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George was more than a little disappointed when he learned the doctor —who he had liked since she came to work for them at the city morgue— had plans for the turn of the century, and couldn’t go with him to the party at the station was putting on. After so, he didn’t feel in much of a celebrating mood, so he stayed in late to finish up a bit of the paperwork he needed to do, and when he did he decided to check in with Murdoch who was still in his office at the moment.
“Sir?”
“George?” Murdoch turned to look at him, placing down the piece of chalk in his hand, “Shouldn’t you be at the turn of the year celebration?”
“Ah... no sir I don’t think I’m going to go, actually.” he leaned on the desk, it did sound like fun, going to the dance, but he doubted he’d have a good time watching people with their sweethearts and dates.
“What about Doctor Grace, surely she’s expecting you?”
“No sir... she had plans to go to another party,” he paused a moment to look away from Murdoch, “she invited me, but I thought it best not to go.”
“Doctor Grace... Invited you out, and you’re not there now?”
“I just don’t think I’d fit in with any of her friend's sir, they’re very... high brow,” he explained “I’m merely just a copper.” Normally he didn’t mind his status, but he couldn’t help but feel a little down due to the circumstances.
George watched as Murdoch got a faraway look in his eyes like he so often did. The boy took the moment he had to admire the Detectives eyes, he liked being able to stare at him when he could, they were so pretty... full of wonder at times. If he was lucky, sometimes he got to see that excited, passionate look he got when he was talking about an invention he was working on, or talking about a topic he cared about. Really George felt lucky to be the Detective's go-to constable.
“George,” the call of his name drew him out of his thoughts, “It’s the turn of a new century... it should be celebrated, so can I suggest we go together?”
George felt a small smile grow on his face, as he pushed himself off the desk to stand upright, “I say that sounds perfect sir.” he couldn’t help but feel a little giddy.
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George and William —as the Detective instructed him to call him just moments before they arrived— were standing near a wall watching the couples dance. Every now and then George got the idea to pipe up and talk about something, and his ‘ date ’ — which he guessed he could call him — would humor whatever topic he wanted to talk about. It made George feel special in a way, having Murdoch’s full attention, having the man to himself the whole night.
“George, are you sure you don’t want something to drink? You know I don’t mind,” Will spoke up after a long bout of silence, with just them enjoying the music.
“Oh I know,” he smiled, “I don’t mind refraining though, besides the punch is excellent, don’t you think?”
The Detective gave an amused smile, “Yes, quite... excellent .”
George leaned back against the wall, adjusting his tie a bit. There was a part of him that wished he could dance, he was pretty good, one of his aunts had taught him at a pretty young age— since he couldn’t though, he swayed himself a bit to the sound of the music. After a moment he felt someone watching him so he looked over to see William staring at him with a small smile on his face, George stopped.
“What is it, sir?” the sir had slipped out without his consent, he was so used to it, he doubted he would get used to calling Murdoch his name.
The question seemed to snap him out of whatever he was thinking. “Nothing... sorry George, I didn’t mean to stare” he apologized, “You just seem like you’re having fun is all”
“Oh!” George got a dopey grin on his face “I am Sir— uh, William, I always enjoy spending time with you!” Despite no alcohol, his tongue was as loose as ever.
William got that curious look in his eyes, it made him nervous; would the Detective see it as weird? Maybe he’d think George took too much of a liking to him and want to stop working with him.
“I enjoy spending time with you too, George,” he said after a moment, with a soft smile that relaxed him from his tense stance.
Once again he felt giddy at the thought that Murdoch liked spending time with him. He started swaying again and finished the last of the punch he had. If William liked watching him, he didn’t mind, even made him feel a bit... special.
“Correct me if I’m wrong George, but you seem to want to dance,” he pointed out.
“Yes a bit,” he admitted sheepishly, “You see my aunt insisted I learn how to ballroom dance, and I don’t get a chance to do it much. I was almost more excited to dance than the possibility of going with Doctor Grace.”
