Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s warm.

A gentle hand moves slowly through golden locks, strands of hair being swept away from the porcelain doll's face. Curious fingertips trace the curve of his cheek, the edge of his jaw, the structure of his nose. He has yet to open his eyes, and you were not sure what to expect.

I’m warm.

It had been a few days since you had found him under the snow, harsh winds whipping fiercely around the still lump that was buried beneath nature's cold blanket . At first, you had thought that perhaps some poor creature had succumbed to the unforgiving environment and that this would be its final resting place. But what you hadn’t expected was for this pile of snow to start moving. And you certainly hadn’t expected such a beautiful face to be unearthed from the ice that you had pushed away from his unmoving body.
He looked vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on why. Whoever he was, you weren’t going to let him freeze to death out here. And so, you had brought him home with you that day - changed his bloodied clothes, bandaged his wounds and let him sleep in your bed. You even undid the messy braid that was holding his hair back.

The snow… It feels different.

His hands had been twitching today, a sign for you that the wait for him to wake up from his slumber was nearly over. You were eager to know - who was he? What happened? Why was he even in Dragonspine in the first place? But all that could wait until he was recovered, whoever he was. He had no possessions on him, and his clothes were ruined, littered with tears and stained with red. It was almost impossible to have gotten an idea of who he was, or what he was even wearing. A sigh left your lips as you wracked your ever-questioning mind, trying to figure out if there were at least a few clues to give you an idea of his identity. But still, you ended up with the same result you had been getting ever since he arrived: nothing.

I’m not in Dragonspine.

You grasped one of his moving hands gently, eyebrows furrowed in concern as you watched his face contort in discomfort. That’s right, he would’ve been in some intense pain when he returned to the land of the living. You had tried your best to alleviate his agony, but there was only so much you could do without getting him to take some painkillers. You were no medic, you were simply a person that had a fascination with the unknown. Perhaps that’s why the mysterious mountain has enticed you to explore its icy exterior that day.

Where am I?

The first thing you noticed about his eyes was how cold they were. Cool, icy blue, a reflection of the wintry mountain he had been bound to. The second, was how even in the light of your bedroom, there was no shine behind those eyes. Even with such a vibrant colour, they were almost dull. Leaning your face back to give him some room, your hand gently squeezed his own. You opened your mouth to speak but the words died in your throat as the stranger sat up slowly. His head slowly turned to you, his hair obscuring your view of his face, hiding those cold eyes. Hesitantly you reached out, brushing those locks back like you had done only hours ago. Your hands nearly recoiled when you see him looking straight back at you.

He was beautiful… You knew he was handsome before, but with his eyes open it was another thing entirely. His pretty lips parted, to speak you assume, but all that came out was a strangled groan of pain. His flawless features scrunched up and his whole body curled in on itself. In an attempt to help, you eased him to lay back down, hushing his pained noises.

“You’ll be okay… I’ve got you.”

That was all it took for his heavy eyes to slip shut once again.

Weeks had passed since his first awakening. The stranger said little, only muttering under his breath how his plan hadn’t worked - that he hadn’t become ‘Albedo’. You weren’t entirely sure what that meant, or what ‘Albedo’ was. You had asked if it was his name. “No.” He scoffed, head turning away from your gaze. “And now it never will be.” You made a note to never mention that word around him.

He was intriguing yet confusing, but you were always fond of solving puzzles, so you weren’t put off by his obscure words. He didn’t have a name from what you could tell, so you had asked what to call him instead. He didn’t have an answer. It had almost become a little game in the past few weeks of knowing him to see what stuck. You had tried many names such as ‘Snow’, ‘Blondie’, ‘Blue’, but none of them really suited him. ‘Prince’ was a strong contender, but he was against that idea, explaining he didn’t feel worthy of being referred to as royalty. For now, the favourite was ‘Ruby’, after the red gems that you had found near him. Later you would find out they were actually called Crimson Agate, but for some reason, Ruby just worked for him. So, Ruby it was. (Although you occasionally shortened it to just Rue)

He was fond of being around you, you found. He hadn’t smiled yet. In fact, any emotion out of him other than his pained grimaces was a rare sight to see. But when he could’ve been in his room resting, he had stayed by your side, silently aiding you in whatever you were doing - even after you scolded him to let you handle everything. He was the guest, after all. You assumed this was his way of saying ‘thank you’, however, so you never stopped him if the activity wasn’t too strenuous.

But there was one thing that was worrying you, which was the fact that he was not eating. He had the odd apple or sunsettia now and again, but he had yet to have a full meal. He hadn’t even requested one, which you thought was strange.

Today, you would change that.

