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“Hey Pans, who are you taking to the Yule Ball?” Draco asked.
They were lazily laying on her bed, doing their potions essays together.
“Who am I taking to the Yule Ball? You think I’m going to actually take someone? Dray, I’m a bitchy gay who’s in Slytherin, do you actually believe I’ll find a date?” she said with a laugh.
In truth, there was someone she wanted to take, but there was no way in hell they’d actually go together. There were a multitude of reasons why they would never work, and there was no reason for Pansy to get her hopes up about going to the ball with her stupid crush.
“Correction: bitchy gay, hot Slytherin.”
She rolled her eyes and gave him a playful shove.
“Shut up. Besides, aren’t you and I going together?”
“Sure, but we don't actually have to spend time together. You can ditch me for some cute Ravenclaw and I’ll pretend to pout. It’s what we do. Thought I should ask if you were taking somebody though, just to be sure.”
She rolled her eyes again.
“Sure… Anyway, what should I wear?”
“Hmm. Something dark green, it compliments your complexion. And I’ll be wearing something dark green as well so we’ll match. Also it makes for a nice picture and our parents will like it.”
“That’s what I was thinking. Besides, I’ll need to look good for that cute Ravenclaw I’m running off with.”
“Oh, shove off.”
– – – – – – – – – –
So far the ball had been… fun. Boring, but fun. She and Draco had danced a few times, gotten punch, and watched the champions do their honorary dance. Her eyes had been completely focused on Crum and Granger the entire time. Somehow, Granger had tamed her unruly bird's nest of hair, and tonight it looked positively… lovely. She was wearing blue robes that looked equally nice. She looked gorgeous, and that made Pansy furious.
It wasn’t that she wanted Granger to look bad, it just infuriated her that she noticed. She couldn’t look away. It was like her eyes had been trained to be completely fixated on Granger.
She tried to get further away from her and Crum, but everywhere she looked they seemed to be there. She even started to feel some animosity towards Crum. Finally she had to admit that it was more than just appreciating the other girl’s beauty. It was attraction.
She was attracted to Granger. Granger! In what world would she ever expect that?
“Dear Merlin, I might actually be insane.”
“What?”
Oh, she did not mean to say that out loud. She could hardly admit this crush to herself, let alone Draco.
“Oh, shit, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
“Okay… Anyway, what were you saying? Something about you going insane?”
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
She could feel her face going completely red. Merlin this was embarrassing. She saw Draco raise his eyebrows and shake his head.
“Sorry, but that’s not my style. Seriously, what’s up?”
“Dray, it’s nothing. I’m serious.”
She tried to sound insistent, she really didn’t want to talk about this.
“Fine, if you say so. I’m going to get us some punch.”
Draco left and she turned her attention back to Granger. She looked gorgeous tonight. Everything about her just made Pansy’s insides turn to jelly. The past month had been extremely confusing. Everytime Granger talked to her she just panicked and spit out an insult. Being around Granger made her nervous. She’d never been all that kind to the girl, never horrid, but never nice, and now it felt like talking to her made her brain go on autopilot, and autopilot was rude.
“Okay, spill it. You’ve been acting off all night. What’s going on?” Draco asked, startling her from her thoughts.
She turned beet red again. Was he going to keep asking? There was no hiding from him, it seemed.
“It’s just- there’s someone- wait, is that Weasley?”
“What?”
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Weasley and Granger seemingly yelling at each other. Granger looked rather upset, a far cry from her mood earlier in the evening. She saw her yell something at Weasley and then run out. She could faintly hear her sobs.
“Yes, it is Weasley. Merlin, I’m going to murder him!”
“Wait what?”
“Sorry Dray- I’ll be right back.”
She hurried off in the direction Granger was going. It was like she was going on autopilot again, but this time she was determined to help.
— — — — — — — —
“Hey,” Pansy said. She had followed Hermione all the way to a dead end hallway, where Hermione was crouched in the corner. Her head was hidden in her hands, and she seemed to be quietly crying.
“Leave me alone,” she said, as she looked up towards Pansy. Her expression turned sour. “Parkinson? Just go away, now’s really not the time. If you want to make fun of me, you can do it later.”
Pansy sighed.
“No, that’s not why I’m here.”
Pansy sat down next to the other witch.
“What?”
“I kind of… followed you… when you ran out of the ball. I wanted to check on you.”
She could feel her face turn completely red. Heat crept up her neck. Merlin this was embarrassing for her.
“You really expect me to believe you’re all nice now? Shove off Parkinson, I’m not falling for it.”
