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The thing about Fez has always been his willingness to catch Lexi. Doesn't matter why she's running, or when she jumps, or if she'll fall without him. If she's in the air, he is already standing there with his arms outstretched.
This time, he spins her around in a circle, her laughter filling the otherwise empty room. She's latched onto his neck, his hands are tight around her waist, and if there's a flurry of nervousness in Fez’s gut, well. That shit was never going to touch her, so it didn't matter.
"I got in!" She shouts for the millionth time right in his ear. When he puts her down, it takes her a long moment to pull away from him. The smile on her face is wide enough to stretch her cheeks and crack her lips, so Fez makes a mental reminder to put chapstick out in the bathroom for her later. "Can you fucking believe it?"
He rolls his eyes and pulls her back in long enough to press a kiss to her forehead. "Course I can believe it. They'd be fucking idiots to deny the Lexi Howard."
Lexi scoffs, but her cheeks are that perfect shade of pink, so he knows the compliment landed. Every day, he gets to watch her get a little more comfortable in her skin, her abilities. If he was a better man, he'd learn how to paint just so he could immortalize the progress she's made instead of hoarding it in his memories, even if there was a part of him that always relishes the idea of knowing her better than anyone else does. It makes him sit taller, prouder. Lexi Howard is a saint, and she's picked Fez to shine her light on.
"I was so nervous," she gushes, like Fez wasn't the one that held her hand as she submitted her applications. "And they gave me financial aid! Mom and I were so nervous that I'd get in and then not be able to afford tuition."
If that had happened, Fez knows he would have stepped in. But he worries he's too much, too fast. So he doesn't tell her that part. Instead: "Congrats, ma. So fucking proud of you."
Her smile is brilliant, and she laughs loudly and boldly when he gets a hand under her legs and carries her over to the couch. Ash groans from the kitchen, even if he calls out a "congratulations, sis" after a beat.
One of Fez’s favorite things about Lexi is how quickly she embraced Ash, even while he was still being skittish. Making him cookies, asking him for help with her math homework, texting him silly shit she sees that reminds her of him. Family is everything to Fez, and he would never be able to settle for someone who doesn't love Ash as fully as Lexi does. Lexi was Ash's family now too, cemented by the first time he'd seen her upset and immediately tried to kick someone's ass over it. A confusing moment for Lexi, a heartwarming one for Fez.
"Ash, get yo ass out here!" Fez says. "This is a big day, you can't be giving her some half-assed congratulations."
He can practically feel Lexi resisting the urge to argue, to say that she doesn't want to bother Ash and that it's not a big deal- but even Lexi, the beautiful, wonderful girl that usually would rather die than cause a fuss- she knows this is big. This is the rest of her life, after all.
Ash comes out a few seconds later, throwing a yellow Gatorade at Lexi. She catches it with a thanks, scrunches her nose as she twists the cap off. Fez is still standing, which gives Ash plenty of time to grab the spot next to Lexi on the couch. As he starts showing her something from one of his video games, Fez sits down in the recliner. Lexi gives Ash her full attention, never mind that they’re supposed to be focusing on Lexi. She seems like she’s genuinely listening and enjoying herself, though, so he lets them be. Her smile is wide. Even Ash is sporting a barely-there grin, like he doesn’t want to seem uncool by smiling too big.
In September, Fez is going to lose her.
The thought hits him like a train and he screws his eyes shut, thankful that there’s no attention on him. It hurts, really, but not even in a way that he could get angry about. He knows he’ll be happy for her, for all the friends she’s about to make, all the people that can hopefully recognize how rare and precious she is. Most of the idiots at high school didn’t appreciate her, but she’d been dreaming about college for a long time, and he knew she was going to crush it there. If she left Fez behind to become the badass version of herself that he always knew she could be, well. He’d have to find a way to live without her warmth.
“Fez?” Her voice cuts through his head, and when he opens his eyes he finds her gaze on him. “Are you okay? Does your head hurt?” She’s poised like she’s ready to run and grab him an ice pack, long familiar now with Fez’s occasional but sudden migraines.
He smiles at her. “I’m good, doll. Whatcha two talking about over there? Fortnite?”
“Fortnite isn’t cool anymore,” Ash scowls.
