Chapter Text
And God said "Let there be light ;)" as he sent his young son jesus to earth. jesus was an alien from the distant planet of heaven. he would somehow be born to mary and joseph.
==TIMESKIP XDD :3=
it was 2015. shinji ikari was going to visit his homophobic dad, gendou. gendou was like -_- @ shinji ever since he came out as being bisexual. gendou said "NO SON OF MINE WILL BE BI!! GET OUTTA MY SWAMP!!!" and he kicked shinji out of the house
but now for some reason, gendou wanted him to visit. shinji packed his bags. he brought his clothes, his wallet, a toothbrush (???), some food, a juice box, and condoms (A/N: JUST IN CASE!!!)
he boarded the train with his bags and looked out the window. there were ANGELS outside. then he wondered why the train hadnt started, so he peeked out another window.
outside was a rugged man with a long beard and cool hair. shinji felt scared.
he knew this guy. he was jesus christ, the son of god. shinji didnt know what he'd do if jesus spoke to him. he'd never really thought of any scenario where jesus christ met him.
"is this seat... taken?" jesus said, smiling.
"why... no, its not" shinji was flustered
"thanks... shinji :)" jesus smirked. the small boy next to him was flushed red. he seemed to grow a brighter red color when jesus said his name.
shinji was a devout christian ever since 1st grade when a christian exchange student studied with him and told him all about gods sacrifices for our world.
"s-senpai... i need your guidance. im going to see my father, gendou ikari, but im not sure what to say to him! its been like, 2 years since i was kicked out of our house, so i dont know why he wants me" shinji didnt know why he was spilling all of this to jesus, but he thought that they would work out a solution to this problem together. usually teamwork helps solve issues better.
jesus took a moment to process all of this information before he spoke again.
"shinji ikari... i will accompany you to your fathers house 0:~)>"
"r-REALLY?" shinji screamed. he couldnt belive THE Jesus Christ (savior of america) was coming to his house. er, his dads house XD
"im being sincere, shinji" jesus hadnt died on the cross to not meet shinji. he was ecstatic to find him so quickly. he would be needed in the master plan. Jesus' World Domination plan.
he'd started working on this plan for thousands of years. it was truly a mystery how hed come so far so fast. christianity was in almost every place imaginable. spread by faithful apostles and loyal prophets to even places that had no need for jesus, you could be a christian anywhere. of course, most people dont care. however, jesus thought this was his greatest attempt of world takeover.
jesus snapped out of his diabolic scheme of takeover to see what was happening at that moment.
shinji was sleeping against jesus' arm, and he looked extremely cute.
jesus took shinjis hand in his and felt his cheeks fo red. falling for a young japanese christian boy was not in his agenda. however, hed accomodate to his needs. maybe shinji could help him, in a way. shinji would be the public image (even thou jesus was already the mascot for christianity) shinji would be the co-host of the religion. holy shit.
suddenly the train stopped. shinji woke up in Shock. he had sLEPT on JESUS CHRIST, son of god.
"s-sorry. i just couldnt help it. riding on the train always makes me so tired!"
"its okay shinji. i get tired on the train too" jesus took shinjis bags and carried them to the NERV building.
shinji was bringing jesus christ to meet his father for the very first time in his life... O_o HoW sCaRy!!! :o)
To Be CoNtInUeD sOoN!!!