Work Text:
Stepping out of the elevator, Traynor’s footsteps were light, even with her little hop out onto the Crew deck floor. She held a datapad to her chest with one arm, using the other to swing her weight around the wall to propel herself down the corridor. Her search for the Commander seemed never ending, but this was always a little more fun than pinging her with a message or over the intercom. That and well, her messages had gone unanswered anyway.
Instead, she had decided to try her luck asking around the mess hall, knowing usually around this time she could find a few of the other crew lingering about for their usual food and gossiping. As always, she was correct, near immediately laying her eyes upon Garrus at one of the tables, Liara leaning her back against it as they were pulled into a quiet conversation. Though it was the Asari who noticed her, and gave her a polite, tired smile.
“You look as if you have something to ask us..” she observed, pausing the conversation she was having with the Turian next to her. “Please, go ahead.”
“I’m looking for the Commander, I found a lead that might be worth her time, but it’s been hours since I saw her return…” Traynor was quick to reply, tapping her fingers against the datapad. “Have either of you seen her?”
There was a long silence, before the other two exchanged a look, and Garrus took a breath, mandibles flexing.
“She’s in life support.”
That earned him a look, brow creasing in question. That seemed like an odd choice to spend her free time, especially had she been there the entire time. Although Traynor had checked odder places, she felt like. It still didn’t stop her from asking..
“Why?”
Another bout of silence, this time a little longer. Looking from Traynor, then past her, even she could tell Garrus was looking at the corridor behind her for the door to Life Support. He was thinking about it now, she could see the gears turning for just a moment before he spoke again.
“It was his room.”
That’s when everything settled into realization, and suddenly it felt like there were no other questions to be had. She didn’t need a name, with the solemn look and how heavy the air felt with those words, there was an insinuation. Everyone knew. It also made sense then, why the Commander had not been seen, and Traynor made a safe assumption she would not be seen for a while yet.
Hugging the datapad closer to her chest, knuckles white in their tight grip, she exhaled a breath she hadn’t even known she was holding. The words were hard, but she tried anyway.
“Right.” it was the only thing she could manage. “Things can wait then, I…that’s more…she needs her time.” what was received in response was the pair in front of her staring downward, offering the softest hums before any words.
“Take a seat, specialist,” was what broke the silence, from Liara as she nodded her over. “I think we all need a drink.”
–xxx–
In the past few hours, she knew she hadn’t moved. Sitting at the table, it had become her usual spot prior to her incarceration, but she was anything but her usual poised self. Delilah had spent so many hours of her life in the seat, leaning back against it, hands clasped against the table, listening to stories, smiling and laughing, enjoying such small pleasantries with the man who had called the room home. She could still imagine him sitting there, but that just led to more; the stories and memories she was fascinated if not heartbroken by, the careful cuddling for some silly movie she insisted he needed to see, or even just laying in bed and having such oddly deep discussions at strangely late times when they couldn’t sleep. Every little thing, but what she missed most was the little name, his voice, Siha.
It was so different from now. Now, she lay with her arms across the table, face down so her cheek was to the cool metal, hair in her face.
Her body felt stiff, every joint aching, her eyes burning, but at least her tears were done. Now she was just blankly staring ahead of her, unsure really what to do. It was numbing, a strange feeling that bloomed in her chest and took control of her. Part of her knew that she should have known the day would come, as the moment she met Thane, she knew he was dying. This was all so silly. It was the gamble of loving a man who was living on borrowed time, a foot already in his grave. She knew that.
But it hadn’t lessened the blow. There was supposed to be a little more time, she was supposed to have something. The Alliance locking her away had taken time away from them, now this Cerberus lap dog had ended the idea of being able to catch up on any they could have even tried for. It was over, it was done with. There were no more chances.
Everything in the last day felt like it was on fast forward, playing with a blur. It hadn’t stopped going until she had been pulled from the hospital, almost dragged as her hand dropped his. She could still feel his fingers against her own, and wished so desperately they were there, that she could see him, feel him, have him there and that it was all some sick nightmare. But part of her tried to remember that maybe it was more merciful than a slow death, maybe it was better, and she was just being selfish to some degree. She was being selfish, and it didn’t stop her in any regard.
“It’s a little funny,” she spoke to herself, picking up her head to rest her chin on the table. Staring ahead of her, it would usually have met her with the glimpse of him, smiling down at her. “I thought the worst of this was the Reapers, what else had been taken from me.” It felt she could no longer count it on even her two hands, the amount of people she was losing, and it just continued. “But Cerberus, as if they don’t do enough damage…if I ever get my hands on that man…if I ever have him in front of me..” her words kept dying against her lips, trailing into silence.
“I’ll kill him, Thane, I will. And until I do, I’ll just do good for you.” She wanted to make Kai Leng suffer, but knew that would do nothing. It would be a death fitting for him, she knew. Until that day could come however, there was so much else to put her attention towards, even if that was just another top goal on her list. The Reapers were always number one, but now she had more to deal with when it came to Cerberus, and she had personal dealings with Kolyat.
There was no reason for her to step into his life where she was not welcome, she was truthfully nobody to him. But with his father’s death, there had been such a short discussion on just conversation, for the two people who knew him. That seemed fine enough, maybe that was something good. It also meant in a world falling apart, Delilah could try her best to keep an eye on him, and she would be damned if anything happened to him.
It all felt like an unspoken, unmade promise she needed to keep, and she would do anything to do so.
Rolling herself back to sit up, she sighed, folding her hands in front of her. For a long moment she stared, before her gaze fell to the table. Thinking about it, she had invited him to the ship before their next departure, just something for conversation considering they had never really spoken in depth before then. Which meant depending on time, she needed to clean herself up. Another promise to keep, so even had she not wanted to move, she needed to. It was the kick she needed.
Pushing herself to her feet, the chair scraped against the floor with a sound she detested. Delilah gave a stretch and rolled her shoulders, popping her neck, and pushed her hair from her face, before heaving a breath.
“EDI, time?”
“It is currently a quarter until sixteen hundred, Commander.”
Offering a hum, she nodded an unseen thanks before draping something on the chair behind her and heading for the door. Holding her arms around her, Delilah left his jacket behind.