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Remus left Sirius and James at the bar talking with Madam Rosmerta, excited to escape to his home for a quiet night in for a bit of reading and an early bedtime. Sirius gave him a wet kiss on the cheek and James mirrored the gesture on his other cheek, waving him off with a loud laugh and a promise to see him later. After only one drink, he apparated home without issue, changing into soft lounge pants and a bigger sweater, thick socks, and curling up on his sofa with his latest read, tossing a well-worn blanket over his lap to stay warm.
He was immersed in the story, so he jumped when, two hours later, there was a knock at the door. It was still early for Sirius and James to call it a night and anyway, they didn’t live together anymore. He assumed Sirius would try and fall into Remus’ bed tonight anyway - he always liked a good cuddle after a night of drinking - but he had a key and… well, they were wizards afterall.
The knocking continued so Remus got up and draped the blanket around his shoulders, tossed his book onto the coffee table, and shuffled sleepily to the door, opening it to reveal James Potter with his fist raised, knocking the air where the door used to be. His wide eyes blinked slowly at the realization and then he smiled wide at Remus.
“Let me in, will you?”
“Wha- well, I-”
James brushed past him, stumbling a bit. He shut the door behind himself and walked into the living room. Remus huffed and followed behind him.
“No offense, mate, but shouldn’t you be home with Lily?”
“Where’s Sirius?” James asked.
“What?”
“You and Sirius left me at the bar!”
“No,” Remus said slowly. “I left you and Sirius at the bar two hours ago. You were talking with Madam Rosmerta and I said I was going home and you said you’d see me later.”
“That doesn’t sound like me. Are you sure that was me?” James asked, struggling to take off his coat, his limbs extra wiggly. “That doesn’t sound like Sirius, are you sure that was Sirius?”
“Yes, I’m-”
“Well I’ve lost him then,” James announced and twisted around, patting his waist searchingly. “And my wand! I’ve lost my wand!”
“Jesus,” Remus grumbled, walking further into the flat toward the kitchen. James followed him.
“Oh, this is horrible!” James lamented. “The worst thing! You know how Sirius gets when he drinks - very, very, very -”
Remus forced a glass of water in his friend’s hand.
“Very, very, very sad ,” James finished taking a big gulp. “We have to find him.”
“Yes, well, sober up.” Remus regrettably pulled the blanket off his shoulders and began folding it up. “When do you remember seeing him last?” he asked, walking out of the kitchen to find his boots.
“Oh, that’s a good question,” James followed, humming in thought and then he hiccupped. “Don’t laugh! We were- we were in the loo and I- Well, I’ve been having performance issues and-”
James didn’t have a filter sober and it was only enhanced with a few drinks in him.
“And so I just wanted a little confidence boost, y’know?” Remus swallowed down a laugh, turning away so he didn’t have to make eye contact with his friend. “And so, we compared- sizes and well you know Sirius is bigger than me-”
“ James .”
“Well it’s not the first time we-”
“ James ,” Remus groaned. “I’m begging you. Get to the point.”
James finished off his water and waved his hand around. “Well that’s the last I remember seeing him!”
“Okay.” Remus plucked the glass from James’ hands, went back into the kitchen to put it in the sink and then corralled his friend to the door. They shrugged on their coats, James complaining that Remus was moving too slow, and Remus grabbed James’ wrist, apparating them back to Hogsmeade. It was dangerous to be apparating under the influence, but the sidealong was better. James had already did it once solo tonight and Remus could have Lily scold him in the morning.
“Sirius!” James shouted as soon as his boots hit the cobblestone. Remus rolled his eyes and started walking toward the Three Broomsticks. “We’ll have to look under every bench! Every bush! He could be anywhere, Moony!”
“Let’s start at the bar first, yes?”
“Oh, that’s a good idea,” James whispered. “So smart, our Moony.”
Remus rolled his eyes again, taking James by the wrist so as not to lose him too, and walked through the doors up to Madam Rosmerta.
“‘Ello, boys, back already?” she said with a laugh.
“Not quite. James seems to have lost Sirius. Have you seen him?”
