Katsuki tightens the grip of his fingers and shakes Izuku’s head playfully. Then they graze upwards, running through Izuku’s hair. And they stay there, rubbing circles against his scalp.
Izuku hums, shutting his eyes, forgetting to question his friend’s casual caress. “Warm…”
“Yeah?” Katsuki whispers, letting his arm rest on Izuku's shoulder. “So you talked with your mom and your friends while I made your lunch. How was that?”
“Oh.” He opens his eyes, not as shaken by Katsuki’s proximity as before. “Talking with Iida and Uraraka was nice. I thanked them both for, uh, grounding me. They’re both… really great heroes.” Izuku feels the hand on his head rise in temperature. He thinks it neat before remembering that the boy next to him holds an explosion quirk. “Kacchan! Wh- Don’t blow my head off!”
Beside him, Katsuki erupts in laughter. “Oh my god, Deku, shut up!” He removes his hand. “Look, I’m not sweating that much, right?” Katsuki wiggles his fingers before resting them on Izuku’s bicep. “Thought you were obsessed with quirks. You should know a little heat isn’t gonna set off my explosions.”
Izuku closes his eyes as the heat from Katsuki’s hand travels down his arm, dulling his aches in an instant. “I guess I’m sorta out of it still. Not like me to forget- wow, thatfeelsamazing.” He stares at Katsuki with wide eyes as a hot hand grips his shoulder. It’s not painless. The grip of Katsuki’s fingers is firm, and the heat is more than warm, but the pain is a lot less irritating than the soreness he’s been feeling. “Kacchan, I think you should quit being a hero. Obviously, being a masseuse is your true calling.”
“Oh yeah?” Katsuki sits up, robbing Izuku of his bodily warmth, but all is forgiven when he uses his other hand on Izuku’s other shoulder. He rubs circles deep into Izuku’s trap muscles. “So you were saying… about Uraraka and Iida?”
“Yes… I thanked Uraraka for her speech. I honestly can't believe she did that for me. She’s really… really kind.” Izuku smiles.
Katsuki grabs his triceps next, pushing Izuku’s arms back and massaging them that way. “I can. Believe it, I mean. Round-Face cares a whole lot about you.”
“Don’t call her that, oh my god. But yes… she’s a good friend… I think she’d do it for anyone, though.” Izuku cranes his neck to the side. “Can you get behind my shoulders?”
“‘Course. I’ll get to anything you want. You look twenty years younger already.” Katsuki’s lips pull into a sexy smirk.
“Twenty?!” Izuku relishes the view as he guffaws.
“Yeah, twenty, shitty Deku. You look one-hundred!”
“A hundred?!” Giggles escape his chest, and his eyes squint lovingly at Katsuki. And Izuku probably imagines it, but Katsuki wears a face that mirrors the one Izuku imagines himself having.
After a few more seconds of chuckling, Katsuki moves on to his forearms, applying particular but welcomed pressure on his wrists. “What did they say about you running off?”
Shoot. Izuku hoped that wouldn’t be brought up so soon. He swallows. “Well… they weren’t too happy about me being in this state. My mom the least…”
“You don’t say?” Katsuki mutters, rolling his eyes.
“She, uh, she cried the whole time, telling me she can hardly take it when I ‘do these things’ but that she’s trying to harden her mind and her heart into accepting that this is my future profession.”
Katsuki exhales through his nose, and it, along with his lips, pulls up into a slight sneer. “It won’t be your future profession if you die, asshole.”
“This again, Kacchan?!” Izuku wrenches his hand away from Katsuki’s and turns over, pressing his palms against the bed to push himself up. He ignores the trembling of his arms, the shaking of his body, and the blurriness of his sight. “I– What am I supposed to do as a hero but be a hero ! I chose this path for a reason! And heroes have responsibilities that–”
“‘Heroes have responsibilities.’ Sure, but heroes aren’t reckless. Lie the fuck down–”
“I wasn’t reckless! I had a reliable team of heroes behind me!”
