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The only thing he had was that battlefield. The screams of those who died under him, the taste of their dreams filling his stomach. The cruel god that commanded him to remove all that was in their way. He was just a bloodhound that served, nothing more. It didn’t matter if he didn’t want to. It didn’t matter if the cries of the damned and the curses of the ones that lived hurt him. He had no will of his own, he could only follow the wishes of that god. The gentle soul he was before gone to the whims of that being.
There was no recompose, there was no salvation for someone like him. Someone who was cruel and killed without mercy. Who tortured those who were unable to defend themselves. He knew there would be no redemption for someone like him. He didn’t deserve it. All he wanted was an end to this misery. Someone to stop him, someone that was strong enough to stand up to his spear.
However much he wished, that day never came. Every day he heard the screams of the innocent, his stomach full of their hopes and dreams. He no longer cried when he plunged his spear into their bodies, the pleas of mercy didn’t sway him. It was getting easier and easier to not think anymore. Just following the will of the god was safer.
He was wandering through a field one morning. The cruel god had sent him out here to guard it from invaders. The god had caught wind of a war occurring in the south. Something about fighting archeons. In response, the god sent him out to keep watch. To keep watch and remove any opposition.
He hated times like this. With nothing to focus on his mind would wander. He would think of the person he used to be and the person he was now. How the person of his past would not recognize the him of today. How they were different people. How the cruelty had wrapped around his soul, the deaths weighing down on him.
“Dang it, I knew I shouldn’t have listened to Aether and used that teleport.”
His attention snapped to the voice, confused that someone had been able to sneak up on him. A girl in a white dress accented in blue stood in the field, the flowers gently swaying around her. Her hands were on her hips as she looked around, a pout on her lips. Sensing his stare, her attention snapped in his direction, those amber eyes shifting to caution as she eyed the spear in his hand.
His orders were clear, stop anyone that made it to this field. No matter how defenseless they seemed.
He darted towards her, spear out. He would make it as painless as possible for her. The cruel god didn’t order him to draw out the suffering.
She lifted a hand, a sword appearing in her grasp as she countered his spear, sparks flying from the impact. His eyes widen in surprise, not expecting her to be able to fight back. Her eyes met his for a moment, serious amber eyes, the eyes of a warrior that had fought many battles.
He couldn’t think of it further as he adjusted his grip on his spear and swung at her again. Again she parried his blow, this time she darted in, her blade aimed for his chest.
It was only his experience with fighting that he was able to duck away in time. She was skilled. More skilled than anyone he had fought before. As they traded blows, a small thought bloomed in the back of his mind. Could she be the one to save him? Would she be able to free him from this eternal torment?
As they continued to fight, the hope grew stronger and stronger. He could not disobey the cruel god’s will but there was a limit to what his body could do.
He grunted as her boot connected with his chest, knocking him to the ground, his spear tossed to the side. She stood over him, her sword aimed for his heart. Sweat rolled down his skin as he was panting from the exertion as he looked up at her. She didn’t even look like she broke a sweat, this more of a training exercise for her than a fight to the death.
“Well, I will admit, wasn’t expecting to get attacked like that,” she commented.
His body wanted to obey the cruel god’s wishes. He needed to kill her and yet the exhaustion flooded his limbs making it difficult to move. “Please, just finish it.” His voice was croaky and weak. Partly from exhaustion and partly from not using his voice for the longest time of his own free will.
She stared down at him, her brow furrowed in contemplation.
His hand twitched as feeling slowly came back to it. It wouldn’t be long before he recovered. “Please,” he whispered. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He didn’t want to be trapped by the whims of a cruel god. For once he felt a slight hint of warmth in his chest. Hope. Hope that this could finally be over.
Instead she pulled her blade back and crouched next to him, her head tilted slightly as she stared at him. “You didn’t want to fight me, did you?”
He opened his mouth but the words would not leave him. The god that held him made it clear that questions like this could not be answered.
“I guess that answers that question.”
He tried to speak again but again the words caught in his throat.
“How did I know?” She shrugged. “When you see as much as I have, you just get a sense of how some things end up.”
She got up, her sword disappearing as she stretched her arms over her head. “Well Aether will probably chew me out for this later but it’s his fault for telling me to use that teleport.” She pointed in the direction of the god’s abode. “Whoever has a hold on you is in that direction right? I assume it is the case based on you fighting harder to prevent me from going this way.”
“You…can’t,” he managed to get out. “Too powerful.”
She smiled down at him as odd wings erupted from her back. He had never seen anything like them before. Six separate wing pieces, them moving in tune to her. “Well, I think whoever this being is will need to worry about me. You just stay here and rest for now.” She paused and tapped her lip for a moment. “Oh wait, it would be difficult if whoever controls you tries to command you. Sorry about this, it’ll only be a moment.”