“Ash wants to play Insomniac’s Spider-Man game, but he doesn’t have a PS5 and the Miles DLC and the sequel are exclusive to the PS5,” Lexi rattles off, like all of that even makes sense.
Fez nods and raises an eyebrow. “Glad someone listens to him about that shit.”
“She’s nicer than you are,” Ash says, like that isn’t obvious just by looking at them.
“Especially considering that she’s letting you talk about a game you ain’t even playing instead of her celebrating getting into fucking college.”
Fez would worry another time. It’s more important right now to focus on Lexi, on keeping a smile on her face.
Lexi barges into the store, a folder in her and her backpack still slung over her shoulders. She waves the folder in his face as she sits down on the counter, smiling a little when she sees him squint at the folder. On the front, in big, embossed letters, is the name “Stanford”.
“Mom gave this to me this morning, I guess it came in the mail yesterday? I don’t know why she didn’t give it to me yesterday. That’s probably not important. Anyway! It’s about accepted students' day. Like, campus tours, looking at what classes I’ll get to take, meeting some of the professors, that sort of thing. It’s in April. April-” she shuffles through some of the papers in the folder. “April 5th. What’s today’s date? So it’s like a month out.”
There’s no one in the store but the two of them and Ash, who’s still tucked away in the back. She hears him rummaging around and expects him to come say hi within the next couple of minutes. If he doesn't, she'll probably go pout at him until he gives her a fist bump.
"You excited?" Fez asks her.
She nods. "Oh my god, yeah. This will finally make it seem real, you know? It keeps feeling like they're going to call me up and saw that I got in by mistake. I'm mean, it's Stanford! Me! I got into Stanford!"
Fez leans forward and tugs her off the counter, adjusting them both so she's settled in his arms instead. The folder presses between them. "Don't say it like that, c'mon. They would've been nutty to turn Lexi fucking Howard away."
"Do you want to come to accepted students day?" Lexi asks, words so rushed that they scramble together. “Like, with me and my mom. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Something complicated happens on Fez’s face, something that Lexi can’t interpret. There’s a long pause, during which Lexi questions every life decision she’s ever made that got her to this point, of the slow realization that for the first time in their relationship, Fez is about to tell her no. She doesn’t think she can handle it. When he opens his mouth, she cuts him off.
“Never mind. That was a stupid idea, there’s no way you want to hang out around a bunch of incoming students.” She wiggles until he lets her go, backing up and letting herself hit the counter. The folder is still clutched in her hands, but she’s suddenly got no idea what to do with it. Fez sighs, but he doesn’t offer to come with her. He doesn’t wipe whatever funny expression is on his face, instead looking down at his shoes. Lexi bites her lip, grateful when Ash walks out onto the floor.
“Yo, Lex. What’s that?” Ash asks, nodding to the folder and sitting on the counter.
Lexi shows him the front of it, and he whistles. “It’s about the accepted students day that’s coming up.”
She lets Ash take it out of her hands, watching him flip through it with raised eyebrows. “Looks like smart people shit to me,” he declares, getting a laugh out of her. He looks over at his brother. “Is this another thing we’re supposed to be celebrating?”
“Sure,” Fez says. It’s obvious that he’s only saying it because he thinks he’s supposed to.
Even Ash notices, glancing between his brother and Lexi with a frown. “Need me to beat him up?” He asks, not even trying to make sure that Fez doesn’t hear.
“Ay,” Fez protests. “Me and Lexi is good, yeah?”
After a moment, Lexi agrees, heart still in her throat. She stays there for a little while longer, chatting with Ash about the new game he’d gotten since the last time she saw him. Fez stays quiet during most of it, only really speaking when a few customers come trailing into the store. Lexi doesn’t know what she just ruined, but she’s sure to keep the folder away from his eyes the rest of the time. When she goes to say goodbye, he holds her tight enough that all the air practically squeezes out of her and buries his face in her hair. She forces a little laugh, says something about how he’s going to see her soon enough.
His only answer is that he loves her.
On accepted students’ day, Fez feels like a piece of shit. He gets one text from Lexi, a selfie of her and Suze at the campus to let him know she got there safely, and then there’s nothing. Radio silence. He knows she’s just busy, that she’s probably still pissed that he never said that he wanted to go with her, and that when he sees her, she’s probably going to talk his ear off about the entire experience until he’s got a second-by-second account of the day. Unless she doesn’t do that, unless she’s already moving on and Fez’s disastrous behavior was just making the process faster.