Hermione scowled again, turning away.
“Hey! I’m serious, I wanted to see if you were okay. Call it an act of Christmas goodness or whatever.”
Pansy mumbled the last part and looked towards the ground.
“Sure… Well, anyway, don’t you have a date or something? You and Malfoy seemed to be having some fun.”
“Draco and I? Really?” Pansy let out a laugh. “Never. We’re just friends, even if the whole school thinks we’re together.”
Of course Hermione thought they were together, who didn’t?
“You guys actually aren’t together? Somehow I have a hard time believing that,” Hermione said, raising her eyebrows in disbelief.
Pansy tried to think of a way to explain her lack of attraction to Draco without exactly revealing the reason behind her lack of attraction towards Draco.
“We really aren’t, I mean, I go for people unlike Draco. People who aren’t…” She tried to think of the right word.
“...assholes?”
Pansy laughed again.
“No, men!”
“Wait, really?”
Pansy hadn’t expected that sort of reaction.
“...Yeah? You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”
“No, no, of course not!” Hermione said hurriedly. “I just didn’t expect you to be gay. I was pretty convinced you and Malfoy were a thing.”
“Well, surprise I guess. Since I just told you a pretty big thing about myself- not sure why I did that, but I did -isn’t it only fair you tell me why you stormed out of the Yule Ball?”
Hermione covered her face with her hands again.
“Ugh, it’s so stupid. I went with Victor, as you know, because he asked me. He likes me.” She lowered her voice. “And to be honest, I don’t like him all that much that way , but he’s sweet and I thought it would be fun going with him.”
Pansy nodded.
“Yes, that makes sense.”
“But then Ron was all like, ‘Hermione, you’re a girl, right? Well let me ask you out as a last option because no one else will go with me.’ And then he had the audacity to be offended when I said no!”
“Wow.”
Ron was worse than she thought.
“It gets worse. Then he didn’t believe I actually got a date at all and I lied because I was embarrassed. And then he was being all jealous all night and moping around trying to guilt trip me. That’s what the fight was about.”
“Wow, I cannot believe you manage to put up with this guy. I mean, I know he’s annoying and kind of stuck up but I figured he was at least decent around you. Even if he’s not normally like this- still! He’s being awful. Merlin, he’s even worse than Blaise.”
“First of all, he’s not that bad. Don’t badmouth my friend or I’ll kick you out of the hallway. Second of all, you definitely need to tell me the drama surrounding Blaise, but first, third of all, stuck up? How in the world is Ron Weasley stuck up?”
Pansy laughed dryly and Hermione gave her a confused look.
“You aren’t kidding?”
Hermione slowly shook her head.
“Wow. I know I keep saying that but- wow. First of all, he was rude to the Slytherins since day one! He literally said we were the house of evil! Secondly, his brothers booed me when I got sorted, and I never really got over that. And then of course the way he acts about his sister dating people. That’s weird. And lastly, this! He’s always been rather rude to you.”
She saw Hermione’s face fall a little bit.
“Not to say he doesn’t like you or care about being your friend- I’m sure he does. It’s not like he acts the way he does to make you feel bad, it just seems he’s so stuck in his own hormonal teen brain to think straight enough to make a proper mood on you. So; stuck up.”
“He wants to make a move on me?”
“Yes…?”
Was Hermione completely oblivious? Of course he wanted to make a move on her! It was painfully obvious to everybody. Why, half the Slytherin house had bets on when and whether they’d get together!
“I never realized. I always thought I made it clear…” Hermione muttered. She seemed to be muttering random things to herself, and looked rather exasperated.
“Made what clear?”
“That I don’t like men! And that I like someone else!” She clapped a hand over her mouth. “I did not mean to say that so loud.”
“I can relate.” She paused to think. “That statement was directed towards saying things too loud, but I suppose it’s also true for liking somebody and being gay.”
“Merlin… I don’t know what to do. Ron’s going to be so crushed.”
Really, poor Ronald was who she was worried about?
“Don’t worry about him. If he can’t take you liking somebody other than him, and you not liking people like him at all then he doesn’t deserve you.”
“Sure,” she mumbled, clearly not in belief. “Who does deserve me, exactly?”
Pansy knew it was sarcastic. Pansy knew it wasn’t the right time. Pansy knew it was stupid. Pansy knew that it would probably never be the right time because it was stupid. Pansy knew all of these rational things, and yet, she didn’t care.
“Me.”
And with that, Hermione pressed her lips firmly against Pansy’s, and it was a long time before the two finally pulled away.