She rested her hand over his chest, and he felt a shock rip through his body. The pain was so great he couldn’t help but cry out, the darkness that pulled him under a welcoming sight.
He woke up in the pitch black of night. Immediately he could tell something was wrong. It felt like there was something missing. Like the shackle on his leg had been removed. For once he could move his limbs without feeling like there was someone else controlling him with their strings.
He thought of the girl and what she said.
The cruel god.
He hurried back to the abode and was shocked to see it was in ruins, the god’s body lying cold and bleeding. A man stood over the now dead god, his arms and legs glowing gold.
Rex Lapis.
Even he knew that name. It was the being that was a thorn in the side of the god he served. And yet now that god was gone.
“You must be the one the god had under his control.” Rex Lapis looked down at the fallen god with sullen eyes. “I’ve heard what he made you do. Cruelty that does not fit a being such as you. It is dangerous for you to use your name, it is tied with power, a weapon to control you.” Rex Lapis thought for a moment. “If it suits you, may you use the name Xiao? In a faraway land that was the name of a spirit that went through suffering and hardship which seems like your predicament.”
Xiao. A name for him. He tested the name on his lips and liked how it sounded. “Was there a girl here?” he asked as Rex Lapis turned to leave. “A girl in a white dress?”
“A girl?” Rex Lapis thought for a moment and shook his head. “I did not see any girl. Although all of the creatures that were guarding this abode were taken out before I got here and this god was exhausted from a previous battle.”
Where could she be? Xiao quickly went through the abode but found no trace of the mysterious girl. Based on those alien wings of her and how she appeared from nowhere he wondered if she had had disappeared in the same way.
By the time he returned to the front of the abode, he had to run to catch up to Rex Lapis. “Wait,” said Xiao. “Is there anything I can do to help you? In return for you saving me.”
Xiao’s life had been dictated by the cruel god for too long. He didn’t know what to do with this newfound freedom. It was overwhelming. He also knew he could never return to the person he was before, all he had left were the means to kill and the weight of the sins he bore. There was nothing else for him. The girl was gone, the only one here who could direct him was Rex Lapis.
Xiao protected the people of Liyue from the shadows for years. The time passed, the years blending into each other but still he fought the demons to protect the mortals. He fought to remove the burden of his sins and yet his karmic debt rose with time. It was an eternal dance of good and evil, but Xiao chose to walk this path.
His memories from long ago faded with the time, fraying and tattering and he couldn’t even recall certain important events anymore, like how he got his vision. He still remembered her though. The girl in the white dress with alien wings who promised to help him. He didn’t know why that memory stuck out to him, why it still kept the same level of detail. Perhaps it was due to their duel, the first time Xiao had met someone stronger than him. Perhaps it was her using her magic against him. Or maybe it was how whenever he met someone new, he would look to see if they had the familiar features of that mysterious girl.
As time continued to move on, even that memory was starting to fade a little. It had been so long that even with her not being human there was no way she could be alive or even look the same. His days continued as the Vigilant Yaksha that defended Liyue. Nothing was going to change.
Until that day at Wangshu Inn.
Xiao had caught wind of a traveler with a floating companion was looking for him. He sat on the roof when they had arrived at the inn so he could assess them before possibly approaching. He froze as the girl walked onto the balcony, a flying creature by her side.
A familiar white dress accented in blue.
Blonde hair. Shorter than what he remembered. The two flowers in her hair were new too. It was her though. The girl from hundreds of years ago.
Why was she here? Why was she looking for him?
“Oh? He’s not here,” commented the flying creature next to her.
The girl thought for a moment before going to the railing to look out at the scenery.
Xiao shook his head, feeling returning to his body. He couldn’t just sit up here. He appeared next to her to wait for her to notice him. What could he say? It had been so long since their last meeting, what words could he say? He was thankful that she was alright, he wanted to know her name, he wanted to show his thanks for saving him on that day.
The creature floating next to her gasp and pointed at him. “How long have you been there!”
The girl turned her attention to him. Theamber eyes didn’t light up in recognition, there was no acknowledgement of Xiao. She just regarded him with a slight head tilt and a smile. “Hi, I have a sigil of permission.” She took it out and showed it to him.
“I see,” said Xiao, barely looking at it. Normally he would have commented on how humans should stay away from adeptus but he knew she was anything but human. What else could explain how she hasn’t aged since he last saw her? “Do you remember me?” he asked slowly.
The flying creature gasped. “What! Lumine, have you met the Vigilant Yaksha before!?”
Lumine. He finally had a name to the girl from his memory.
She regarded Xiao for a moment with a furrowed brow and then shook her head. “I’m sorry but I don’t recall. Have we met before?”