It even shocked him admitting that, he wondered why now he didn’t mind that the Doctor had turned him down; possibly because he was with the Detective, how could he be upset if he was with someone that made him so happy? Every time Will told him he did a good job and praised him, he felt his head get light. Anytime he called his name for him to join him on a case, he felt overjoyed, and when the Detective got just a little too close to him, he could feel his heart pound and body heat up just a little. He was in a good mood almost anytime he was with William, and until now that didn't seem odd to him, but now he wondered why.
“George?'' From the way, Murdoch said his name he had probably been saying it for quite some time.
“Oh, I’m sorry sir,” he quickly apologized, “what is it?”
“I asked if you wanted to get some air? There was a gazebo in the back garden we could sit at.”
George didn’t know if being more alone with William while he was having this small crisis was the best idea, but he didn’t have it in him to say no. So out they went back to sit at the gazebo, discarding their cups on the way out, even from out in the garden he could hear the music from the band. He looked out at the garden, the setting was rather... romantic for the two of them to be alone.
“It is a bit nicer out here, not cramped,” he said looking back at the Detective.
“Yes, it was getting rather... stuffy in there” he agreed, before walking closer to Geroge.
Usually, when William got close to him, it was by accident, almost like he didn’t understand or see that he was invading his personal space... not that it was an invasion to him, these days George welcomed it, though when he first came to the station he would try to subtly move away. But this time it seemed intentional, every step was careful, as if he was worried the Constable would scare him away if he got too close.
“Sir?” his voice cracked, making his cheeks heat up, more than they already were.
“I have to admit, I brought you here because I figured maybe we could dance?” he said “but of course, I understand how that would look to the others so... somewhere more secluded felt best”
“But... you can’t dance?”
William gave an amused chuckle, “I guess you’ll have to lead”
George smiled and glanced toward the building; he wondered if there would be a time when William would be able to ask this without eyebrows being raised or the possibility of a mental asylum. He looked back at the Detective.
“You don’t have to Sir —”
“No... I don't, but if it makes you happy then, I want to”
George opened and closed his mouth a few times, before settling on nodding. William stepped a bit closer and held his hands the way he was supposed to, the Constable smiled and took a position with him, as they started to dance to the music. Will was... clumsy , probably the worst he’s ever danced with, stepping on his feet, nearly tripping over himself, it was simple to say those lessons he took didn’t stick with the Detective, and yet George loved every minute, correcting his steps, catching him so he didn’t fall, looking down at him to see him watching his feet.
“I’m sure this isn’t what you pictured when you thought about dancing again...” William had an apologetic tone, looking at the Constable.
“No, not exactly sir,” he said with a laugh, “ but it’s still perfect ”
Will looked up at him and smiled. They continued dancing, seemingly getting lost in the music, and despite his inexperience, the Detective once relaxed seemed to be able to follow his lead a little more, making the mistakes fewer. He didn’t know how long they stayed in one another's arms, dancing like that, but he knew any amount of time would feel too short.
George's own thoughts were starting to worry him, he had always looked at Detective Murdoch differently, sure but, it felt like all of the sudden he was realizing why that was, realizing why he happily volunteered to stay late at work with him, why he willingly got himself into embarrassing situations for the sake of helping him. It was safe to say that maybe George had always been attracted to William and just hid it from himself, hiding behind the false comfortability of admiring his detecting skill and wanting to be trained by him.
“Is something wrong, George?” The man's worried tone warmed his heart.
“No sir... everything's... perfect,” he tried to give a genuine smile but his nerves were getting the best of him.
“ I really would prefer if you called me William , we are dancing together after all”
“Yes... Sorry, William”
The Detective smiled at the name, though it faded quickly, “Really, whatever's bothering you, George, you know you can tell me.”