“Hah! And yet you managed to end up looking like shit, feeling like shit–”
“Kacchan, do you know how strong I–”
“OH yeah, so strong. Real fucking strong. Look at you!” Katsuki hisses. “You look like you're one breeze away from collapsing!” He shoves at Izuku’s elbow, and Izuku lands with his face on a pillow.
The throbbing in his head swells. He rolls on his back. Too quickly, the blurriness returning. Though, it’s not entirely from pain now. His hands reach next to each side of his torso to push off the bed once more, but they’re caught by near-scorching fingers. “Let go of me!”
“No, listen to me!” Katsuki clasps his hands together, pushing them firmly on his chest.
“No! YOU listen to me!” Izuku gasps. The first of many tears trickling from his eyes. “If not me, then who, Kacchan? I’m a hero! I save people! That’s what I do, and I will do so until my last breath, and you can’t tell me that I’m wrong, and I don’t know if you understand, but that is who I am! That is my obligation!” He spits out his words. “Because if I have the power to defeat the villains and the heart to help the helpless, I will do so, and I don’t care what happens to me!”
“BUT I DO!” Katsuki’s head lurches forward as he screams, like the words are torn from him. His own eyes are glossy, leaking tears, and his head falls to their joined hands. “I do… A lot of people care, Deku. So… shut. up. And stop being so fucking selfish, you fuckin’ prick.”
Izuku’s chest shudders as his sobs finally spill from his mouth. He’s always known about his nature. About how he always puts the well-being of others above his own. He knows. And he’s always been fine with it! But he doesn’t… he isn’t fine with hurting the people he loves. His heart shatters to pieces every time his mother confronts him with wails and glossy eyes. His heart and mind ache more than his body having Kacchan cry about him like this. It’s torture.
Why… is everything so complicated ? Why must what is selfless for him be selfish for others? Why? Why, why, why, why, why?
“I-I just want to- want to do what’s right, Kacchan… I’m not- I’m not reckless, Ka-Kacchan. I try not to… I try not to be, I swear…” The last of his words emerge as a wail that he bites his lips to mute.
The blond hair tickling Izuku’s chin retires, and Katsuki stares down with tear-dyed eyes. He removes his grip from Izuku’s wrists, bringing his hands forward to land on Izuku’s cheeks.
Izuku feels thumbs hover near the corners of his eyes. Brushing away the wetness from his skin. Delicately. Like one would caress the petals of a lovely rose.
He blinks the last of his tears, his breaths leaving his body in deep but quiet, trembling sighs. Thumbs receive those tears too. Careful to not break the lovely rose.
“You’re a wonderful hero, Deku.” Katsuki leans forward, pressing his cheek against Izuku’s. “I know it has to be you.” Arms wrap around Izuku’s waist as Katsuki rests his chest on Izuku’s. They’re desperate. “I’m just angry it has to be you.”
•••
Izuku wraps his arms around Katsuki’s neck, and Katsuki tightens his grasp on the shirt that’s in his hands, wanting to swallow Izuku into his embrace. If it is true that he radiated warmth, then every fiber of Izuku’s presence permeated the air around him with comfort. One which abandoned Katsuki the moment the nerd was out of arm’s reach.
“I will be okay, Kacchan…” Izuku's nose grazed his neck. “Especially if I have others by my side… if you’re with me, I will be okay.”
“I’ll be there, Deku…”
Katsuki closes his eyes to images of Deku fallen at Kamino, tattered suit clinging on with mud and days-old rain. For several nights, Izuku had forced himself over the edge, denying his basic needs and descending further and further into self-destruction. When Katsuki first heard of the damn nerd’s withdrawal from the hospital and school, he’d had to sit down, feeling as if something grave had slipped through his fingers… A selfless Deku with no restraints was a nightmare come true.
Not a second passed by between waking up at the hospital and finally locating Deku that Katsuki had not longed for the moment Deku was by his side. Safe and sound.
“Promise me one thing, Kacchan?”
“What is it?”
“If I don’t die because I decide to rely on you, at the very least, don’t get impaled on my behalf.”