God, he fucked up. He should have just told her that he wanted to go.
Saying no to his girlfriend isn’t something that Fez is familiar with and there’s been a dull ache in his chest since that hardens whenever he thinks about it for too long. He knows that a smart person would probably just explain to their girlfriend what was going on and try to talk through the issue, but the biggest problem in Fez’s life is that he isn’t smart. He’s an idiot who’s going to let his feelings ruin the best thing in his life.
“What’s with the soap opera levels of brooding happening over there?” Ash asks, suddenly standing in front of his brother.
Fez looks up and scowls. “That ain’t what I’m doing.”
“It is.”
“Man, get the fuck away from me.”
Ash sits down. “Is this cause you were a bitch about accepted students’ day?”
“No.”
“Liar. Just call her, idiot.”
Ash leaves after that, but it still takes Fez an embarrassingly long time to work up the nerve to dial Lexi’s number. He does it toward the evening when he’s pretty sure she’s wrapping up for the day, and she answers on the third ring. “Hey!”
Instantly, some of the weight lifts off his shoulders. “Hey, ma. How’s it going?”
“Oh my god, it’s so amazing!” She gushes, and he can tell that she’s smiling. “I got into that poetry class I was dreaming about! They don’t normally let first-semester freshmen in, but my advisor teaches it and I-”
He listens to her talk until she starts trailing off. “I’m glad you had a good time,” he tells her. He means it, he does, but he also can’t help but wonder if she would have had more or less fun if he’d been there with her. Obviously, he doesn’t ask her that.
“We’re staying here tonight,” she reminds him. “But I’ll swing by your place tomorrow, if that’s okay?”
“Course.”
“Great! I love you.”
Before he can say it back, someone on the other end is calling her name, and she disconnects the call. Ash asks if he’s feeling less mopey now, but Fez doesn’t really know how to answer that, so he doesn’t.
There’s kind of a lot of crying when Lexi gets dropped off at Stanford.
Suze, Cassie, Ash, and Fez all come with her. Ash and Cassie spend the whole car ride up bickering seemingly about nothing, until all of a sudden Ash clocks that Cassie is texting Ethan, and then he focuses his attention on trying to make a ship name for them. It makes Cassie turn a bright red, a screeching noise escaping from the back of her throat as Lexi breaks out into laughter. Suze and Fez only try to contain them for a few minutes before turning back to their much calmer conversation about a tree Suze wants to get taken down in the yard. Everyone sobers a bit once they pull up to campus though, and Lexi can see her sister already starting to get teary-eyed.
Fez sticks to her side as much as he can, grabbing her boxes and suitcase from the back of the car and following her up to her dorm. She was supposed to have a roommate, although apparently the girl decided last minute that she would rather try to find rare types of spiders in Australia, so for the time being, Lexi’s got a room to herself. She’s pretty sure she’ll get a roommate eventually. For now, it’s nice to not have to introduce anyone to her wacky family, especially when Ash is still making fun of Cassie, who looks about to cry every time someone mentions that they have to leave Lexi here. A year ago, Cassie’s dramatics probably would have annoyed Lexi, but now it just makes her want to hold her sister tight. The Howard sisters had been through a lot of highs and lows together and had managed to make it out stronger than before. It’s something that Lexi imagines she’ll be eternally grateful for, something that couldn’t have happened without Fez’s calming presence. Family was everything to him, and when he’d adopted Cassie into the fold, it’d done wonders in smoothing things out. He was a man in Cassie’s life who saw her as a person, something that Cassie didn’t get a lot. It’d been a sinking realization for Lexi.
“Cass,” Lexi calls, holding her arms out. Cassie immediately falls into the hug, wrapping her arms tight around Lexi’s middle. “You know I’m not moving out forever, right? I’ll be home as much as I can be.”
Cassie sniffles. “Because your hot boyfriend will be home?”
Lexi laughs. “Yes. But also because my sister and mom will be home. And my hot boyfriend’s little brother.”