“No, sorry, love,” she said with a frown, thinking. “He walked out of here a little after this one did.”
“This is hopeless! ” James cried, wrenching out of Remus’ grip and rushing out the door.
“Thanks,” Remus called quickly, racing after his friend.
“Sirius!” James was yelling out on the street, head tilted back to the sky, eyes closed.
Remus huffed a laugh, shaking his head. They walked around Hogsmeade a bit and having still not found Sirius, they decided to go back to Remus’ flat. In all honesty, Remus thought Sirius would be fine; a little peeved about being left at the bar, but overall fine. He was probably already home, passed out in bed. If James were a bit more sober, Remus would have convinced him to go home and owl Sirius in the morning to apologize for leaving him, but…
James was distraught . He stormed into Remus’ flat, taking some parchment and a quill, starting to create a missing poster, which he mistakenly labeled with WANTED .
“He’s not wanted,” Remus said with a laugh.
“I want him!” James exclaimed.
The parchment gave Remus an idea and so he sat across from James and started to write a note to Sirius to owl him.
Sirius,
Come to my house. We’re worried. James is panicking .
Remus.
“I’m not panicking,” grumbled James, reading over his shoulder. He began pacing again, holding up his poster and critiquing his artistic skills. “Do you think I captured his likeness?” Remus didn’t reply, heading off to the kitchen window anss tapping it three times. His owl appeared within seconds, happily taking a treat and the note to Sirius before pushing through the window and flying through Remus’ flat into the open bathroom door. Of course .
“James?” Remus interrupted his constant stream of worrying.
“Yes?”
“I just owled Sirius.”
“Yes and?”
“And the owl is in my bath.”
“What?”
“Sirius is in the bath.”
James’ eyes widened at the realization and then he moved so fast, he tripped over a chair trying to get to the bathroom. “Sirius!”
Remus entered the bathroom to see Sirius laying fully dressed in the empty bathtub - thankfully he didn’t turn the water on - with the parchment over his face and an owl perched on the windowsill. Remus leaned over the bath to open the window for the owl to escape as James kneeled next to the bath crying to Sirius.
“Sirius! I lost you! Oh, he’s dead, Remus, he’s dead!”
“He’s not dead, James.”
Sure enough, Sirius stirred, lifting the parchment over his face and squinting at it a bit. He looked at the second bit of parchment, James’ wanted poster that tumbled into the bath when James fell to his knees, and he tilted his head, admiring the artwork.
“Who is this handsome man?” he rasped, sleepily.
“You! You, my friend! I would never draw you ugly,” James cried.
Sirius hummed, eyelids heavy, processing the words and then realizing who said it and his face fell. “You left me!”
“I didn’t mean to!” James wailed, standing up and reaching out to lift Sirius from the bath, but Sirius was dead weight and fell back. “Remus, Remus help me!”
Remus sighed heavily, he really wanted a quiet night in… He pushed James to the side and stepped into the bath behind Sirius, sitting him up, putting his hands under his armpits and lifting him up. Sirius was still complaining, stumbling out of the bath with Remus’ help, before tumbling toward the toilet and emptying his stomach into it. Remus held his hair back, waving James out of the room to make some room. It was times like these where Remus needed Pete, who was never one to get as drunk as James and Sirius. While the two boys were drunk singing in the dorm, Remus and Pete were the ones to sneak down to the kitchens for midnight munchies and a break from the chaos.
Remus rubbed Sirius’ back gently when he finished retching. “All done?” he murmured quietly. Sirius moaned in response and Remus cleaned up his mouth and the mess, helping him stand.
James had escaped to the living room and Sirius was holding out his lost wand. “My wand!”
“You left your wand,” Sirius stated obviously. “And me. ”
“I’m so sorry.”
Sirius hummed and was swaying a bit, Remus put both hands on his upper arms to steady him and Sirius turned around quickly, smiling wide. He fell forward into Remus, who instinctively wrapped his arms around his waist to catch him.
“Hello, good looking,” Sirius cooed. It was so unapologetically Sirius that Remus couldn’t help but laugh, and blush.