Xiao’s shoulders dropped, the small bit of hope flickering out. Of course. He had been silly to think that she was the same person. It was impossible. He was a nature spirt so it made sense that he wouldn’t age but the girl from his past obviously wasn’t that. “I must be mistaken,” he mumbled, realizing this Lumine was waiting for a response.
“We should tell him what happened,” spoke the flying creature.
Xiao listened numbly as they spoke of the death of Rex Lapis. He couldn’t believe that Rex Lapis was gone. The Geo Archeon was a sturdy pillar in Liyue and yet…
No, he had to complete his role as an adeptus and alert the others.
Lumine took care of that.
Lumine stuck her neck out for the people of Liyue, she fought alongside them against Osial, her sword never wavering. A familiar sword to Xiao. It was the same one that had been drawn against him all those hundreds of years ago. Her fighting style. Even when she was fighting enemies Xiao recognized the style. It was the same footwork, the same quick thrusts, a sword style that was almost like dancing.
Despite his initial disappointment Xiao couldn’t help but wonder. Could Lumine possibly be the same girl? She didn’t have wings and instead used a wing glider but besides that everything felt the same for Xiao. The more time past, the more he saw her fight, Lumine couldn’t be anyone but the girl from his past.
“Lumine, spar with me,” he said one day.
Lumine was now spending more time than not in Inazuma but she came back to visit on the regular. She said it was to have a meal at Wangshu Inn but she would always call for Xiao to join her. Of course he grumbled about it, adeptus were busy after all but she always had a plate of almond tofu ready for him.
“What? That’s super random!” commented Paimon.
“I just want to see how your skills had developed since you’ve been in Inazuma,” snapped Xiao. He had gotten better at dealing with Paimon but sometimes she got on his nerves.
“I have no problem with that,” said Lumine, taking a final bite of her salad. Her amber eyes twinkled. “Do you think you can win against me though?”
A smile twitched the corner of his lips. “Well I hope you pose a bit of a challenge.”
They moved to the small island near the inn. Lumine had her sword at the ready, Xiao his spear.
“Alright you two, I want a clean fight!” Paimon set her hands on her hips. “No funny business, especially from you Xiao.”
“Come on Paimon, it won’t be like that at all,” said Lumine with a giggle.
Xiao just adjusted his grip on his spear. “You ready?” he asked.
Lumine regarded him a moment, her head tilted slightly. It reminded him of how the girl from the past had regarded him as she figured out, he was under the control of the cruel god. Or perhaps his memories of the past were mixing with the present.
No matter. Even if his memories were not accurate, he remembered that duel in his body.
Lumine was the one to strike first. Xiao lifted his spear to counter her blade before swinging down with his own, Lumine quick to parry. As they traded blows Xiao was hit by how familiar this was and yet there were slightly differences in her sword style. Lumine would sometimes hold her ground while the girl of the past would parry. In a way, it felt like she was compensating for something. In passing conversation Lumine had mentioned she was searching for her brother. Perhaps she had to alter her style to account for what her brother would cover?
“I thought you of all people wouldn’t be distracted in a duel,” Lumine commented with a grin as she almost knocked Xiao’s spear out of his hand.
“You were just lucky,” he replied curtly before renewing his efforts.
Lumine was strong, Xiao would give her that. She traded blows with him with ease, her footwork light and elegant. However Xiao could see there was a difference in their strength. By fighting the demons of Liyue, Xiao had built up stamina to fight for extended periods of time. He could tell she was tiring before she probably did, her swings not as strong as before, her dodges closer more often time than not. For a bit Xiao stayed his blows, not wanting this to end. Not wanting the time he felt close to that girl from a long time ago to fade away. However even he realized at some point there had to be a winner for this duel.
He darted forward, parrying Lumine’s attempt to bring up her sword and stopped with his spear a centimeter from Lumine’s neck.
“X…Xiao wins!” squeaked Paimon.
Xiao pulled his spear back to give Lumine room.
Lumine sighed and made her sword disappear. “I guess that is your win. I guess I’m no match for the Vigilant Yaksha.”
“It was an even match for the most part,” he mumbled as he let his spear vanish.
“I wouldn’t say that, I could tell you were holding back a bit near the end.” She crossed her arms and regarded him. “What was that about?”
Xiao looked away, not sure how to explain it. He couldn’t tell her that he didn’t want it to end. His connection to this mysterious girl that may or may not be Lumine. This was the first time he felt close to her since that time.
Lumine leaned in towards his face. “Xiao? Are you alright?”
“Did you ever have wings?” He blurted out without thinking.
Lumine’s eyes widen in surprise and confusion. “What?”
“Wings. Six of them, slightly gold. Not like a bird…like…” He couldn’t think of a word to describe them. They weren’t organic or something that could be found in nature. They weren’t mechanical either. They were just alien, foreign, not something from this world. He shook his head. “Forget it.”
