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You’ve not minded the traffic lights before. The red light rarely annoys you. After all, it is an important tool for everyone’s safety. But this evening, as that red shines in your car, it makes your already boiling blood gush in your veins. It gets you fuming, the same way a red cloth does to a bull in all of those comic books.
You’ve never wished for a weekend to be over as much as you do tonight. Sunday has never felt this long and you’re almost looking forward to a Monday morning and getting back to the safety of your regular life and routines.
You’d been out of town since Friday noon, going to see your family and relatives. To many, that’s a lovely way to spend a weekend; to you it was a dreaded nightmare. The “funny” jokes from your racist uncle and snarky comments from your aunt who’s always on a new diet. Judgment from your mother’s cousin and pity from their partner. Only thinking back to it makes you squeeze the steering wheel, blood draining under your grip, making your knuckles all white.
It was supposed to be a cheerful event: your nephew’s second birthday, but you knew it would be everything but that. It always is when it comes to your family. Your family had been begging for you to come over, and of course you wanted to be there for your incredible little nephew. But the moment you stepped through the door, it was like you didn’t exist unless someone needed something from you.
Of course Aaron had offered to come with you, he’d hate for you to go through it all alone. But you’d insist on him staying home with Jack and enjoying his time off. That was in no shape or form because you didn’t want him to come or that you are ashamed of your fiance. But you are beyond embarrassed by your family’s behavior and you don’t want to put him through it.
You know they take every opportunity they can to make mean comments about anyone and anything just for the excitement of it. Aaron and Jack have gone through enough of that already, without your family making comments about him being 15 years older than you and widowed. Or of you, not being Jack’s mother and you should quit acting like one, even if you’ve been in the boy’s life for the majority of it and he loves calling you Momma. There’s absolutely no need for added pain and sadness.
Aaron wasn’t happy to stay behind but he respects your space. But he made it extra clear that he’d be there in a heartbeat if you needed him. He always is. No matter the time or place, you know you’d be able to call him. Since Friday evening, you’ve wanted to call him and ask him to come and save you. But instead, you cried on the phone with him but told him that you will be alright and it’s just a lot of mixed feelings taking over you.
After endless red lights and street signs you’ve seen a million times before, you turn to your driveway and neatly park your car next to Aaron’s. It’s late, but if you’re lucky, you’ll be on time to say good night to your favorite little boy, who’s bedtime is just around the corner.
You take your bag from the back seat and close the door gently. Across the street lives your lovely neighbor Hilda. She can be a bit nosy and so damn chatty, but you know she means well. But right now, you really wish to not see her, so making as little noise outside as possible, the better.
And for your luck, you make it to your front door without having her come out at hers. But as you take a glimpse back, you see her by her kitchen window, waving lazily at you. Biting the inside of your cheek, you wave your hand at her and push your front door open, hoping to avoid further contact with her tonight.
As you close the front door, having made it inside safely without talking to Hilda first, you’re surprised by how quiet the house is. Especially as the lights are still on, implying that Jack is still up with his dad. There’s sound coming from the tv, and you navigate your way to it.
You’re about to call for Jack or Aaron, but as you make it to the living room, you’re glad you’ve kept your mouth shut. You see your fiance asleep on the couch, with his head on the pillows you’ve chosen. He’s laying on his back and his long arms are tightly wrapped around his precious little boy, who is also fast asleep. Jack’s light, soft hair was partly on Aaron’s face, but it didn’t seem to bother either of them.
You go to turn off the tv. Apparently your boys have been watching ‘Finding Nemo’ for the hundredth time. You’ve learned to recognize the movie even from the credits that are rolling on the screen. As the screen goes dark and the faint music ends, Aaron flinches awake.
“Just me” you whisper soothingly, a wide smile forming on your lips as you meet his eyes “just me”.
His hands remain around his son, who’s snoring adorably on his chest. “Welcome home, sweetheart” he greets you gently. Only the sight of him makes your heart feel warm. You kneel down next to him and kiss him, both of you trying your best not to wake up the little one.
It always amazes you how he’s able to get up from the sofa, hold his son secured in his arms and not wake him up. It’s some kind of a dad talent, you’re sure. You lead his way to Jack’s bedroom and get everything prepared, so he’s able to just safely lay Jack down on his bed. The moment his fluffy hair hits the pillow, the boy continues his snores, implying Aaron’s sweet success of keeping him asleep. You tuck him in as Aaron kisses his forehead gently, like he does every single night.
After him, you lean in to kiss the top of his head as well. Your hand brushes on his hair so lightly, you don’t mean to sabotage Aaron’s hard attempt of keeping him in the dreamland. But you just needed to feel him there, even if it’s just for a second. You never realized how much you could love a little boy, until you met Jack. You treat him like your own son, but you never intend to replace his mother. Haley will always hold a special place in both of the Hotchner’s hearts. And to her you are thankful and you’ve promised her you will take good care of them for her.
Aaron gently grasps your hand and leads you towards the hallway. He makes sure Jack’s night light is on before he closes the door. And the moment it clicks shut, he pulls you into a tight hug. You hadn’t realized how much you had needed to feel his arms around you, but the moment the warmth of him surrounded you, everything started to make sense again.
Your cheek against his warm chest makes the pain from your weekend fade away. His hands soothingly running on your back make all the mean words sting less until they’re the furthest things in your mind.
What the Hotchners have taught you is that family is most certainly not the same thing as blood. Blood is what makes you related, care and love are what makes you family. And ever since you met Aaron, it’s become more and more clear to you. The care and understanding he’s shown you, no matter your flaws or imperfections, is beyond what you’ve ever seen before. And through him, you’ve met amazing people and gotten so many friends. His team has become more of a family to you than what your blood relatives have ever felt.
“I’m glad to be home” you tell him before he leans in to kiss you, properly this time. Your boys are where your heart is and where it will always be. You can’t wait to officially become a Hotchner as well.