“I don’t know if I can this time” they had stopped dancing and Georges had instinctively dropped his hand to the man's waist, too lost in his own head to acknowledge what his body was doing.
“Is it because of Dr. Grace?”
“No... Si— uh... William, why did you decide to go with me?” he asked “ Not that I’m not happy, but I was just wondering! ” he quickly added before Will could think anything of the question.
“Well...” he paused to think for a moment, “you did seem like you were excited for the party even before you asked me if you should ask Dr. Grace... and you’re one of the most hard-working guys at the station, you’re an amazing Constable and an even better friend, I guess I just thought you deserved to enjoy this night… even if it wasn’t with who you wanted to”
“Oh! No sir, don’t think I’m ungrateful, I’m having a wonderful time with you!” he said quickly.
“Well good, then it all worked out!”
George looked into the man's eyes, he so badly wanted to kiss him. It was dangerous, stupid even , and yet he wanted it, he craved to close the distance. For a moment he pulled the man closer before quickly letting him go, realizing where his hands were and what his body was doing without his consent.
“I’m sorry, sir,” panic crept into his voice.
“George?”
“Maybe we should go back in, people will wonder where we got off to,” he put some distance in between them.
William tilted his head, a thoughtful look in his eyes that made George even more nervous. At times he really felt like the Detective could read his thoughts— hell, maybe Murdoch already knew he was enamored with him and just was too polite to tell George to back off. William got that look in his eyes, the same one he got when he managed to piece together how everything linked in a case.
“Well, if you want to stay out here...” George said, turning around hoping to quickly go hide somewhere before the Detective could say anything.
“George —” he grabbed the man's wrist and turned him, causing him to flinch, waiting for a punch to land, or harsh words to be thrown, though it would be uncharacteristic of Will to do so. “I wasn’t going to hurt you...” he frowned, letting go of the man's wrist.
“Sir?” he asked nervously.
“George I—” he paused, thinking how to word everything, the constable patiently waited for him to collect his thoughts. “I’m sure you know by now, but I’m not the best at picking up subtleties in social situations or understanding the nuances of certain social normalities,” he explains, “it really is best if you’re just forward with me, so I don’t have to try and guess.”
George looked at the Detective, a man he considered his friend, someone he’s known for years, he had been so patient with George even when he said something a little stupid, or when he suggested something outlandish, he always heard him out, and never mocked him for whatever beliefs he had. Looking at it now it wasn’t surprising that he fell for Will, who could stop themselves? Possibly it could even be... Natural?
“Well... what do you think is wrong with me?” he was too nervous to come up with a lie at the moment, he hoped he could just agree with whatever Murdoch said.
“Well... the change in nerves, the... redness of your neck and face, the way you held my waist... the change in heart rate,” George suddenly wished he hadn’t asked, of course, Murdoch noticed all of his behavior. “It's not even just tonight, now that I think about it, but all would lead to the conclusion that you...” he hesitated, “are in some way attracted to me.”
Of course, telling Murdoch to guess worked against him, what did he think would happen? George turned walking a few paces as he ran his hand through his hair, before turning back to the detective. He felt tears gathering in his eyes, it felt like his whole entire world was ending and he could do nothing to stop the asteroids from colliding with it. He bent over resting his hands on his knees, praying to whoever would listen that all of this was just some horrible dream, and he’d wake up and have nothing but platonic feelings for William. His stomach lurched. He felt a hand on his back and shoulder, he looked to see the Detective looking at him worried.
“My, George, what's got you so worked up?” he asked innocently as if his deductions hadn’t single-handedly ruined him.
“I don’t know how it happened Sir,” his voice came out shaky as he cried, allowing William's hands to guide him to stand again. “I swear I didn’t know I was in love with you. You’re just so kind to me, and patient. You’re probably one of the most amazing people I’ve met, and until tonight I didn’t even question if I had feelings for you but... but...” he felt his breathing get short. “I just... I really think... oh Jeez, what… what’s happening to me?” he started trembling as his lungs seemed to have a mind of their own, and his head spun.