Katsuki stills his head as it had snuck past his consciousness and had been snuggling against Izuku for the past minute. He falls from Izuku’s chest onto the bed, arms not retreating, however. “That’s–”
“No, Kacchan.” Izuku sniffles. “I’m allowed to be upset with you too. You're a huge hypocrite.”
Red eyes return Izuku’s intent stare, before blinking, softening. A heaviness balloons in Katsuki’s heart. A profound and absolute fondness for the boy in arm’s reach.
Oh. So that’s what he’s feeling…
Thoughts of the upcoming battle flash in his mind. They still have to fight one last time before returning to some semblance of normalcy. Before returning to a world more stable and ready than the one he and Deku reside in right now. They still have the world to save.
Katsuki decides he doesn’t really care.
“You’re right, Deku. You can be upset with me. You should be. But I think I finally understand you as a hero, Deku… Because I would do it over and over and over again.” He pulls Izuku tighter with each repeated phrase. “And I would die a million deaths… before I saw you be killed in front of my eyes.” His passionate breaths combine with Izuku’s own. So close, once more.
“You’re amazing.” Izuku ushers. His emerald irises appear semi-circles behind half-lidded eyelids.
Katsuki doesn’t resist the shiver that travels down his spine.
Plush lips continue to brush against Katsuki’s as they speak. “You’re perfect… Back at Kamino… I never expected you to–”
“I know.”
“You didn’t have to–”
“I wanted to.” Katsuki raises an arm to stroke Izuku’s temple with the back of his fingers. “You deserved it. That’s why I needed to say it to you.”
“It’s just what I needed to hear…”
“I know.”
Izuku’s chest vibrates in joy. “Is that why you said it?”
“ Please . Fuck no. You fuckin’ ruined my plans. Ideally, I’d have gotten on my knees with a bouquet of lilies.”
And there’s that sweet, honey-like laugh again. Katsuki wouldn’t be surprised if stars were born from the preciousness of Izuku’s voice.
“Kacchan, I never knew you felt that way. I would have said something sooner if I’d known.” Izuku presses a scarred finger against Katsuki’s lips when he opens them to protest. “Listen, please… Up until we entered U.A., I’d just accepted that you hated me and that you bullied me for it. I still admired you, but I never thought to myself that our friendship would be repaired. I never questioned the sentiments we had towards one another… Once we fought at Ground Beta the second time, I finally saw your feelings for what they were. And I wanted to help you and hear you and talk with you– oh my god, talk with you, did I want to talk with you.” Izuku stretches his arms to cup Katsuki’s cheeks. “After that, I knew that what you and I had in the past had its effects on you still, but Kacchan, listen, I would have more than willingly put you at ease by telling you that I don’t hold it against you. I don’t think I ever did.”
Soft hair meets soft hands. Katsuki drags his hand across Izuku’s forehead, pushing his bangs back. Though dark circles remain pronounced underneath those long, forest-green eyelashes, Izuku’s eyes glimmer, mindful and awake.
Katsuki speaks softly.
“It was never about you forgiving me. I wanted to right my wrongs. After learning about One For All, I knew what I had to do. So I helped you with your quirk, wanted to make sure you mastered your power. It was the most I could do after belittling you for years for not having one.”
Izuku’s eyes shift and morph with each word. “Did you only help me to atone?” The words ring doubtful, but Katsuki hears that fearful note.
He rests his hands atop Izuku’s, feeling his cheeks rise as he smiles. “Deku, I spent my time with you for many reasons. I needed you to be strong, so I could compete with you at your best. I needed to help you because I did the opposite when we were kids. But most of all,” Katsuki sighs and… even softer still… “I spent my time with you because I wanted to. Because I cherish every moment I spend beside you. Every ounce of earnestness and dedication that displays in your eyes. Every smile, every laugh, and every mutter that forms on your lips…
Because I want to be a witness to it all… That’s why I spent my time with you.”
Katsuki puts his forehead to Izuku’s, shutting his eyes, awaiting a response to his not so unspoken declaration. A gasp and shudder break the silence in place of sentences, and Katsuki quickly pulls away to inspect Izuku.