“Ruby?” Your head peered into the room from his door that was slightly ajar. The blonde's head moved in your direction, an indication he was listening even though his eyes were trained on the book in his hands. When you didn’t speak, his eyes slowly slid over to where you were standing, raising his eyebrow in confusion.

“Come out here for a moment?”

If he was being honest with himself, your unsure tone scared him. Would today finally be the day your hospitality ended? Were you finally about to abandon him, cast him aside like his master?

Has his time with you come to an end?

He didn’t want to move, but he also didn’t want to keep you waiting. You, who had been so patient with him and his silence. You who had finally given him a place he could tentatively call, ‘home’. If only you knew how he wanted nothing but to please you, tend to your every need like you had done for him, to stay on your good side so you didn’t see the bad in him. He arose from the corner of the bed, stepping out of his room. Instead of being faced with your finger pointing at the front door, he was instead presented with something completely unexpected.

The table was covered in food, a bountiful spread of colourful dishes splayed out before his eyes.

“I, ah… Don’t know what you like so I thought I would make a few of my favourites for you.” His stomach made some strange gurgle and he nearly jumped out of his skin. You, however, were laughing at whatever sound he had just made. “Go ahead, it’s all for you anyway.”

When you were both seated, you scooted a bowl of reddish brown liquid to him, a smile seated on your face.

“But if you would prefer something a little more mild, I would just start with this.” It didn’t matter what plate he decided was the most appetising, you had chosen this for him. This was the one he was trying first. After observing how you ate your own soup, he hesitantly picked up his own utensil and copied your actions. The broth went down smooth. The meat was a little over cooked but it was nothing that made the dish inedible. This wasn’t exactly your proudest culinary achievement, but you had tried your absolute hardest. And surely your new friend wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t perfect, right? It was silent for a while after you saw him take his first bite.

“I know it’s not the best, but I hope you li-“ The words died in your throat.

Tears were streaming down his pale cheeks, the spoon still held up to his lips. His hand was trembling. Oh no, had you messed up that badly?

“Did you burn yourself? I’m so sorry! I didn’t know that it was that hot, are you okay?” You rambled, but the words weren’t registering with him. After almost an eternity of being frozen, one small spoonful was enough to thaw the ice. He didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve you. He could taste the affection, the flavours you so lovingly blended together just for him; a failed experiment, a shadowed copy, a waste of time.

Why? Why would you do this for him when he had been nothing but a burden? Abruptly, he stood. Your voice ceased, and you waited with bated breath for what he was about to do. His hand grasped your arm roughly and pulled you up, forcing a gasp out of you. Was he that angry? You didn’t realise you were such a terrible cook… It tasted fine to you. You winced as his grip tightened, expecting the worst. So when he pulled you into his chest, you were confused. His other hand settled around your waist while the one gripping your arm moved to cradle the back of your head.

It was stiff, both your bodies rigid. His because he was unsure of his actions, you because you weren’t expecting to be wrapped up in his arms. Even though his movements were clumsy, you knew what this was. A hug. Ruby was hugging you. His face buried itself into the crook of your neck and you felt the wetness of fresh tears against your skin. In a harsh sounding voice, ragged with emotion, he utters something quietly,

“Thank you...”

Chapter Text

It’s raining. 

Why was it always raining, whenever you weren’t here? 

A crash of thunder made the blonde pause in his pacing around the room, his eyes shifting to look towards the window at the miserable display of weather. You were supposed to be back by now, what was the hold up? Why weren’t you back? Were you in danger? The thought made his chest tighten with an unfamiliar, uncomfortable emotion. He wasn’t quite sure what it was called, even though you had already tried to explain it to him. Emotions were difficult to grasp, but not impossible to understand. Or feel, unfortunately. Exploring new ways to feel the world around you was an exhausting task, especially when those emotions weren’t exactly positive. 

He remembers the first time he experienced relief while he was with you. When he finally opened up about who he was, or what he was, to be exact. Instead of the reaction he was expecting, instead of the bitter sting of rejection he had grown so used to feeling, he was accepted. For once in his sordid life, he was welcomed with open arms. Not because he was Albedo, not because he was a successful experiment, but just because he was him. Ruby - your precious gem. Even though the feeling of having that heavy weight being lifted off of his shoulders was euphoric, the vast amount of new sensations was too much for him to handle. He remembered how his throat constricted with each desperate gasp of air, how his eyes filled with so much water his vision began to blur, how it felt like he was drowning in oxygen. But he also remembers the comforting feeling of your arms wrapped around his trembling body, and the new-found warmth blooming in his chest that replaced the unbearable tension. How he wishes he could feel that now. 

