Chapter Text
Katsuki Bakugou was not the kind of person you would expect to see when walking into a florist. Much less the kind of person to be standing behind the counter, explaining how the colors of the chrysanthemums in your bouquet communicate different emotions. He knew that, and he didn’t give a flying fuck. If anyone wanted to comment on his career choices they could go home with a bouquet shoved up their ass.
Katsuki was currently seconds away from doing that exact thing.
One of his least favorite parts of his job was dealing with pathetic people like the man in front of him. This bastard had cheated on his girlfriend and wanted the biggest bouquet in the store to give to her. As if size mattered with flowers. Where was the emotion? The feeling? What a prick.
“I want to show her how sorry I am, and the bigger the better, you know?” the man was saying. Katsuki had to bite his tongue to avoid making a snide remark. Racoon Eyes would kill him if he lost another customer because of his big mouth.
“Yes, of course. Our largest bouquet costs about 75,000 yen,” Katsuki said, feeling sweet satisfaction at the face the man-made.
“Se-seventy five thousand? Um, maybe she would prefer chocolates after all…” the man muttered, turning to leave.
Katsuki was not about to lose any business, no matter how annoying the customer. “Our smaller bouquets are only 2,500 yen. You can pick the flowers yourself or have an employee make the arrangement. If you would like, I can put together something fitting.”
“Well, alright. I guess that’ll work," he said dismissively.
Silently fuming, Katsuki set to work, grinning with wicked glee once his back was to the customer. Oh, he would make a fitting bouquet. Very fitting.
He would make the bouquet with hydrangeas as the main focus. The message of hydrangeas may be one of peace and grace, but they were the quickest flower to wilt.
He then added a few yellow daffodils, which often represented unrequited love. Katsuki felt that was fairly accurate, given that this man seemed awfully ignorant and unfaithful. If that girl had any brains, the man's love would be very one-sided.
As the final blow, Katsuki added an aconite. The pink blossom may have seemed innocent and pretty, with its soft and round petals, but anyone with sense knew that it symbolized hatred and caution. He had to hold back a cackle. Not only was each flower lousy, but the three flowers clashed horribly. Not only were the colors a bland mixture, but the sizes and shapes of the plants made it look crowded and clunky.
“Here you go, sir.” Katsuki handed the man the bouquet, received the payment, then watched with pride as it was taken out into the world.
Mina suddenly appeared at his shoulder, making him jump. He still hasn't figured out how someone so noisy could be so stealthy.
“Making passive-aggressive flower arrangements again, are we?” she remarked.
“What’re you talking about, ya pink prick?”
“An aconite? Really?” Mina smirked.
“It’s a pretty flower,” Katsuki continued bullshitting, even though he knew Mina enjoyed the petty bouquet.
Mina rolled her eyes, but she was grinning. “I guess I’ll have to let it slide, just this once."
She pulled her phone out of the abnormally large pocket that her pink overalls had on the front and sighed. "Have you seen Sero? Delivery boy needs to go make some deliveries but he won't answer my texts. There’s a wedding downtown that I’ve spent the last three hours making bouquets for, and I need him to hurry up and get them over there or our Yelp rating might go down."
“Why the fuck should I know? That bastard is probably off monkeying around with the Pikachu-looking loser at his hippie store. And I've told you a million times to stop giving a shit about that stupid fucking website. If those bastards rate us anything below five stars, they're fucking stupid.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. And you’re probably right about Sero. Do you mind holding down the fort while I go yell at him?”
“What, you think I can’t handle it?”
Mina just laughed and left. Despite his attitude, Katsuki had to admit that he was grateful to be able to run this business with her, and even Sero. He never would have thought there would be a day when he wanted to be around those idiots. He hadn't even considered them friends in high school until his third year, yet here he was.
Katsuki waited impatiently for another customer, but business was unusually slow this afternoon, despite it being the weekend. He fiddled with the obnoxious bobblehead that sat on the desk. Sero had gotten it for him as a joke and it now lived permanently next to the register.
Mina stormed back in a few minutes later, running her hand through her pale pink hair.
"Let me guess. He's not there?" Katsuki grumbled.
"Nope, and neither is Kaminari. The girl working there said it's Kami's lunch break, so the two of them are off who knows where."
Mina's expression changed from frustration to her signature puppy-dog eyes. Somehow the excessive amount of eyeshadow she wore only made them more effective. "Katuskiiii-"
"Nope. Absolutely not. I don't do deliveries," Bakugou refused. He was Katsuki fucking Bakugou. He wasn't going to be persuaded by her dumbass antics.
—
Katsuki hated those fucking puppy-dog eyes.
He mumbled curses the whole time he drove. The wedding was being held in a church a half-hour drive from the shop, meaning that Bakugou would be doing this shit for at least an hour.
The worst part about doing deliveries was that he had to drive the flower van. It wasn't the fact that Katsuki had to drive a vehicle with flowers printed on the side, nor was it the fact that the van used up too much fucking gas. No, the worst part was that he wasn't allowed to blast music in the van. Apparently, it was "bad for business" to be playing rock music at full volume while transporting flowers to customers.
So Katsuki played his music on what Mina had determined to be an acceptable volume, which for him was a pathetic amount. If you could hear your own thoughts, the music was too quiet.
When he arrived at the church, he had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting the man who had come running up to the van. If it wasn’t for his blindingly red hair, Katsuki would have become a new definition of “crashing a wedding.” Katsuki threw open the door, prepared to yell at the crazy person, but was stopped by the barrage of questions suddenly directed at him.
“Are you the flower delivery? What’s your name? Is that ACDC you’re listening to?” It took Katsuki a second to process what he was being asked.
“Yes, I’m the flower delivery,” Katsuki said, ignoring the other questions. What else would a flower van be delivering? Did he think he was delivering fucking nachos?
“Awesome! Let me help you bring those over. I’m Kirishima, by the way.”
“Bakugou,” he grumbled reluctantly. Noticing the confused look Shitty Hair gave him, he added, “My name, idiot.”
Fuck. Calling your customers idiots was a one-way ticket to a closed store.
“Oh! Right, of course,” Shitty Hair laughed. Katsuki quietly sighed in relief. People were so fucking stupid, and he had to somehow manage to refrain from insulting them. This guy and his shitty hairstyle were nearly impossible to avoid insulting. Honestly, though, who gels their hair in spikes like that?
Katsuki somehow succeeded in remaining marginally polite as he helped Shitty Hair unload the truck. Confusion helped, as he started spewing some shit about how Katsuki’s music taste seemed extremely manly. Despite the fact that this shitty-haired man seemed obsessed with “manliness”, he didn’t seem to care that Katsuki was a florist.
"Is this all of them?" Shitty Hair asked, muscles in his arms rippling as he lifted the final box.
"Obviously," Katsuki replied. "Van's fucking empty."
"Okay, well, thank you!" Shitty Hair said cheerfully, turning sharply on his heels and back towards the church. "See you later, man!"
I fucking hope not, Katsuki grumbled internally, climbing back into the flower van and turning up his music again. He did not have room for any more of this weird smiley idiot in his life.