“Oi, no, no-” James waved his arms back and forth. “I love you both, but please -”
Sirius leaned in to kiss Remus, but Remus put a hand over his mouth, not in the mood for a post-vomit kiss. Sirius didn’t seem to mind, just switched gears, looking over at James. “You left me!”
Remus laughed again, leading Sirius over to the kitchen table to sit while he fixed him up with some water. James and Sirius continued to bicker, drunkenly trying to piece together when they last saw each other when Remus returned with the water, Sirius was convinced he had left him as well.
“I left you and James at the bar with Madam Rosmerta,” Remus explained again and Sirius’ eyes lit up.
He reached out to grab James’ chest and growled, “mad-am!”
“Did I touch them?” James whispered incredulously.
“Lily was there!” Sirius said happily in lieu of answering. The color drained from James’ face and Remus held back another laugh, reaching for Sirius’ leather jacket that was zipped up to his neck.
“Can I take this off you?”
Sirius hummed, letting Remus unzip and reveal Lily’s shirt… on Sirius.
“Mate!” James gasped and Remus’ cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “Why are you wearing my wife’s shirt?!”
Sirius stood up quickly, wandering into the kitchen with his empty glass. He seemed to have forgotten why he was in the kitchen as soon as he got there, turning back around to walk straight into Remus, holding his forearms for stability.
“Where’s Lily now?” Remus asked, but he had a feeling he knew the answer.
Sure enough, Sirius shrugged, brow furrowed like he was deep in concentration and trying to remember when he last saw her.
“Am I still married?” James whispered in horror.
“What’s next?” asked Sirius excitedly, oblivious to his friend in crisis. To be fair, it didn’t last very long. James’ attention span was dismal on a good day, but with a couple shots of Firewhiskey, it was seemingly nonexistent.
“Er, I think it’s time for bed,” Remus replied, knowing that it wouldn’t work, but really everyone should just turn in for the night.
“Well, what do you propose?” asked James, taking Sirius’ seat at the kitchen table. Sirius seemed to have heard nothing but propose and dropped down to one knee.
The breath was knocked out of Remus’ lungs and he quickly fell to his knees with Sirius, who was giggling and very handsy all of a sudden, reaching for him desperately.
“Where are we going next?” Sirius asked with more happy giggles.
“We just went out!” James argued.
“No we didn’t.”
“Yes, we did,” Remus said gently.
“Well I wasn’t there!”
“Yes you were.”
There were a few more minutes of gentle arguing with the three friends. Eventually James wandered off to the bathroom and Remus managed to get Sirius to stand. Sirius was brushing back Remus’ hair, eyes searching his face, his weight leaned firmly onto Remus.
“I’m not good enough,” he murmured quietly.
“What?”
“I’m not good enough,” Sirius repeated sadly, bottom lip wobbling, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“Course you’re good enough,” Remus said, pressing a kiss to his forehead and holding him tighter, rocking him back and forth a bit. “You’re more than enough.”
Sirius sighed sadly, laying his head on Remus’ shoulder, tucking his nose into his neck and closing his eyes. Remus held him tighter, knowing that everyone got a bit sad when they had too much to drink, but hoping that this wasn’t how Sirius truly felt sober. He was always very good at hiding his feelings and emotions, having had to in the house he grew up in. He always seemed to put other’s thoughts and feelings first nowadays and with the war picking up, they didn’t have a lot of time to wallow. The one night they had to blow off steam ending with Sirius sad was not ideal.
“Oh, having a cuddle?” James said from the doorway. “Can I join?”
So they ended up on the couch with James on one end, Remus on the other and Sirius sprawled out on top of them both, legs on James’ lap and back against Remus’ chest. He was already sound asleep as soon as they got into that position and James looked over at Remus sleepily.
“Think he’ll be okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Remus replied and he meant it. “Yeah, I think he just had a little too much to drink.”
James smiled and nodded, leaning his head back. “I have to get up so early tomorrow,” he complained.
“It’s already three in the morning,” Remus said with a smirk.
“Merlin…”
So Remus didn’t get his quiet night in… but he really didn’t mind.