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It’s been a while since you’ve heard from him, several hours have passed and there has been no request for you, no messages, no nothing. You were growing concerned and decided to make the trek upstairs to the large room with wide windows along the back wall that sat as the Mand’alor seat of office. There was more than one reason to be nervous as you approached the hallway leading to the large door. It wasn’t the armed guards staring at you as you passed, well, there was that, and that the door was open and you could hear voices from within. Great, you’d have to pass the disapproving eyes of Prime Minister Almec as well. That still wasn’t the worst of it. No, you were afraid of Lord Maul turning you away today. You didn’t think you could deal with it after the day you’d had. Ever since this morning things had just not been right, mistakes made that weren’t even really your fault being blamed on you, decisions you made causing rifts between people you thought were your friends… and of course the fact that you’d not even heard from him in a long while.
It shouldn’t matter really but, you were more than just one of his underlings now, weren’t you? There was something between the two of you, something unspoken but definitely real. It was evident in the way he spoke to you, the way he would look to you when making announcements, the way he would show you a semblance of compassion. Even Lord Savage made time for you, and his usual stoic expression became a smile when no one else was around.
It had been a long time to get to this point. You didn’t really know how it had started, how you had first gained his attention. In battle? When you were talking about upcoming plans? By chance maybe? Maybe it was that week you were one of his bodyguards, as it happened you knew a bit about the local language and were able to step in and warn Lord Maul that the man he was dealing with planned to betray him. You assumed he knew that, considering the powers he had, though you didn’t know how they worked. The specific information proved useful and you were able to ensure the operation was a success.
From there you’d seen him more often, and there were the times you’d looked up to see his eyes on you. Golden, glowing eyes that seemed to see right through you. No matter what you did or where you went. He seemed to notice how you watched everyone, how you noticed little things, how you were able to anticipate behaviours, read people. He seemed to deem that as a useful skill, taking you as one of the people he conferred with. Once you were just a warrior, now you were his Captain and there were privileges you were afforded. One of them being that you were able to visit him in the office
Now you stood at the door with a small grimace and a pounding heart, you could see Almec speaking in low tones facing Maul as the zabrak leaned over his desks, leaning on his fists. He was in complete control, silhouetted against the windows beyond, looking threatening, intimidating… gorgeous. The conversation stopped and his golden gaze flicked to you as you raised a hand to knock at the door frame. His eyes always managed to knock the breath out of you and you found yourself unable to speak. There was a long pause as Maul regarded you with a quiet consideration and as Almec turned to see what the Mand’alor was looking at, he gestured with his head to enter. You dropped your chin slightly as you entered, though glared through your brows at Almec who did not hide his disdainful look. There was a tension that built in the room as you moved to stand beside Maul’s large desk as opposed to opposite it like the Prime Minister did.. Almec watched you with narrowed eyes until his attention returned to Lord Maul. The Prime Minister seemed startled to see the deep scowl on the crimson zabrak’s features, you hid a smile at the little jolt he gave. With just a look Maul could have anyone running scared. It would be a lie to say it did not frighten you. And another to say it did not also cause heat to bloom in your belly. There was just something so… delicious about it.
“Dismissed,” was all he rasped, and his tone left no room for protest. Almec excused himself with a bow and retreated. He was at least clever enough to close the door behind him. You were left alone in the room with the former Sith and your hands squeezed each other where they were clasped in front of you. At first he said nothing and you slowly turned to face him, you weren’t able to look at him yet.The feeling of heat had not abated but now it travelled upward to flush your ears and base of your neck. Sith hells, your whole body felt hot.
“You are upset,” he began, it was not a question.
“Yes,” you replied honestly, with a nod.
“You are embarrassed,” he added and again you nodded. The next question unspoken but obvious.
“I… I have had a bad day, and if you have the time, could I… I don’t know, help you? Or… you could just talk.” you shrug, embarrassment burning the back of your neck now and creeping higher.
“Talk?” he repeated, sounding confused.