Pink lips and pink freckles stretch to form a wide grin, glistening from a cascade of tears. Izuku quickly wraps his arms around Katsuki’s neck and buries his face into its nook. He speaks clearly despite his trembling. “For years, I- I had come to terms with our ill relationship. But I… I… Kacchan I!...” Izuku leans his head back, and Katsuki’s heart comes to a halt. Sunshine peeks through the curtains, illuminating Izuku’s beautiful features in beams of golden light. “I’ve always longed for this moment. Kacchan, I have spent my whole life chasing after you!... And here you are! ”
•••
Izuku’s eyes shut close as arms tug him forward. Soft lips meld with his. They pull back for less than a second then rush to steal his breath again. He all but melts, sighing as he presses deeper into the kiss.
Katsuki doesn’t crash his mouth against Izuku’s. The kiss being not one of desperation, but one of relief. Though, hands do roam Izuku’s back as if scared to let go. He’s ashamed of messing up so bad, of causing such distress to the people he loves.
But it’s a lesson learned. And all Izuku wants to think about is the hint of vanilla chapstick he tastes on Kacchan’s lips.
Izuku stretches his arms above his head one more time. A satisfied groan leaves him. Though his muscles still ache, he doesn’t feel made out of porcelain every time he moves. He puts his hands to his hips, excited to exit his bedroom for the first time in almost twenty-four hours.
A clicking at his doorknob grabs his attention, and Izuku brightens as Katsuki enters. “Kacchan! What’s for dinner?”
Katsuki leans his hip against Izuku's chair and wears a smug smile. “Well, someone- I don’t know who, really- suggested… katsudon , and well…” He shrugs, pleased with himself.
Izuku beams at him. Had he known confessing his feelings would lead to him eating more of his favorite food, he’d have never hesitated. “Thank you, Kacchan.”
“Don’t thank me, Deku. Thank that handsome stranger.”
“Oh, he’s handsome?” Izuku walks toward his closet to find some clothes to change into. Speaking of handsome… “Ummm, that thing you said earlier? ‘One too many words?’ What was it you meant by that?”
“When did I say that?”
Izuku spins, clothes in hand, and walks to lean his back against the door to the hallway. “I think I said that I was pretty pathetic, and that was your response.”
“Oh…” Katsuki shrugs. “Well, yeah. Just because you’re hurt and resting doesn’t mean you're pathetic. Doesn’t mean you’re useless. Doesn’t mean you aren’t trying. Doesn’t mean you’re a bad hero. It just makes you realize that you’re a little more human than what you’re used to, which fucking finally, must be hard craning your neck to look down on all us little guys.”
“Kacchan, you’re hardly little.”
Katsuki scoffs in response. “Deku, I know I’m the shit. What I mean is having all that power thrust upon you, from the moment you met All Might- don’t give me that fucking face- going from a quirkless kid to being the ‘chosen one’ is going to make you forget that without those responsibilities you’re just someone trying to live his life. Just like me. Just like literally everyone else. So yeah, you’re not fucking pathetic.”
Izuku huffs, but he lingers on Kacchan’s words a second longer. He hugs his clothes to him, grateful to have someone to tell him these things. His sight travels to Katsuki, who’s stepping closer and closer.
“...but I am pretty?”
“ Deku. ” Katsuki rolls his eyes.
“Well, if pathetic is one word too many...”
“Holy shit.” Vanilla-flavored lips spread into a wide grin. “From an objective view, you have an alright face. Sure, dumbass.”
Izuku giggles as Katsuki presses their foreheads together. “I didn’t say ‘alright pathetic,’ did I?”
“You’re fucking hilarious.”
“Say you think I’m pretty,” he whispers. “Is it my eyes?”
Katsuki lifts his chin with a finger. A touch as soft as satin. Satin not nearly as soft as Katsuki’s words. “It’s everything, Izuku.”
And as green eyes flutter close one more time to receive the feeling of lips on lips, all else lost in darkness, Izuku finds that, though he may be brittle and delicate, he’ll never shatter in the careful hands of his love.