They pull apart after a minute, going back to unpacking Lexi’s stuff into her room. She hadn’t been sure what to bring. Fez, however, had showed up at her house one day with a list and a plan to bring her to Target. They’d gotten all the necessities then, and he’d brought her on a subsequent trip the week after to get her whatever else she wanted. He’d claimed that it was her birthday present, even if they weren’t even close to her birthday.
Fez holds up the world map tapestry, shaking it a little to get Lexi’s attention. “Above your bed, you think?”
When Lexi nods, Fez gets to work. Ash comes up beside her, handing her a granola bar to scarf down really quick. There is a family dinner for all the students at five, which is still four hours away. Ash knows she gets hangry, so he declared this morning that it was his job to keep everyone fed.
"What do we want to do once the room is mostly unpacked?" Suze asks. "There's a weird gap in the schedule."
Lexi shrugs. "Can we just hang out? Doesn't have to be in here, it's just…"
Well, it's just that for the first time, it's really hitting Lexi that she's not going to see any of these people tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. She's a long ways away and doesn't have a car. She won't be able to sneak up on Fez or give him the things she'll crochet him right away, or hold him tight when her brain gets too loud. She won't be able to take care of him when he gets a migraine or play video games with Ash and watch Fez pout that she's paying attention to his brother instead of him.
Fez seems to sense the sudden shift in Lexi's mood. He's by her side in a few seconds, wrapping one arm around her and pulling her against his side. She settles there gratefully and rests her head against his chest. "I know," he tells her. "We're gonna miss you something fierce."
She ignores the sounds of Cassie and Ash pretending to gag, instead going up on her tiptoes to kiss Fez. They're going to be in different locations, but their relationship is as strong as ever.
The rest of the day passes by in a hazy blur. Too soon, it's time to say goodbye for good. Everyone holds onto Lexi tightly. It feels a bit like she's being suffocated, not that she minds. She's got one arm around Fez and one around Cassie, and she's squeezing them just as tightly. It's unnerving to see tears gathering in Fez's eyes, especially in front of so many other people, so when they pull away she immediately goes to wipe under his eyes. He grabs onto her hand for a few moments, pressing a kiss to the back of it before letting it drop back at Lexi's side.
"See you soon?" Lexi asks, because she knows that if she tries to properly say goodbye, it'll get caught in her throat.
Fez nods. "Yeah. I'll see you soon, Lex. I love you."
"Love you too."
Two weeks into Lexi being gone, Fez gets a cat. It feels fitting, albeit accidental.
The little fucker had darted in front of Fez while he was trying to drive home. Fez hadn’t hit her, but it’d been a close call. She’d been in awful shape, and when he took her to the vet, they told Fez that not only did the cat not have a chip, she was seriously malnourished. For five seconds, he considered dropping her off at the shelter, but then he had to imagine Lexi’s response to that, and then the cat was looking at him with big eyes and purred when he put his hand on her head, so.
Fez has a cat.
She’s sitting on the couch right now, staring at Fez and Ash.
“What the fuck we gonna do with a cat?” Ash asks.
Fez shrugs. “Dunno. Keep her at the store?”
Ash seems to ponder this for a second before he sits down next to the cat. She tenses like she’s going to run away and then changes her mind, butting her head against Ash’s hand. A small smile appears on Ash’s face, and that’s all the confirmation that Fez needs that they’re keeping the cat.
“Can we name her Ottessa?”
Fez frowns. “What kind of fucking name is Ottessa?”
“Exactly!”
“Shit, man. Is Ottessa even a real name?”
“I think so.”
Fez takes out his phone, and Ash groans. “What?”
“You’re asking Lex if she likes the name Ottessa, aren’t you?”
That’s exactly what Fez is doing, but he still lies and tells Ash that he’s not. Ten seconds after he sends the text, he gets a phone call from Lexi.
“You got a cat!” It’s not even really a question, the way she practically screams it. Fez has to hold his phone a little further from his ear.
“I think so. Found her this morning, vet said it didn’t look like she has any owners. Ash wants to name her Ottessa, can you fucking believe that?”
Lexi pauses.
“Damn, you like that name, don’t you?”
“A little.”