The doors lock starts to click and he swears he’s never moved faster in his life. 

“Sorry I’m l-“ You were cut off by a hand ungracefully pulling you into the house, and straight into his chest. 

“You’re not hurt?” He asks hastily, hands beginning to roam around your body as he pulls away to get a proper look at you. You shake your head, but he’s not convinced. Especially since one of your hands seems to be obscured from his view. You’re drenched - shivering, cold to the touch, but other than that… 

“Good. You’re not injured.”

“Did I make you worry?” You asked quietly, eyes trained on his face. Ever the enigma, you couldn’t tell what he was feeling, not until he told you directly. It was silent for a moment before he nodded his head hesitantly. 

“I think so.” He confirms, but his eyes aren’t on you anymore. Instead, he’s focused on the squirming movements that were coming from inside of your thick coat. He flinched when he heard a high pitched cry, his gaze immediately flitting back up to you.

“I thought you said you were fine.”

“I am, but…” He heard it again, this time louder, and it definitely wasn’t coming from you. 

“Ruby… Don’t freak out.”

“Freak out?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow. Ah right, you hadn’t taught him that phrase yet. 

“Um… Don’t panic. Better?” He nodded, and with that you moved your coat off your hand slowly. In your palm was a small, squirming lump of soaked fur. It cried out once more, head raising up to look around its surroundings. 

“What is this… Creature?” 

“It’s a kitten. I found it on the way home, that’s why I was late.” The so-called ‘kitten’ squeaked, alerting him of its presence. It was tiny, trembling from head to toe, how it even survived was a miracle itself. Stiffly, he reached his hand out to take it from your own, holding its minuscule body in his grasp. He turned it around, looking at it from every angle as it continued to mewl. 

“I thought we could… Keep it here.” 

“Why?” 

“Because it doesn’t have a home, and it’s cold outside… And it reminded me of you.” 

His head raised to look at you for a moment, shock painted on his pale face for just a second before he looked back down at the small animal. “It’s your home… It’s your choice.” 

Surprised, you stepped forward towards the pair. “Really? You don’t mind?” 

Your friend shook his head slowly, taking another step closer to you so there wasn’t much space between the two of you. “It would be cruel to dispose of it, would it not?” 

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face when you heard those words. How much he had grown, to admit that action was cruel, when just a month ago when you had met him, he would’ve thought the complete opposite. He didn’t seem to notice you grinning from ear to ear at him, his glacial eyes glued to the squirming heap in his hand. He seemed to be a little lost in thought, or lost on what to do. 

“It’s shivering.” He mumbled after a moment, walking away from you and grabbing a nearby towel, wrapping it around its tiny body. You knew he was trying to help, but the poor thing looked like it was drowning in the fabric, squealing as Ruby tried to dry it with the thick cloth. 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Your hands slid on top of his to try to guide his movements. “Gentle…” 

His eyes followed your hands, his own being manipulated entirely by your tender movements - all he was doing now was holding the animal as it was pampered and dried by you. Wordlessly, he placed the kitten in your hands carefully so you didn’t drop it and disappeared out of the room. You were a little confused, wondering if maybe he was frustrated with the new arrival or the task of keeping it warm, but your questions were answered when you saw another towel in his hands. He stepped behind you while you were busy, making you raise an eyebrow. “What are you-“ You were cut off by having your face covered with the cloth before it was swiftly moved away. 

“You’re wet too.” He answered simply, his hands massaging your head with the towel and drying the top of your head. It was subtle, but you could feel that his movements were a lot more gentle with you, almost mimicking what you were doing to the wet lump of fur in your hand. It was soothing, you almost toppled into him from the expert way he was making the tension seep out of your body - you nearly did, had it not been for the hand on the back of your shoulder steadying you when he realised you were losing your balance. 

You weren’t sure how long you had been there when he started moving to the ends of your hair instead, making sure the droplets of water didn’t drip down from the tips and then stopping his drying altogether. “Thank you…” You breathed out, offering a tired smile to your friend who was now by your side. He merely nodded, eyes now back on the mewling baby. He held his hand out carefully, silently offering to take it from your grasp. “Are you sure? It’s already dry and I-“

“You need to change out of your clothes or you’ll get sick. I also suggest a warm shower. ” He did have a point, and you had been stuck in them for a while now. But what if he wasn’t sure what to do while you were gone? What if it was injured or it overwhelmed him if it started squealing again? 

“I’ll be fine, you don’t have to worry.” Ah, it seemed like you weren’t exactly a blank canvas like him when it came to trying to conceal your emotions. As he had put it once, you were like an open book, but a book he still had interest in, with each chapter still drawing him in no matter how many times he has read the same passage. 

