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The meeting at the wall of Eden was not the first time that Crawley had seen the angel. They had actually met in Heaven, long before the First Holy War happened and demons came into existence. Before he had become a demon. And although Aziraphale’s mind was wiped before he was sent to guard the eastern gate and Crawley lost memories of his time as an angel, the remnants of their first moments together could be felt even still during their conversation on the wall.
It was just like any other time in Heaven. Before it became the place it is now, it was a warm and gentle place, filled with the heavenly bodies of angels. Everything was quite literally perfect, as it was intended to be. And the archangel Crawley was enjoying passing away time by walking through the infinite space that is Heaven. He had been created for a purpose, to create and make precious things for what God was calling the “universe”. So far, he had crafted and perfected what he called, “stars”. Beautiful balls of light spread all over the vast darkness that was space, a way to bring light to an empty void. He had been particularly proud of them, and God was proud of them too, filling his essence with an unexplainable joy at seeing his creation. It felt indescribable to be caressed by the goodness that was God’s love and praise. He understood why the other angels worked so hard for Her.
Speaking of the other angels, Crawley found himself being particularly shy around him. He would usually keep his distance from any other wandering angels, and keep to himself. It’s not that he was afraid of them, per se, he just preferred to be by himself with his stars to keep him company. But on this particular day, he was caught by surprise. He was just walking through a golden meadow bathed in sunlight when he caught sight of an angel nearby a clearing of trees. He quickly moved in front of a tree and peeked out from the side at the new angel. What he saw made his eyes grow wide with fascination.
In front of him, illuminated in the glen by a clear ray of sunshine, was the most beautiful angel he had ever seen. He was smiling and his bright blue eyes were watching a pair of brilliant white birds circle each other in the air right above him. His curly white hair was bouncing around as he followed their movements, turning in circles with his arms outstretched. He looked so carefree and sweet as the birds slowly descended back down into the angel’s outstretched arms. He brought them up to his face and giggled as they rubbed up against his soft cheek and flapped their wings.
As Crawley watched the scene unfold in front of him, he found himself clutching at his chest, feeling his heartbeat like never before. He suddenly felt very warm, and his cheeks heated up across his face. He clutched at his cheeks with his hands, feeling the new sensation with curiosity and a little fear. This had never happened to him before. He felt like his insides were melting but in the best way possible. It was very confusing.
All his moving, however, caught the eye of the angel, and at the same moment that Crawley looked back up at him, the angel turned to look him in his eyes. As they gazed at each other, the angel slowly smiled at him and waved his hand. Crawley’s face went even hotter, and after a moment, he returned the small wave cautiously. The angel, watching him with curiosity, beckoned him forward with a wave of his hand. Crawley slowly stepped closer, until he felt the sunshine caress his skin as he fully stepped out into the clearing. He slowly made his way over to the angel, who at the same time, was watching him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement on his face.
As soon as he was close enough, the angel went back to petting the beautiful white birds in his arms and mumbling to them in a soft voice. Crawley watched him with fondness growing in his heart. He felt warm and tingly all over, watching this mysterious angel sweetly touch and praise these birds. Eventually, the angel looked back at Crawley, and gently reached out and presented the birds to Crawley in his outstretched arms. Crawley hesitated for a moment, waiting for the other angel to say something. All the other angel did, however, was smile at him and gesture that he pick up a bird. Carefully, Crawley reached out and slowly took one of the birds in his hands. He brought it to his chest and inspected the creature up close. It was beautiful, with bright white wings and soft feathers. It reminded him of the other angel, and his soft white curls adorning his face. He could feel the other angel watching him and he finally looked up and met the other angel’s awaiting gaze.
“What is it?” he asked softly.
The angel smiled and went back to stroking the other bird in his hand. “I call it a “dove”,” he replied, “It’s my new creation.”
Crawley smiled as he felt this angel’s honey-sweet voice wash over him. He looked back at the little creature in his hands and watched as it softly preened its feathers and looked at him with big, black eyes. Dove… it suited it perfectly somehow.
“Watch.” the angel said suddenly, making Crawley look up at him. The angel held his arms low for a second before flinging them up into the air and letting go of the little bird in his hands. Crawley watched in fascination as it circled in the air and glided around the glen. The other angel met his gaze and pointed to the bird in his hands. Crowley suddenly felt a bit nervous but, not wanting to disappoint this angel, he carefully tossed the creature into the air, just as he had seen the other angel too.
Soon enough, the two white doves had found each other in the air and were back to circling each other and dipping back and forth. Crawley thought they looked like they were dancing together, a movement so fluid and beautiful, he believed it to be practiced. Slowly, he moved his gaze to the other angel. He still had his eyes trained on the doves in the air, watching them intently with a small smile on his face. Crawley watched him for a moment or two until the other angel suddenly looked back at him. Crawley watched as a beaming smile spread across his face, and he managed to give him back a soft smile of his own.
The moment was broken, however, when the voice of another angel sounded in the distance shouting, “Aziraphale!”. They both turned to the sound, and Crawley turned back to watch as the other angel’s face turned instantly into a look of dread. The other angel glanced back at him and gave him a small apologetic smile. Crawley gave him a hesitant smile in return and watched as the angel turned around and made his way to the source of the noise. However, before he stepped back into the cover of the trees, he looked back at Crawley one more time and gave him a little wave goodbye. Crawley stood there in the glen and shyly returned his wave before watching him disappear. After a minute or so, he looked back up into the air to discover that the doves were gone.
Crawley wouldn’t be able to find the angel again before the whole of Heaven was split apart by the Holy War and he was cast out of Heaven’s warm embrace. After he became a demon, his memories faded and he could only recall glimpses of what his life used to be before the Fall. He slowly learned that it was better to forget than to remember. Remembering only added to the emptiness that was left behind in Heaven. So for a long time, he pushed away any memories and fleeting thoughts of his past life.
That was, until one fateful day in the garden. Crawley had just finished his assignment, tempting the new “humans” into eating the forbidden fruit, thus casting them out of the goodness of God’s grace and into the harsh new “Earth”. He was walking around the garden, watching all of the life around him with a newfound curiosity. He was walking past a particular set of trees when he saw them. A pair of beautiful white birds, dancing in the wind. He watched them loop and twirl around each other, catching the wind on their brilliant white wings. He was suddenly struck with the oddest feeling that reminded him so much of Heaven. A warmth he had almost forgotten spread in his chest, a tiny flickering flame that burned against the emptiness of his demonic soul. And as he watched the two birds in the air, he clutched at his heart, gentle tears streaming down his face. A memory surfaced in his mind, hazy and half-forgotten. He tried to grasp onto it, but as soon as it was there, he felt it slip from his fingers. However, one word burned in his mind, Doves. They were called doves.
He watched the two doves float away in the breeze, wondering how he knew their name. At that same moment, they drifted past the wall of the garden, and his eyes suddenly focused on something in the distance. A bright, white blurred figure was standing on the top of the wall. He squinted and saw a pair of big, bright wings stretched out on either side of what he now assumed was an angel. As he got closer, he saw a patch of curly white hair attached to the figure, who was watching the outside of the wall with an etch of concern on his otherwise serene face. Although he was an angel, and all of Crawley’s demon instincts told him to stay away, he found himself drawn to the figure on the top of the wall. He felt a strange sense of familiarness as he continued to look at him from afar. He smiled suddenly as a thought appeared in his mind, clear as day,
His hair looks like the wings of a dove.