They name the cat Ottessa. She likes to sleep curled against Fez’s stomach. It’s one of those things that doesn’t annoy him even though it probably should. Her purring helps lull him to sleep, and even just having her around makes him feel a bit closer to Lexi. It’s dumb, and he definitely isn’t about to tell his girl that and seem like an idiot, but he does hug Ottessa closer to him sometimes and imagine Lexi next to them
In high school, Lexi had trouble making friends. In college, she doesn’t.
She’d connected with two people during accepted students’ day, and even if it does seem unrealistic to be best friends with the first people she met on campus, they instantly become a little group. Hafsah and Kai are business and finance majors, so they don’t have any classes together, but people can usually catch them sitting on the quad after classes, usually talking about books or Kai’s obsession with Oscar Issac (which Lexi thinks is understandable). She fills them in on her life pre-Stanford, giggling when they hoot and holler about her play and demand to meet Ethan.
So the first time Fez drives up, she’s so excited to have them meet him.
It’s been a little over a month since orientation, and when Fez sends her the text that he’s here, she flies down the stairs and out the door, practically slamming her whole weight against him. He huffs, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her feet off the ground. She hooks her ankles together behind his back and gives him a deep kiss, enjoying how steady she is in his arms until she breaks the kiss and plants her feet back on the ground “Hi,” she says with a blush. “How are you?”
“After that greeting? I’m fucking fantastic,” he says, laughing when Lexi playfully shoves his shoulder. “How’re you?”
“Good! Come on, Hafsah and Kai are waiting to meet you.”
She pulls him into the building, tugging a little when his steps seem to falter. Her room is on the third floor, but Fez doesn’t say anything for the entire walk up. The second they get to the room, her friends are standing up in a single file line to formally meet Fez.
Hafsah is first. She sticks her hand out like she wants Fez to shake it. There’s a really awkward moment before Fez seems to realize what Hafsah is trying to go for. Hafsah starts to lower her hand by the time Fez goes out to shake it, but Hafsah’s smile doesn’t dip the entire time, ever the ray of sunshine she was back when Lexi first met her. Kai is next. Lexi warned him earlier that hugging Fez probably isn’t a good idea. He still starts forward like he’s going to before settling for a pat on the shoulder. Fez mostly looks confused by that but says hello.
“Good to meet Lexi’s people,” he says. He already seems more reserved than he was when Lexi first jumped out at him, although that doesn’t strike Lexi as odd. Fez takes a little while to get comfortable with people. Like a cat. “Heard a lot bout you.”
Kai scoffs. “Not as much as we’ve heard about you, trust me.”
“Don’t be embarrassing!” Lexi protests, blushing when Fez laughs a little beside her. After another weird pause, Lexi encourages everyone to sit down. She somehow ends up with Kai on the bed, Fez in the desk chair, and Hafsah on the floor. It’s a bitch move to ask Kai to switch with Fez though, so she decides to leave it for now.
If Lexi, Kai, and Hafsah accidentally leave Fez out of the conversation, Lexi doesn’t notice.
Once it starts getting dark out, her friends take off for the night, pressing kisses to the top of her head as they go back to their respective dorms. Lexi turns to Fez, pausing at the look on his face. It is the same look he had right before he turned down Lexi’s invite to accepted students’ day. She feels something unpleasant twist in her gut. “You okay?”
He hums in response, which really isn’t a response at all. Lexi slides off the bed to stand in front of him. Before she can say anything, he stands and asks where the bathroom is.
“Fez.”
“Lex, where’s the bathroom?”
Lexi points out where the bathroom is. He goes without another word, and while she waits for him to get back, she paces around.
“Did you not like them?” Lexi asks, crowding into Fez’s space once he returns. “You don’t have to like them. Obviously. And you can tell me if you don’t.”
“They cool, Lexi,” he says, and she isn’t sure if she believes him. Something still feels off. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“You’d tell me if something is wrong, right? I mean, like-”
“Do you wish I was smarter?”
It feels like a punch to the gut. “What?”
Immediately, Fez shrinks back. “Never mind.”
“Fez.”
He walks past her, running his hands over his head. “I said never mind.”
“I don’t think you’re dumb. I don’t want you to be anything other than yourself. Come on. Where’d that come from?”
“Never mind!” He snaps, and Lexi takes a step back. “Sorry. Just. I don’t want to talk about it. Okay?”
A month later, things come to a head.