“…Please come get me if you need me.” Finally, you relented, and he offered you a nod in reply as you gave him the kitten. After leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek as a thank you, you retreated out of the room and straight into the bathroom to change. 

If only you had stuck around to see how he stood there with a dumbfounded expression, frozen in place as his artificial blood rushes to his cheeks. He raised one hand slowly, tracing where your lips had been, the contact still burning his skin. That feeling again - the fluttering in his stomach, the speeding of his heart, the tingling in his fingertips. What was this emotion again? One too complicated to fixate on, so he simply dismissed it after a few moments, waiting until he had calmed down to make his next move. 

“What do I do with you then?” He mumbled to himself, looking down at the (now) quiet creature, staring back at him with wide, silent eyes. When his head tilted slightly, the kitten mimicked the motion, blinking slowly up at him. Curious, he again tilted his head, this time to the other side. Again, it followed suit. He shook his head, eyes moving away from the tiny fur ball and around the room. After subconsciously worrying himself sick about you, he was feeling drained. 

All he wanted to do was cuddle up to you, something you had done once when he couldn’t sleep and now it had become a part of your daily routine. But unfortunately, you weren’t here at the moment, and the blanket he had wrapped around himself once he sat himself down on the couch felt too big for just one person. He released a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, his shoulders sagging as he melted into the comforting warmth of the fabric. He would’ve much preferred you being here with him, with your head resting against his torso, as his hands carded through your hair. Or his favourite, when his ear was pressed up against your chest so he could listen to the thumping of your heart. He couldn’t quite explain it, the sound was the one thing that gave him the utmost comfort - perhaps it was because it was the most damning proof that you actually existed, that he wasn’t just delusional from being deprived of affection and care. He wasn’t on that mountain, alone. He was with you, and really that was all that mattered to him, even if he didn’t show it very often. 

He had almost forgotten about the kitten at this point, until it started crawling its way up his chest, nudging at his cheek to snap him out of his thoughts. He hummed questioningly, raising his head from where it had rested on his palm, staring down at the purring little thing. Does that mean it was happy? You liked it when he ran his fingers through your hair, especially after a long, stressful day. Maybe if he… Reaching out his hand, he carefully ran his fingertips over the top of the feline’s head, raising an eyebrow when his hand was bumped against in response. The strange noise coming from such a small body was only growing louder, and he hoped that it really did mean it was happy. Well, he wasn’t getting scratched up or bit, so it was safe to assume he was correct. When the little one curled up on top of his thighs- thigh, actually, as it could barely fit on both - a strange feeling began to settle in his chest. A permanent weight felt like it had been lifted, and he could finally feel the fluttering in his torso. You had once described this phenomenon as ‘butterflies’. Ah, yes, he summarises. He was happy.

But now he was also feeling a new sensation, a familiar one at that. He could feel his droopy eyes begin to slide shut on their own, and the need to sleep overtook his senses. Still, he didn’t want to disturb the newest member of the family by lying down. With the lightest touch, (you had mentioned it once, you described it as ‘featherlike’ when he ran his fingers traced intricate patterns on your back) he carefully lifted it off of his lap while he laid himself down, and set the small lump on his stomach. He released a breath when he didn’t feel it stir. And now, finally, his eyes could close and he could just… Sleep. 

“Ruby! Are you hungry?” You called out from your bedroom after you finally changed into some comfortable clothes, feeling refreshed after a much needed shower. When you heard no response, you weren’t exactly surprised - he wasn’t really one to shout. Instead, he waited for you to come to him, face to face so he didn’t need to raise his voice. He was quiet in general, silent almost. Sometimes you forgot he was even here, until he curiously poked his head out of his room if he heard you were busy and asked if you needed any help.

He was getting better, sometimes he even initiated conversations. ‘How was your day?’ ‘Would you like me to start dinner?’ And then your personal (and his) favourite, ‘Would you like a hug?’. For someone he didn’t understand emotions, he was an expert at giving comfort when it was really needed. The way he would take you into his arms, how he would say such sweet phrases to you that would make you melt against his warmth, how he would hold you for as long as you needed him to - you would happily label him a professional at it. After a while, you sadly came to the realisation that perhaps he was giving you what he himself craved back when he was alone on that desolate mountain. You were quick in returning the favour whenever you felt like he needed it, which seemed to be quite often. You didn’t have a clue how much it meant to him, how he felt like he didn’t deserve it so he didn’t ask often, but you knew. You knew.

