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The waiter raises an eyebrow at Kagura's order, but the restaurant is expensive enough that he doesn't comment.
"You're lucky they even let you in the door in that dress, China. It doesn't suit you." Okita flicks some lint off his shoulder.
"You're lucky they let you in with that face," Kagura retorts.
He rolls his eyes. "What's does that even mean?"
"If you don't know, that's your fault. I don't need to explain things to idiots." Kagura crosses her arms and sits back in the chair while a busboy comes to refill their wine. Kagura looks at it curiously.
"In any case, you'd better make it worth my time." Okita sips his own. "Not to mention my money."
"I'm not doing anything like that!" Kagura scowls. "Wait, what are we even doing here? I didn't agree to this!"
Okita sets his wine down. "Come to think of it, me either. I assumed you conned me into it."
Kagura stands up, slamming her hands on the table. The wine glasses slosh and Okita reaches to catch his. "Oh no, I know what's going on here! Some shipper is forcing us into something perverted! I bet she hasn't even seen more than a few episodes of the anime!"
"Don't you think that's going a bit far?" Okita says, leaning forward to set his chin in his hand. "Don't think so much of yourself."
"Then you explain it! There's no way I'd come out to dinner with a sadist like you otherwise!"
"Well, there's definitely no way I'd bring a brat like you to a place like this when I know how much you eat." Okita says, looking around thoughtfully.
"See! I'm telling you," Kagura says, "Something's going on."
"Alright. So what do you want to do about it?"
Just then, the waiter appears with the first few trays of their dinner.
"...Well. I might as well get some food out of it."
Much later, after Kagura has finished eating, the waiter brings out their check. Even Okita boggles at it. "I don't have this much money!"
The waiter doesn't bat an eye. "I'm obliged to inform you that the bill will be waived under... certain circumstances."
Even sedated by food, Kagura is suddenly wary. "What circumstances?"
"I'm afraid I need you to kiss." The waiter says with polite regret.
"What! No way! No part of me is ever touching that sadist's lips except my fist!"
Okita looks considering, and reaches across the table. "Here."
"What, bastard? I'm not getting you out of a man's commitments just because we were both forced into this!"
Okita sighs and catches her hand anyway. It's balled into a fist, but he brings it to his lips before she can react. He kisses her knuckles gently, tongue flicking across and dipping lightly into the gaps.
It's only a second, but it's too long for Kagura before she snatches her hand away, eyes wide, and takes a swing for real. Her punch catches him against the jaw, and he reels back. "Ow."
"Serves you right, pervert!"
Okita wipes the welling blood from his lip and turns to the waiter. "Good enough?"
The waiter pauses, then answers. "I suppose we can make do."
They spent the rest of the evening at Okita's place, making do in their own way.
"No we did not!"