Nothing was in his control anymore, he couldn’t talk, he could breathe, his heart was pounding against his chest, it almost physically hurt. He had never experienced anything like it before, and he felt like he was dying— No better time for that to happen.
“Hey... George?” He guided him with his hand on his back to sit at the gazebo, sitting with him “deep breaths George. I just read about this, we just need to calm you down,” he rubbed his hands in circles.
The Constable closed his eyes, focusing on the hand and evening his breath out, he trusted will to take care of him and not let him die. The uneven breaths turned to soft sobbing, he preferred this to feeling to whatever had happened before.
Slowly he calmed down, and Will put an arm around his waist pulling him closer. George was too worn out to think much, so he rested his head against his shoulder, keeping his eyes closed. He just wanted this night to be over, he didn’t think he had ever felt this exhausted in his life, everything was so confusing at the moment.
“George?” William questioned, after allowing the boy a few minutes of silence.
“Yes, sir?” his throat was sore, it was almost too taxing on him to speak.
“Did... you say you were in love with me?”
George went quiet and lifted his head sniffing a bit. “My stupid mouth...” he mumbled shaking his head, “Can we forget this happened?”
“No—”
“William, really I’ll get over them... they're just feelings, they’ll go away” he begged.
“I can’t —”
“Really sir, I like Emily, I’d be happy with her, or someone else... being alone isn’t so bad, I can adopt more pets and —”
“ George, would you shut up for once ” he quickly shut him off from his ramblings, he waited a moment to see if he’d stay quiet and when he did he used his free hand to cup his cheek, “George... I love you too,” he said.
“What? but... Dr. Ogden?”
“I’m ashamed to admit, we lied to you all” he frowned. “We were never dating, she just knew of my... attraction to you and she was willing to play the loving girlfriend for me... at least for a bit, though I knew that couldn’t last forever.”
“So you never... liked her?”
“No…” he shook his head, “George, do you know why I pick you to come out with me all the time?” he asked, getting a head shake, “well firstly; I know you’re good at your job , but secondly because I figured I’d have no other reason to be alone with you otherwise.”
George searched the Detective for any sign of foolery, however, as he expected, he found none; Murdoch was as genuine as always. Though he knew it wasn’t that simple... not with them both being men of law and the way things were now.
“So... what do we do?” he asked.
“We could try dating,” William smiled softly.
“But... Wouldn’t that be wrong of us... being what we do for a living that is?”
“Ah, I see your point with that... but I think we’ve seen that the law can be wrong sometimes George, don’t you think? ”
“Well, yes sir.” George mumbled, “but we could never be... normal ”
“Does that bother you?”
“A little...” he looked at William, trying to imagine his life without him, trying to imagine courting and marrying some girl, instead of being with him, it made him feel miserable, helpless even. “But... maybe not as much as I thought... You want kids though, I could never give you that.”
“There are ways,” he grabbed George's hand, “firstly I want someone worth spending my life with, and from the moment I met you, George, I... felt you were that person, I just never fathomed you’d feel anything for me at all”
George stared into his eyes, he flinched a bit when he heard the fireworks start, glancing at the sky toward the front of the house. Such a beautiful night, and such complex feelings. He looked back at Will, looking as stunning as ever under the flashes of colored fireworks. George moved forward and kissed him, giving in to the urges now, he rested his hand behind his neck as they kissed. It was one of the most passionate kisses he had ever had, so many emotions put into what he saw as such a simple act.
Neither of them wanted to pull away, but both knew they couldn’t stay like that for too long, their colleagues could walk out any second and see them; so they separated, but stayed close to one another. William took his hand once more.
“What say you, George, is it worth a try?”
George looked into his eyes, there were still so many questions to be answered, so much to talk about, and figure out, however, there was one thing he knew for certain at that moment; “ Yeah... I say it’s worth a try ”