With a tired hum, you stepped out of your room and made your way to the living room, expecting to see the blonde having a staring competition with the kitten. He does that a lot. And when he stares, you know he was confused, his thoughts so loud you swore you could almost hear them. And then he would act on whatever answer he thought was best. Even though he was smart, most of the time he would get it wrong. You couldn’t help but find it cute when his entire body deflated and a pout began to form on his lips. All it took was some encouraging words from you and a demonstration on what to actually do and he was fine again. There were other times, however, when he would cower away from you if you reached out to touch, repeatedly calling himself a failure for not being able to do such simple tasks. It was a little more difficult to get him to calm down if he got worked up into that state, but thankfully, it didn’t happen nearly as often as it used to. 

Instead, you walked in on something… Rather unexpected. Ruby, so still you could almost mistake him for a porcelain doll, and the small feline you had rescued, fast asleep together on the couch. You almost didn’t want to move in fear of disturbing them, together in their own little world of dreams. But you could see the both of them beginning to shiver, and suddenly you remembered there was a storm raging outside. Trying your best not to disturb the sleeping beauties, you carefully grabbed the nearest blanket and draped it over both of them, making sure the young creature's head wasn’t covered so it could breathe. You froze when you heard a quiet groan, but relaxed when your friend hadn’t seemed to wake up, only shifting to be more comfortable. 

“Sleep well…” A whispered, hush voice whispered in his ear before he felt the gentle press of lips against his cold cheek. 

“Are we not keeping it?” The blonde questioned, looking to where the kitten resided on his shoulder. After you woke him up the next day and fed him breakfast (Pancakes, one of his favourites), you brought up that you weren’t sure where to start looking for a home for the little one. All you earned was a confused look - from the both of them - and that question.

“Well…” You began, frowning as you thought. You weren’t exactly equipped to have a cat, you didn't have any food or toys, and neither of you knew the first thing about taking care of one. You thought it was the smarter choice to give it to someone who did know those things. You weren’t expecting them to get so attached… “I don’t know… Are we really capable of looking after a pet?” 

It was silent for a moment, and you thought maybe you had gotten through to him, until he spoke up. “I can learn.” His voice was quiet, and he was avoiding your eyes now. He never asked for anything he wanted , not even when you asked what he wanted to eat - you had to learn his favourites just from his reactions alone. This was the closest he had come to expressing that he finally wanted something. And who were to deny such an innocent request? 

You let out a heavy sigh, making your way towards the pair and running your fingers through the animal's fur gently. “Would you be happier if I let it stay with us?” He nodded his head slowly, still not meeting your gaze. “Then… I see no harm in keeping it. It is adorable, after all.” You giggled, smiling brightly when his head raised to meet your face. He nodded again, but you could tell from the way his eyes lit up that he was incredibly happy. “So… What do you want to call it?” 

“I don’t… I’ve never named anything.” He shrugged. “I don’t know what to do.” 

“Well, what things are important to you?”

“… You.” He mumbled quietly, and your ears burned from such a sweet, honest answer. You coughed quietly, hiding your surprise before snapping yourself out of it. 

“Ah- Yes- right- you’re important to me too…” You rushed, laughing nervously before clearing your throat once more. “Apart from me, what things do you like…? Your favourite things? Start from there.” Again, there was another silence, this time even longer. And for once you could see the frustration forming on his face as he tried to think. He was lost. “Hm… I named you after a gem. So what’s your favourite colour?” Perhaps this would’ve been an easier question. 

“I like blue…” 

“Perfect! How about Sapphire then?” You suggested with a grin, watching as he thought for a moment. 

“Sapphire…” He spoke in his smooth voice, closing his eyes as he let the sound of the name linger in the air. “I… Like it.” He confirmed, looking back up at you. 

“Ruby and Sapphire… It sounds like I’m collecting precious things, it suits you both very well!” 

“I’m precious?” He asked quietly, looking utterly (and adorably) confused. Sweet thing. 

“Of course you are. And you always will be, to me.” You responded earnestly, resting a hand on top of his cheek, your thumb caressing the soft skin underneath. Another silence, as he stared in your eyes in awe and bewilderment. He could feel that fluttery feeling again… and heat rising to his cheeks. Was this normal? You caught yourself before you could lean forward to seal the space between you, pulling away abruptly with a nervous smile. “Ah… Well… I’ll go out now to look for the things we need.” 

“Can I…?” He asked quietly, reaching for one of your hands. “Excuse me… Can we come with you?” No way was he going to leave his new friend in the house alone. The smile that spread across your face was infectious, since he could feel the edges of his lips beginning to curl up. 

“Yes, you can.” You weren’t letting go of either of these precious gems any time soon.