He was about to teleport when Lumine grabbed his hand. “Hang on Xiao.” She looked up at him, her brow furrowed like she was trying to figure out a puzzle. “I did used to have wings. How did you know that?”
She did? Xiao’s faded memories of the past collided into what he knew about Lumine. Of course it was her. There shouldn’t have been any doubt in his mind.
“Wait, does this mean the two of you have met before all this?” Paimon asked with a loud gasp.
“You asked me if we’ve met before when I came to talk to you with the sigil of permission,” said Lumine slowly like she was slowly putting the pieces together.
Xiao knew he couldn’t get out of it now. If he tried to flee Lumine would just call him back with his name. They sat on the nearby rocks as he explained his past to her. How he used to be under the command of a cruel god. Of how he was guarding a field during the Archeon War when Lumine had showed up. How they had fought and then Lumine said she would help him. How he never saw her again after that.
“Whoa, I can’t believe something like that happened?” squeaked Paimon. She looked to Lumine wide-eyed. “Did that happen?”
Lumine looked at the ground, her brow furrowed in thought. She shook her head. “I’m sorry Xiao but I don’t remember that at all.”
Xiao’s shoulders slumped.
“That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen though,” Lumine continued quickly. “I mean, it’s obvious you know I’m not from this world and I’ve also lived a long time. It is possible my brother and I could have come to this world before and something like that had happened. I mean from how you described this person you saw; it probably was me.”
Xiao felt torn. On one hand he did find the girl from the past but the other, she didn’t remember their meeting. It was such a strong memory for him, something that still clung to him to this day and yet Lumine didn’t remember it at all. It wasn’t memorable to her. It wasn’t anything special. It had just been a normal day.
“That’s crazy, what were the chances that you would be the one to help Xiao,” said Paimon.
“I agree as well,” said Lumine. “Sorry about not remembering what happened back then Xiao. But don’t worry, I won’t forget anything that’s happened now.”
“Right…” he said slowly. She said that but it had already happened once. What’s to say it wouldn’t happen again? Or perhaps he was just so conceited to think of himself as someone important to her.
He paused. An odd thought. Why did it matter if he was someone important to her? Because he thought of her as someone important to him? Was that what it was? He had placed this version of her from his memory as someone important to him.
“Xiao, really I’m sorry.” Lumine reached over and gently took his hands in hers. “I’m sorry that I forgot about our first meeting. But I’m glad we could meet again.”
Xiao nodded, not really sure what else to say but he knew he couldn’t be in her presence for the moment. He made up an excuse, something about demons being nearby and he had to take care of them.
Lumine nodded. “Alright, be careful Xiao. Maybe we can talk about this again when we have the time?”
Xiao nodded. “We can.”
He teleported away to the roof of Wangshu Inn. The evening breeze was strong up here, but the cold didn’t affect him much. It was honestly welcoming to his frenzied thoughts. Lumine didn’t remember him. There was no denying that fact. Why did it tug on his chest like it did? It was only one event from hundreds of years ago. He’s had many more interactions with her after that. And yet this one thing pained him so.
He sat up there for hours, trying to piece together his thoughts but no matter how much he tried, they just wouldn’t come together in a way that made him understand why this bothered him like it did.
“So you are up here.”
Xiao broke out of his thoughts and saw Lumine was climbing onto the roof. He had been so lost in thought he hadn’t realized she had gotten so close.
She sighed as she made it onto the roof and plopped down next to him. “How were the demons you fought?”
“Fine. The usual,” he replied curtly, almost forgetting that was the lie he gave her.
“That’s good to hear.”
Silence stretched between them. Usually it was fine. Xiao was a fan of silence, it meant he didn’t need to talk but right now it just hung between them with unspoken words.
“I can tell it’s really bothering you,” Lumine said softly. “That I don’t remember.”
“It’s fine, I understand,” he replied. It really had been just another day for her after all.
She sighed and leaned over so their shoulders were touching. “You might be saying that but I know you don’t believe it.”
Damn her for being able to read him so well.
“I won’t forget Xiao. Whatever happens now, I’ll remember it.”
Xiao nodded, not sure what he could say. However he would admit it was nice to be touching shoulders like this. Maybe he just wanted her close after all. Perhaps it would be better to not worry about that and enjoy the moment, at least for now.
“Can you tell me some stories?” he mumbled.
“Stories?”
“About your travels. To other worlds.” Maybe if he heard about what she has experience it would make sense to him why the memory wasn’t important to her. “If it’s not a problem,” he added, realizing that it might be painful for her since it meant she would be thinking about her missing brother.
“Not at all. The only one I’ve been able to talk to about this stuff is Paimon. Hmmm, oh, I know. There was a time when we went through this swamp made from candy…”