Lexi is visiting home for the first time, and she’s his and Ash’s for the day, having spent the day before with her mother and her sister. It’s fine at first. Lexi is too caught up playing with Ottessa, who is instantly in love with Lexi, as she should be. The cat has settled wonderfully into the home, and even though she spends a lot of time at the store, Fez and Ash can never resist bringing her back home for cuddles and whatnot. Everything is good, right up until Ash goes to check something at the store, and Lexi turns to him and says that she wants to talk about that dumbass thing he said last month.
He’s still not sure why the fuck he did that. Her friends had been nice enough, and he always loved listening to Lexi talk, but. God. He’d felt like a total idiot, not being able to keep up with a lot of their conversation. When he found out that he’d be meeting Hafsah and Kai, he’d told himself that he wasn’t going to sit there silently and be weird, but that’s exactly what ended up happening. The three of them were speaking to each other so fast, and it would be obvious to anyone watching the four of them that Fez was simply the dumbest person there. It wasn’t a big deal. Really. He likes how smart Lexi is. It was just…some combination of everything he’s already been worrying about, all his concerns about Lexi realizing that she’s better off dating some smart Stanford person compounded by meeting some smart Stanford people. Both Kai or Hasfah would be better for Lexi than Fez, probably. He doesn’t always get why Lexi hangs around him.
“You’ve been weird about some college stuff,” Lexi notes. She isn’t much of an observer now, much more involved in her own life, but that doesn’t mean she’s gotten less insightful about other people. “We need to talk about it.”
Slowly, Fez starts confessing his worries. That Fez isn’t good enough for her, that she’s going to find better people at college, that everyone she went to high school with were fucking idiots for not realizing how amazing she is but how he doesn’t think that’ll be the same in college, that her friends are too smart for him, that every time she calls there’s a split second where he thinks she’s about to break up with him. When he finishes, he turns to look at Lexi. Her face is contorted, and she looks angry.
“How long have you been feeling like that?”
“Since you got your acceptance letter, I guess.”
She blows a big breath out of her nose. “That’s insane.”
Before he can ask what she means by that, she swings herself around so that she’s perched on top of his lap, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him deeply. She presses against him as hard as she can manage, wiggling until she seems satisfied with her position. Fez instinctively holds her back. They’d probably look insane to anyone else, intertwined so completely while Lexi kisses him aggressively, but when they break apart, Fez only draws her into another deep kiss. It’s the kind of kissing that usually turns into more. Before it can, Lexi pulls away again and gaps out, “We need to talk still, though.”
“I like this better.”
“Too bad.” She moves again, remaining on his lap while leaning back enough that she’s not totally in his space. “I love you. You know that, right?”
Fez nods. “I know.”
“Which means I love everything about you. I think you’re smart, Fez. But even if you weren’t, I wouldn’t suddenly not want to date you. There’s so many things that are more important in a partner than baseline intelligence. You make me so incredibly happy, you know? You listen to me, you make me laugh, you’re the sweetest, most selfless person I’ve ever met in my entire life. And I like to think that I make you happy, too.”
“You really fucking do, ma.”
“I don’t want to break up with you. Maybe we should have talked more about this before I went off to Stanford, and that’s on me, but I’m saying it now. I don’t want to break up with you. I’m madly in love with you, actually. As long as you’re willing to do long distance, you’re stuck with me. You’re more than good enough for me. If I hear anyone else say that, I’m going to see if those punching lessons Ash gave me pay off. Fuck that shit. You’re good enough. Of course you are.”
He buries his fingers in her hair. “I like bein’ stuck with you.”
She kisses him once gently on his forehead. “I think you’re the love of my life.”
The words floor him. He doesn’t know what to say, so he buries his head against her shoulder. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Please, just. Tell me when you’re feeling like this? You deal with my bad brain moments all the time. I want to know when there’s something I can help with. Deal?”
“Deal.”
The rest of Lexi’s visit passes by in a beautiful, hazy blur. When she has to leave, she holds his face in her hands and presses kisses to everything she can get to, both of them laughing softly through the entire thing. Seconds after she walks out the door, his phone buzzes. It’s a text from Lexi.
Love you forever. Tell Ottessa that her and her owner and beautiful and wonderful and amazing.