“Ye-yeah… it will help distract me,” you nod, fully expecting to tell you to not waste his time. After a moment, you are surprised when he obliges you, even if he does not understand your purpose behind the request. He gestured to a chair and took a seat himself at his desk, he spoke of his current plan, and his task that he found dull, reading reports and assessing candidates to stand as ambassadors of Mandalore in the Senate. He spoke vaguely of his own history and suffering, lamenting about how unfair life was, and of course you knew this too. You wholeheartedly agreed but you dare not say anything, lest he stop talking. Listening to the dulcet tones of his voice was soothing, and you felt much of your tension slowly melting away as he spoke, probably more than he was used to. Though that fact was not lost on you and you were immensely grateful that he would humour you on this. Eventually, of course, he dwindled into a more comfortable quiet.
“You seem more relaxed now,” he observed. Though your embarrassment returned a little.
“Ah, yes,” you nod. You ducked your head and looked away, you had been staring again, watching his lips as he spoke, the angle of his strong nose, gaze trailing his jaw as you tried not to get too carried away. Was his skin hot to the touch? You imagined so though you had no knowledge first hand. “I… knew I would be if I talked to you, so, thank you,” you absolutely stumbled through that sentence and you felt your neck heat up again.
“Did you?” he asked, a small amount of amusement on his face. Oh he sounded so hot when he was smug, did he not know what he did to you? You were sure you were about to combust.
“I… well alright, I am aware of how stupid this will sound–” you began, grimacing as you leaned forward, elbows on your knees, “but… your voice is really soothing.” There. You said it. There was silence. So you looked up from where you were staring at your hands. He was staring at you blankly as though you’d said something in gibberish. It was so unsettling that more words just came tumbling out of your mouth unbidden. “It’s… well it’s been comforting to spend time with you. I always seem to feel better after we talk,” It was the highlight of your day and if you were honest you counted the minutes until you could see him again, “ you’re… you’re…” He seemed to find your flustered state abusing and his long gloved fingers laced together in front of his face as his elbows rested on the desk.
“I’m… what?” he asked with a slight tilt of his head.
“You’re beautiful,” you blurted. This was not how you had wanted to have this conversation with him, but apparently this was it. He looked disbelieving and a slight frown crossed his beautiful features. “You are,” you insist, “your tattoos are incredible, eye catching, stunning…! Your red skin is breathtaking, your horns are a perfect crown and– and your eyes are just–” you made a vague gesture toward him, running out of words to describe the way he looked to you. He was still staring.
“If this is some kind of jest–” he began and you found your feet, hands up in a placating gesture.
“No! Never! I wouldn’t joke about this, you– you really are…” you hoped he would understand, though as he stood you feared that once again you’d said too much, and let your big mouth get you into trouble. He loomed over where you stood and this time danger prickled up your spine as well as the heat of your own awkwardness. Your head and shoulders drooped and you awaited the searing pain of his saber for your insolence, or maybe worse, his harsh hiss of displeasure as he told you to leave and never return. Your heart couldn’t take it. Did he not believe you?
“Why?” it was a flat, unemotional question and you didn’t know what to say. Did you tell him the truth?
“Do you really not know?” You whisper, staring at the floor. Even you could feel the rapid shift of energies in the room. You felt your heart beating in your throat. There was no follow up question and you were about to turn to go, flee the room with your heart in tatters and before you embarrassed yourself anymore than you already had –when a gloved hand reached out to tip your chin upwards, a silent question in his eyes as he looked at you. Your heart seized, when had he gotten so close? Before you could stop yourself, you suddenly stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him, pressing yourself against his chest. He was stiff and still, you could barely feel him breathe as you hugged him tight. He didn’t accept you in, nor did he push you away so you stayed right there, holding him against you. The scent of him in your nostrils was incredible, and you were right, he was so very warm. You never wanted to let go, never wanted to leave this one spot. Slowly– so slowly, his arms moved, shifting until his hands, the elegant large hands rested at your back. You only held him tighter.
“Why…?” he repeated, this time a soft whisper against your hair.
“You know…” you mumbled into his neck. He had to know. Of course he did.
“Tell me,” he replied. You’d never heard his voice so soft before.
“I love you,” you breathe, barely audible. But from the way his arms tensed around you, you knew he heard it. You’d longed to be here, in these strong arms, to be held like this. He didn’t reply but he didn’t need to. He wasn’t pushing you away, and of course such emotions would be hard, given what he has mentioned of his past. It wasn’t a lot, but he had said enough for you to understand. He didn’t know how beautiful he was… but you were more than happy to spend as much time as he would allow you, to show him.